Oh, how you want popularity when you are 11, 12... 16. It is incredibly tempting to be the center of attention and conversation. In the times of YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, the shortest path to fame is to take a beautiful selfie or record a viral video. Hundreds or even thousands of views will take you to the top, and the question “How to become popular at school” will be instantly resolved.
What does popularity depend on?
The popular girl is always the center of attention . Boys like her, she is envied and respected by her peers.
There is no special secret to fame; almost anyone can achieve attention.
However, what is needed here is courage , character traits that allow you to be visible and enjoy it.
You must want to be the center of attention, understanding that your every action will be evaluated , and many things will no longer pass unnoticed.
Popularity must be earned. Although it also happens that a girl has natural talent, and they pay attention to her at the first meeting.
Popularity must be maintained . You cannot become noticeable and famous once and, without doing anything, maintain your status. This is constant work on oneself, maximum openness and at the same time maintaining a share of mystery.
If you want to become popular, you must understand that your life will be in the public eye, your classmates will discuss you, and in addition to your friends, there will also be ill-wishers.
You must be able to enjoy your status , otherwise it is better to remain at the same level and lead a quiet and peaceful life.
Why is this so important?
Years at school can be the best or, on the contrary, filled with teenage problems or complexes .
The need of the individual is to stand out, to be noticeable, to occupy a significant place in society.
At school, in addition to the classroom, small social groups are formed. They have ordinary members and leaders. Almost every teenage girl wants to be popular.
However, not everyone manages to attract the necessary attention to themselves, so that their classmates listen to your words, pay attention to you, and your shortcomings miraculously turn into advantages.
Popularity is associated with self-sufficiency and high self-esteem. Charismatic individuals have a set of certain traits :
- sociability;
- courage;
- ability to please;
- cheerful disposition;
- high energy level.
A popular girl attracts attention at first sight, she stands out from the crowd of classmates and is always surrounded by fans.
No one would dare laugh at her, even if she made a mistake. On the contrary, mistakes and oddities are perceived with humor .
Someone will certainly stand up for a popular girl, while a loner constantly suffers from attacks from peers.
A girl who stands out is liked by boys , she can easily start romances and choose the best ones.
If a teenager is not popular, then the risk of ridicule and rejection by classmates increases.
These girls have practically no friends, they do not lead an active social life and most often spend time at home. This affects the development of character and behavior patterns.
How to make a guy fall in love with you at school? Find out about this from our article.
How parents and teachers can help teens become more popular and eliminate bullying at school
Young scientists Yakushina M.V. and Bushmarina D.A. conducted a scientific study
“The Idea of Popularity among Modern Teenagers” and published it. As a result, experts found a solution for teachers and parents who care about the position of a certain teenager in society.
Parents can help their child gain greater status in society by:
- Not worth it
be dismissive of the problem of teenagers' popularity. This matters much more to them than to an adult. It is worth helping the child with a solution to this problem, and not brushing him off, further lowering self-esteem and humiliating him.
- Too strong-willed and strict parents need give your child a little more freedom of expression
. Basically, this applies to clothes, shoes, hairstyle, accessories, that is, it concerns appearance. If you are categorically not satisfied with the chosen style, then try to come to a compromise. Remove categoricalness in this matter and do not control these moments too tightly. Sometimes, the only reason for rejection in a company is just the child’s appearance.
Teachers should also pay attention to the problem of popularity and rejection in order to eliminate bullying in the team
:
- Communicate with the leader and set a positive direction, then the entire team will confidently follow this student.
- Identify outcasts and work in class without naming names, but simply pushing teenagers to the right thoughts. But to do this you need to understand the reasons for what is happening in the classroom.
- Gather teams for extracurricular activities to help children get to know each other better and unite. The competitive moment helps a lot in this matter - it blurs the line between popularity and unpopularity.
The problem of popularity among schoolchildren is very relevant. Therefore, adults need to take an active part in order to equalize power in the team and eliminate bullying.
If you are not successful in school or class, then you need to try to correct the current situation. But only in the right ways. For example, you should not copy the behavior of a popular girl, flatter, please everyone, date different boys. You can achieve recognition only through kindness, good attitude towards people, activity and sociability. Be a strong personality with your own interests and thoughts, and then interesting people will gather around you who will become wonderful friends for many years to come.
Action plan
To become popular, you will have to work on your character . If you have a lot of complexes, start getting rid of them.
It's harder for shy people to achieve fame, but if you have the drive, you can overcome your fears.
By the way, many famous actors were not popular at all at school, they were shy, and working on themselves and having a goal helped them open up.
The following tips will help you:
- Don't limit your social circle . If you join one of the informal groups, then in another you may be perceived as difficult, especially if the group consists of outcasts. Choose the right social environment, but at the same time communicate with everyone, be open to interaction and contacts.
- Be natural. Artificial, deliberately created behavior is striking. There is no need to try to copy someone, in this way you lose yourself and become one of many. You can take something interesting from other people, for example, by paying attention to the style of clothing, but you must have individuality, this is what becomes the basis of popularity.
- Smile .
A gloomy face suits no one and turns people off. Even seemingly unattractive people become brighter and more interesting if they smile. You can work on your facial expressions in front of a mirror. Develop several options for smiles, but the main thing is that the eyes should be involved - they are the ones who reflect our inner world and mood. - Be friendly . Have you gotten into the habit of being rude and angry? This is a recipe for people to avoid you. Nobody likes negative, irritable people; they spoil the mood of others, so develop friendliness in yourself.
- Find something interesting to do . Your passion will set you apart from other peers. Hobbies allow for self-realization and comprehensive development. People who have hobbies are more interesting and attractive.
- Know your worth . This means a high level of self-esteem, the ability to boldly defend your interests, and not enter into relationships with people who simply plan to use you for their own interests.
If you are still far from popularity, then it is better to draw up an action plan. It will help you understand which direction to move, what points you should pay attention to .
First, assess what stage you are at now: whether your classmates completely reject you or willingly communicate with you.
In the second case, you are much closer to popularity. But this does not mean that in the first case you should despair and forget about your desires. Just a little courage and work on the image.
- Take care of your appearance. The popular girl looks well-groomed and attractive. She has good teeth and a neat and fashionable hairstyle. If makeup is allowed at school, but learn how to use it correctly. Too flashy makeup will not make you attractive. Learn to choose the right cosmetics so that they highlight the best features of your face. For a girl, natural shades and pink lipstick are more attractive; you don’t need to line your eyes too much - it makes you look older.
- Cloth . The girl who is being targeted carefully selects her wardrobe. It is not at all necessary to follow fashion exactly; clothes should ideally suit a particular person. For school, calmer colors are preferable; in your free time, you can wear a brighter outfit, but it should not look tacky. Clothes are an expression of the inner world, so forget about faded gray, inexpressive blue and brown colors.
- Develop your intellect. A smart girl is much more attractive and pleasant to have a conversation with.
- Chat with friends not only at school. Many friendships are made outside the educational institution. Go to the movies together, find a hobby together, or just hang out in your free time. ]new friends[/anchor], remember the old ones, this is how your social circle expands and your fans become more numerous.
- Use a social network page to create an image . Pay attention to what content you post on it - people judge us by reposts, photos, subscriptions. Remember about safety when communicating on the Internet and posting information.
- Participate in the life of the school , organize events, show off your talents.
When trying to gain popularity, always remember to maintain your reputation.
This video is about how to become the most popular at school:
Own opinion
Those individuals who have their own point of view on many issues become authoritative.
In cases where they do not understand something, they listen to the opinions of experts. The leader becomes the girl who is principled in her beliefs, is not subject to the influence of others and is accustomed to keeping her word. Leaders must also be goal-oriented individuals. They know what they want to achieve from life and are quite demanding and ambitious. Learn to set goals and think through the most effective plan for their implementation. A leader strives to think many steps ahead and involves everyone around him for future success.
Advice from psychologists and practical recommendations
Psychologists who study issues of social interaction among teenagers also know how to achieve popularity.
How to make peace with a friend? Read about it here.
How to be the most popular in your class and at school?
Gaining trust and a leadership position is a long process , especially if you have not been noticed for a long time.
It is important to think through your line of conduct. You don’t have to seem too approachable, you should have some mystery.
Peers will be more willing to reach out to an interesting person who knows his own worth and knows how to set personal boundaries in a timely manner.
Communication . You won't achieve popularity without it. If you are afraid to communicate, sign up for rhetoric or acting courses.
After them, many shy people became more relaxed, learned to find contact with any audience, and even gained fame.
You must develop a certain strength, an attractiveness that forces people to be near you, to focus on you. Work on your character and image, while maintaining your individuality.
How to be popular? More tips:
Is it possible to become popular at a new school and how to do it?
Moving to a new school is a lot of stress, and every student worries about how they will be accepted. Changes are especially difficult for high school students, since each class has already formed its own mini-groups , and new members are usually accepted into them with reluctance.
But that doesn't mean you won't succeed. If you show yourself correctly literally from day one, then there is a chance to gain trust and popularity.
- Goodwill . This rule applies to any relationship in a new or old team.
- Sociability, desire to make contact . Once in a new class, try to immediately identify the leadership group and get to know it.
- Participate in school activities . Surely there are sporting competitions, creative competitions, KVN, and area cleaning. Be active, express yourself.
- Take the initiative.
- Be yourself.
- Try not to conflict . Your classmates will probably test your strength. Do not enter into conflicts, but at the same time defend your interests, showing that you are an individual and you should not be offended. Communicate calmly, kindly, and be interested in your classmates.
It is important how you show yourself from the first days of school. It is during this period that most often your classmates decide what status you will be in. Therefore, think carefully about your behavior.
How to become a beauty at school? Some tips and lifehacks:
Who do teenagers themselves consider popular?
Research workers of the Institute of Sociology V.V. Titkova, V.A. Ivanyushina and Aleksandrov D.A., conducted a study among students in grades 9-11. A total of 2,376 people were surveyed using a questionnaire, and another 62 schoolchildren were interviewed.
According to the survey results, teenagers consider peers with prosocial behavior popular, that is, those who have a desire to help others or society as a whole.
If we consider the personality characteristics, then a popular teenager has the following qualities:
- Is the life of the party
– cheerful, with humor, can carry on a conversation, knows how to spend time and what to do with himself and his friends. Large companies gather around such people.
- Attractive appearance
. This definition has been used less frequently, but it also occupies a leading position. If we are talking about a girl, then it means that she is beautiful, dresses fashionably and stylishly, and has a bright appearance. If a young man was called attractive, they meant that he was in good athletic shape, had a beautiful body and an outstanding appearance.
- Intelligence
. Such people are also considered popular among teenagers. They study well, but are not arrogant, and are always happy to help their friends with homework or give tips on a test.
- The ability to stand up for yourself
. First of all, this is independence from other people’s opinions, the ability to stand up for oneself, lack of fear of teachers, the ability to conduct a dialogue and defend one’s opinion.
Based on the results of the study, the researchers concluded that a teenager whose behavior is socially approved by his peers is considered popular. Along the way, this person provides support to others and has academic success.
