Does communication on a social network have the prospect of developing into a serious relationship? Such cases, although rare, are known to psychologists, especially when online acquaintances live in the same city.
Having met online, people sometimes become not only good pen pals, but also a loving couple and even a family. But when you communicate not in person for a long time, it is not easy to decide on such a step as asking a girl to meet.
Girls are unpredictable - some like romantic courtship, bright signs of attention and a clear desire to win their heart, others are attracted by similar interests, simplicity and light humor in communication. But the most important thing that girls of any type of character will certainly appreciate is sincerity, that is, the complete absence of falsehood.
How to do it beautifully in VK
If you are confident in the sincerity of your feelings, this is still not enough for a girl to believe in them. Even if she has a reciprocal crush on you, doubts will overcome her until the end (some girls change their minds about going on a date at the last minute). Therefore, for the first step - an invitation - it is better to use the environment in which the girl feels comfortable - for example, invite her to meet through the VK network (rather than asking for her phone number to call).
If you have been communicating on VK for a long time, you probably have favorite topics for conversation or for exchanging links or pictures. Before asking a girl to meet on VKontakte, think about how to do it beautifully or at least cutely in order to make her smile and like her.
For example, if she's amused by your joke, you might remark, "It looks like we're having a good time, don't you think?" If the answer is affirmative, you can add: “Do you want to continue the evening in such and such a park/cafe/cinema?” This will sound unobtrusive, but at the same time it will let her know that you are initiating a personal meeting.
Another way to beautifully invite a girl to meet on VK is to intrigue her with a gift: “I have a small present for you, can you tell me how I can meet its recipient?” In this case, the gift should not be too valuable, so as not to scare away, but also not a complete trinket, so as not to cause disappointment. A box of her favorite chocolates, a small stuffed toy, or one beautifully packaged garden flower will do.
It should just be a nice sign of attention
Fear has big eyes
Such is the nature of men: they are endowed with courage, courage and physical strength, but in matters of the heart they have a difficult time without a good adviser. Often self-confident guys, when they see the chosen one of their heart, lose their self-control and cannot put together a few words. Moreover, some individuals prefer to suffer alone, watching from afar as others flirt with the girl they like. And this is only because they themselves cannot find the courage to come up and speak. The situation urgently needs to be taken under control, otherwise the problem in relationships with the opposite sex will only worsen.
Examples of phrases suggesting to meet in person
Young people often get overly nervous when thinking about how to ask a girl to meet in person. Many people think that there are certain recipes or templates for the correct phrases. In fact, there are none.
The main thing a guy should be guided by is common sense.
Therefore, the words should not contain a bunch of epithets, cumbersome quotes and similar drama. The more natural the phrases sound when asking a girl to meet, the better.
Correct
If you're the kind of guy who finds it easier to memorize a couple of common phrases than to rely on instinct, start by remembering what not to say. Examples of incorrect phrases: “Let’s meet because:
- I have never met girls like you in my life;
- you are my ideal, which I have been looking for all my life;
- Without you my life has no meaning.”
Even if all this is true, the girl most likely will not want to date a guy after such emotional outpouring. Firstly, they are perceived as a bad game with a good face, and secondly, who knows what a young man in love is capable of without measure, it is better to keep him at a distance.
What are the correct phrases to ask a girl to date? For example:
- “I really like you - it’s always so easy with you, it seems we have a lot in common”;
- “We’re having a good time online, maybe we should see each other?”
- “Don’t you think that we have long become a little more than just friends, at least I hope so and want to date you.”
Don’t memorize these phrases, memorized sentences sound false, and the fear that you will forget them will make you indecisive, and this is not the best quality for a man. Just keep them in mind as an option.
If a girl has a positive attitude towards jokes, you can do this
Original
If a girl is a lover of surprises, try asking her to date you in an original way. Play on her curiosity - write that you will hide a gift for her in such and such a place in such and such a square or park. Wait for her to arrive and, when she finds your message and gift in the indicated place (we have already said what this could be), suddenly appear from an “ambush” (for example, from a nearby cafe). At least the first meeting will already take place.
Romantic
There are girls who expect to be asked to date in some romantic way. If your chosen one is one of these, send her a beautifully designed date invitation letter from your address with the signature “secret admirer.” Of course, she will understand that it is you, but she will certainly appreciate the humor with which this proposal will be made.
So that she agrees
There are no recipes that guarantee a girl’s consent to a meeting. In order for her to agree to date, it doesn’t matter how you propose it, what matters is how she treats you. Therefore, you must be at least half sure that she feels about you about the same as you feel about her - she trusts you, misses you. All these signs can slip through correspondence and are difficult to miss.
Don’t overestimate yourself, arrogance is not the best friend of a young man in love.
You need to offer a girl a meeting when you are almost sure that she doesn’t mind seeing you in person: “I confess, I’ve become attached to you and I dream of seeing you, do you mind meeting?”
In your own words
Huge opportunities are provided by choosing phrases from your own vocabulary and experience of communicating with a specific girl. You already know her preferences, you have some secrets or jokes known only to you, you have developed your own style of correspondence. Based on this knowledge, you can find the most true, necessary, and most importantly, your own words that you just have to offer to a girl, and she will respond with consent to date. For example: “Do you remember that kitten that almost got hit by a car (in such and such a video)? My friends took him in, and you and I can visit him.”
Psychologists also allow this option: “When you are angry and say that you are ready to bite me, I dream of making you angry so that you come and bite me.” It may seem cheesy, but don't be afraid to make any forward moves to dot the i's.
The main thing is that the words are spoken sincerely
Your manner of behavior4
And so, you are fully armed (at least it seems so to you). It's time to move on to direct action. And yet, how to start a conversation with a girl in order to offer her a relationship?
- Take an interest in her affairs. The girl should feel that you are really interested in how she defended her coursework, what her cat got sick with and how she plans to spend the summer.
- Offer assistance. Difficult seminar ahead? Suggest going to the library or internet café together to prepare. Does your chosen one need support in a new endeavor? Great! “Why don’t we plan to train together? I’ve also wanted to take up badminton for a long time!” And women really love it when men take it upon themselves to solve their problems. Well, how can one not understand the seriousness of your intentions if on Saturday morning you crawl out of bed and rush across the city to help her carry heavy bags from the supermarket to the 5th floor or escort a basket with your beloved pet to the veterinarian?
- Invite somewhere. The classic option is to have dinner or drink coffee at a newly opened summer restaurant. The offer of a joint trip on an excursion to another city will let the lady know about your serious intentions. Does the girl understand what she is “signing up for” in this case? This means planning common leisure time, going to a sporting goods store together to buy new sneakers, backpacks and sleeping bags. Did you agree? Great! You have every chance.
- Start a conversation about a serious relationship. But not about yours specifically, but in general. She will take the hint and, if she is not interested in you, she will directly make it clear that she (well, for example) will not be ready to get close to someone soon. If the girl answers that she has long been touched by the sight of couples in love and would not mind starting dating someone, then you can safely ask her on a date.
- Show you care. But in moderate doses. It’s not worth literally blowing off specks of dust from her, but expressing concern about the fact that she’s returning from class late at night alone is just right. And also a morning SMS message in the style of “It’s -10 outside, just try not to put on a hat.” !” will bring the lady to tenderness.
- Give cute and necessary gifts. Just don’t buy expensive gifts, as you will put the girl in an awkward position, thereby obliging her to give a return gift. If a girl collects something (for example, books by her favorite writer), you can present her with a brand new printed copy, which she will be delighted with. Even if she has something similar, believe me, she will still come! Or, for example: “You signed up for training recently, right? I thought a protective mat (gloves, bandages, etc.) would be useful to you. Take care of yourself!". Isn't it really cute?
- Do something for her. Option 1: “While I was reinstalling Windows for you, I took the initiative to download a couple of programs for organizing files. It will be easier for you to work this way.” Option 2: “I heard you’re going to law school? I decided to help you and made a selection of electronic resources with cool preparatory courses.”
Under what circumstances is it better to do this?
Sometimes a phrase said at the wrong time or at the wrong time becomes a “point of no return” in a barely warm relationship. Therefore, choose the moment how and when it is better to ask a girl to meet:
- Assess her mood, if she is not in a good mood, do not pester her with suggestions, but ask what happened, sympathize. If it turns out that her sadness was not worth a damn, you can joke: “Well, I wanted to ask you out on a date, but you’re not in the mood.”
- Don’t choose “peak hours” for a serious proposal, when she just popped online for a minute to exchange greetings and get back to business. In a hurry, they won’t answer you anything worthwhile.
- There is no need to offer to meet even at the moment when she decided to share with you some serious problem - relationships with parents, sister, friends, teachers, and the like.
The best moment is in the wake of the usual correspondence, when the topic is “cool evening, right?” It’s easy to translate into a field of pleasant communication with her. Then your proposal will be both appropriate and, possibly, successful.
List of common mistakes
Young people who are considering the possibility of asking a girl to date are making unforgivable mistakes. The bulk is allowed due to the illusions that young men tend to build, as well as due to inexperience.
Therefore, it is worth telling in what situations you should definitely not try to create a pair:
- There are no reactions or close contact. Romantic relationships are built according to a certain development scenario. Violating it means failure. First, non-verbal contacts are established (looks, gestures), after which communication is established, then trust is born. And only at this moment can you think about how it is more convenient and comfortable to invite a girl you know to be friends. If the sequence is not followed or there is no response from the partner, the likelihood of building a normal long-term relationship is equal to zero.
- There is not enough time to make a decision. Young men, especially in adolescence, show excessive assertiveness. Therefore, a girl’s proposal to start dating comes on the first date. However, such a decision is reckless. You have not known each other long enough to understand how similar your views on life and relationships are. And the girl will not be able to make a decision after one or two hours of time spent together, so she will be confused. As a result, the young man will lose the opportunity to build a relationship, since she most likely will not come to the next date.
- Everything came together naturally. Sometimes one meeting radically changes your outlook on life. A young man and a girl see each other, start a conversation and can no longer part. They are happy to be together, hugging and kissing each other. There were no dates, just friendly meetings. And there was no proposal to start a relationship, which is scary. A young man in this situation can make a big mistake - make an offer to become a couple. If two people have feelings for each other and spend time together, then such a formality is unnecessary. Therefore, when a girl hears such a phrase, she will be surprised and perhaps upset - she thought that you were already a couple.
- If both are adults. The young man considers it obligatory to use words to designate the territory of influence - to invite his friend to become a girl. However, at a certain age, phrases seem unnecessary and inappropriate. It is normal to say something like this at 12 or 14 years old, since it is not noticeable whether the partner understands the seriousness of affection. If you are both over 20 years old, you spend all your free evenings together, and you consider each other’s friends practically common, then announcing your desire to become a couple “officially” is stupid.
Inviting a girl to become a couple is an important stage in relationships between opposite sexes. In the situation, it is important to remain a man in any reaction of the girl, showing the intention to win attention.
How to ask on a date
If you managed to ask a girl to meet you, and it turned out beautifully, then you probably think that you are on your first date, on which a lot will depend. But what if she came to the first meeting just out of curiosity, and not as your girlfriend? How to ask her out next time?
Obviously, the date should be a natural continuation of the first meeting if you both felt comfortable. In this case, you can simply suggest: “Let's go somewhere else?”
If the girl made it clear that she was disappointed, or she initially had other plans, do not rush to despair and burn all bridges. Perhaps she hastened to conclusions, and you will still have a relationship, but later. The main thing is not to rush or insist.
What should you not do?
Regardless of feelings and desires, the guy needs to think in advance and prepare for two scenarios for the development of events - the girl’s consent or refusal. Whatever the outcome, you need to behave competently and with dignity, and not give in to emotions and feelings. Girls value endurance, balance and moral maturity in men, even in the most unforeseen circumstances. There is no need to be persistent and intrusive, and the offer can be postponed to a later date.
What to talk about on the first date
The first date should not be perceived as passing a state exam - be yourself, talk about what you have always talked about with her. There is no need to show that you are ready to jump for joy that it has come (even if you are ready). Rejoice quietly, be gallant, do not chat incessantly, but listen to what she says, perhaps she herself will give a lead for conversation. If the girl is silent, take the initiative into your own hands - ask if she has seen such and such a movie, if she likes such and such an actor, if she likes trips to the sea - and stuff like that. If you look at it, you still don’t know each other very well, so you can ask and talk about anything that does not go beyond the bounds of decency.
How to communicate with a girl
If you have absolutely no experience communicating with girls, remember the main rule - you cannot behave as cheekily with girls as you do with your friends. Even if you have a friendly relationship, do not turn a girl into a guy-shirt. Many people are disappointed by rudeness, but girls who love rudeness also exist. Therefore, it is impossible to give unambiguous and universal advice on how to communicate with a specific girl. Just try to get to know her preferences well before the date.
Any relationship should not start with deception.
What is a friend zone
There are situations when a girl doesn’t seem to mind communicating with you, but she doesn’t let you closer than all her other friends, she tries to stop your attempts to get closer to her. There are several explanations for this behavior - for example, she still does not trust you or cannot understand her feelings. Or he just keeps you in the so-called “friend zone” - the zone of friends, and nothing more. Such discrepancies often happen in life, so don’t be upset - there will definitely be a girl who will feel more affection for you than friendship.
