Psychological compatibility determines how comfortable you are around a particular person. If this is a family, will you be able to build strong relationships without quarrels and resentments? If it’s a work team, will you be able to find a common language with your colleagues and work together to achieve a common result? Compatibility is based on many factors. Only one can be adjusted, while the others cannot be changed. How then to establish interaction?
The concept of psychological compatibility
Psychological compatibility is the ability of two, three or more people to interact with each other, without paying attention to the character traits or personality traits of each of them.
Compatibility in psychology is based on the combination of characteristics and temperaments of individual group members. They help to stay in the same territory for a long period of time, and also to experience only positive emotions from communicating with each other.
In psychology there is also the opposite concept - psychological incompatibility. This is the inability to find a common language with others in critical situations.
Meaning
Psychological compatibility of people plays an important role. In many ways, the atmosphere in the team depends on it. And these are not all the advantages:
- Helps achieve better results at low cost.
- Increases labor productivity.
- Improves the ability to interact with each other.
- Increases self-esteem and self-confidence of each team member.
- Helps to gain a feeling of security.
Incompatibility, on the contrary, reduces productivity. It leads to the development of conflicts, the appearance of negative emotions, and bad mood. Antipathy arises between people.
Illustrative examples of psychological compatibility
Imagine a situation involving two people. They both have a strong character, want to be leaders, and tend to dominate. It will not be possible to establish interaction. Someone alone must obey, be able to compromise.
Even two harsh, hot-tempered people will not be able to work effectively. Each of them needs a different, calmer, balanced partner.
The key to compatibility is the optimal combination of value orientations, genotype and... altruism
To summarize, it should be noted that psychological compatibility is defined as mutual acceptance by people of each other, which is based on the similarity or complementarity of their value orientations and personal characteristics.
Ideally compatible would be people of approximately the same age, temperament, biological rhythms, health status, sexual activity, the same level of education, and who also have the same goals, and their methods of achieving them also do not differ. And ideally compatible people are ready to take responsibility for each other and joint decisions. But in life such coincidences are practically impossible.
But nevertheless, we have psychological compatibility with people who are different from us in many ways. And what will help us achieve compatibility in our own lives with loved ones and colleagues is, perhaps, not a well-timed psychological compatibility test, but the desire to make others feel good with us. Maybe this is precisely the key to psychological compatibility?
Kinds
For the full development of a person as an individual, society is needed. Throughout his life he will have to enter into relationships. They can be romantic, friendly, work, etc. In any case, you need to learn to interact with others. The effectiveness of interaction directly depends on how similar people are to each other, on their psychological compatibility. It is not necessary that they be “like two peas in a pod.” It is important that they harmoniously complement each other. So, there are 3 types of psychological compatibility:
- Social and psychological compatibility. Members of a group or team are united by common goals, interests, social attitudes, culture, values, views and opinions. They look at joint activities equally and treat each other with respect. Compatibility in this case depends on the personality type of each individual person.
- Psychophysiological compatibility. This is a combination of physical and intellectual, psychomotor development. This also includes the development of sense organs and temperament. This type of compatibility is most clearly expressed in sports teams. But it is also needed in other areas of life, for example, in sexual relationships.
- Classic psychological compatibility. People have the same motives, characters and behavior.
The most interesting type is considered to be psychophysiological compatibility. One of its elements is the compatibility of temperaments. A rather interesting situation arises here. Similar temperaments will not guarantee that people will find a common language. The chances are 50 to 50. In the case where the temperaments are directly opposite to each other, there is no talk of interaction at all.
Psychological compatibility in marriage
The psychological compatibility of spouses largely determines how long their marriage will last. Feelings, love, sexual desire - none of the above can hold them back. At first, it really seems that your partner is the best person in the world. A man or woman believes that they can easily cope with any shortcomings and misunderstandings. If they can’t cope, they can put up with them. But suddenly, after a few years, they discover that there is nothing to talk about with their spouse. Yes, and goals in life are different. It's all about the initial lack of compatibility. What is psychological compatibility in family relationships based on?
- Upbringing, social status, education. It's minimum. If a man and a woman have the same views on the development of themselves as individuals, the family model, the distribution of finances, and communication with others, it will be easier for them to interact. No one will face disappointment in the future. Remember the example from fairy tales about how a princess falls in love with a poor young man. Blinded by feelings, she escapes from the palace to live a long and happy life with her lover. So, this is nothing more than a fairy tale. In reality, everything is much more complicated. Can you imagine what a shock it would be for the princess to wake up early and have to work in the garden? The same is true in reality.
- Matching temperaments is another element of psychological compatibility. It depends on them how spouses react to certain situations, how often they quarrel, and how they spend their free time. At this point it is worth mentioning sexual compatibility. It implies not only attraction to each other. It is also important to coincide in matters of what is permitted, emancipation, and experimentation.
- Sameness in views, values, priorities. It is important that there is something in common between husband and wife. Otherwise, one of them will seek understanding on the side. Some points can really be discussed with friends. The marriage will not suffer from this. But what can we say if spouses have different views, for example, on murder or abortion?
Don't think that just one aspect is enough for a long-term relationship. There are many levels of psychological compatibility. There are no important or not very important details here. You can communicate with friends and acquaintances once a week, month, year. But you need to be close to your spouse all your life, in any situation. There are few coincidences when it comes to interesting films, recreation or entertainment.
The main signs of incompatibility between partners are the following:
- Genetic incompatibility.
- The struggle for financial resources. That is, quarrels arising on the basis of which of the two earns and who spends. Material squabbles kill any positive beginning in a young family.
- Intellectual incompatibility. For example, she, sophisticated and intelligent, loves to read the classics, writes philosophical articles, goes to the theater and quotes Brodsky, but he does not understand how the Primer differs from “War and Peace”, picks his teeth with a fork, soulfully hurls obscenities and considers the work in garage is the ultimate dream.
- Sensual incompatibility. Every spouse periodically has the desire to escape, at least temporarily, away from their partner. Also, sometimes both of them are struck by the thought - “we have become strangers to each other.” Vacation - together or apart?
- Different mentalities. He was raised in a wealthy Muslim family, she in a working-class atheist family. Everyone has their own views on life, principles and values. Everyone considers their position to be correct. Intransigence with each other's positions will sooner or later lead to a break.
- Inability to communicate. During conflicts, he withdraws into himself. She is able to express dissatisfaction only by screaming and tears. The inability to communicate is the reason why many couples break up.
- Moral incompatibility. She is a believer, quiet, incapable of conflict, insult, or swearing. He is the complete opposite.
- Household incompatibility.
Psychological compatibility in a team
A lot depends on psychological compatibility in a group:
- final performance results;
- how satisfied the group members are with the work done;
- how much effort and resources were expended;
- emotional investment.
It turns out that socio-psychological compatibility in a team is the ability of several people to work towards a common goal, to be a cohesive team. The more unifying factors, the more efficient the production.
The psychological compatibility of team members depends on communication characteristics. There are 4 types of people:
- Leaders. They easily cope with assigned tasks. Ready to manage others.
- Individualists. They like to work alone.
- Conformists. Always subordinate to leaders. Easily adapt to team conditions.
- Collectivists. They work exclusively in a group.
When assembling a group, you need to consider other factors:
- physiology – gender, age, health;
- psychophysiology – temperament;
- psychology – character traits, motives;
- socio-psychological nuances - priorities, life values, goals, expectations.
Generally speaking, psychological compatibility in a team is determined by the characteristics of the work. People with similar traits are suitable for long-term cooperation. To complete creative tasks, you need a group of participants whose character traits will complement each other. To achieve one big common goal, it is worth selecting dissimilar employees, perhaps even with contrasting qualities.
Criteria for psychological compatibility
Psychologists have been working on issues of psychological compatibility for several decades. But it was not possible to identify criteria for its assessment. At the moment, they are conditionally divided into 2 groups: for the team and for marriage. The first group includes:
- performance results;
- the amount of resources spent by participants (emotions, energy);
- satisfaction with the process.
Psychological compatibility in marriage is determined by the following criteria:
- How satisfied are the partners with the relationship?
- both voluntarily want to be together;
- spouses are ready to seek a compromise and meet each other halfway in resolving serious issues.
In short, compatibility in any type of relationship is the ability to be together, work, and not conflict, despite the criticality of the situation. Of course, it won’t work without quarrels and misunderstandings. But the team members are interested in interaction, so they solve them as soon as possible.
There is no such thing as 100% psychological compatibility. According to psychologists, this is nothing more than painstaking work on relationships. This is partly true. You cannot change your temperament and mental characteristics. But everything else can be adjusted if desired.
Bibliography
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- differential psychophysiology, E. P. Ilyin, St. Petersburg, 2001.
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How to deal with different temperaments
It was said above that the type of temperament is an integral part in the compatibility of two or more people. This applies to all areas of life, including work and family relationships. Let's look at the secrets of communication in more detail.
Choleric
When interacting with such people, there are a number of things to remember:
- Choleric people speak first, then think. Many words were spoken by them in the heat of emotion. So don't believe everything you say. Don't take everything too seriously, don't get offended. Often a choleric person forgets what he was talking about after just a few minutes.
- For people with this type of temperament, their mood changes every second. His words are directly dependent on the emotions he is experiencing at the moment.
- Treat choleric people leniently. Try not to create situations in which he might explode.
- An overly emotional person quickly loses his temper and calms down just as quickly. He may simply forget about the conflict situation.
- Cholerics need time to rest. You can't put pressure on them. This is especially true for the workflow.
- People with this temperament are characterized by leadership qualities. But sometimes they cannot show them due to their temper.
Another feature of choleric people is the inability to wait. If they have a new idea, it needs to be implemented quickly. The same goes for desires. The problem is that interest in work quickly disappears. Accordingly, the matter is rarely completed.
Phlegmatic person
These are conservatives. They are not ready to accept something new without thinking. They need time to think it over and get used to it. That is why you should not expect a quick answer or a lightning-fast solution from phlegmatic people.
What else can be said about this type of temperament in the light of psychological compatibility?
- Phlegmatic people are not the first to speak and rarely talk about themselves. If you want to know something, ask questions. But remember that you are unlikely to hear a colorful, detailed story. Rather, the answer will be dry and short.
- A phlegmatic person does not show emotions and speaks little. But such people will be the first to help. Words don't matter to them. The main thing is business.
- Phlegmatic people are rational to the core. They do not listen to lengthy arguments and fantasies. You can capture their attention by presenting a rational, carefully researched idea.
- People with this temperament like to work according to instructions. Therefore, submit instructions or requests in writing. It is advisable to write down every little detail. Diagrams, tables, and graphs will help.
When talking to phlegmatic people, remember that they value accuracy. Be direct and to the point. Use fewer epithets, figurative expressions, and metaphors. Support your words with facts.
Sanguine
People with this type of temperament are mega sociable and at the same time secretive. They may not tell you the truth. But you will see her in her eyes, gestures, facial expressions. Observe the person and his reaction to a given situation. This will help you see what is going on inside him. There are other tips:
- Do not criticize sanguine people if they reason superficially. Wait a little, let them fix it.
- Sanguine people do not know how to admit guilt or mistakes. Even if this happened, they will not say it out loud. Accept this feature. Do not criticize in public, do not try to sort things out.
- Sanguistic individuals constantly need bright emotions, new impressions, and an adrenaline rush. Boredom and monotonous life are not for them. If you give a person all of the above, count on a long-term relationship.
Sociable sanguine people are ready to work in a team. It is not difficult for them to express opinions, generate ideas, and discuss options for solving problems. Take advantage of this character trait. Seek help, ask for advice, create an action plan together.
Melancholic
A melancholic nature is characterized by kindness, sympathy, and pity. Such people will definitely find a common language with those who are going through hard times. In order to capture their attention, it is enough to tell some sad story.
Melancholic people are very sensitive. You should be extremely careful when dealing with them. Do not demand anything, avoid harshness and raised voices. Criticize calmly, as unobtrusively as possible. Otherwise, the person will begin to panic and rush. In the end, he won't do anything.
Melancholic people are the best employees where the work is monotonous and monotonous. They are comfortable working alone. Unlike sanguine people, a person with such a temperament does not seek adrenaline or emotions. He will prefer quiet meetings with friends or watching an exciting movie to active entertainment.
And further. Melancholic people find it difficult to start conversations with strangers. If such a need arises, tell him in advance about the person, the purpose of the meeting, and the topic of the conversation.
Psychological compatibility and incompatibility of temperaments
Will people with different temperaments be able to interact with each other?
- There will definitely be conflicts between choleric people and sanguine people. They both want to be in a leadership position.
- Choleric people also find it difficult to get along with melancholic people. The first ones are always in a hurry, rushing those around them. The latter cannot stand the rush, get scared, fall into a stupor and get upset because of it.
- Sanguine people and phlegmatic people can resolve any misunderstanding that arises between them. But the accumulating resentment will eventually come out.
- The interaction between a sanguine person and a melancholic person will be effective.
- Phlegmatic people can rightfully be called the ideal partner for a representative of any type of temperament. The exception is the same phlegmatic people. Both work and personal relationships in this case will be boring and uninteresting.
According to psychologists, different temperaments are needed to create strong family relationships. For friendship - similar. If we are talking about a company, the best leader will be a sanguine person. Only he will have to learn to delve into the situation and not make hasty decisions.
Be careful towards your loved one!
Of course, all of the above recommendations only give a general idea of what needs to be done. Human relationships are very complex, cases are different, and yet the most effective way to solve the problem is to contact a specialist. Joint therapy will help to improve relationships faster than independent actions of people, which can sometimes aggravate the situation.
If something resonated with you while reading the text and it seems to you that the situation and symptoms described in the article are similar to your case, and you would like to solve this problem, you can call me first at + 7 (926) 169-36 -63 to talk about your problem that you want to solve.
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