Ignoring is a method of psychological influence: reasons, signs

Essence and concept

The essence of ignoring is to limit communication with certain individuals in order to achieve a goal. This could be detachment from a person due to personal hostility, a desire to attract attention by showing one’s own independence and place, or psychological violence.

Reasons for ignoring in psychology:

Children's problems. For example, when a child has questions of interest or worries, he tries to speak out to his relatives, but they do not pay attention to him. Therefore, he begins to keep his thoughts silent and avoid contacts.
The desire to rise above others. People who want to rise above others are often ignored. They have inflated self-esteem, which does not allow them to recognize the presence of another person.
Envy. Many individuals ignore people they envy. Over time, negative feelings begin to intensify, which leads to the development of problems.
Ignoring can be used as one of the methods of defense behind which errors can be hidden. The individual will avoid associating with certain people so that they do not find out about his involvement in despicable matters.
Loss of interest. Occurs when two or more people communicate. Habits, behavior, and interests gradually change. This leads to a change in the social circle. Old friends become uninteresting, the individual needs to move on. Therefore, he ignores old friends and begins to communicate with other people.
Finding ways to control other individuals. Psychologists call ignoring a psychological manipulation that can be used to influence others.

Another popular reason for ignoring is personal hostility. In this situation, communication ends quickly and forever.

And if she doesn't write

Exes often “ping” their boyfriend, that is, they write to check if there is still any connection between them. They write, without even knowing it, that every ping prompts them to write the next message. For some girls this becomes an obsession. To ensure that emails are sent as infrequently as possible, you should not respond immediately. You need to act correctly, while removing all responsibility for the separation. In many cases, this method helps to get your ex back.

Relevance

Ignoring cannot be clearly called a negative behavioral feature. This is a kind of protective reaction to irritating factors. To better understand this formulation, it is worth considering a life example.

If a son asks his father a question and receives a rude answer, he can ignore the rudeness, which will be better than developing a conflict with an aggressive reaction to his father's behavior. This tactic will only work if rude responses occur frequently and are the norm for one person’s behavior. If such answers have not been heard before, you need to find out the reason for the change in behavior. Problems cannot be ignored. This will lead to their accumulation, development, and dramatic consequences.

Signs

Signs indicating the use of ignore:

The individual tries to interrupt the meeting or looks for reasons for it not to take place. Being close to such an individual, you can notice that he tries to look at his phone more often, and then says that he has new plans.
The conversation starts with the interlocutor, not the one ignoring. This is noticeable in changes in individual behavior. If previously the ignoring person constantly called himself and tried to get in touch, he stops doing this and avoids communication. Therefore, misunderstandings arise, which gradually develop into quarrels and scandals.
Frequent employment, which was not previously observed. The individual begins to frequently use the phrase “I’m busy.” In some situations, employment may be temporary and due to problems. If an individual says that he is busy for a long time, but at the same time communicates calmly with other people, this indicates neglect.
The answers become unambiguous, short, simple. When communicating with an ignoring person, you can notice that he shortens his answers, pretends that he missed the question or did not hear it. This is best seen when communication that could previously last for hours is reduced to a matter of minutes.
Delay in answering questions, greetings. This is especially noticeable when communicating on social networks.

Why should you ignore a man?

With men, for the most part, everything is quite simple. If you chase them, they will run away from you. If you are too obsessive, they disappear.

Perhaps representatives of the stronger sex instinctively seek the thrill that the pursuit of the object of their desires gives them.

If you are too available, then you are not as attractive to a man. Why is it sometimes worth ignoring the man you like a little?

Awaken his hunting instinct

Every man has a hunter's instinct. There is nothing more attractive to them than chasing something they cannot catch or have.

Showing some indifference and making him feel like you are unattainable will increase his desire. It may sound stupid, but we always want most what is not available to us.

Stimulate his ambition

A man longs to feel like a winner and successful in all areas. If you are an unconquered peak for him, you will become the most desirable goal. Despite his powerlessness, the man will hope to conquer you.

Wanting to gain control, he just goes crazy because despite all his efforts, you act like you don't care. Don't think that he will give up and give up on you. Ignoring him will make him try even harder.

3. Help him feel your uniqueness

Often, when a girl likes a man, she tries in every possible way to attract his attention, flirts, catches his every word and strokes his pride.

If you want to win the attention of a man who is used to being showered with female attention, you need to be different from the rest.

Ignoring him will confuse him. Girls who are not interested in him cannot tear themselves away from him, and the one who attracted his attention does not want to know anything about him. This will make him think that there is something special about you.

He will seek your attention

Many men want attention and admiration. Acting like you don't care will make him try harder to get your attention again.

The longer he goes without your attention, the more obsessed he becomes.

Teach him to appreciate you

Some men neglect a woman in a relationship, not paying attention, or always looking to the side. Ignoring him can be a good way to show him what it's like to invalidate someone's feelings.

By cutting yourself off, you'll make him think twice about exactly what you mean to him.

This will also teach him an important lesson. If he can't change and treat you differently, it won't be hard for you to walk away and say goodbye to him.

For the sake of maintaining peaceful relations

Sometimes it pays to ignore a man to keep him in line. Some representatives of the stronger sex like to provoke their lovers, especially if they want to cause certain experiences.

If a man periodically tries to unbalance you, try to ignore his behavior. By refusing to participate in his games, you will eventually stop this behavior and maybe even find a peaceful relationship.

Here are some tips on how to ignore a man correctly.

Response options

Psychologists identify several options for responses to being ignored:

Displaying aggression, attracting attention by any means (including immoral). The stronger the ignore, the more terrible and reckless the actions of the ignored person can be.
Closedness. An individual who has begun to be ignored can temporarily withdraw into himself in order to evaluate his own shortcomings and behavior and identify the reason for the ignorance directed in his direction.
Withdrawal due to emotional abuse. The person does not try to understand himself or the motives of the person ignoring. He begins to castigate himself, blaming himself for everything. Gradually the feelings intensify, depression and apathy develop. This can lead to obsessive suicidal or criminal thoughts.

A productive response to being ignored is the active development of creativity, the search for new acquaintances, broadening one’s horizons, changing one’s place of residence or work. The individual does not withdraw into himself. He perceives being ignored as a signal for drastic changes in life, leaves his old social circle, and begins to move on.

Forms of hidden violence

The most important problem preventing the fight against negligence is its “invisibility”. Even those involved in a situation of hidden violence may not notice it, not to mention outside observers. Psychologists have compiled a list of forms in which neglect can manifest itself:

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emotional neglect - neglect of the psychological needs of a dependent person, his need for respect, communication, etc. (for example, parents ridiculing the romantic experiences of their teenage daughter);

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physical neglect - leaving a dependent person in a situation that is obviously dangerous to life or health (for example, refusing to call an ambulance for a person with signs of a sudden stroke);

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neglect in the educational sphere - preventing a dependent person from receiving general or vocational education (for example, the demand of older relatives that the daughter-in-law leave college immediately after marriage in order to provide everyday services for the family);

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medical negligence - inadequate provision of medical care, medications and care to a person with an acute or chronic illness (for example, a ban on blood transfusion to a child in need because of the religious views of the parents);

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neglect in the field of psychological health
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ignoring the recommendations of specialists (psychologists, psychotherapists, speech pathologists, etc.) on the psychological development or psychocorrection of a dependent person (for example, reproaching a person suffering from clinical depression for “doing nothing” and “laziness”).

Negligence always starts small: I forgot something, misunderstood something, lost my temper a little. Such mistakes are characteristic of any living person - shouldn’t we write everyone down as neglectors for this?

The key point that turns random errors into a systematic phenomenon is responsibility for eliminating their consequences.

For example, if a father with a disability and his adult son are late for a doctor’s appointment due to the latter’s fault, and he immediately undertakes to correct his mistake, spending his own resources on it: he himself negotiates with the doctor about an unscheduled consultation in the near future, pays for it himself, and brings the parent himself to clinic - we can talk about the normal nature of family interaction. Moreover, faced with the need to deal with the results of their own mistakes, people, as a rule, try to prevent their repetition: they leave early, set alarms and reminders on their phones, etc.

Relationships between people, one of whom depends on the other, can be considered destructive when the consequences of neglect - “forgetting” and ignoring - become a problem for the dependent person or third parties.

In this case, the negative scenario can be repeated, getting worse each time: the first time the matter will be late to the doctor, the second - a “mixed up” appointment date, the third - the son will even decide to be “offended” by his father, who complains that the consultation has already been postponed twice, and canceling the trip will be a kind of “punishment for ingratitude.” The burdens associated with treatment not prescribed on time will fall on the patient himself or on the person providing him with constant care (for example, an old mother). This situation already fits the description of medical negligence: it involves systematicity, evasion of responsibility, and infliction of real damage to the victim.

Negligence can successfully masquerade as completely ordinary patterns of behavior. These include, for example, the famous “creative absent-mindedness” of scientists, musicians or writers (even if the public has not yet received a single discovery, album or book from them).

It turns out to be very convenient to hide behind the idea of serving a great cause, so as not to take on the trouble of providing for and raising children, and in general bother with the base life, dumping all responsibilities on the shoulders of spouses or parents.

Another variant of hidden violence is the famous “there are many of you, but I am alone” - the refusal of workers in social institutions to look for options for helping those who need it: patients in the clinic, children in kindergarten, etc. When, under the pretext of emergency employment (and , that there is suddenly time for tea drinking or discussing gossip) the receptionist forces a person on crutches to jump up the stairs to the fourth floor for a certificate or the nanny leaves the baby in clothes soiled with soup - these are also manifestations of negligence, almost imperceptible and, alas, almost habitual.

Protection methods

To protect yourself from the negative consequences of ignoring, you need to:

Analyze your relationship with someone who ignores you. Perhaps a similar trend in communication has always been observed, but only now it was possible to notice the flaws. You can try talking to the person who has started to ignore you.
Communicate calmly. It is important to calm down, discard obsessive thoughts about your own guilt, and find joint solutions to the current situation.
Avoid using child protective mechanisms. There is no point in being offended, taking revenge, or making others guilty. To continue communication, it is important to find the cause of the problem and deal with it.

You also need to pay attention to your reaction to being ignored. If it is negative, with aggression, it is better to reconsider your behavior and change your approach.

Reason to ignore a girl

For an addicted man, breaking the connection with his beloved on his own is torture. To take such a step requires a serious reason. The fact that she behaved vulgarly, made a scandal, or has already left you are only reasons to start ignoring you. You were motivated to act not by the woman’s actions, but by a feeling of despair. This feeling arose at the end of a difficult journey:

After parting, you tried to crawl after her with roses in your teeth, wiping away tears and begging your beloved to stay, but it didn’t work.
I tried to pause and return to her life as an alpha male - the lady laughed in her face. You offered to be friends after the breakup - she found Vasily and you were forgotten.
When ways to get your loved one back in two weeks didn’t work, you went online to look for other options. You offered to be friends after the breakup - she found Vasily and you were forgotten.

So you ended up on the channel and heard from the guy in the video about total ignore. It turned out that you can force the lady to return on your own, and even with an apology! But you need to do nothing at all: stop writing, calling and not answering your ex’s calls and texts. It sounded like deliverance. Especially, in comparison with the advice of popular psychologists: “Make amends, lick her heel and do a stand.” You watched a couple more videos about the balance of importance and finally became convinced that ignoring is the most effective way to get a woman back.

A surefire way to get your relationship back

Inspired by stories of women returning in tears, you decided to ignore. This is where the mistakes began: going into ignore mode in order to get the woman back at any cost is a false goal setting.

With such an attitude, you are not able to internalize the thoughts of diminishing importance and wiping out the predator. Even if I devoured all the videos on the channel. After all, you watched the videos through the prism of your own neediness and importance of this particular girl. That’s why you write in the comments: “I’ve been ignoring it for three days now. Will she definitely come back?”

It's not about her, it's about you

Total ignore is a really effective way to make a lady fall in love with you again. It works by changing the balance of importance in your favor. The one who ignores takes a strong position: he ceases to need a relationship. During the period of ignoring, the man becomes independent from his partner. This freedom from love madness is the main result. The real goal is the ability to maintain a happy relationship in the future. And returning an ex is only a consequence: girls are drawn to independent and strong men.

In the meantime, all your thoughts are about your ex - you are looking into the past. It's like running to the finish line, constantly looking back at the starting point. You can overcome some distance this way. But the likelihood of tripping and falling face first is very high. Can you already guess how you came to a breakdown? Don't rush to conclusions! A wrong goal is just the starting point of your failure. Let's figure out exactly which bumps you tripped over.

Principles of using the method

Principles:

Think in advance about what it might cost to ignore, and whether it is necessary to stop communication completely.
Stay away from the ignored, avoid personal meetings. If the meeting is accidental, it is better to quickly pass by without paying attention.
Do things that make it clear that you are not interested in communication. You can be diligently active in any activity, listen to music, talk on the phone.
If you ignore employees and colleagues, limit yourself only to work-related issues.

Since instant messengers and social networks are of great importance in people’s lives, certain measures need to be taken regarding them. This could be blocking, moving the user to a blacklist, or hiding your profile.

With the help of ignoring, you can exert a psychological influence on another person and achieve personal goals. To manage others, you need to understand how ignoring works, what reaction can be expected from him, and how not to go beyond what is permitted.

Why manipulation has a short-term effect

The method of ignoring with the aim of returning is, of course, aimed at your ex, is deliberate in nature and takes the form of manipulation. Most often, those who manipulate are those who know what impact it will have from their own experience. You don't show your suffering, your true feelings and emotions, and this begins to irritate and hurt your ex-girlfriend. She now wants to quickly end her suffering and resume her former relationship, return to the days of a happy time together. Therefore, manipulations are often short-lived.