What does constructive mean (element, dialogue, criticism or thinking)

Constructive thinking is the weapon of any adult. It helps to solve difficult life situations and get out of them with minimal losses. Precise definition: the ability to think productively, unemotionally. The skill is very useful, but the main injustice is that some people are gifted with this type of thinking by nature, while others can only dream of this superpower.

What does constructive thinking look like?

Constructive thinking is, in a sense, a way of life. It can be seen in the example of human reactions to difficult situations. For example, two maids finished their shift at a hotel and found themselves stuck in an elevator late at night. Both suffered from mild claustrophobia. Both of them were in a hurry about their business. And for both the situation was physically unacceptable. One of them panics, hits the buttons, starts wailing, screaming, trying to attract attention. The other, meanwhile, tries to remain calm. She monitors her breathing. She tries to call the elevator operator using the button. When the button did not work, the woman took out her mobile phone, called a friend who lived nearby, and after 15 minutes they were released.

What is the difference between the types of thinking of these women? The first one's thoughts were chaotic and not constructive. She felt sorry for herself - after all, she was claustrophobic, and she was in a hurry. Giving in to her emotions, she did not allow her mind to work on the situation. But she also had a mobile phone in her purse. The second woman did not allow herself to panic. She took it upon herself to solve the problem and did not panic when the elevator button did not work. If she didn't have a phone, she would still find a way out.

In any situation, constructive thinking begins where emotions end. Feelings prevent a person from adequately perceiving the situation. This type of thinking is more characteristic of men than women. The reason for this is different hormonal sets. Estrogen, which women are thoroughly saturated with, sensitivity at a certain time of the cycle - distances them from constructiveness. Women often give in to impulses and act under the influence of emotions. Such actions have no logical justification and, over time, become a matter of regret.

Men are also devoid of constructiveness, because there are very sensitive, vulnerable representatives of the stronger sex. Just like there are women who carry a “golden head” on their shoulders that can solve any problem.

Where to get constructive thoughts

First, let's figure out what this type of thinking gives a person.

1. The ability to balance the emotional pendulum and not succumb to negativity. The person will feel calm and protected. Behind constructive thinking is like behind a stone wall.
2. This helps to find a way out of the most difficult situations.
3. This kind of thinking often changes a person's life. He acquires a similar skill, realizes that there is something in his life that does not suit him, and begins to work in this direction. Logic will no longer allow you to avoid changes or find reasons for inaction. This is how positive change begins: with a thought. With the right thought.

Anyone, even the most emotional and inert person, can learn to think constructively. Try to remember a person around you who has this ability. Imagine a difficult situation and think about what he would do. Try to put yourself in his place and adopt the way of thinking. Emotions away, just cold reason.

You can practice both in fictitious situations and in real ones. A little work on your thinking, and the skill will become a habit.

Constructive thinking is characterized by:

• Impartiality.
• Logics.
• Subsequence.
• Thoughtfulness.
• Comprehensive assessment of the situation.
• Building a plan.
• Assessing prospects.
• Forecasting developments.
• Lack of emotions.

The main component of this type of thinking is a cool mind. Emotions do not allow a person to consider a situation from all sides, see perspectives and evaluate all possible options, choosing the best.

Constructive conversation: the meaning of the word

Often we communicate with people in order to have fun, have a good time and share our joys and experiences. But what to do when we are faced with a complex task that requires a competent solution? In such situations, a constructive conversation comes to the rescue, which makes it possible to find a mutually beneficial solution and suggests a direction for achieving a particular goal. Many people mistakenly believe that constructive communication is necessary only in professional activities. In fact, it plays an important role in family relationships. It is unlikely that you will be able to solve the problem of your family member if you resort to destructive conversation techniques.

How to think constructively

You can master the technique of a constructive way of thinking using the technique of renouncing emotions. Its essence is to completely rid yourself of emotions for a while. Just after hearing unpleasant news, most people immediately form a chain of negative thoughts in their heads, which plunge them into the abyss of dark feelings. No productivity.

The first step after receiving any information should be its comprehensive processing. Of course, if the information concerns you and can somehow affect the existing situation. There is no need to use logic and comprehend an anecdote, funny story or gossip about a colleague.

Example: a man is informed that his beloved wife had dinner in a cafe with an unknown man.

Destructive thinking.

“She’s definitely cheating on me. I'm a cuckold now and my friends already know. I'm disgraced. I will never forgive her. She won't admit it and will find an excuse. I loved her so much! I will also find a mistress - it will be fair. I don’t want to see her. I’m going on a spree.”

Such behavior and reaction would definitely lead to a scandal. And repeated situations of this type will lead to divorce. And all because of the inability to think constructively. Unnecessary emotions, far-fetched situations. And the wife just went to show her new colleague the cafe next to the office. They were just talking about work. He could be a deeply married man or even a man with unconventional views on women.

Constructive thinking.

“My wife will definitely give me a reasonable explanation for this case. It is unlikely that she will publicly share lunch with her lover in a cafe. The situation is unpleasant for me because I love my wife and am a little jealous of her. But she never gave me any reason to doubt. We will talk and find out everything, until this moment the situation will look to me like Schrödinger's cat. And now I don’t have a single reason to worry. It could be her distant relative or colleague. She will return home and we will calmly discuss everything. There’s no point in going over possible options in your head.”

Don't panic: assess the situation. Yes, the news is unpleasant for him. But the man pulled himself together; he would not burn his nerve cells in vain. He will not cause a scandal by screwing himself up. He accepted the fact that there was not enough information to draw any conclusions. Constructive thinking in action.

Solve the problem, don't change your interlocutor

In life, many people very often try to change those around them to suit themselves. You should try to get rid of this trait as quickly as possible. Understanding the fact that you are unlikely to be able to change another person can prevent a huge number of problems that may appear in the foreseeable future.

You are faced with a specific task. Let's consider the problem that we mentioned earlier - the child does not have time to complete his homework. In such a situation, there is no need to break your child and try to re-educate him in a rather rude manner. A child may not do his homework not only because he is a hooligan and a slacker. Perhaps he is too busy training. Or tutors take up a lot of his time, and because of this he simply does not have time to work on other subjects. There is a possibility that he simply does not understand this or that topic. As you can see, there can be many reasons. The main thing is to identify the problem and try to solve it.

Thinking like a strategist

Have you ever wondered how the mindset of a millionaire or a successful entrepreneur differs from the mindset of an ordinary person? Why do some people succeed in everything in life, while others cannot achieve a promotion even with an excellent education and work experience? Everything always starts with a thought. And the ability to think is decisive in any field.

How do these short, homely men think, next to whom the beauty queen walks? How do ugly women manage to get real Apollos as husbands? How does a boy from an orphanage become a millionaire? What is the secret of success? When there are no prerequisites, when no one helps, how do they manage to achieve their goals? Let us examine in detail the thinking of a strategist.

1. See the goal, consider it comprehensively.
2. Realize the degree of importance for yourself.
3. Assess your real capabilities, taking into account the complete lack of luck and help from other people. For strategists know that in this life they can only rely on their own strength.
4. Calculate options for the development of events.
5. An important rule of successful people: you should always have a backup plan. Plan b". If it doesn’t work out right away, they will use this fallback option. It is also worth developing a plan “B” - and so on at least until the middle of the alphabet. Often people achieve their goals not on the first try and not on the second. Sometimes it takes the thousandth option to get all the way to the end.
6. Next comes a promise to yourself that you will not give up. Now that the options have been calculated, you don’t have to be upset about failures. The strategist foresaw this and prepared a plan B. There is no disappointment component. Emotions can lead you astray. They are good in certain situations, but not here.
7. A strategist knows how to make emotions serve him. There are only two options: eliminate them completely, using reason rather than feelings, or use them. You can hang a photo of your least favorite fat relative on the refrigerator - and this will force you to stick to your diet. Every day you can remember your difficult childhood in poverty and go to work, climb the career ladder. Man considers himself a rational being. But when his emotions control him, he looks no better than a kitten chasing its tail in rage. Destroy or subjugate: this is what successful people do with their feelings.
8. Next, the strategist’s thinking comes into play and the details are thought out.
9. The implementation stage begins. The strategist at this stage continues to be guided by his own plan. Analyzes it. Makes adjustments if necessary.

At first glance, this seems like a simple task. But in reality, such discipline is not possible for everyone. It’s good if there is a person around who can teach this by example. If not, you can always take the heroes of films and TV series as an example. Sherlock Holmes thought constructively. He is a model of impartiality. Another example is the image of Sheldon Cooper from the popular TV series “The Big Bang Theory”. His thinking is borderline fantastic.

How to understand that you have a chaotic type of thinking

Having read the article to this point, everyone was already thinking: “What’s wrong with me? Do I have constructive thinking? It is so simple. Or not?". To answer this question, analyze how you usually speak and solve problems.

A simple test will help you understand your way of thinking:

1. During a conversation, are you distracted by insignificant details and trifles?
2. How long does it take you to explain your thoughts?
3. Do you start the story with the Mesozoic era? (This means whether you start it from the very essence or, as in the fairy tale: “We lived, we didn’t grieve”).
4. Are you distracted by extraneous thoughts, changing the topic of conversation?
5. Do you ever analyze other people's thoughts about your idea? (People who are closed to other people's opinions are limited. It is not necessary to accept someone else's point of view, but if you are offered an alternative option that may turn out to be productive advice, an intelligent person will definitely listen).
6. Don't plan your day in advance?

If you answered yes to at least one of the questions, you should work on yourself. This means that your type of thinking is close to chaotic. More than three positive answers mean that your thinking is chaotic.

What is constructive?

In order to understand what a constructive conversation means, you must first know the meaning of the word “constructive.” Constructive is actions or reactions that are aimed at solving problematic problems, normalizing relationships and improving a difficult situation. The opposite of constructive is destructive. If a person uses profanity, insults, baselessly accuses other people (that is, engages in activities that take up time and lead nowhere) - this is a destructive person.

Development of thinking

Practical exercises will help you develop the right way of thinking. What is needed for this? Just start. With the understanding that it won’t work out the first time or even the hundredth time. You will practice for a long time before you notice that emotions no longer rule your life.

Start with simple everyday situations. I don't feel like washing dishes. Analyze the situation, engage constructive thinking. Perhaps you will realize that it is more advisable to wash the dishes immediately after eating, without leaving them for later under the pretext of soaking and busyness. Moreover, washing dishes is a time of relaxation. When you wash a plate, think only about the plate. Learn to turn off your thoughts. Afterwards, praise yourself for washing right away.

Any unpleasant situation can and should be used for good. And constructive thinking will help with this.

Grouping topics

For convenience, you can mentally compile a library of topics. If you are talking about work, then the topic should not switch to personal issues. If you analyze the situation, do not think about the upcoming renovation or movie. Clear your internal dialogue of debris. Only pure constructivism of thinking. When you are no longer working, but just walking in the park, you can allow yourself to think about something detached. But even then, do not forget about control. There should be no porridge in your head - pure thoughts on a certain topic. When it is exhausted, move on to another. Thinking needs control.

Choosing the right interlocutor

Subordinates discuss among themselves the decisions of their management: some are not satisfied with the reduction in time allotted for a lunch break, others are unhappy with the air conditioning that does not work in the heat, others are not satisfied with the lack of a trash can in the office, etc. If they simply discuss this among themselves, they will ultimately achieve nothing. It would be more constructive to address such questions directly to your superiors (if there is a specific proposal).

How constructive thinking affects health

There are several changes that will happen to you if you learn constructive thinking. Everyone who took such training or mastered the art on their own spoke about them.

1. The person becomes calmer. His thoughts come into order. He begins to plan his day.
2. People around notice changes in the gait, posture and gestures of such people. But this does not happen immediately. Psychologists notice such things in their patients who have persistently trained their way of thinking for several weeks.
3. Panic attacks and neuroses recede, and VSD partially goes away. A person no longer gives in to panic, does not look for diseases that he heard about yesterday from the news.
4. Many women and men finally manage to go on a diet and lose excess weight. People begin to control themselves better.
5. Some somatic diseases and symptoms of asthenia disappear.
6. Sleep improves and a person feels more alert. Especially if you paid attention to your health: included sports and proper nutrition in your daily to-do list.
7. People who were terrified of doctors get rid of their fears and undergo preventive examinations on time.

Such results are achieved by those who are persistent, those who do not give up what they started. If a person manages to control his thinking, his emotions can also be controlled.

Thought is an intermediate link in the eternal struggle between reason and feelings. And when reason wins, a person’s life improves.

How to learn to convert positive into constructive

Constructive thinking almost completely eliminates negativism. A person cannot give in to sad thoughts and feel sorry for himself, because this is of no use, like milk from a goat. Wanting to invigorate and motivate itself, the mind will rather find positive moments in any situation. And positivity turns into constructivism. In fairness, it is worth noting that the engine can be not only a carrot, but also a stick. But it is wiser to use positive reinforcement more often - you are not your own enemy.

Example. You are tired and want to put off some work until tomorrow. But this will affect your earnings. Positive reinforcement: You figure out what to buy for yourself with the extra money. This idea brings joy. You don't want to lose her. Here's an incentive to work on the weekend! Next is a simple action plan to get everything done: organizational issues. So the positive turned into constructive.

What is the difference between constructive dialogue and normal conversation?

We think you already roughly understand what a constructive conversation or dialogue means. But this raises another question: how does constructive communication differ from ordinary communication? Well, let's try to figure it out.

The main difference in these concepts lies in the purpose for which the conversation is being conducted, and, of course, in the style of the conversation itself. The essence of constructive conversation is the orderly discovery of truth, which shapes a person’s worldview. A conversation that has no purpose is just chatter. Such chatter is aimed only at the exchange of information between people. This means that as a result of the dialogue, a person is left with only positive or negative emotions.

A characteristic feature of a constructive conversation is a mutual desire to achieve mutual understanding, and until this goal is achieved, the interlocutors will continue to communicate. This means that upon completion of such a dialogue, a person’s point of view on a certain issue should change.

Methods

Let's look at techniques that will help you learn constructive thinking.

• Complete control over emotions.

Let it upset you that your boss yelled at you in the morning. Away with self-pity and theatrical digressions. You simply solve important problems, go to his office and resolve the situation to the end.

• “No” to fear.

If you feel a symptom of any disease, turn off the panic. What symptoms should the patient have? Do you have them or is it all the result of wild imagination? If symptoms persist for a while and there is no explanation, just get checked. Don't panic and write a will. Feelings are almost always unnecessary. Because they are not constructive.

• Plan your time from start to finish.

You should always know what you will be doing tomorrow and in a month. If plans change, adapt, keep the basics. It should be prepared in advance. It goes like this: a lot can change, but even if the world ends, you'll still do 50 sit-ups and clean the house. This is the basis of constructive thinking.

Rule #1

Orderly and respectful communication is the foundation of constructive conversation. People are able to discuss issues openly only if they see that the other person is closely involved in the conversation. Ridicule, shouting, sarcasm or simple inattention simply discourage the desire to communicate, and thereby violate the main goal of a constructive conversation - finding a result that would suit both parties.

This is an extremely simple rule, which, unfortunately, is not always followed. Some may say, “I’m definitely not like that. I always listen to the other person." Perhaps this is true. But “listening to the interlocutor” and “hearing the interlocutor” are completely different things.

Below we will share with you other important rules that every person who wants to learn how to have a constructive conversation needs to know.