Most of the guys who don't have a girlfriend were very close to a new relationship. But most likely, they were prevented by a lack of perseverance or some small detail in their opinion - like the absence of a front tooth in the mouth or a diploma of higher education in the pocket.
Today we will talk about the main (and not so basic) reasons why you may have difficulties with the fair sex. After you read about all these reasons, we strongly recommend that you create a tailored plan to overcome the existing obstacles. And, of course, begin to act in accordance with the developed strategy.
Reason 7. You get lost in the crowd_7
If you constantly communicate with more popular guys, being in the shadow of their fame, don’t blame me: you’ll have to come to terms with your position as number two. If your friends are much hotter and sexier, your super-cute personality will always be perceived as much less valuable. Therefore, you should not try to score extra points at the expense of your friends. Otherwise, you will have to spend millions of years to get a girl.
And if you are far from a leading position in your group, you may even have to change your social circle. Find new friends who don't know that you've always played second fiddle. And become one of the key decision makers in your group. After all, women are always attracted to status leaders - so become one of them, and you will easily find a girlfriend.
Too soft
There is nothing wrong if a man enjoys a sunny day or loves to cuddle pets. The girls surveyed even agreed that they were not put off by displays of sensitivity, such as tears or sadness. But the inability to make decisions , the habit of always adapting to others and the reluctance to defend one’s point of view – this is already serious.
It is also worth considering that female nature is based on visual and auditory perception of the world. Women are embarrassed by external “softness” and the lack of visual qualities of courage - a strong-willed chin, sharp cheekbones, broad shoulders, tall stature.
Reason 8. You are an introvert _8
Do you sit at home for days without going anywhere beyond the grocery store? Then the question is: where are you going to look for the lady of your heart - under the sofa, behind the trash can? Or perhaps on the grocery shelf between the cans of pickled beans?
To get acquainted, you need to go out and visit crowded places and events. Where, in principle, you can meet someone. So if you suffer from excessive introversion, we recommend that you properly work on this quality - otherwise you will have to while away your life alone until you grow gray.
Do I need all this?
Their own unpreparedness for a relationship is a reason that few girls pay attention to, but which crushes everything else. This may be an elementary fear of falling in love without looking back with someone unworthy, fear of difficulties and changes in one’s life, reluctance to part with one’s own free time, etc. The desire for romance and His presence nearby for such a girl is nothing more than the pressure of society, which walks along the alleys of the park, tenderly holds hands and shamelessly kisses at every step.
If a girl is not internally ready to let a stranger into her life yet, then even if he persistently waves his hands in front of her nose - they say, here I am! It's me you've been waiting for so long! - she will let him pass both her heart and her life.
Reason 11. You're out of shape_11
This does not mean that for the sake of a relationship you need to turn your nose into a jock. It just means it's time to get rid of the hanging fat and beer belly. And in order to pump up your muscles a little and shed those extra pounds, you will have to make an effort.
You don't have to become perfect; but it’s definitely worth adjusting your appearance a little. Because if you are in good shape, this cannot but attract girls. Remember, friend: sport truly works wonders.
Let go of old attachments
Doesn't being in love with the most handsome boy in school since the third grade give chances to equally good guys in adulthood? The time has come to forget about the failed past and look with open eyes at your own environment in the present. Wonderful guys are here, nearby, but while your heart is hopelessly occupied with one thing, you don’t see anyone around you - for a new relationship you need free space in your soul, and therefore it’s time to do some spring cleaning in your heart and get rid of unnecessary ballast.
Reason 13. You think girls don't like you_13
“I’d rather not talk to her, she doesn’t like me anyway”, “She and I are from different social strata, so we can forget about hope”, “It looks like she already has a boyfriend”... How many times have you repeated these to yourself? excuses? But you just have to step away from your usual ideas for a minute - and you will see that the real situation is completely opposite to the fables that you compose in your mind.
For example, you may find out that this or that female person is madly in love with you, while no signals from her indicate this. Moreover, this lady may think like this: since you do not take any action, then you have no interest in her. So the truth will not be known until we can talk frankly.
Or consider another situation. You see the girl you like in a bar talking to another guy. And naturally, the thought comes to your mind that she is in love with him, and your train has left. But what if this person is actually her creepy boss who she can't stand? And she was actually hoping that you would interrupt this conversation and save her from an unpleasant conversation?
Are you a homebody?
The armchair troops replenish their ranks with recruits every day. It doesn’t matter what is the reason that you may not leave your home for days on end, but you will never have a girlfriend. It might be worth visiting more often :
- bars;
- museums;
- shopping centers.
These are classic public places where a huge number of couples meet every day.
You can try going to a nightclub if you are interested in fleeting romances. In any case, even if 9 out of 10 girls refuse you, there will certainly be one who will say “yes”. Not forgetting that the level of socialization directly affects the effectiveness of communication with people.
With each failure, the probability of a subsequent one will rapidly decrease , which will certainly lead to the desired result. How quickly you achieve it depends only on your determination, but first, be sure to get out of your comfort zone.
Reason 14. You are dressed haphazardly_14
Unfortunately for women, millions of men don't care about their appearance. But you do realize that attracting the opposite sex is the whole point of the fashion industry, right? It is the poem that women spend hours and days on makeup, hair and clothes. And they will never come to a party twice in the same dress. The reason is simple - they want to be noticeable to potential suitors.
This also applies to us. Clothes two sizes too big that you pulled out of your grandfather's trunk will always make you Mr. Invisible. Did you know that one of the first things that interested women look at is shoes? So the next time you walk down the street, pay attention to how many passing girls first looked into your eyes and then at your shoes.
You become fixated on one thing, seeing its indifference
Perhaps suffering from unrequited love looks noble and is described beautifully in books, but in real life such behavior is unlikely to attract approval from the outside. The habit of giving yourself in advance to someone who doesn’t need you at all will take a ton of time, money and nerves from you. If you feel that there is some imbalance of importance in your relationship with a girl, you should not get hung up on her. Leave phrases like: “I can’t live without her”, “I only need her” and others to teenagers.
A grown man is self-sufficient, has self-respect and will not behave like a doormat. In a situation where you see the obvious futility of developing a relationship with one lady, try to transfer your attention to another, don’t do anything stupid and behave with dignity.
It is better to strive to simultaneously maintain contact with several girls at once. At the very least, it will improve your self-esteem. As a maximum, you will always have an alternate airfield.
Why doesn't a guy have a girlfriend at 16, 17 and 18 years old?
It is enough to study yourself a little, take a closer look at the society in which you are, determine the level of your own dependence on it, significance, and it will be much easier for you to understand why you have not yet found your person among the girls.
Good reasons
- Inferiority complex
It can still affect young people at this age. This is due to the developmental characteristics of each individual personality.
There is a high probability of joining the army, therefore there is no desire to develop personal relationships with the opposite sex.
- No money for dates
At this time, modern guys are already seriously starting to think about the money they are ready to spend on girls, and then on their chosen one. Perhaps you should just find yourself a part-time job to solve this problem.
- Excellent student, “crammed”, “nerd”
When a lot of time is spent studying, then there is simply no time to engage in dating and start relationships.
- Cowardice, weakness, ignorance
Girls love brave, strong and those who know how to defend their opinions.
Psychological blocks
But alas, many guys, asking the question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?”, do not see the obvious answer. Namely, that the reason lies in themselves. And often this is not related to their natural appearance and social status. The root of evil is buried precisely in their psychological attitude.
What’s worse, few of them want to fix it, because it’s much easier to blame fate than to pull yourself together and find a way out of the situation. So, let's look at those psychological blocks that become an obstacle when searching for a life partner.
Tomorrow's problem
But do you know what the main problem of many single guys is? This is the belief that tomorrow something will change. That a new day will come and everything will work out by itself, as if the Universe itself will help them achieve their goals.
But alas, this will not happen. The reality is that in this life you will have to achieve everything yourself. And finding a girl is no exception to this rule. Therefore, you should not wait for a wonderful Monday and take on this task right now.
And who knows, maybe tomorrow the question “why don’t I have a girlfriend?” won't bother you anymore. And then the only task will be to preserve the existing relationship, but this is a completely different story.
Dating goals
To meet representatives of the opposite sex, you need to define your goals. It is best that both partners have them the same. Then there will be no disagreements on the first date or later. Most often, men set themselves the following goals:
- Meet a woman to start a family or serious relationship.
- Find a permanent girl for a romantic relationship.
- Meet a girl for friendship.
- Dating for an intimate relationship.
How to become an optimist if you are a pessimist - is this realistic and what to do?
After determining the goal, you need to create an image in the head of your future partner in order to have a certain reference point. To do this, the following qualities are assessed:
- External data (hair color, eye color, body composition, height);
- Character traits (kindness, audacity, humility, pliability and others);
- A woman's intelligence (ability to maintain and develop a conversation).
The most ideal option for a man is a woman who suits him in appearance, is beautiful for him, and also knows how to carry on a conversation well.
Important! Nowadays, not only men, but also women meet for sexual relations.
Girl with a red dress and a bicycle
