It's not about you: 20 phrases on how to politely refuse a man without offending him

07.06.2019
Every girl has been in a situation where a person who is absolutely uninteresting to her shows sympathy. The girl delicately tells her boyfriend that a relationship with him is impossible. But many men perceive refusal to communicate as coquetry and flirting. How to send a guy off by correspondence so that he doesn’t get offended, but also doesn’t bother you anymore with messages, read our article.

Representatives of the fairer sex like the attention of men, but only with mutual sympathy. Intrusive, persistent suitors cause feelings of hostility and even fear. Having received a refusal, men write even more insistently, with pressure, offering to meet in order to charm a stranger on a date. In this case, you need to take the advice of psychologists on how to get rid of an annoying guy by correspondence and not become his enemy:

1. Formulate your messages clearly and clearly.
2. Do not use the mat until a certain time. If the gentle “groom” does not understand, you can move on to extreme measures.
3. Blacklist the insolent person.
4. Don't stoop to his level. Respond to negativity and insults by ignoring them.
5. Use humor.
6. Don't expect him to understand everything himself. By dragging out the conversation, the girl gives reason to hope for the further development of the relationship.
7. Be sure to indicate the reason for the refusal: married, have children, hate all men, lesbian, not happy with the groom’s age...
8. Respect his feelings. If a man is not a psycho or a maniac, but has really fallen in love, proceed carefully.

How to politely blow off a stranger on the street

If a stranger pesters you, you can refuse him in various ways - from polite phrases to a sharp refusal.

Common Phrases

You can refuse a polite young man with simple, soft phrases:

• I have a young man, and he will not like our communication.
• I'm not interested in dating. Let me pass.
• I'm married.

The last phrase should be used if you have a wedding ring or its imitation on your finger.

If the guy turns out to be persistent and continues to impose his company, you should use drier and stricter phrases:

• Sorry, but your company is unpleasant to me.
• I made it clear enough that I did not want to meet.
• Let me pass, otherwise I'll call the police.

Even with a sharp refusal, you need to behave civilly, without shouting or being rude. At the same time, you need to speak dryly and seriously, without using humorous notes in your voice.

Methods of manipulation

To reject a guy, you don’t have to engage in a frank dialogue with him. To do this, you can use some manipulation methods:

• Don't carry on a conversation . Pretend that the interlocutor’s speech does not cause any interest. If he asks questions, it is enough to answer in monosyllables, without going into details. When there is an awkward silence, the guy will most likely wish him a good day and back off.
• Take help from a friend . If your girlfriend doesn’t like the guy, you need to make him feel like a third wheel. To do this, you should talk about your own topics, go to the toilet together and pay a minimum of attention to the fan. Realizing that there is no chance for him, he himself will fall behind.
• Family man . If a man shows unwanted attention, he should unobtrusively talk about his family (real/fictional) or a loved one who should “come pick me up” soon.
• Wrong data . If you don’t want to offend or ignore a person, you can tell him a fake name, age, etc. If he asks for a phone number, you can leave it, but “accidentally” make a mistake. It’s better to write down the number yourself, promising to call him back later.

How to properly refuse a guy and not hurt his feelings, learn from the video below:

Funny

If you want to blow a guy off with humor, use the following techniques:

1. Want to get married

This is a risky method, but it works 90% of the time. Tell the guy directly that it’s time to go to the registry office and have more children. You will live as a large family, with your grandmother, mother, father, sisters and brothers in a 2-room apartment. The future husband is obliged to do everything around the house, tenderly kiss his mother-in-law in the mornings and evenings, and take care of his sick grandfather. If the picture turns out bright, the lover will disappear forever.

1. Hysterical

Throw hysterics, make a scandal for no reason, speak rudely to him, track his appearances online on VK, write nasty things to his friends. A difficult character will be the reason for a sad SMS from a guy saying that you cannot continue communication.

1. I have a lot of problems, let's solve them

“I need money, a lot of it now, I’ll come to your city, but I won’t be able to work - I’m lazy, at the same time I’ll take my mom and dad, they’re retired anyway. We’re leaving tomorrow, will you meet me?” Most guys respond to such SMS by blocking the girl’s account or completely ignoring her. If he almost agrees, but delays the moment of help, you need to write this: “I need a real man, not a rag. Goodbye!".

1. I'm pregnant from my ex, now you'll be our dad

Joyfully write a huge text that you met him on time, together you will overcome all difficulties with your baby. Surely the correspondence will end there.

Important! When sending a guy to four directions in a joking manner, do not use ambiguous hints. Delete phrases similar to flirting and emoticons from messages.

How to correctly refuse a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love

The guy needs to make it clear that a romantic relationship between you is impossible. To maintain friendly communication at the same time, you should use the following strategies.

Make him believe you're not right for him

The guy needs to be convinced that you are completely unsuitable for each other. The following recommendations will help with this:

• remember what things irritate him and constantly do them in front of him;
• write a list of the fan’s interests and, during conversations, provide critical feedback on each item written down;
• without ceasing to convince him that nothing will work out for you.

Find him another girl

A difficult method, but if successful, it will allow you to maintain the same relationship with your friend. To find a replacement, you need to understand what exactly attracts a guy to women. Having dealt with this, all that remains is to find a lonely girl of the right type in the circle of relatives and friends and arrange their “casual” meeting.

If you managed to match friends, in the future you don’t need to constantly get involved in other people’s relationships, so as not to become the “culprit” of an unsuccessful romance.

Confess your love for someone else

A good friend will not be able to lie about a non-existent boyfriend or husband and children, but he can confess his love for another. For him to believe this, he should:

• show him photos of your lover on your phone;
• often talk about your “beloved” and plans to win his heart;
• Spend more time with your lover in front of your unwanted suitor.

This strategy will be more successful if you find a man to play the role of a lover who agrees to play along a little and explain to the “competitor” that he has no chance.

Making excuses for lack of time

You can politely ignore the guy, citing a lack of time due to school or other matters. If he offers to go for a walk once, you need to clearly refuse and explain that there is no time for dates. Needless to say, we can go to the cinema someday. This way he will get false hope and will wait for an answer.

If the guy understands your strategy and triples the showdown with the phrases “Why are you lying to me! I know that you don’t have time just for me!”, there is only one option left - to send him straight away.

Confidential conversation

Having decided not to play around and honestly admit to a guy that you have no romantic feelings towards him, you should use the following tips:

1. Get alone . For a heart-to-heart conversation, you need to choose a convenient place with a minimum number of strangers and especially mutual friends. You can invite a guy for a walk or drink coffee in a calm coffee shop.
2. Be specific but polite . You need to speak seriously and confidently, so as not to create the impression of flirtation or frivolity. There may be notes of sadness and warmth in the voice so as not to offend the guy.
3. Make a compliment . You can start the conversation with a little praise. You shouldn’t praise him as a man, but just give a couple of compliments that he’s a good friend and fun to talk to.
4. Get to the point of the conversation . The most important part of the meeting, for which you need to prepare the correct wording. The refusal should be clear, but not offensive and not hurt male pride. What phrases you can use to turn a friend away, and which ones you can’t, are given in the table:

How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend

If a guy doesn’t give way and doesn’t understand a polite refusal, he can be kicked off in harsher ways.

Complete ignoring

This strategy requires compliance with two rules:

• clearly say “no” once under any pretext (not ready for a relationship, I love someone else, I’m in a hurry to meet, etc.);
• imagine complete loneliness - reading, listening to music, talking on the phone or doing other things, not paying any attention to the guy and not reacting to his words.

Ignoring an annoying boyfriend, you should not look him in the face, answer his questions or make any contact.

Scandal girl

This principle is the opposite of the ignoring strategy and involves complete concentration on the stick. You need to constantly demand something from him, throw tantrums and be jealous.

In order to deliberately quarrel, you can come to the meeting earlier and create a scandal due to his lateness. If a fan forgot flowers, you should directly reproach him or say that “queens are not greeted like that.” Afterwards you have to be indignant at everything that happens - bad coffee, bad restaurant, boring movie, etc.

Having secured the image of a demanding brawler, you can be sure that the guy himself will refuse such a relationship.

Materialist

If a guy doesn't show generosity, the best way to turn him off is to become a materialist for him. The following recommendations will help with this:

• order the most expensive dishes in restaurants;
• hint at the need for urgent repairs in the apartment;
• talk about the illness of a grandmother who needs expensive care;
• complain about a small salary and hint at looking for a rich suitor;
• make plans for an expensive wedding and honeymoon in the Maldives;
• talk about a husband who must buy a beauty salon and finance plastic surgery to correct his appearance.

Girlfriend "911"

You need to ask your girlfriend to start actively writing love messages during the date. Another trick is to register her contact in the phone in advance under a man’s name, next to which put a heart.

From the constant messages and your satisfied expression on your face while answering them, the guy himself will understand that nothing will happen to him. If he begins to express dissatisfaction, he can only confess his love for another.

Cramming

Before a date, you need to carefully study your boyfriend’s pages on social networks to find out his political views, preferences in music, cinema, etc. When you come to a meeting, you need to constantly interrupt him and say things that do not coincide with his position, and end each sentence with a quote from Internet.

If the guy is not an intellectual, you should also show maximum pedantry and hang on to his every word, correcting his mistakes. To completely ruin the evening, you can periodically repeat “But my ex said..., and he was absolutely right.”

Even the most persistent boyfriend will not tolerate stupidity and constant comparison with his ex.

Dirty

To turn a guy away from you, you need to show up on a date with a chipped manicure, dirty clothes and a slight smell of sweat. If the meeting takes place in a cafe, you can sip and drink, making different sounds.

To finally “finish off” him, all that remains is to speak out for support of everything natural and against cosmetic procedures such as depilation of armpits, legs and more.

How to send a guy off via text or text

Refusal via the Internet may offend a man, but it will save time and nerves. To do everything right, you should use one of these strategies:

• Long refusal . You need to pretend to be a busy person, without answering him for a long time (a lot of work, family, various incidents in life). Over time, the guy gets tired of this, and he stops pestering. If he understands that these are excuses, all that remains is to have a confidential conversation with him.
• Quick refusal . While maintaining civility and politeness of communication, you need to quickly and clearly refuse the guy by writing a short message with the following text: I am not in the mood for meetings and relationships. Sorry.
• I already have a boyfriend, and I don’t want to continue our communication.
• I figured myself out and realized that I didn’t need a relationship.
• You are a very good guy and will soon find your soulmate. I'm not interested in a relationship, sorry.

If after refusing via SMS the guy continues to bother you, all you have to do is block his number and completely ignore him in life.

General rules

1. Avoid ambiguity. The message should be short, clear and unambiguous.
2. Do not use obscene language or offensive expressions, especially at the first stage.
3. Try to blacklist the stalker.
4. Do not respond to insults and rudeness; ignore such attacks in silence.
5. Try to approach the situation with a sense of humor.
6. Don’t rely on the fan’s insight, speak directly, without hints.
7. Give an objective, compelling reason for refusal to communicate.
8. Be delicate and restrained.

The main rule is to maintain dignity, pride, inflexibility and restraint. Be on top and do not succumb to provocations from an obsessive admirer.

How to properly send off your ex

If your ex has returned and wants to renew the relationship, you should not give in to emotions and start a scandal. It is important to keep your cool and express your refusal without airing your dirty laundry. This can be done in two ways:

• Via SMS . If you still have feelings for a guy, it’s better not to date him, but to write a short message with a similar text: Sorry, but this relationship is no longer interesting to me. Please don't bother me anymore, otherwise I will block your contact.
• Do not write me anymore. I have a boyfriend and we love each other.

The nuances of a competent “lapel”

To begin with, you should clearly understand who we are talking about. In online correspondence, on the street or in a cafe, bar, club, you will behave differently than with an old friend who admitted romantic feelings, but these behavior patterns are united by one feature: politeness, honesty, clarity and specificity.

Yes, a rare girl will refuse flirting, especially if she feels desired, but in this situation flirting is inappropriate. The longer you delay, put off, or flirt with a guy, asserting yourself at his expense, the worse it will turn out for you in the end, so determination and unambiguous wording are important here - even for selfish reasons.

If we are talking about how to beautifully blow off a guy who wants to get acquainted, then it is enough to choose a behavior that is comfortable or natural for yourself and just stick to it. There are many ways to ward off a stranger:

• cultural;
• funny;
• beautiful;
• boorish or harsh.

The latter should be resorted to only when other methods have not helped. At the same time, you need to choose the “reject” option based on the specific situation; the main thing is to remain calm and answer politely.

How to gently tell the guy you're dating off

To turn your boyfriend off, you will have to have a serious conversation with him and choose the appropriate wording. Here are the options:

• My tastes and needs are constantly changing, but I see that you do not change, you stand in one place. Therefore, we will not be able to develop together as a couple, and we need to separate.
• Let's take a time out and sort out our feelings. Now it’s difficult for me to understand what I want and whether I’m ready to continue maintaining this relationship.
• I am grateful to you for all our wonderful moments and remember only the good things. But now I no longer feel the same way as before, and it’s better for us to leave. Please leave gracefully and live happily.
• My “rose-colored glasses” have fallen off, and I can no longer and do not want to ignore the obvious shortcomings. I've made my final decision and you won't change it. I'm leaving you and I'm no longer interested in communicating with you. Goodbye.

When breaking up with a guy, you don't need to feel guilty or show pity. You need to speak with confidence and calmness in your voice.

What to do if he doesn’t get it the first time

Does your partner not want to hear your intentions to break up? Stubbornly refuses to end the relationship and pretends that everything is fine? There is a way out, but here you will have to act without any specific instructions. Or rather, there is a clearly coordinated algorithm for a person’s behavioral state, compliance with which will help achieve the desired results. Including a list of those options when it simply doesn’t dawn on him that the girl doesn’t want to date him.

First, assess the situation and give yourself a brief description of it. Why does he refuse so vehemently? What's holding him back? Answering these questions will help you understand his feelings and thoughts. And they will give food for thought for the future. Perhaps the guy suffers from loneliness and is trying in every possible way to fill the void. Or he wants to make some other girl jealous by flirting with you.

Secondly, prepare the guy for a second conversation if he didn’t get it the first time. Accept the fact that he understood everything from a slightly different perspective. Suddenly, emotions from the conversation play in him, or the day was not a pleasant one and he simply missed the girl’s words past his own ears, etc. What is important to you is not that he listens to you, but that he hears you. Otherwise, he will continue to be rebellious and deny everything and everyone. Prepare, give him time to think about everything. But be prepared too - your intentions must be unshakable and your mind clear. Under no circumstances should you doubt your decision, otherwise the guy will feel it and try to convince you.

Thirdly, your arguments will be important. Agree, when you need to convince a person of something, you need such arguments on which the fate of your future choice will depend. And in this case everything is absolutely the same. Give the man those undeniable arguments about the bright and happy future that awaits him, but without you. Understanding that he can achieve more with another will give him strength and patience for the future. And then his understanding of the situation is not far off.

Common mistakes when refusing a guy

Psychologists note that when refusing a guy, girls make a number of classic mistakes:

• Lack of specifics . To maintain a warm relationship, girls speak politely and sympathetically, but the guy takes these as abstract hints and continues to court.
• Controversial behavior . You can’t blow a guy off and then 5 minutes later wink and smile at him. This makes him understand that the refusal is just a farce.
• Pulling back the moment . Phrases such as “I don’t have time right now” temporarily relieve unnecessary attention, but only complicate a serious conversation that hangs like a gray cloud.
• Rudeness and insults . If the boyfriend does not understand politeness, you can become harsh, but this will only worsen the relationship, which will be impossible to improve during further interaction, for example, at work.

There are many ways to refuse a guy. Having chosen the appropriate option, you need to prepare well and follow your plan. If a guy doesn’t understand well, all he can do is take the help of a friend or even a policeman.