In life, everything is a first, and therefore unknown and a little scary. The first date, if it is actually the first meeting, can be a step towards a long-term serious relationship or lead to disappointment and pain. We are not talking now about easy relationships by mutual consent. We are talking about the beginning of the union of two loving hearts. A woman expects much more from such a date than her partner.
Awakening the desire for new meetings is a difficult task, but quite solvable. Much depends on you.
General rules of conduct
During the first date, many girls are nervous and often do not know how to behave correctly on the first date with a guy. Because of this, they act unnaturally and make a lot of mistakes, for which they later blush. As a result, the relationship ends before it even begins.
To avoid such mistakes, act as naturally as possible. Be yourself, there is no need to pretend to be a femme fatale, an experienced seductress, a businesswoman or a cynical bitch.
READ How to ask a beautiful girl out on a date and not get rejected
You have already somehow hooked a young man if he invited you to a romantic meeting, so try to show your strengths from the best side, but do not engage in self-promotion and do not talk about former fans. But you shouldn’t humiliate your positive qualities either. Try to keep it simple, but with dignity. A guy will appreciate such a girl correctly.
Remember: the advice of friends, mother or psychologist, of course, is useful when dating the man you like, but sometimes a woman’s intuition will better tell you how to act. Rely on her and you will succeed!
First date with a man: advice from a psychologist
The first impression will play a huge role in the development of subsequent relationships. Therefore, before going on a date, you need to have a positive attitude and try to please your chosen one not only externally, although this is very important, but also internally, to be an interesting conversationalist and a confident person.
There is no need to be afraid of everything and try to please your chosen one in everything; as a rule, such behavior has a negative effect. Remember! A man likes to be a conqueror and a hunter.
Relax, imagine all possible options for developing your date. Mentally prepare for the fact that your second meeting may not happen. Try to behave naturally and relaxed. After all, body language and gestures are the most powerful weapons in a woman’s hands. But only its correct use can defeat and forever bind a man captivated by your beauty to you.
Selecting a location
Inviting a girl to go somewhere on a date is the prerogative of a young man. It is he who decides where to best spend time. But a well-mannered young man will definitely ask his girlfriend where she would like to go.
Try to be more modest and do not offer an expensive, pretentious place. You don’t know the man’s financial situation; in addition, he may decide that you want to test his generosity or, at his expense, get into an elite establishment that you cannot afford.
Offer a small cozy cafe or a walk to beautiful places. Food and drink should not be the goal of a romantic date; lovers should be interested in communicating and learning as much as possible about each other. In this case, a joint walk will be very useful.
Never agree to hold the first meeting at a young man’s home, because you don’t know each other well and have no idea what awaits you. Let the date take place in a public place where there are a lot of people.
Believe in yourself
This rule should become an axiom for you. Self-love, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are the main components of your future success. And not just on the first date. These qualities form your inner core of a person who is sustainable in life. And they are the basis of your charisma and attractiveness. If you are the lucky owner of this magnificent combination, feel free to set a date. The date will be successful!
In conclusion, I would like to say: read articles, study trends, ask for advice, look for information. But first of all, listen to yourself! Your heart, your intuition will never let you down.
Be simple, real, sincere, ask, smile, believe in yourself!
What's best for a girl to wear on a first date?
No wonder they say that a man loves with his eyes. The appearance of a young lady is very important, but for the sake of a good impression, you should not break your established image. Some girls wear jeans and sneakers, others wear business suits, many have their own style. The young lady will feel comfortable in her favorite clothes. Of course, all things must be clean and tidy. There is no need to console yourself with thoughts that a man will not see a stain or hole. Representatives of the stronger sex notice everything and immediately draw conclusions. Usually they do not forgive women for untidiness and promiscuity.
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While trying not to disrupt your usual style, you need to make sure that there are no errors in your clothes.
Don't forget about what should not happen on a romantic date:
- the smell of sweat from an unwashed body;
- greasy hair strands;
- peeling nail polish;
- unbrushed teeth, etc.
Try to be as natural as possible, but remember that sometimes simplicity is worse than theft. The main thing is that the man does not decide that from the first minutes of meeting him he understood absolutely everything about you. The woman is beautiful in her mystery.
Preliminary preparation
How to get a guy to like you on the first date? To make a positive impression, you should prepare for the date in advance. For your first meeting, you should wear a beautiful but simple dress. No need to wear your best clothes. Shoes should be comfortable. Low heels or sneakers, preferably white, will do. You can do nude makeup. You shouldn't wear red lipstick on a first date. Clothing and cosmetics should highlight your assets, but not look overtly sexual. Decent feminine clothes can intrigue a guy much more than revealing ones.
A thick noodle dress is ideal for a winter meeting. You shouldn't sacrifice your comfort by dressing too lightly. You should wear tights that match the color of the dress. In addition, you should wear an elegant sweater.
You should think through the answers to the man’s possible questions in advance. A girl should not consider the man who invited her as a potential future husband. First of all, it is important to remember your dignity and not allow established boundaries to be violated, otherwise later they may be much more difficult to restore.
You also need to figure out what you will talk about. Don't discuss your past or current life too much. It is better to opt for neutral topics. In addition, it will be useful to take an interest in your partner’s life during the conversation.
Makeup and accessories
There is no need to put on your face the war paint of an Indian going out on the warpath for the scalps of white-faced people. Too bright makeup does not attract the opposite sex. A thick layer of foundation and tons of lipstick do not make you want to touch your lips to your face. Half a bottle of perfume poured on your head does not intoxicate you with its aroma, but, on the contrary, creates a desire to move away.
READ How to behave on a first date with a girl: advice from psychologists
Makeup should be light and highlight all your assets. As fashion trendsetters say, the best makeup is the one that is not noticeable on the face.
The same goes for accessories. It is not at all necessary to hang a lot of expensive jewelry or cheap sparkling jewelry on yourself. A girl hung with trinkets resembles a Christmas tree and evokes an unpleasant feeling. A man who meets a young lady decorated in every possible way decides that she is ready to do anything to attract his attention, so he behaves accordingly.
An invitation to meet and spend time together
A girl's first date is always a very important event, for which she prepares with special care. Fear, excitement, uncertainty - all these feelings do not leave, especially if you like the guy very much. I want to make an impact, be liked and get an offer for at least a second date.
Psychologists advise first of all to try to calm down. Of course, this is unlikely to succeed, but it’s worth a try. No man will be delighted with a woman whose right eye twitches from a nervous tic, and whose face never leaves a stupid smile.
Is it possible to kiss on the first date?
Thinking about how to behave on a first date with the man they like, girls often wonder whether it is possible to kiss after such a short acquaintance.
Mothers always instruct their young daughters that a young man should never be allowed liberties. Usually young ladies forget their mother's instructions as soon as they meet an attractive guy.
With age comes experience and knowledge. The girl will no longer rush into kissing, since she will be preoccupied with other issues.
True, when saying goodbye, young people, even the most modest ones, try to kiss their companion on the cheek. If the girl does not allow the guy to do this, he may decide that she did not like her and will stop further communication, so a light kiss goodbye is quite acceptable.
What should I say
What should you talk about with guys? It makes sense to ask about what he does in life, how he sees his future in a few years, what he is interested in, how he spends his leisure time. You should not ask directly about salary, so as not to spoil the first impression. Much more important is a man’s attitude towards his work. You should choose passionate and purposeful guys who are ready to take responsibility for their lives. It would be ideal if the guy is the first to start talking about the future.
It is worth understanding that at different ages the criteria for choosing a man are different. If it is considered normal for a student to accept help from his parents, then an adult man who has not moved away from his mother can hardly be considered as a worthy candidate for the role of a future husband.
How to interest a guy? You need to understand what a man is interested in and what he likes to do in his free time from work. It's good if there are common interests that can be discussed. You should not communicate on a topic that you do not like. It’s better to say directly that talking about this is unpleasant.
What should you not talk about? There is no need to focus on topics of family, politics, religion at the first meetings. It is better to discuss these topics with men while in a long-term relationship. It's better to pay attention to your dreams and goals. Such a conversation will allow the man to open up, and the woman to evaluate whether he is suitable for her in a relationship.
Intimate question
Many people believe that sex at the first meeting is impossible. But if you hint to a young man that your relationship may move to the next level on the second or third date, then he may misunderstand you. In our relaxed times, many people laugh and refuse such rules and consider them something old-fashioned.
However, if you want to continue getting to know this person, then do not rush into bed with him. Remember that men are hunters and conquerors, they do not like game that falls into their hands, they like to conquer the girl.
Of course, there are no rules without exceptions. Sex on the first date is possible if:
- you have known a young man for a long time, but now your relationship is moving to a new level;
- you are confident in this person, you know that he takes you very seriously and will not talk about your intimate relationship to strangers;
- you only need sex and that’s why you went on a date;
- at the first meeting you cannot cope with passion.
But you shouldn’t go home to a man you don’t know, and you shouldn’t bring him to your place either. Of course, you should definitely think about personal protective equipment, because the consequences of such a spontaneous night of love may not be the most pleasant.
Relationship with a married man
If a married man asks you out on a date, refuse. You should not believe his words about a bad relationship with his wife and an impending divorce. Statistics prove that men who say such words rarely actually leave the family. There is a great risk of remaining in the role of a mistress.
A relationship with a married man is also undesirable for your self-esteem. Constant competition with his wife will not bring anything good, even if the man leaves the family. Statistics prove that second and subsequent marriages are destroyed more often than first ones, so there is a high probability that the man will leave you later.
In addition, attempts to win over a married man take up a lot of time, during which time one could meet a worthy partner. Take a break from falling in love with a married man, do something pleasant, have a bachelorette party or organize any other leisure activity that charges you with positive emotions. Women who are passionate about their business are more likely to meet worthy gentlemen.
Ending a date properly
You should not artificially delay the date. You shouldn’t cling to a man and waste time waiting for a second meeting to be scheduled. Let there remain a slight understatement between you, which will definitely make you look for new dates.
Let the young man walk you to the entrance or apartment, but there is no need to invite him for a cup of coffee with a continuation.
Don't run home too quickly and don't disappoint your boyfriend. Do not forget to thank him for a pleasant evening, but do not hint too persistently about continuing your acquaintance.
By the way, if a young man does not want to accompany his girlfriend home, this already clearly indicates his upbringing and attitude towards the girl. Usually this is what disappointed young people do, who consider themselves to have been deceived in some way. It is hardly worth continuing to meet such a person.
Communication process3
Girls should accept and understand the fact that in most cases it is the man who will try to lead the conversation, select some topics and try to evoke a response from the girl. But it’s also worth understanding that you don’t need to shift this responsibility entirely onto the young man.
You can let him start a conversation - this way he will show his masculine initiative and will be satisfied. And after that, actively join the conversation and do not hesitate to independently propose some topics and engage the man in communication. Although you should be careful with this.
Film "Mixed"
Among men there are those who plan the dialogue in advance, and if something does not go according to this plan, they will be embarrassed and find themselves in an unpleasant position. Therefore, you should carefully monitor their reaction to the fact that the girl herself takes the initiative in the conversation.
As for topics, a girl is required to have considerable knowledge in many areas of life in order for her to be able to carry on a conversation with a man. The peculiarity of modern guys is that they know a lot about a variety of things, but this knowledge is largely superficial. Although with a high probability they will watch some popular films, TV series, and play various video games.
If a girl doesn’t do this herself, then she should at least get acquainted with these things. Yes, it may be unpleasant for her to talk about some game, especially if she herself is not passionate about it. But you shouldn’t state this directly, but rather gently hint to the man that this is not very interesting for her.
Special attention should be paid to questions. Men will ask them. And a lot. The girl’s task is to answer them as fully as possible and in this way show the level of knowledge of the subject or area and at the same time her interest in the conversation. It would be nice if the woman herself showed interest in the man and asked him some questions. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and their achievements, guys are no exception in this regard.
Film "Blind Date"
In this regard, you should exercise attention and caution, avoiding sensitive, unpleasant and potentially personal topics. For example, about relatives, about former partners, about some preferences in relationships. Men often don’t want to talk about all this. It is best to ask something on the topic of communication or something neutral. If a girl really wants to know something personal from a guy, then she can offer him a kind of “exchange” of personal secrets. The guy will tell her what interests her, and she will answer frankly any question the guy has.
How to behave after a date
If the young man does not ask for your phone number at parting and does not seek to make a new meeting, do not make a sour face. Try to end the date on a pleasant note. Don't let him think that you are disappointed by his coldness.
If you have his phone number, you shouldn’t call him in the morning and compliment him about last night. He will consider you intrusive and will be seriously disappointed.
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Wait for his call, and if he doesn’t come, then try to “accidentally” meet him and make an impression. Maybe he'll decide he needs to try again.
If nothing works out, there is no need to be too upset. It's possible that you haven't met your man yet.
Self respect
Many girls don't love or respect themselves. However, you can’t say the same about them. Even they themselves are not aware of such a shortcoming in themselves. But in vain - it is precisely the fact that they do not value themselves enough that pushes people away from them and interferes with comfortable communication. Also, self-disrespect can backfire after the start of a relationship, so the foundation of this incredibly useful and necessary quality needs to be laid as early as possible.
Lack of self-esteem manifests itself in several things that can be attributed to dating. The first is that girls “hang themselves” on guys they like. Secondly, they allow themselves to be manipulated. Third, they are constantly “depressed” and force guys to entertain them. Fourth, they are careless about their appearance.
So what's the connection? First, girls “hang themselves” on attractive partners, pay a lot of attention to them, and with all their appearance show that they have the warmest and strongest feelings for them. Love? Maybe. The guy refused, how to behave? Guys don't like it. They do not consider it necessary to pursue those girls who themselves fall into their hands.
This discourages them from any interest in communication and courtship. Secondly, due to the fact that girls do not have their own opinion, do not respect themselves, they consider it acceptable for themselves to obey a man and follow his lead. During a conversation, a guy may notice that the girl is quite compliant, soft and pliable, and he can use this for personal purposes that are not the most pleasant for the girl. A good example is girls who don’t know how to refuse.
Further, many girls are so insecure and do not value themselves so much that they unconsciously (and maybe quite consciously) evoke pity from everyone around them. At first, a guy may find this “light sadness” cute and he will really be happy to try to cheer up the girl. To some extent, this is even a useful strategy for making acquaintances.
Film "More than sex"
But if he fails to make her smile once, twice, three times... Then he will simply leave this hopeless depressed girl alone with her problems. And with appearance, everything is clear - a girl who does not respect herself will not be attentive enough to her main weapon - beauty.
Common mistakes
If you like a young man and want to continue your relationship with him, then try to avoid typical mistakes that will lead to the fact that there will be no second date with this person:
- Don't talk too much, especially about yourself. Men also love to talk, try to become an attentive listener, this will impress him.
- Don’t show your curiosity, if a guy avoids certain topics, don’t insist, don’t try to find out all his ins and outs. Let your companion choose topics for conversation.
- Try to act as natural as possible. Of course, some shyness on the first date is normal, but loud laughter or the sight of an ice statue will not attract anyone.
- Defiant behavior repels men. They do not like excessively bright makeup, provocative clothing, long bright nails - all this is associated by the stronger sex with women of the oldest profession.
- Don't talk about your problems, don't complain about life, relatives, colleagues, arrogant boss and annoying mother. Usually a person does not strive to solve other people's problems from the very beginning of acquaintance.
- Don’t try to trick the young man into giving him gifts or an expensive meal at a restaurant. He will decide that you are a mercantile person, and even oligarchs run away from such people.
- Don’t talk about your plans for life, or that you dream of starting a family, having three children, buying a car and an apartment. Men are hunters by nature, but they don’t want to be game.
- Don't try to show yourself as grumpy and dissatisfied with everything. Please note that men prefer girls who are flexible and know how to enjoy life.
- Don't make the next date, leave that prerogative to the man.
By reading and analyzing how to accurately behave on a date with a man, you can get rid of many mistakes for which you will be ashamed later. When a nice young man doesn’t call you back after a meeting, don’t be upset, it means you haven’t met your destiny yet. Perhaps she is already waiting for you somewhere around the corner, try not to make similar mistakes in the future.
So that the first does not become the only
The first date with a man will not be the last if, when going to the meeting, you follow the following rules:
- We give preference to decent clothes. You will demonstrate extravagance later;
- Don't forget about light makeup and a pleasant aroma. A little cosmetics won’t hurt even those who are used to looking natural;
- We accept signs of attention with dignity. If there are none, tactfully push your companion to action. Ask to move a chair, pause in front of a closed door;
- We avoid both empty and too serious questions. If the conversation isn't going well, don't talk about the weather. Perhaps you just made the wrong choice;
- We don't bother you with problems. A first date with a cute guy is not the place to decide important issues;
- not a word about exes. Talking about past loves, memories of husbands and admirers can cause irritation and annoyance. Live for today, forgetting about the past for a while;
- We’re not talking about children and beloved pets. It is possible that a man does not yet think about children and is not moved by the sight of a charming cat;
- We show feminine weakness. We do not demonstrate physical strength, strong-willed character and skills of a successful business lady. On the first date, the man should play this role.
Of course, the first impression can be deceiving, but it is better for it to be pleasant. Then there will be a chance to understand everything in more detail.
How to behave with a man on a first date is a whole science. To master it means you are guaranteed to achieve your goal. Life is not a movie, and there are no multiple takes in it, therefore, there is no room for error. The main thing is to believe: the first date did not live up to expectations - there will be another one that will definitely make you happy.
Useful video:
Should you kiss and when?
Kissing on the first date is an individual decision; people approach it differently. Contrary to popular belief about a girl's availability, a kiss does not actually confirm this fact.
If a man adheres to old concepts, then it is better not to kiss on the first date. To find out the answer, you need to ask directly. If there was no kiss on the first date, this can be corrected at the second or third meeting; there is no point in delaying the expression of feelings longer: the guy will consider the sympathy friendly and may lose interest.
What to talk about and which topics should be avoided?
There is no need to tell your biography in detail, a couple of general phrases are enough. Smile, joke, behave naturally. You cannot deceive your interlocutor, the truth will be revealed.
At the first meeting it is not recommended to discuss:
- finance;
- intimate;
- past relationships;
- model of the future family;
- shopping;
- everyday problems.
There is no need to conduct an interrogation, it is better to wait for the partner’s interest in the companion.
Suitable topics for conversation at the first meeting:
- movies;
- hobbies;
- life stories;
- literature;
- food;
- animals.
It is acceptable to talk about family members and work without touching on the topic of income. It’s interesting to discuss the past day and tomorrow’s plans. It is advisable to praise the guy’s taste and say that the meeting place is cozy and beautiful.
