Every girl dreams of the attention of the opposite sex. But sometimes it happens that a proposal to date comes from a guy with whom a representative of the fair half of humanity does not want a romantic relationship. How the girl behaves under the circumstances will determine whether they will remain friends in the future or turn into bitter enemies. In our article we will talk about how to avoid negative consequences and politely and honorably refuse a guy or man’s offer to date without offending him.
You recently broke up with your boyfriend
After a difficult breakup, we have ambivalent feelings. On the one hand, you want to quickly fill the void with a new romance, but on the other hand, fast-paced relationships usually fail immediately after a breakup. You constantly compare the new guy with your ex-lover and find flaws, behave differently, cannot open up to him and suspect him of cheating.
Or, on the contrary, you expect too much from this relationship, and then you are disappointed. It's better not to say "yes" to a guy if he asked you to date until you've moved on from your previous relationship. There are, of course, exceptions to the rules, but usually, trying to knock out a wedge with a wedge, we get burned even more.
But that doesn't mean you can't date a guy who wants a relationship with you. Keep him at a distance, and try to figure out whether a future with him is possible, or whether you’re just lonely and want to show your ex-boyfriend how quickly you forgot him. If a guy really needs you, he will wait. If not, then you don’t need it.
How to answer a guy or a man’s question “Maybe we can meet?” as a joke?
Sometimes such a positive answer can mark the beginning of a very cheerful, friendly and happy family relationship.
Possible answers:
- Maybe we'll meet!
- And what I get for this?
- It depends what “flows” from this acquaintance...
- You can, but only in exchange for sweets and bouquets!
- You can, but be extremely careful!
- If you are not afraid, then please!
- I want to warn you: this can be dangerous!
- If you are determined, please...
- Are you a generous man? If yes, I agree!
- How about we have something to drink together?
- I'll think about it, try to convince me!
- I can, but I need to ask my mom for permission first...
- If you are not afraid of consequences!
Berry out of your field
You've been alone for a long time and still can't meet the right guy. And then he appears - a guy who is ready to carry you in his arms, but at the same time you see that he is not exactly the one you need. Either you don’t have a soul for him, or you see obvious shortcomings in him that don’t suit you - but it’s clear to you that you’re unlikely to be together.
You have two options: immediately refuse him harshly and not waste time, or if you have absolutely nothing to do, say “yes.” Perhaps you need to take a good look at people before you like them. Give the guy a chance to prove himself and appear before you in a more favorable light.
It happens that the best romances happen with guys we didn’t pay attention to, but feelings arose gradually. Sometimes it’s better than throwing yourself into the deep end and then being disappointed in the person.
The guy offered to meet, what to do if you are not free
When a girl is busy, she often attracts other guys to her. They like her inaccessibility, and they feel like conquerors, seeking her favor. It depends on the girl how far she is willing to go when flirting with another guy. If she is not against his advances, he takes this as a green light and can ask her to date.
What to do in this case? If you are happy in a relationship, you are unlikely to have any doubts about how to respond to a guy who has attempted to go beyond courtship. You simply refuse him, and you won’t hesitate for a second. But if your relationship has not satisfied you for a long time, and you have not decided to end it for a long time, an offer to date from another guy can be decisive.
All you have to do is run into the arms of another guy and free yourself from the ties that bind you. But not all girls can so cynically start a new relationship, barely getting rid of the old ones. They want to break up on a humane basis, and not change the old guy for a new one.
Besides, the new guy isn't always what you need. It’s good if he came across at the right moment and helped get rid of the old attachment. The main thing is that it does not become another problem that you will need to get rid of. Don’t look for another savior, after all.
Kushnirenko Tatyana Olegovna
Good day Dasha!
Surely, you are a young and pretty girl and the attention of guys is quite natural. But I heard that of those who offered to meet you and build a relationship, you didn’t like anyone.
Dasha, you write that communication with the opposite sex is easy, difficulties begin when they express sympathy for you. This is true?
It’s as if something is happening inside you and there are certain sensations in the form of heat. and that’s when you refuse, and that’s when some unpleasant feelings arise. Maybe similar to disgust. or for something else.
I’m only guessing Dasha, but you can ask yourself a question within yourself:
“What could happen?” As if there is danger or it is becoming unsafe. And then you can ask yourself: “What might your feminine part be afraid of and act like this: for example, it starts to scare away - “be rude?” - perhaps questions for reflection will give you some clarity.
Dasha, you write that all the guys who offered to date you are not attractive to you. And perhaps this is due to choice and you are looking for a certain guy or some other sensations.
If we were working in person, I would Dasha clarify the question of the relationship with her father and ask you what kind of relationship there was between the parents or perhaps there was someone in the family who loved unrequitedly or someone who was loved, but he or she did not answer reciprocity. Or perhaps someone abandoned someone. Sometimes it can affect the present. That is, act in your family system. You need to look and explore and only then figure it out.
Try asking your family if there were any incidents or events.
I hope my comments have provided some clarity and lead you to realize something more. Sometimes even what has become available in terms of information works.
Have you already met him?
Is it possible to rebuild a relationship with someone with whom it once did not work out? In most cases no. Old problems will sooner or later resurface, even if the relationship is filled with romance at first. Surely the guy simply has nothing to do and cannot find anyone. If he was the initiator of the breakup, then he most likely regrets that he proposed to break up and wants to resume the relationship.
But where is the guarantee that after a while he will not leave you again? If your feelings have not yet cooled down, you can watch the guy for a while without agreeing to date him. You will see how much he needs to get you back and what he will do to achieve this.
Beautiful and persistent courtship awaits you, assurances of eternal love, and perhaps this will stir up your old feeling. Sometimes former lovers manage to rebuild their relationship, but this is rather an exception to the rule.
How to say yes
If the situation is simple, in which everything is correct and clear, then consent will not cause any difficulties. The guy proposed a relationship to the girl, therefore he likes her. She likes him too. In this case, the proposal “let’s meet” can be answered simply: “Why not? Let's try".
If the girl finds herself in the situation discussed in the first paragraph, then it is better to choose a simple way out. Confused at the moment when the guy suggested dating, putting herself in an uncomfortable situation with a random phrase, the girl should try to find a way out of it herself. Of course, you can wait until the guy reminds you of his proposal again, and then simply answer: “Okay, I agree.”
But, firstly, this may not happen; the guy will think that you don’t want to date him and will not impose himself. Secondly, he may think that the girl is making faces or selling herself. Guys also often create problems where there are none. And so, while the girl suffers from her indecision, the guy takes offense at her, pointedly proposing to date someone else. As a result, both are upset and dissatisfied.
Therefore, it is advisable, after feelings and thoughts return to normal, to make an effort and approach the guy yourself. It's better to turn this whole situation into a joke. Here are several possible options for suitable phrases from this point of view:
- "Hello! You recently proposed to me - is it still valid? Then I accept it! So what do we do next?
- “You may not believe me, but all this time I have been thinking about your proposal. You know, this is probably a very reasonable proposal, so we should try it.”
- “I’m sorry that last time I said something stupid to you. Apparently, out of joy, all smart thoughts left my head. So where did we end up there?”
After the situation has been resolved, at the first opportunity you can tell the young man about what you had to endure. Also, in a joking manner, explain to the guy that out of confusion you put yourself in this awkward situation, and then frantically looked for a way out of it.
These small displays of trust usually have a beneficial effect on the relationship. But if this seems inappropriate to you, it is better to simply ignore this topic and try to make this unpleasant situation forgotten by both you and your boyfriend.
If you want to say yes, but something is stopping you, you can let the guy know both. That is, you answer him with consent, but explain that not everything is so simple. For example, the proposal “let’s meet” can be answered in the style of “I wish I could, but there is such a circumstance...”.
What follows is an explanation (if possible), from which it becomes clear why the girl cannot simply agree to a relationship and that’s it. By the way, perhaps the guy himself will offer an acceptable way out of the situation.
If a man starts talking about meeting in person
The situation is a little more complicated when a guy offers to meet in a personal conversation with you. The main difficulty is that if the offer comes unexpectedly, you will not be able to calmly navigate. If you are afraid of appearing easily accessible, ask for a short “delay.” For example, say that you need to check your plans for the day, and invite the fan to return to this issue a little later. This way, you will have a few minutes or even hours to put your own thoughts in order and adequately respond to a man.
How to say no
This is perhaps a more difficult task, especially if you want to maintain a good relationship with a young man or try not to hurt him. By the way, it is best to do just this, since a sense of tact, respect for the feelings of others, and goodwill will ultimately bring more benefit to the girl, having a positive impact on her reputation.
When refusing your best friend, you need to exercise maximum caution. Moreover, such a situation can even be prevented. A girl can't help but feel that the guy she treats as a friend actually cares about her.
Therefore, in order not to jeopardize your friendship and avoid getting into an awkward situation, you can periodically let the guy know that you definitely do not intend to date him. The following phrases can help with this:
- “It’s so good that I have such a friend. Still, no female friend can replace a male friend. Promise that this will be the case!”
- “You are my best friend. If you ever go crazy and fall in love with me, I will consider that you have taken my friend away from me. I will never forgive you for this."
- “They say that there is no friendship between a man and a woman. This is complete nonsense! I just adore you as a friend, but as a man you wouldn’t be my type at all!”
If, despite all your efforts, your friend still takes a risk and proposes to you to meet, do not get out of it, answer directly, as friends should do. Depending on the situation and the characteristics of your relationship, you can choose any phrase, for example: “Well, no, I beg you, you’re about to ruin everything! I can’t meet you physically - you’re already like a relative to me. And I still wouldn’t love you more than I do now.”
In other cases, you can simply politely and kindly refuse the young man, citing, for example, strong incompatibility of characters or reluctance to enter into a serious relationship with anyone at this stage.
Rely on your feminine intuition, but do not forget about common sense. Who knows, maybe this lucky guy is your destiny?
