There are people who always radiate energy and confidence, not paying attention to what they lack: money, beauty, connections. And even skeptics are surprised to find that they have fallen under their spell.
Such charming personalities live life to the fullest. They are the ones people turn to for help, advice or companionship. Those who are not like them, when left alone, ask themselves questions: what do they have that I don’t, what makes them so attractive?
What is their secret? In the feeling of self-sufficiency that comes from within.
Charming people do not seek constant approval because they are confident enough in themselves. They have one more thing in common: every day they relentlessly pursue their goal and achieve it. As you understand, being charming is not just luck. It's time to study the habits of charming people and use them to increase your personal effectiveness.
Follow the Platinum Rule
The golden rule—treat others the way you want to be treated—has a serious flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same. It ignores the fact that different people are motivated by different things. And while one loves public recognition, the other hates being the center of attention.
The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.
Charming people have a good understanding of human nature. They adjust their behavior and communication style so that others feel comfortable with them.
What does it mean to be charming
Some conclusions can be drawn:
- Charm is not necessarily associated with external beauty.
- It cannot be feigned, false and hypocritical.
- It is impossible to imagine that a rude, tactless, closed or enslaved person, with a callous, cynical soul and emptiness inside, would be considered charming.
A charming person is a person who is friendly, open, sociable, pure in thoughts, with a sincere, spiritual smile and clear, kind eyes. This is a person with self-esteem, but not arrogance, who will never humiliate or offend his interlocutor.
Women's charm deserves special mention. After all, every girl or woman wants to attract attention, wants to be liked. But not everyone is given a bright appearance, and this is not necessary. If you are well-groomed from head to toe, if you combine calm confidence with natural sincerity, and a soft smile and friendly look are emphasized by smooth movements and a subtle sense of humor, then you will not go unnoticed in any society.
Avoid small talk
There is no easier way to derail someone else's interest than to start a conversation with meaningless chatter. When you try to approach a person and start empty small talk, your interlocutor immediately switches his brain to autopilot and definitely does not feel real sympathy for you. Charming people, when starting a conversation, try to find something deep even in insignificant things. Their genuine interest in people helps them easily answer a good question and talk about what they consider important in different areas of life.
The charm of success
We all strive for some kind of achievement, some consciously, and some only at the subconscious level. Therefore, everyone is interested in someone who has achieved something in life, as an example of success, a source of valuable life advice, or an incentive to move forward and not stop there.
A successful person is the personification of the good life and well-being that each of us strives for. But this is not the only reason why successful people are so attractive . As a rule, those people who do not succeed are gloomy and depressing with their pessimism, poisoning the lives of those around them.
A successful personality is very attractive to others
Communication with such people is of little interest and even harmful, because a person who is a loser in life is unlikely to rejoice in someone else’s success, but will become a reliable shoulder in a difficult moment - he is loaded with his own personal problems.
A successful person is not burdened with the hardships of life, she does not oppress others, but moves through life with ease.
Focus on people more than anything else
Charming people have a genuine interest in those around them. As a result, they don't spend much time thinking about themselves. They don't worry about whether they are good enough because they are too busy with other people. That is why their charm does not require serious effort.
To make this habit work for you, put your smartphone aside and focus on the people around you. Pay attention to what and how they say, not how you respond. When people share something about themselves, ask them leading questions to show your interest.
Charisma tests: list of sites
There are many services that allow you to find out how charming a person is:
- . One of the fastest tests with six easy questions. The result is also quite brief, but overall it will give a general correct idea of your charm;
- woman-psy.com. An eight-question test related to communication skills and self-esteem. More aimed at a female audience;
- . Another test for women with a large number of questions (12 pieces) and more detailed answer options. The result of charm is expressed as a percentage. Plus, links are provided to useful articles on correcting psychological problems that prevent people from liking them;
- . 10 questions that will help determine how easily a person establishes contacts, how he behaves in friendly communication and in disputes with others.
Make a person love you
Which persons does a person like more than others? Those with whom he feels confident and comfortable. How to be charming? Make the person feel good around you. If he enjoys the conversation and after communicating with you, her self-esteem increases, then the person will try to look for a repeat meeting with you. It's not that hard to win people over. You need to force them to be themselves, not hide their personality under a mask and behave confidently. This is the main secret of the charm of many natures.
Low self-esteem
If a guy is not confident when he interacts with women, then he will not be considered charming. If a man has low self-esteem and expects a woman to be gentle with him and give him a chance to get to know her, he will not be seen as charming.
If a guy has bad manners—talking with his mouth full, being too loud or too bossy, never saying “please” or “thank you,” and having a bad attitude towards jobs like being a waiter, he will never be considered charming.
A man may be able to attract some women who like bad boys, but most of them will think he is an “idiot” and will start avoiding him.
If a guy doesn't know how to attract a girl, create sexual tension between them, and seduce her, he won't be considered charming either. The fair sex may love him as a person, but they will never say that he is charming. Instead, she will see him as just a nice guy, friend or casual acquaintance, but will not have any sexual interest in him.
One last thing: if a guy doesn't have the social intelligence to be able to talk to women and hold an attractive conversation, then he won't be considered a charming person either.
Old school
In the past, fascination was associated with heroes and knights who dueled with villains to defend a woman's honor. This would make her feel attracted to his bravery and strength.
A little later, men who wanted to learn how to be charming would throw their jacket, coat or cloak into the mud so that the girl could pass without getting her shoes dirty.
Old school movie heroes such as Errol Flynn, Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart from the 30s, 40s, 50s were attractive to women because of their confidence and celebrity status. Then, when women saw them say and do nice things in films, they called them charming.
Today, charm is still an important part of men's and women's courtship, but it has changed to suit modern culture. For example, if a guy threw his jacket on the ground so a woman could pass, most would think he was weird. Although just a few decades ago this gesture was the main one for those who wanted to learn how to be charming.
Simple and tasteful
Personal taste and sense of style are also a very important component of a charming nature. You can wear anything, combine different styles of clothing and appearance, but a favorable impression can only be made if the outfit generally matches the situation. For a party in an unfamiliar company, the ideal option would be a discreet outfit, in which only a couple of touches emphasize the individuality of its hostess. This could be an unusual accessory or decoration. Shocking people very often only cause irritation.
Maintain eye contact
Many guys ask the question: “How to be charming to girls?” When you are talking to someone else, notice that eye contact is maintained throughout the entire conversation. Over time, you will notice that people are divided into two categories - those who are not afraid to look into the eyes, and those who diligently look away. If you want to appear genuine and interested, you need to focus your gaze on the other person.
Sometimes a piercing gaze works much better than a smile. Therefore, you can appear as a charming and charismatic person whom everyone loves.
Attractive appearance
What do we see when we first look at another person? Of course, an undoubted advantage is a beautiful, well-groomed appearance. This does not mean that a lady should look like a model from the cover of a magazine.
In fact, her beauty should be close to natural, and the advantages of her face and figure should be beautifully emphasized.
- Figure. For many representatives of the stronger half of humanity, a beautiful figure is of great importance. Girls who are thin and slender, with beautiful shapes are considered very attractive. Remember, however, that ladies who are too thin do not look natural;
- Height. Another important physical feature is height. Men don't like to raise their heads when looking at someone. This does not mean, however, that they all prefer short women. Many guys love tiny, thin girls, but for most, the most attractive is a lady of average height. Fortunately, heels can successfully combat the problem of short stature;
- Leather. When assessing the attractiveness of women, attention is often paid to their skin. Although, of course, everyone has different tastes, most prefer tanned girls, because pallor is associated with morbidity. A dark complexion adds a touch of exoticism and mystery;
- Lips. Ideal, according to many young people, are beautiful, medium-sized lips. Lips that are too small and narrow are associated with rage and anger, while lips that are too large and especially incorrectly painted and outlined with a contour pencil seem vulgar;
- Hair. Most representatives of the stronger sex love women with long hair, because such hairstyles emphasize femininity, curls add charm and should smell pleasant. Careful hygiene and hair care will add to your attractiveness;
- Voice. An important component of charm is the voice. It happens that the delight of a girl’s beauty disappears in an instant as soon as she speaks. Men are interested in women with a soft, warm, but not weak voice. A subtle, flirtatious voice provokes and attracts attention. The chest voice sounds sexy. A rough voice sounds unnatural and tends to be off-putting;
- Eyes. Men adore big and sincere eyes, but their color practically does not matter for most guys. Full of warmth and “smiling” eyes inspire confidence and make the world harmonious;
- Smile. A smile indicates a woman's joy and happiness, which a man would like to be involved in. A smile plays an important role in life. It's hard to get angry or complain about someone who smiles. A smile does wonders - it warms the atmosphere, blocks bad emotions, and extinguishes any conflicts. When a lady laughs not only her lips, but also her eyes, she makes the world around her brighter, lighter, warmer. It’s calm and joyful to be around such a charismatic person.
These external features influence men's opinions and their first impression of a lady. Many of them can be fixed. The right choice of shoes, proper makeup, hairstyle, diet and physical activity can improve your appearance. And high-heeled shoes act as an aphrodisiac.
