Don't wait in vain: 11 signs that your ex doesn't want to come back

Why doesn't the ex-husband want to communicate with his ex-wife and children? Is it possible to improve relations with your ex-husband, and is it worth doing it at all?

Let's try to answer questions that are relevant to many people in more detail.

Do you need communication with your ex-husband?

My first husband and I remain good friends and there is no reason why I shouldn't see him.
Vivien Leigh

• 1. Breakup
• 2. Why doesn’t the ex-husband want to communicate and leaves the family?
• 3.Burnt bridges
• 4.Video: How to communicate with an ex-man
• 5. “Former” dad
• 6. Responsibility for actions
• 7.Conclusion

• Nice words to your beloved man in your own words in prose
• 50+ cute and affectionate names for your girlfriend
• How to stop being nervous when communicating?
• Do you need communication with your ex-husband?
• 50+ Affectionate and Unusual names for your beloved guy

A break up

Quite rarely, divorce occurs in a civilized environment, without reproaches, tears or scandals.
In addition, not every person is able to calmly accept sudden changes in their personal life. Resentment, pain, fear of the future - these are a small part of the emotions that a woman experiences during a divorce. But, paradoxically, some ladies try to maintain friendly relations with their ex-husband. Why doesn't he want to see me? This question keeps even the most persistent women up at night.

In some cases, calm communication between people is not only possible, but also necessary. For example, if they intersect at work or have children together. In other situations, “exes” choose not to meet again because they don’t see any point in it.

The examples we described have a positive outcome, since the ex-spouses were able to come to an agreement and feel calm. However, there are cases when a woman wants to continue communication, and the man does his best to prevent her intentions.

If you are interested in the question of why your ex-husband does not want to communicate, then you should immediately understand yourself.

If a man began to ignore him after

Relationships often develop according to the usual scenario. At first, the guy showed interest in his chosen one and conquered her. Gradually, the partners began to get used to each other, and conflicts began to arise between them.

When there are too many complaints against each other, one partner may begin not to notice the other. Sometimes a man openly and demonstratively ignores his chosen one. By doing this, he is trying to show indifference and provide an opportunity to think about his behavior.

If nothing is done, everything may end in separation. Before this happens, it is better to understand the situation. Realize that a man also has the right to express feelings. He may be offended by your actions or words.

Put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes and look at the situation through his eyes. Maybe you were somehow incorrect towards your loved one? Sometimes a guy just doesn't show that he's offended. Not everyone is ready to show weakness. It is much easier to show indifference by giving your partner the opportunity to think about her behavior.

Why does my husband show indifference?

If a man and woman are married, they also often begin to demonstrate indifference to each other. It is difficult to understand whether a man can simultaneously love and ignore what causes his coldness. Psychologists identify several reasons for this behavior on the part of the spouse:

1. Resentment towards wife. If your husband ignores you, think about whether there was any misconduct on your part that upset him. When there really is a reason to be offended, it is better to wait for time. The husband must figure out how to behave further. Perhaps he will decide that nothing bad happened and will begin to treat you the same again. When the emotions subside, you can calmly explain yourself and ask for forgiveness.
2. Punishment. By inattention, your husband may be intentionally punishing you for an action you have committed, or he may be showing coldness in response to similar behavior on your part. What to do if a husband ignores and does not want to communicate is not clear to every woman. You need to find out why your partner decided to punish you. Perhaps he simply couldn’t convey his thoughts to you in a different way. This is not the most correct method, because demonstrative indifference can make the situation even more confusing.
3. The desire to separate. Men rarely decide to end a relationship on their own. They try to provoke separation by behavior, not wanting to directly state their decision. Such behavior cannot be called worthy. But ignoring is one of the most gentle options for mental influence. There are harsher methods - demonstrative flirting with other girls, cheating and even beatings.

Not everyone can immediately understand how to behave if the man they love ignores you. Try talking. A worthy man will try to explain his position to a woman. And the one who avoids talking may not deserve attention himself.

Why does my ex-husband not want to communicate and leaves the family?

You can talk for hours about the problems and psychological disorders that influenced the breakup.
But the problem is always the same: both parties are always to blame for a breakup. Often, you marry one person and end up with someone completely different. Everyone is consumed by routine, no one wants to work on relationships, talk about problems, hoping that they will be solved on their own. The woman thinks that my husband will not leave me because I gave birth to his child. But children have never kept and will never keep a man in marriage.

The consequences of breaking such a relationship between a man and a woman:

• After leaving the family, a man does not communicate with his ex-wife, but maintains contact with the child, for example through his parents. Thus, the man avoids responsibility to his ex-wife. He is afraid to look her in the eyes, admit his mistakes, talk about new relationships, and so on.
• When leaving, the man stops maintaining contact with his children and ex-wife. Such problems are very often dealt with in court, since leaving the family does not relieve a man of responsibility for children. He is obliged to support and educate them.

Ignoring is a sign of sympathy: how to understand that a man avoiding you is in love

Sometimes the behavior of men can truly confuse women: today he talks cheerfully and affectionately, and tomorrow he passes by.
How to react to male ignoring, and can it be a sign of sympathy? Relationships between a man and a woman are most often very unpredictable, they have their ups and downs. Sometimes, for some reason, male representatives begin to treat a woman indifferently, ignore her words, and pass by without noticing. Most ladies find it difficult to understand what could be causing such a man’s behavior.

Ignoring: what could it be a sign of?

You can avoid a person for various reasons. In order to determine the true emotions and feelings that lie behind the ignoring, you need to analyze the general history of relationships between people. As a rule, the following emotions are hidden behind the apparent indifference of a man.

Fear. An ignoring man may be afraid that the woman is expecting something special from him. For example, a work colleague constantly showed signs of attention to a happily married man who was afraid of her sympathy. It is quite expected that he will be afraid to communicate with the lady, worrying that she will interpret his emotions completely wrong.

Dislike. Quite often, men ignore women because of the unpleasant emotions they evoke in them. Then on the face of a representative of the opposite sex you can read not only indifference, but also hostility, especially if this emotion is too strong.

Indifference. Sometimes it may turn out that a person deliberately avoids communication, but there is nothing terrible behind this. We often tend to second-guess and interpret the actions of others in our own way. It is likely that the man simply feels sincere indifference to the woman and therefore ignores her.

Love. In certain situations, behind a mask of indifference, a man can hide his sincere feelings for a woman. Then ignoring is just a desire to hide your true emotions and intentions.

Ignoring as a sign of sympathy

Sometimes a man’s outward indifference can hide sincere love. In order to understand whether this is true or not, you need to pay attention to your previous experience of communicating with this man, the characteristics of your and his lifestyle.

Sometimes a man begins to ignore a woman because she does not agree to develop further relationships. For example, he could subtly hint at a date or his feelings, but the woman did not reciprocate, did not say what he expected. Most men in such a situation keep silent about their emotions, catching the woman’s reluctance to build love. This is a completely normal reaction of a rejected person who prefers to leave when he is not welcome.

In some cases, a male representative may be disposed towards a woman and receive pleasant emotions from communicating with her. However, at the same time, there is no desire to continue their communication in a more serious manner. Under such circumstances, a woman usually wants to communicate with a man a little more than he wants to communicate with her, and expects some kind of romantic initiative from him. The gentleman, in turn, is not serious enough and prefers to avoid their communication.

Ignoring can also be an effective tool in attracting the attention of a person of the opposite sex. For example, if in a group of friends everyone jokes and chats cheerfully with a woman, with the exception of one man who very feignedly remains silent, there is a high probability that he simply wants to direct the interest of this pretty person in his direction.

How to expose a man?

There are several effective ways to help bring an avoidant man to clean water. To begin with, you can ask mutual friends about how he treats a woman. It is likely that he shared his feelings with someone, commented on some actions of the woman he liked.

You can also try to start a conversation with him, but this should be done as casually and casually as possible. You should not show that the reason for your interest was his alienation; it is better to pretend that your communication is simply a non-binding dialogue. Sometimes it is in such a situation that a man begins to show his true feelings, especially regarding his resentment or dissatisfaction.

It is very rare that men ignore women just like that; usually there are some strong emotions hidden behind this. Have you ever encountered such male tactics? Leave your comments and don't forget to click on the buttons and

Our Yandex.Zen channel always has the most interesting articles on this topic. Be sure to subscribe!

Burnt Bridges

Divorce happens for many reasons.
In some families it is caused by infidelity, in others by money issues, in others by alcohol, and so on. So why do you want to continue communicating with a person who did not value you and your feelings? Perhaps you voice the following reasons to others:

• High relationships
  - you believe that civilized people should save face even after a breakup. Then remember that such an outcome is only possible if both partners have the same intentions. If a man has no thoughts about further cooperation, then his opinion should be respected.
• The desire to take care of your ex-husband
  - you think that he needs your help, since he is completely helpless in the face of everyday difficulties. In such cases, the behavior of the ex-husband is understandable - he is trying to protect himself from the control of a woman who is completely alien to him.
• Beneficial friendship
  - you are sure that a good relationship can bring you some bonuses over time. For example, solve financial difficulties or advance your career. If your intentions are obvious to your ex-husband, he may feel that he is being used. Don't be surprised if he immediately disappears from sight and stops answering calls.
• Household issues
  – does your home constantly have accidents or is it in need of minor repairs? When a handyman lives nearby for many years in a row, a woman gets used to not noticing current problems. Therefore, out of habit, she turns to her ex-husband for help. If your ex-spouse has a new passion, then he is unlikely to care about your problems. To avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary insults, it is better to call a paid specialist from the relevant organization to your home.

Do not forget that a man can avoid communicating with his ex-wife if she seeks to get him back and comes up with new ways of manipulation. In this case, he tries to minimize communication and break all ties in one fell swoop.

Embarrassment 2

It happens that a man may simply be embarrassed to be in the company of his ex-girlfriend, which is why he will look away when talking to her. This often happens in cases where the guy was initially shy, timid and not very self-confident.

It may even seem cute and attract the girl who left him, since it will be clear that he still likes her. Although the fact that he is shy in her company does not mean that he has any feelings. He can do this for completely different reasons, which are almost impossible to guess if you don’t know about it in advance.

Embarrassment can also be caused by the fact that the guy simply does not know how to behave. Inexperience plays a huge role in what he will do and how he will speak. And if your ex doesn’t look you in the eye, then he most likely just doesn’t know what to do if you find yourself in the company of your ex-partner.

At the same time, he may not have any negative emotions; he may be perfectly aware that the relationship has ended and there is no need to insist on continuation. But he will continue to hide his eyes due to not knowing what else he needs to do. To justify such people, we can say that there are really few people who truly know how to behave correctly around their former partners.

Another reason for embarrassment may be the provocative behavior of his ex-girlfriend or her friends. They can make fun of him, even in a friendly tone, but it will still hurt the person. Or the girl will behave as if nothing happened, and this will unsettle the man.

He will simply become confused, embarrassed, and, again, his possible inexperience in communicating with those with whom he broke up will play a role. And for those who are more confident after a relationship, it would be extremely tactless to tease and joke about someone who has been dumped.

"Ex" dad

It’s sad to look at families where children become hostages of their squabbling parents.
They hide behind their name, solving personal problems, and extort money or attention from each other. The question of why my ex-husband stopped communicating with me fades into the background. But still, think about how this behavior affects the youngest members of the family and whether it is worth continuing the war, requiring the husband to regularly communicate with his daughter or son. So, what reasons might a dad have for stopping meeting with his children:

• Feelings of guilt
  - insecure men are often ashamed of their unpleasant actions and prefer to see their child as little as possible after a divorce. This problem can be solved if you call your partner for a frank conversation and convince him that separation cannot become an obstacle to the love of a father with his son or daughter.
• Transferring a bad relationship from an ex-wife to a child
  is a rather difficult problem to solve, and therefore a lot of effort will have to be made to restore friendly relations.
• New family
  - if a new girlfriend demands that a man stop communicating with the child, then there is nothing you can do. The only one who can influence the situation is your “ex”.
• The desire to start life over with a new leaf
  - a professional psychologist who specializes in working with families can help in this situation. However, if the child’s father does not agree to make contact, then you are unlikely to be able to change the situation.

Communication with a son or daughter is very important for an adequate person, even if he does not yet realize it.
Subsequently, he will highly appreciate your tact, restraint and invaluable assistance in this delicate matter. If a man does not respond to all attempts to establish his connection with the children, then back down. Try to survive this situation and do not involve your child in its solution.

Children perfectly sense their mother’s mood, and it depends only on her how they will perceive the current state of affairs. Therefore, you should not discuss the negative qualities of the father in front of the child, complain about his indifference and feel sorry for yourself.

Most marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little. Kurt Goetz

Women's mistakes in behavior as a reason for indifference

Often the reason for a man’s cold attitude towards a girl lies in her behavior. She herself pushes her partner away, although, as she herself believes, she does nothing wrong. Here's what scares guys off in women's behavior:

1. You constantly demonstrate that you are dependent on the man you love. This is not how you do things in mature relationships. A man is a hunter by nature. When the “prey” is ready to fall into his hands, he loses interest.
2. You are showing that you are taking things too seriously. Guys are often in no hurry to propose or move on to a serious stage in the relationship. Even if he likes a girl, a young man may not be ready to change his life right away; just the thought of it can frighten him.
3. You are overly emotional, often provoke conflicts, throw tantrums. Men usually want peace in relationships. They try to protect themselves from aggression from their loved one and begin to demonstrate indifference.
4. You don't do anything to "spice up" a long-term relationship. Not every guy is ready to take responsibility for an affair that has become a routine. Men want drive, games, and if their partner doesn’t give it, coldness creeps into the relationship.

It is not always the girl herself who is to blame for an indifferent attitude on the part of a guy. Perhaps he is too busy solving the problems facing him, and there is no time for love yet. Try to talk unobtrusively and find out what's going on.

Responsibility for actions

Men who avoid responsibility either have problems with alcohol and drugs, or have new relationships in which the woman forbids the man to fulfill his fatherly duty and see his son and daughter.
In such cases, the right option for the wife would be to file a lawsuit and generally prohibit the man from seeing his son. Very often this technique works and men return to the family, realizing what they had and almost lost. All situations that arise in the family should not be kept silent. Be sure to talk through problems and look for solutions together. It is worth remembering that relationships are hard work on both sides. Be friends and lovers. Be interested in each other's hobbies and passions. Do not hesitate to contact family psychologists. Psychological practice shows that 80% of couples who turned to professional help avoided divorce.

Ways to attract a man's attention

What to do if a nice guy starts acting cold and distant towards you? To understand why a man suddenly ignores the woman he likes and choose the right tactics, calm down.

This will help you understand the reason for his actions, and then develop the right strategy of behavior:

1. Perhaps the man is not in love with you at all, and you have not understood his attitude. This may be in a situation where the guy has a girlfriend, or his feelings have cooled down. Just suck it up and turn your attention to something else. Visit interesting places, meet new people. Even if he is dear to you, back off. Let the communication between you be unobtrusive and without hints of something more.
2. If ignorance and indifference on the part of a man are due to the fact that he is afraid of rejection, take a step forward. Let your loved one see that there is no need to be afraid, because you like him too.
3. If a man has become indifferent because he has lost interest in you, do not respond in kind and do not try to demonstratively ask about feelings. In this situation, it is better to communicate on a friendly note.
4. If a young man is trying to win you over by ignoring you, think about whether you really need him. For him now you are a “pawn” to whom he applies pickup methods and tries to provoke a certain behavior. That's why you shouldn't constantly look for meetings and call a guy. Better show composure too. Most likely, the man will give up and show the true motives of his behavior.
5. There are situations when a guy is in no hurry to start new romances because of painful relationships in the past. If he can't come to his senses after being rejected by his ex, gently talk about his feelings. Tell him that you are not indifferent to him and do not intend to hurt him.

The main conditions for a girl to start getting bored after a breakup

But first you need to understand in what cases the girl will definitely miss you even after you broke up. Yes, there are situations when ladies seriously try to forget past relationships like a bad dream, but most often they will still miss you and express their feelings in different ways, which we will talk about later.

So, a girl will be bored 100% of the time if:

1. The relationship was beautiful. When there is something to remember from a past life, this is a great reason to be sad in the evening over a cup of tea, leafing through old photographs in an album;
2. There was no deception in the relationship. A lie can completely erase all the good things that happened in a short period of your life called “Love”;
3. You had many common interests. It’s one thing when dizzying love blows your mind and you can’t spend a day without each other, and quite another when your time is diluted by some common affairs that are interesting to both of you. For example, hiking, skiing, fishing, and so on;
4. When you parted, you didn’t have a massive outburst of negativity, either on her part or on yours. Bad emotions can become an insurmountable wall between good memories and the girl’s current state today.

Whatever led to the separation, this is also one of the stages of a relationship, and it must be completed correctly. This is a kind of ritual that allows you to leave each other with your thoughts, emotions and memories in the most calm state of mind. In the case when you did everything right and during the breakup did not tell your ex-lover everything that you think about her, she will miss you, you can be sure of it, the question is different - when?

Should I try to establish communication with my ex-spouse? Psychologist's advice

So, the divorce is over. But, at the same time, you have children, a common business that cannot be divided even if you wish. How to behave in such a situation? Advice from professional psychologists will help you maintain, if not good, then neutral relationships after a breakup.

Time-out

“Amicable” divorce is very rare. Unfortunately, usually one cannot do without breaking dishes, constant scandals, mutual accusations, attempts to win children over to one’s side and other “charms” of this difficult period.

The first desire in such a situation is to never meet the one who became the ex again. Sooner or later, passions will undoubtedly subside, but at first it is better not to force yourself.

If you don't want to meet, you don't need to. Emotional recovery also takes time. This way, you take a kind of time out to take the next steps, consciously and intelligently, without unnecessary emotions. This is especially true for families with children. One way or another, communication between spouses will continue.

Where to start communication?

From a constructive conversation.
Practice shows that this is the most difficult moment. The resentment still makes itself felt, and the attempt at civilized communication ends in nothing. Virtual conversations help: messaging via email, Skype or ICQ .

You cannot throw accusations in the face of your opponent; you have the opportunity not just to write a text, but to think about it and, if necessary, edit it.

The most unpleasant information in text form looks more restrained. Only after you are mentally ready to move on to “real” communication, arrange a meeting.

Relationships are neutral-business

According to psychologists, this is the best option for ex-spouses. Don't try to establish "friendship", you have other tasks.

Much more reasonable is the format of “peaceful coexistence”, in which the child will be at least relatively comfortable . Leave in the past all the good and bad that happened between you. Divorce does not mean that a child should be deprived of one of his parents and other relatives.

Look at the situation in such a way that the “ex” is your business partner, who for some reason “framed” you. You haven’t stopped collaborating, so you need to abstract yourself from the past. Naturally, having drawn conclusions.

You cannot manipulate a child!

Under no circumstances should you turn a child into an instrument of revenge or turn him against the “ex” and his relatives. Divorce of parents is already a great stress for a child, and there is no need to aggravate a situation that is already difficult.

It is best to try to explain that it was the parents who had the problems, and the attitude towards the baby on neither side has changed in any way.

How to react?

Having understood the reasons for ignoring a partner and having analyzed the future prospects of a relationship with him, each person makes a definite decision .

It is advisable to fight ignorance only if the object of manipulation not only sincerely wants to renew the relationship, but is also ready to deal with similar manifestations in the future.

When a relationship seems naturally completed, trying to establish contact is a futile exercise. Objective reasons for separation are unlikely to disappear, but they will not cease to regularly cause discomfort in the future.