Who handles separation easier?

From this article you will learn how men cope with breaking up with a woman and what difficulties they may have.

When people break up, it is always unpleasant and painful. It’s not for nothing that they say that separation is a little death. When a relationship changes for the worse, a painful period begins. Women have no idea that men also experience breakups and find it difficult to make decisions. So don’t think that he is heartless and doesn’t feel anything. Girls often become depressed and express their emotions. But the man himself looks cold and indifferent outwardly. But no one knows what's inside. Let's talk about how men handle breakups and why they do certain things.

Who copes with a breakup easier - a man or a woman?

A woman experiences a lot after a breakup and this is immediately obvious. Nothing makes her happy, she can become depressed. All day long she thinks only about the man and the best moments with him. It seems that there is no way to console her at all.

When it comes to the question of how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, the answer is somewhat different. Outwardly, he always looks cold and indifferent. But that doesn't mean it's really true.

From childhood, men are raised to be strong. They are taught to hide their feelings and be strong. If a guy is sensitive, he is often called a “whiner.” Therefore, gradually men learn to be strong. They are always calm and indifferent in appearance, but at the same time they have a whole storm inside them and are not even worse than women. Often friends don’t even realize what a man is going through, but they support him.

If the separation was a mutual decision, then people do not suffer so much. After all, there are no more feelings. It happens that exes remain on good terms. Then they both feel relieved when the situation is resolved calmly. And even after starting a new relationship, no one experiences any feelings of guilt or conscience. But if a man still loves a woman, then he will have a hard time going through the breakup.

What does it mean?

It's normal and natural to feel terrible after a breakup. The chemical effect of love is similar to drug intoxication, and separation is similar to the withdrawal syndrome of an addict in the absence of a dose of a substance that usually provides a high level of dopamine. They say they experience approximately the same longing for cocaine after parting with it.

Our brains are quite capable of coping with both addiction and breakup. He just needs time. Don't rush yourself: you can process your emotions as long as you need to.

In a survey I conducted for my Telegram channel, 58% of people reported that they had lost a loved one one to five years ago, while 66% of respondents noted that they still felt pain.

Consider this an illness from which you need to recover (by the way, severe stress actually leads to a drop in immunity and increases the risk of contracting all sorts of viruses in addition to reactive depression).

Understanding that some of these heartbreaking feelings are not in the soul, but in the body, gives some relief and a sense of control. We can more or less control our body and make it experience a little less stress and get a little more pleasure.

There is no need to undermine the already unbalanced reward system with alcohol and drugs (at least, it is better to know the limits of drunken grief if you couldn’t resist). Help your dopamine. Of the useful entertainments, he most likes movement, knowledge and the fulfillment of small short-term goals. The reward system will reward you with a boost for making and following through on plans, whether it's cleaning the house, watching those long-postponed movies, trying to go for your first run in three years, or even clearing out the spam in your inbox until it's completely empty.

This is why many people, after a breakup, make amazing personal progress in sports and education, because they free up a large resource of attention and motivation.

Communication with a close circle helps to get a little joy and peace: family, friends, like-minded people - the brain “loves” social acceptance. And, of course, we must not forget about healthy relaxation methods: walks in the fresh air, massage, meditation and various relaxation techniques.

How a man experiences a breakup with a woman, a guy with an adult woman: psychology

How do men feel?
Now let's find out how a man handles breaking up with a woman. In general, if a guy left or is to blame for the breakup, then he is overcome by difficult experiences.

So, during a breakup, a man is overcome by such emotions as:

Discomfort . All men love coziness and comfort, and when he breaks up with a woman, his usual way of life changes. Everything in the house will remind you of the woman, no matter how much you don’t want to forget it
Fear . It comes from discomfort. It seems to a man that he is weak and defenseless. This unsettles him
Yearning . If there are feelings, then the melancholy will be strong. The man will feel pain and will want to see his beloved
Jealousy . Even if a man initiates the separation, he will still be jealous of the woman. He will be upset that she has someone else

Despite all this, not everyone understands that relationships need to be worked on. If a guy loves and appreciates a girl, then he will break up with her only as a last resort. Regardless of the reason for the breakup, he will suffer, but his experiences will result differently from those of a woman.

For example, he will forget himself in alcohol or immediately find a new girl in order to also escape from his worries. Outwardly, he will be calm, but excessive demonstration of a new passion is evidence that he is bored. Some seek adrenaline from racing or dangerous sports. In addition, it can be aggression. In this way a man expresses all his feelings.

In fact, for men, separation does not go away quickly either; wounds take a long time to heal. And there are often doubts that the right choice has been made.

Social background of separation

You may feel discomfort and even shame when explaining to people you know that you and your partner have broken up. You have to face not only internal uncertainty, but also external uncertainty: the future you planned will never happen again - just as the image of your future self has disappeared forever.

I. Uncertainty and fear of loneliness

All these worries have only an indirect relation to love and its loss. We feel similar stress when we graduate from school or college, lose a job, or move to another country. Uncertainty is the main stress factor here. Our brain is generally not very adapted to uncertainty and suddenness, but any novelty soon becomes commonplace for it.

But uncertainty guarantees you freedom of action. The period after breaking up with a long-term partner is one of the most fruitful for reassessing values and setting new goals, because at such a moment a huge number of obligations are removed from you, and you now have more maneuver to radically change your life.

We may be troubled by the fear of loneliness. It may seem like we will never be able to love again or be happy. Pictures of happiness, success and established life can overwhelm the assertion of the superiority of paired creatures over single ones. Watching popular movies about love only exacerbates the feeling that something has gone wrong in your life.

II. "Fake Love"

The main mistake we make when thinking about past happiness is the pop culture version of love that is demonstrated in popular films, songs and fairy tales. Love should be stable, equal, begin with passion, quickly result in a wedding (or the formation of a modern monogamous couple) and then last forever.

It seems to us that if our love ended, then it was a fatal mistake and generally not true love. This statement is false.

Love is valuable as an experience: the experience of knowing another, oneself, the experience of overmotivation and caring-inspired actions, the experience of accepting another - and being accepted by others. This is a unique experience that will stay with you even many years after your pain has gone and you have forgotten many of the details that you remember now. The end does not diminish the value of love in the same way that the death of a person does not diminish the significance of those actions and feelings that he performed and experienced while alive.

The brain is plastic. It responds to intense experiences and adapts to them. The storm of emotions passes gradually, because if you suddenly interrupt the entire complex chemical process that occurs in the brains of two people in a couple, you can cause serious harm to the entire system. She must come to balance on her own and is quite capable of this.

Why is it impossible to forget a woman after a breakup?

Why is it difficult to forget a woman?
When girls are interested in how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, they think about when he will forget everything that happened. Breaking up is always difficult, and if he was not the initiator, then it will be doubly difficult for him. And it often really happens that a man cannot forget a woman.

This happens in the following situations:

Fear of loneliness . This is the main reason why you don’t want to let go of the past. After all, before you did everything together, but now you have to do everything alone. And from this a person gets lost.
Faith in the only love. It's romantic, sure, but face the harsh reality. There may be several partners in life who can give happiness. You can’t cling to the idea that your only chance has been missed.
Follows her ex on social networks . Perhaps after breaking up you will remain friends with each other. This is not the best solution. You can sometimes, of course, find out how your partner is doing, but this can become an obsession.
The past is idealized. Some time after parting, all the bad things are forgotten and only the good things remain. But be realistic. If everything was fine, then you obviously would not have broken up. So we must accept this fact.
Regret about what was done or not done . In some places it was possible to remain silent, but in others it was the other way around. Maybe everything would be different. If thoughts about this constantly arise, then you blame yourself. Maybe this is true, but you need to learn from mistakes and not think about them constantly.
You are in shock . People are not always ready for separation and therefore they may be in shock. You lose trust in people and doubt your actions. Believe me, it's not worth it. There is no need to look for reasons, live in the present and think about the future.
I want to become the person I was in the relationship. Sometimes men don't even miss a woman, but the time with her. Many people idealize first love. If you imagine that the relationship will return, then everything will be different and you yourself understand it.
You continue communication . If after separation communication continues and the man’s feelings are alive, then this will be torment for both. Instead of moving on, you will always remember the past. So if you have already broken up, then define boundaries and keep contact to a minimum.
Dissatisfaction with the current partner . Yes, the reason is banal - I just don’t like the new relationship. If you are trying to idealize a new person, then it is better to break up with him. The current girl will not change, and when she returns back she will have to face the shortcomings that caused the breakup. So you better take a break.

What mistakes should not be made?

On the path of survival after a breakup, it’s easy to take a wrong turn, waste time and energy on something that ultimately won’t help at all, or even make it worse.

Register on the LovePlanet dating site and look for a new guy. And to cope with a breakup in a healthy way, learn what not to do:

Don't chase your thoughts. Think whatever you want, let whatever comes to mind exist. Sooner or later you will part with these thoughts when you realize that in reality they have no place. Thinking is not harmful. It is harmful to implement your plans at such moments.
Don't get into another relationship. You are out of balance and need attention, warmth and affection, but due to emotional confusion you do not seem like your real self. New love looks like a great opportunity to forget, but with a high probability it will end in even greater suffering.
Don't suppress your feelings and don't blame yourself for them. Don’t think that you’re a sentimental fool, don’t forbid yourself to feel what’s happening to you, don’t run from it.
Don't hang out on your ex's profile for hours, looking at his photos and posts.
Don't play Mrs. Marple and don't look for reasons to break up. Do not arrange surveillance, which will help determine whether he is struggling there in anguish and agony or is already having fun recklessly.
Don’t try to dramatically demonstrate on social networks how great you are. This is a cheap trick that no one buys anymore.
Don't write huge letters on your or his profile about everything you think about him and your relationship. Writing such letters is useful, but it is better to either keep them to yourself or burn them.
Don't throw mud at him. You were together, you chose him. This means that by insulting him, you insult both your choice and yourself.
Don't start guerrilla wars. Do not divide mutual friends into his and yours, do not try to turn them against him.

Now you are fully armed and know what mistakes you shouldn’t make. To completely forget your offender, go to the rating of the best dating sites, look for a new guy and never remember your ex.

Tell us in the comments:

What do you usually do to please yourself after a breakup?
How long have you been sad?
What thoughts help you come to your senses?

Why does a man cry in front of a woman when breaking up?

Some girls, when they think about how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, are faced with the fact that he begins to cry. Why is this happening? And this makes you break up.

In general, men are also people and they also have emotions. Someone is too emotional. So men can cry when it’s hard for them. Moreover, it is not easy to part with him when you have feelings.

It also happens that a man’s feelings are very strong, and he himself is to blame for the fact that you break up. He can be on his knees, begging for forgiveness and crying. This means that he repents of what he did.

It's not over yet

It also happens that separation in the same couple occurs several times. This happens because the man or woman is not ready to take full responsibility for the decision made. If both are in psychological childhood.

Sometimes partners believe that they can change. And this too can be. But do not forget that with any separation, a person is traumatized. And begin to get away from pain in all the ways that were described above.

Sometimes, in order to maintain a relationship and be in a harmonious union, it is not necessary to break up several times in order to convey to your partner what you don’t like. It is important to learn to talk while in a couple and hear each other.

Why is a man aggressive, he gets angry, he insults a woman after breaking up?

Why is a man angry?
When answering the question of how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, it is important to consider such moments as anger and insults. Indeed, some men stoop to such a level. They can act in different ways - tell everyone nasty things, post photos “just for him” on social networks.

Typically, aggression indicates that a man feels weak and powerless. You hurt his pride. He believes that he was abandoned and deceived. Even if during the parting he did not show it and behaved calmly, then inside he definitely had a whole ocean of emotions. He is definitely against your breakup, he thinks that you acted stupidly and unfairly.

What exactly are the reasons for this behavior is up to you to decide. Perhaps you really played on his feelings, or maybe you changed him? It happens that jealousy is the cause of aggression. In this case, there is no one to blame - only yourself. You will have to apologize and explain that you regret your action. Only this will calm the aggressor.

Although, he may express aggression due to pettiness or vindictiveness. There is nothing you can do here, you just have to wait until everything goes away, and as a last resort, go to court. Well, in the future, stay away from such people.

Stages of male experiences

When they leave, it hurts. But each person experiences pain differently. Therefore, it would be wrong to paint everyone with the same brush.

Much depends on the character of a person, his environment and life circumstances

Some cope with the situation relatively calmly and quickly. It torments others for years, leaving psychological trauma and scars on the heart.

For most men, common points can be identified in the form of four stages of separation:

Denial - what is happening seems like a joke, a misunderstanding, or another test for lice. Your beloved is about to come to her senses and call you back.
Anger. When the seriousness of the situation dawns on the man, anger begins to take hold of him. The abandoned husband wonders how such a vile betrayal could be committed. Unlike sadness, the stronger sex usually does not hold back anger. A bucket of verbal dirt is poured out at your ex. Mutual acquaintances are immediately informed about what a bitch she really is - she offended such a person! A man does nasty things deliberately because he doesn’t want to suffer alone.
Nadezhda - the guy already seems to have come to terms with the situation. But the slightest reason or even a memory can return him to the stage of denial, only more meaningful. Now a man will not sit and wait until the issue is resolved on his own. He will take matters into his own hands and conduct a special operation to return his beloved.
Depression - when the plan fails and hope is completely lost, the worst will begin - the realization that nothing can be returned. At this stage, men wallow in their grief and have no idea what to do next.

Then there is a branching. Psychologically stable individuals move on to the next stage - a new life. They continue to worry, grief does not disappear in one day.

Gradually, sadness is replaced by other emotions received from new acquaintances, travel and career success.

One day a person catches himself thinking that the pain has gone away

Some men find it more difficult to cope with adversity. Sometimes this takes a long time, up to several decades. The rest are even less lucky - they get stuck in depression, devoting their whole lives to suffering about their past love. In such advanced cases, two things can improve matters: the help of a psychologist and a miracle.

Stages of a man's experience after a breakup

Does a man miss a woman after a breakup?

A very common question when you think about how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, is he bored? In fact, a man can deny that he was bored, because a real man should not indulge in suffering. In such a situation, certain signs will help determine how true his words are.

After exactly how long he starts to get bored depends on the person and his feelings. As soon as he writes to you, you can be sure that he misses you. Or he will remind you of himself in another way.

If he wrote to you that he misses you, then this is true, but you can check this fact. Perhaps he doesn’t say anything, but just starts liking, writing beautiful comments and sending postcards. This is how he makes himself known, but he may be afraid to take the first step and will wait for it from you.

By the way, men do not always behave carefully. Some get confused and begin to behave annoyingly. Jealousy awakens in them. They begin to actively show attention and even seem to impose themselves.

Results

Contrary to popular belief, boys and girls experience a breakup equally strongly. Mental torment in men is sometimes even worse. The myth that has developed and taken root in the mind is based only on external manifestations of feelings. In addition, many people judge behavior by looking at photos on social networks of guys smiling surrounded by friends. The photo will not convey inner emotions. Focus on your feelings. If the breakup was a mistake, don't be afraid to share it with your ex-passion, just don't do it right away. Think about your and his actions, weigh the negative and positive aspects of the relationship, remember why you loved him and what started to irritate him. And most importantly, do not act as others expect from you. Be yourself, because only two people know what’s going on inside a couple.

Have you managed to get your relationship back? Write in the comments how long did you miss your ex-partner?

Why doesn't a man let a woman go after a breakup?

Why doesn't the man let go?
In some situations, it is more important to understand not even how a man copes with breaking up with a woman, but why he does not let go after breaking up. At the same time, he may not hold the woman. You just communicate, he is eloquent in words, but in reality he does not confirm this in any way. And you no longer feel your value and need. It turns out that the man does not hold, but does not let go at all, because when you attempt a complete separation, he begins to play on your feelings. You stay and in the end everything remains the same. So why does this happen?

There are several reasons for this:

He is happy with everything as it is. Perhaps you yourself are unconsciously not letting him go. He simply lives his life, and only sometimes remembers you when you yourself disappear. He tells you how much he loves you and you relax. You might even make peace. If this is the case for you, then why do you need it? Listen to beautiful words that are not supported by actions? Think, maybe you are being considered as a backup option?
Difference in views. You want a long relationship, but the guy only starts wanting this after breaking up. And so you broke up, and he again behaves as usual, supposedly you are limiting him. It's simple here - you have different views.
Confidence. It must be earned. When a man loves you and promises to make you happy and that he has changed, then there is no need to rush. Let him deserve a second chance. If you go back, things are unlikely to get better. If this is the case, then it is better to break up completely.
You justify him. Girls who are attracted to “morons” who do not want a normal relationship are prone to self-flagellation. They believe that everything depends only on them. They cannot realize otherwise. So, as an adult, a person can blame himself for his problems. It’s simply convenient for a guy who likes to drink or takes drugs to have such a girl next to him, when during the gaps between parties there was someone to go to.

Losing your own identity

In many ways, psychological frustration after a breakup is due to the fact that during the relationship we integrate a partner into our identity. Many people look at themselves through the eyes of a lover and borrow his vision for self-identification and for building a picture of the future. Taking one of the main elements out of this picture causes us to experience a feeling of destruction of the self-image and a loss of control over our lives and confusion.

Often we grieve not so much for a specific person, but for the picture of our “self” that he allowed us to build. Awareness of this fact helps to shift the focus to working on your condition.

The question “who am I?” - a normal existential question for singles and married people, polyamorous people, young people and old people. Its complexity forces us to look for an answer - in activism, creativity or philosophy. It just sounds louder in moments of crisis.

Use this moment to reflect on what you expect from life and who you want to become. Otherwise you will fall in love again, and there will be no time for existentialism.

How long does a man remember a woman, does he remember after breaking up?

How does a man cope with a breakup?
Every girl should know how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, and also how long he endures it. Men are not always happy with their freedom; it is also difficult for them to join the new trend of life. This takes some time.

So, the experience of separation occurs in five stages:

Denial . A man, even a free man, may not fully understand the fact of separation. So at first he denies it
Expression of feelings. Then he gets angry at his ex for injustice. Usually those who are lonely and deprived of female attention think this way. Emotions prevent him from living normally and communicating with people
Awareness and doubt. When emotions subside, the situation is perceived differently. A feeling of guilt arises and mistakes are realized. There is a desire to improve everything and fear of the future
Depression . The man understands the whole situation and that there is no point in blaming his wife and sorting things out with her. He loses hope and becomes depressed
Humility and consent . In the end, calm comes and all the bad things fade into the background. The man draws conclusions and begins to live independently. He develops an interest in life and communication

It takes some time to go through all the stages. Some people manage to get through them quickly, while others suffer for months.

Reasons and features of separations

Each couple has its own story, personal reasons and motives, based on which one should expect the end of the relationship. The primary reason seems to be that separation occurs due to lack of feelings of one person for the other. When feelings don't exist, relationships don't exist. Unfortunately, in most cases, partners break up, keeping mutual feelings in their hearts.