Friendship is not just about exchanging interesting stories over a cup of coffee. Strong connections with people are vital for every person. According to a Harvard University study, lack of friendships increases the risk of premature death by 50% - the same as if you smoked 15 cigarettes daily.
Talking about your problems and making new friends becomes more difficult as you age. But in fact, everything is very simple, you just need to understand what kind of friend you want to find.
Jan Yager
writer
The secret of friendship is simple: you need to be open to it. Here are six tips to help you create new friendships.
Be friendly
The first impression largely determines whether a person will continue communicating with you or not. And the most important thing here is facial expression. Think about the people you see every day in a store, at the airport, or in line for documents. If a person is frowning, frowning, or not smiling, you are unlikely to want to exchange a few words with him. He just doesn't look friendly, although he very well could be.
A good-natured smile or simply a polite nod of the head lets others know that you are friendly and open to communication.
Another indicator of openness is the ability to listen. Most likely, you have something to tell, but do not forget that friendship is a mutual process, so do not focus on yourself and listen with interest to the other person. This could very well be the start of a wonderful friendship.
Why friendship is important
Mintimer Missarov, psychotherapist, member of the American Psychiatric Association (APA)
Friendship from the point of view of psychology is a stable relationship built on the basis of mutual sympathy. The main signs of friendship: closeness, care, respect, trust, common values, interests and hobbies. It is believed that having even one good friend makes a person more satisfied with life. And some data say that the more reliable friends a person has, the happier he is. Friendly relationships have a positive effect on mental health and build adequate self-perception. Unfortunately, problems with friendships can be risk factors for mental health problems and even suicidal behavior.
Friendship improves physical health
Research shows that people who have friends maintain strong immunity, recover faster and live longer. American scientists have found that stable friendships reduce the risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke, and also halve the likelihood of premature death. People with a wide social circle tolerate pain more easily because their bodies produce more endorphin, the pain-relieving hormone.
Friendship helps you lead a healthy lifestyle
Introducing new habits is easier when you are around people who share the same values. For example, if your friends eat healthy, don't drink alcohol, and go to the gym regularly, you'll likely find it easier to maintain a similar lifestyle. There are studies that confirm that losing weight is more effective with a friend who also wants to lose weight. You will encourage each other, keep each other from slipping, and are more likely to achieve your goal together than alone.
Friendship helps in stressful situations
In 2011, scientists Ryan Adams, Jonathan Bruce Santo and William Bukowski found that the support of friends helps to cope with difficult life situations. If a loved one is nearby, the body releases less stress hormone - cortisol. Loneliness, in turn, becomes its own stress and contributes to depression.
Do what you like
The best way to make new friends is to meet people with whom you have common interests. If you have a hobby that you usually do alone, think about where you can find like-minded people. Sign up for a sports section, join groups on social networks, see where people with similar interests gather in your city.
There is nothing easier than starting a conversation about some things with a person who also likes them. When you meet someone with similar interests, exchange contacts and stay in touch.
How to make friends for a child.
Does your child not know how to make friends? Here are some effective tips for moms on how to make friends for their children. It is often difficult for reserved, shy children to find friends. To do this, it is necessary to conduct several explanations and role-playing games with the child. It is especially difficult for children in primary school, but let’s start with preschool age. Where can a child find friends? Don’t interfere with him, he will find it himself, and you just help a little.
You need to teach your child to be friendly. And if one of the children says “hello,” teach the child to reciprocate. For children, greeting is often one of the signs of interest. If the child cannot begin to communicate on his own, teach him to respond to interest in him. And when they communicate, it will often lead to a long conversation. But remember, there is no 100% correct way to make friends.
Mega tips on how to teach a child the value of money...
Parents must remember that children can only be friends with those they want, if the child is not friends with anyone. Don't force him to be friends with someone in particular, it won't lead to anything good. Want to help? Find a child who is somewhat similar to your baby. Not in terms of appearance, but in terms of behavior and hobbies. Children are more likely to be friends with those they are similar to, a scientifically proven fact. Children are different, and your child will definitely find a friend. Here's how to teach your child to be friends with other children.
As for primary classes, this is a separate issue. And I can’t even briefly describe how best to behave for a child, what to do. But we know how to find friends, the same rule applies to children. There is always a person who can be a friend. Give your baby self-confidence, and he will come over and make friends with this very “his” friend.
Keep a positive attitude
A positive attitude is one of the most important requirements of friendship. It determines whether we will feel the desire to spend time with a person or not. Think about whether people enjoy communicating with you, and decide what needs more work.
Simple rules: say “thank you,” be supportive, ask questions, don’t be secretive, smile.
People don't like to be around negative people all the time. Researchers have found that when you speak well of someone, people tend to attribute those positive qualities to you, too. For example, if you tell a colleague that your boss is friendly and considerate, he or she will likely think that you are friendly and considerate. Conversely, if you complain that your boss is a narcissistic jerk, a coworker may notice some of these unpleasant qualities in you.
Don't wait for others to make the first move
You may feel vulnerable when you reach out to another person. But it may turn out that he is even more withdrawn and it is not easy for him to establish contact with a stranger. So just speak up. After all, what bad could happen to you?
In a relationship, you need not only to take, but also to give, to help other people. And most of the things we expect from friendship: trust, reliability, honesty - are built on reciprocity. Find out what others are missing, help them, and they may see you as a potential friend.
Don't wait for everything to happen on its own. Be active, invite people over, suggest going for a walk, and you will be surprised how many people will want to join you.
How to make friends after 30: 10 adult problems
Most of us manage to communicate only with family and colleagues, and even then under constant time pressure. Social networks somehow save us, but communication replaces it just like sweet candy replaces a full meal. The pleasant taste and feeling of hunger go away, but the body does not receive anything useful.
More on the topic: How to attract the attention of others
There are many factors that influence adult communication, including purely age factors - after 30, professional success and our own family are really important to us. In this bustle, we may simply lose sight of the fact that the support and trust of like-minded people is sorely lacking. What to do with friendship after 30 and where to look for people like you? We analyzed 10 common problems in adult friendships.
Tell me who is your friend?
In childhood, for a joint sandbox, it was enough that there was a peer in the yard. Now we look at what kind of person he is, how he behaves, what his interests are.
How to make friends? Choose people with a similar lifestyle. Life changes, and you have to accept it. Girls exchange addresses of sales, and mothers communicate on playgrounds.
Mistrust
As long as we were not betrayed, left alone, offended or accused, we could open up to everyone. Now we don’t want to get burned so easily.
How to make friends? Caution does not interfere with understanding that people can be different. After all, childhood naivety did not insure us against failures; such insurance does not exist at any age.
No time
We didn't have children, husbands, or elderly relatives, and school didn't seem as stressful as work life.
How to make friends? Family and work are also not always easy for us, but we still pay attention to it. Friendship requires the same. Consciously set aside at least an hour a week for meetings, calls and mutual exchanges, and you will see how quickly your friends will become closer to you.
Fear of taking the first step
The girl with the bows was approached by her mother by the hand, and although embarrassment got in the way, contact was still made. If you are a businessman in a formal suit, it is not so easy for you to show that you are not averse to chatting with your neighbor in the stairwell.
How to make friends? In the modern world there are many ways to change your image - go on vacation, sign up for language courses - get out of your boundaries, relax and be a sociable person.
Obsession with problems
All adult responsibilities have now become ours, and our heads are only occupied with paying bills, taking the car for inspection, and buying groceries for the family.
How to make friends? Friendship presupposes mutual interest; a tense person does not arouse the desire to communicate with him. Even a banal conversation about the weather or a compliment to a colleague can be the start of good affection.
Nothing to talk about
Everyone now has their own life, their own problems and experiences. Sometimes, when we find ourselves together in an elevator or at a table during lunch at work, we feel awkward, even if we have the time and opportunity to communicate.
How to make friends? The problem is our expectations. In our youth, we looked for joy in friendship, but now we try to maintain etiquette. It is important to relax and the theme will come from the environment.
I don't want to adapt
Now we are adults, important and know our worth. No more concessions and zero tolerance. Instead of a cheerful company, we end up with proud loneliness. After all, no one wants to adapt to us.
How to make friends? Without forgiveness there is no intimacy. Don’t worry, everyone is just as important as you and everyone will benefit from the fact that you understand this first. A lack of communication is worth paying for in minor difficulties.
Neglect of small contacts
Who knows where we will meet someone who will understand us better than anyone. Maybe it's a woman at the market that you refused to give advice to, or a colleague of your husband's that you're just jealous of.
How to make friends? The degree of hostility towards others also interferes with communication. It seems that all these connections are unimportant, but nevertheless, these are also people who have nothing bad to do with you.
Self-importance
How many of us thought about ourselves when we were small and young? Now your own individuality becomes the center of everything and first you want to promote your interests and get what is important to you.
How to make friends? The essence of friendship is interest in others. Do you really want to communicate with this or that person? Do you know what he likes to eat, where he goes on vacation and where he studied? Try asking and observe how you feel.
Search for a match
While we are young, we are close to our parents and in adulthood we mistakenly think that friends will replace such connections for us. But even though a friend is close in many ways, he cannot love you for who you are completely and unconditionally.
How to make friends? Can you say that you have something to interest people?
Are you interested in yourself, do you care about development, do you learn new things? People are drawn to those who are passionate about something and get results. First of all, this, and only then problems and expectations of support from friends.
Keep in touch
Relationships depend on how much time you spend with your friends. So think about how you will keep in touch. For example, before leaving the party, say that you liked everything and would like to do it again, and offer to exchange numbers or add each other on social networks. The next day you can thank the person for the pleasant time spent. Or later invite you to a birthday party. Or somewhere else.
Be consistent. Agree, friendship is unlikely to work out if you first have a good time, and then don’t write or respond for a whole month.
How to find a girlfriend, find the answer to this question
What is a real girlfriend
How to find a girlfriend is not an idle question at all. Many girls and women who have girlfriends or girlfriends will say that there is no problem finding a girlfriend. And yet, it very often happens that you are left without a friend. The reasons for this can be very different. We moved to another city, but my friend stayed in the same place. We got married, and having plunged into a new life, we forgot about our friends and lost them. Or maybe it never existed. Therefore, the question arises - how to find a girlfriend. A friend is not a friend with whom you can chat about this and that, discuss the latest fashion trends, talk about the weather and men. A true friend is a close and dear person who will share both grief and joy with you, will always come to the rescue, will not judge, will console you, and will give valuable advice. A friend is an outlet for revelations, a vest in which you can cry; having such a friend, you don’t need any psychoanalysts.
