Etiquette for communicating with people: rules and patterns

Human cannot live without communicating with other people , in the process of professional activity, for his own development or pleasure, he comes into contact with other people throughout his life.

However, the communication process is not always pleasant for both parties of communication. What are the rules and norms of communication? What are ethical principles of communication and how to learn to comply with them?

You can learn about the basic techniques of constructive communication and interaction from our article.

Etiquette lessons when communicating between men and women

On the street, men are supposed to follow to the left of their companions. Only military men can walk to the right of women in order to be able to salute if necessary.
A male representative must enter the restaurant first, so he informs the head waiter that he will pay himself. However, if there is a doorman on duty at the entrance, the man needs to let his companion go first, and then look for a table where he can sit.
A male representative must be the first to go to his seat facing the people sitting at a concert, play or cinema.
If a lady greets someone on the street, then her gentleman needs to do this too, even if this person is unfamiliar to him.
A man should not touch a representative of the fairer sex without her approval. You can deviate from this rule of etiquette when communicating in those moments when a man helps his companion cross the road, get out or enter a vehicle.
A male representative can smoke in front of a woman only with her permission.

Chatting with strangers

Sometimes difficulties arise when speaking to strangers in transport or on the street. It is common to use the words: woman, man, boy, grandfather. However, such treatment is unacceptable. According to communication ethics, you need to use impersonal phrases: please tell me, excuse me.

According to the ethics of communication, a man should be the first to greet a woman, a junior to a senior (by age or rank), a latecomer who is waiting, or someone already present who has entered.

Depending on the circumstances, the following types of treatment are distinguished:

Official (madam, citizen, master);
informal (by name or “you”);
impersonal.

Speech etiquette rules

If you are insulted in public, you should not succumb to the provocations of the offender. Leave the scene with a smile on your lips.
Anyone entering the room should be the first to greet, regardless of their position.
Social etiquette dictates that certain things should be kept secret. These include: prayer, information about material well-being, love affairs, dishonest and noble deeds committed, and other points.
If your apology was accepted, there is no need to ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat your mistakes.
It is necessary to say thank you to those people who showed generosity towards you or came to your aid in difficult times. They were under no obligation to perform these noble deeds.

Ethical principles

Communication ethics implies adherence to the following principles:

Politeness. A fundamental principle of ethics that dictates respect for one's partner.
Cooperation. Involves a contribution to the common cause from each participant in order to achieve effective interaction.
Parity. According to this principle, all participants in communication are equal, excluding the dominance of any of them. At the same time, even with different social status, those communicating must observe the principle of politeness and respect each other.
Truthfulness. Communication partners are obliged to provide each other with complete and undistorted information on any issue.
Clarity. During verbal interaction, each of its participants must present information in such a way that his partner does not make unnecessary efforts to correctly perceive it.
Subsequence. This principle prescribes a consistent development of dialogue, for example, a greeting implies the same response, congratulations should be followed by gratitude, etc.

Compliance with ethical principles in communication leads to mutual respect and trust of all partners, which become the basis for the development of further interaction between people.

Business communication etiquette

The rules of official discipline must be observed.
We must not forget about punctuality.
You should express your thoughts briefly, without using unnecessary words.
You need to listen to your interlocutor very carefully.
You should not only take into account your own interests, you need to listen carefully to the opinions of your work colleagues.
In clothing, you should adhere to the style adopted in the institution. Female representatives should forget about too bright makeup and inappropriate jewelry.
We should not forget about the culture of speech and writing.

Cultural communication, what is it?

The culture of communication, thanks to the established system of principles, norms and rules, and the technique of their implementation, helps to solve the main task of communication as such, to achieve mutual understanding between people in contact.

Cultural communication implies compliance with the norms of interpersonal communication in one or another unit of society, including many factors, moral, cultural, and psychological.

At the same time, cultural communication is most strongly associated with morality. Cultural communication is distinguished by the following characteristic features :

Respect for the partner, politeness and the desire not to use words that are offensive or vulnerable to the interlocutor.
Willingness to understand and accept the position of the interlocutor, even if what is said is not part of the intended reaction to the stimulus remark.
Preventing and overcoming conflict situations, as well as tolerance and tolerance towards a partner.
Equality of those communicating in dialogue and its fundamental observance.

Social Media Etiquette

Social networks can open a window into the personal lives of people registered there. The etiquette of communicating with people does not recommend opening it too widely; even close people should not see intimate photos or be aware of family events.

You should not focus on the statements of some commentators on social networks or respond to inappropriate sayings.
It is not advisable to look for sympathy on your page on social networks, because there are enough negative events among the people who read it.
It is not recommended to overuse abbreviations of words or sayings filled with rhetoric: strangers may not decipher them and distort the meaning.
The etiquette of communicating with people considers offering friendship to strangers on social networks a manifestation of bad taste.

What is important in a greeting

Intonation . A very important element of greeting! A greeting expressed in a rude or dry tone may offend the person you are greeting. You need to greet people warmly and friendly.

Smile . Adding a smile to your greeting will improve your overall mood.

Gestures . Greetings are usually accompanied by a bow, a nod of the head, a handshake, a hug, and a kiss on the hand.

When greeting a man, he must take off his hat. There is no need to take off your winter hat, beret, or cap!

When greeting, you should not lower your eyes; you need to meet the gaze of the person you are greeting.

When greeting, it is indecent to keep your hands in your pockets and a cigarette in your mouth.

Telephone communication

The rules for communicating with people on the phone state that the conversation should be conducted politely, regardless of whether the communication is with acquaintances or strangers. This rule helps to form and strengthen a positive impression.

Politeness is also an important part of business telephone conversations. Following certain rules of etiquette can help strengthen the image of the company and the employee directly conducting telephone negotiations.

Etiquette lessons say that once you dial the desired number, you should not wait for a long time for an answer. The most optimal waiting period is a period that includes five or six telephone rings. If there is no answer during this time, it means that the called subscriber is currently unable to answer the phone call.

The rules of communication etiquette state that you need to answer the call on the second or third ring. A prompt response will highlight your professional qualities and save your interlocutor’s time.

What is communication culture?

Communication culture is a concept that determines the quality and perfection of communication between people, characterizing moral models of communication, norms and rules of interaction between people.

The basis of the culture of communication is morality , since it is included in all spheres of human society.

From a moral point of view, a person evaluates all manifestations of social life or any individual person, their compliance or non-compliance with moral principles and norms close to him.

Morality also helps to form an image of a moral ideal for a person, which he will strive to live up to.

Morality orients a person to treat a person as the highest value, helps to follow the ideals of justice and goodness, which in everyday life is expressed in human relationships in the family, with colleagues, acquaintances and close friends.

Such contacts reveal such moral qualities as respect, duty, love, loyalty, sympathy, and friendship. a huge role in this.

Rules for talking on the phone

Business and personal telephone conversations should be separated. Official conversations should be conducted from work devices, informal conversations from personal ones.
It is not recommended to call before nine in the morning and after ten o'clock in the evening.
If the call is addressed to a stranger, you must definitely explain where you got his phone number from.
Telephone communication should not take too long.
The person who answers the call may not identify himself even if the call is from a work phone.
The one who calls says his name first.
You should find out from the called party whether it is convenient for him to carry on a conversation at the moment.
You need to conduct a telephone conversation in a friendly tone, clearly expressing your thoughts.
You can end a telephone conversation only after making sure that the interlocutor has said everything necessary.

Etiquette for communicating with people is constantly present in our lives. People who know its rules do not experience difficulties in communication and feel free in any society.

Problem

Ethics stipulates the rules of behavior that correspond to morality, and etiquette is only external manifestations, forms of behavior in a given situation. This leads to the main problem of communication ethics - when a person acting according to etiquette does not comply with ethical standards.

In this case, he can be considered a liar and a hypocrite, since his words do not correspond to internal attitudes.

In the same way, a person who demonstrates highly moral behavior without observing the basic rules of etiquette .

Therefore, the concepts of communication ethics and etiquette should not be considered separately. While observing the rules of etiquette, you should always remember the morality of your actions, and when performing highly moral actions, you must not forget about etiquette.

Ethical standards and the consequences of non-compliance

When the ethical principles of verbal communication are absent or partially observed, this can manifest itself in human rudeness, insult, and opposition to others. Indecent behavioral manners are expressed in the condemnation of actions unacceptable for any individual, and the widespread imposition of one’s own opinion. This can lead to misunderstandings and damage on the part of the two parties involved. It is noteworthy that a highly moral person, driven by ethical motives, experiences discomfort not only when he involuntarily does something wrong, but also when he sees negative manifestations around him. Failure to comply with basic norms of behavior in communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts and even a breakdown in relationships between participants in communication.

Principles of ethics in communication

There is a so-called golden rule, familiar to everyone since childhood: treat others the way you want to be treated. It applies to absolutely any life situation. We can say that many ethical principles of communication are based on this rule: altruistic, norms of virtue, demanding of oneself and others, the law of equality and justice, etc.

Thanks to the principles of open and sincere communication, a high degree of trust arises, without which contact is not possible. Trusting close relationships cannot be built without honesty, truthfulness, kindness and respect for the people around you. This can also include care, politeness, good manners, etc. The principles of correct communication are inextricably linked with the quality of speech itself. It must contain logic, expediency, literacy, as well as conciseness and meaningfulness at the same time. As for brevity, it all depends on personal desires and preferences. To some, overly extended praises will seem boring, while others will not understand the idea that they tried to convey in a more concise form.

The relationship between culture and speech

A cultured person stands out from the crowd with his demeanor, courtesy, awareness and communication skills. Such a person knows how to behave in society, makes contact easily and can carry on a conversation.

The speech of a cultured person is distinguished by semantic accuracy, grammatical correctness, expressiveness, richness and versatility of vocabulary and logical harmony.

Such speech is called standardized - in its oral form it corresponds to the currently existing pronunciation standards, and in written form - to the rules of punctuation and spelling.

The relationship between culture and speech is obvious here. A person who does not have an idea of moral and ethical standards will not be able to observe speech etiquette for the following reasons:

lack of any education and literacy;
narrow outlook;
lack of communication skills;
an abundance of “weed” words in speech;
use of profanity.

Important! In some cases, knowledge of etiquette does not guarantee decent communication. Sometimes it is a question of the personal qualities of the interlocutor.

Components of moral health and principles of pedagogical communication

In the formation of the above principles, the main role is played by the so-called components of moral health, namely moral beliefs, traits, habits, abilities and actions. If for some reason a person has a high cultural level, then he is more likely to struggle with his negative inclinations, which will certainly affect the quality of his contacts with other people. Humanity is the main motive inherent in a person who observes ethical standards. Such a subject empathizes, sympathizes, shows kindness, mercy and decency. A person who interacts with a humane person feels significant and important to the interlocutor.

The basic rules and principles of communication include:

showing mutual respect for each other;
democratization and humanization of relations;
tolerance, social justice and tolerance;
objective and unbiased attitude towards the interlocutor;
respecting boundaries and recognizing the personal dignity of each person;
honesty in relationships;
acceptance and understanding of the interests of the interlocutor.

If you begin to regularly use these simple norms and principles of communication with children and adults, you will soon notice how your level of interpersonal interaction has increased. You will also learn to better understand people and play out scenarios of possible developments in your head.

Rules for successful formal communication

The main thing is no familiarity. Flirting between business partners is also excluded. Interlocutors must find the perfect balance between polite detachment and polite involvement. The first should not turn into arrogance, the second into obsession.

You should not adhere to the picture's officialdom. At a business meeting, there may well be appropriate jokes and conversations on abstract topics. Getting personal is taboo, it’s rude and can offend your interlocutor.

Punctuality, commitment and honesty. When creating a first impression, there are no trifles - don’t be late, don’t be rude to the staff.

Business communication is different in that it does not contain fragments that hint at personal topics. This communication is to the point - polite, courteous and impartial, but at the same time inviting. It is aimed at achieving mutual understanding and contact.

Official communication provides for the following rules:

manners and speech in accordance with the specific situation;
extreme clarity of speech - clear pronunciation, clarity of presentation;
reliability of information;
correctness;
moderation;
attentiveness;
maintaining distance.

Use opening phrases

So, next to you stands a person with a friendly look, clearly inclined to communicate. You may have already said hello, smiled at each other, shook hands and got to know each other. Now you need to start a casual conversation to turn this stranger from a stranger into a friend.

Look around and find something to start a conversation about. Any phrase about what is happening around will be a good introduction to a casual conversation. Start with simple observation.

“This is the new chairman of the PTA, right?”
"Best speech I've ever heard!"
“And the title of the slowest elevator in the world goes to... our elevator!”
“Looks like it's starting to rain again. Guess who didn't bring an umbrella."
“Is this a portrait of one of the agency’s founding fathers?”

Please note that all statements are impersonal. That's the point: with innocent topics like these, you can easily start a conversation. You will not be considered tactless or an annoying person who pesters you with personal problems.

Ask open questions

Open questions require a detailed answer and give the interlocutor the opportunity to express his opinion.

“What do you think of the speaker?”
“When does the ski season open here?”
“Where are the best women's clothing stores in this city?”
“What bait are you fishing with?”
“Do you know why that jazz club closed?”

Ask the main questions of journalists (what, why, where and how) if you want to get a detailed answer from your interlocutor. This way you will learn more interesting information and be able to maintain a conversation.

JENNY: What do you think about clowns with balloons?

Parity

At first glance, it may seem that in ordinary life careful adherence to the norms of decency is not so important, that only active people are faced with ethics and principles of communication, in particular. But sooner or later the understanding comes that a successful conversation and pleasure from it is impossible without observing the basics of ethics. The key point when communicating is maintaining parity, that is, accepting your partner’s interests, recognizing your equality to each other and maintaining a relaxed and easy atmosphere. Oddly enough, every person does not immediately realize the rule of parity - for some, the awareness of the need for this principle comes in childhood and is laid down by their parents, while for others they have to figure everything out with their own mind. The moral and ethical principles that a person observes are a litmus test of his unique qualities and level of development. They are the basis for the manner of speech, attitude towards opponents and interlocutors, and the key needs that are inherent in a particular person.

Books

Competent communication is now at a premium. Already from school, children absorb applications on smartphones faster than communication skills, or even basic expression of their thoughts. Therefore, in our technological age, it is important not to forget to read books. Use a selection of useful books:

Mark Goulston “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation technique.”
Philip Zimbardo “How to overcome shyness.”
Jack Schafer “We turn on the charm according to the methods of the secret services.”
James Borg “Secrets of Communication. The magic of words."
Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
Robert Cialdini “Psychology of influence”.
Larry King: How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere.