8 qualities of a good lover: how to become one?

Every woman can remember a man who amazed her with his charm, intelligence and good taste.
She was already anticipating excellent sex, but her expectations were not met: the owner of excellent manners and a connoisseur of literature turned out to be a lack of initiative and uninteresting partner. Is it possible to recognize the qualities of a good lover in a new acquaintance, or is this an impossible task? How to protect yourself from disappointments in bed? Let's talk about this in our article. From this article you will learn:

What qualities does a good lover have?
What signs can you use to identify an excellent lover even at the dating stage?
What myths and facts about the qualities of a good lover should every woman know?

“Why do you have such big ears?”171___187

The young man will need his ears even more than his penis. You need to carefully remember with your ears what the woman says. After all, it is she who will show the man the way to her orgasm. The fact is that every woman is individual and only she herself can explain what a man needs to do in order for her to reach the highest point of pleasure, in common parlance - orgasm.

The problem begins when a girl is too tense to say how she likes it. Well, or a completely neglected case when she herself does not know how to achieve orgasm. Perhaps with independent masturbation, she cums. But the girl has no idea how to transfer these sensations to bed with a man. But a man usually doesn’t even try.

It’s important to get the girl talking, to get her on the right wavelength. Experiment with it, talk. If the relationship was not limited to one night spent, then it is not necessary to talk about sex immediately before it. You can discuss your sexual desires simply by spending time together. This excites both partners and strengthens the relationship between them.

Life hack: If a girl has never finished with a man, then with good skills and the ability to talk, there is a chance to bring her to orgasm and become “the one.” It is this kind of lover that the girl will remember for a long time, and perhaps she will not even be able to forget.

What to avoid when communicating with a man

Some “forbidden” relationships pass quickly, others can last for years. Much depends on how much the partners value each other, for which the duet was originally created (sex, romance, communication).

If a man lacks mutual understanding, tenderness, and unity of souls at home, then with a competent approach from his mistress, it will be possible to build a relationship format that satisfies the needs of the partner.

Major mistakes should be avoided.

His family is sacred

It can be hard to accept that your loved one belongs to someone else. It is necessary to clearly understand from the very beginning that until a man independently decides to separate from his wife, nothing will be done for a divorce. You can gently guide him, but do not push him.

Decide at the start whether it is acceptable in your relationship to talk about household chores, problems, discuss spouses, children, parents. If yes, the woman should be sympathetic, she cannot speak sharply, categorically about what is happening, or criticize.

Men often take the position “only I can beat my slaves”; any rude word said to his family can turn him against his mistress.

You shouldn’t force the situation by making your presence known by calling and texting your wife. It is not a fact that, faced with a choice, he will not make it in favor of his legal wife, not wanting changes in life, an established routine. Discuss the time and methods of communication. Is it possible to call, write, at what time?

No self-interest

Men understand perfectly well when they want only money, connections, and practical help. The lover in fact owes nothing to his chosen one.

If he has a desire to make her life easier and more enjoyable in a way accessible to him, he will certainly take advantage of the situation that arises. It is worth voicing some points in which his participation would be appropriate, but in an informative style, without demands. The stronger sex, interested in a woman, perfectly hears and understands hints.

You can’t be offended because he takes his family on vacation to an exotic resort and gives his mistress inexpensive jewelry as a gift. Speaking in a negative way runs the risk of getting a rude, unpleasant response.

His conscience will definitely not awaken from a note of protest. If the material component is important, you need to initially look for a sponsor.

Caution, high humidity

As a rule, men get aroused faster than women. While the woman was just feeling the gas pedal, the man had already taken off, leaving behind clouds of smoke. But sex is a trip for two. Therefore, one of the important qualities of a good lover is the ability to excite a woman. This is what foreplay is for. Everything that usually starts sex is used, but it should not last 30 seconds.

Kissing, stroking, stimulation of erotic zones (no, you don’t have to immediately get into the girl’s panties). It’s better to start with kisses on the neck, intimate whispers, timid and, as if by chance, light touches to the chest and perineal area. The most important mistake during foreplay is the desire to quickly pull off the girl’s clothes. It’s better to do everything slowly and sensually, as if delaying the moment of pleasure.

Let the man slowly admire the woman’s body, give her pleasure, while enjoying the caresses himself. After all, a woman in return can also give pleasant sensations before sex. The ideal would be to ensure that the woman herself is ready to remove everything unnecessary from herself and the man.

The first rule about ears still applies at this point. Before sex, a guy just needs to clarify how she likes it. A simple playful question: “Do you want it softer or harder?” make the task much easier. You need to understand that some girls will die of boredom while their partner draws patterns on her body with his tongue.

Why women need a lover

Carnal satisfaction. If your intimate life with your husband leaves much to be desired, then your lover becomes your salvation. The situations can be different: impotence of the spouse, his low libido, inability to give pleasure, rapid onset of orgasm, long business trips.
New sexual experiences. If you are embarrassed to offer your husband something new, for example, BDSM, role-playing games, various fetishes, then you can always find a lover for this.
Increased self-esteem. A woman wants to feel desired. You need to know that someone is conquering and idolizing her. The best remedy for this is a new man who experiences sexual desire.
Conception. If your husband has problems with fertilization, then you can resort to the help of your lover to get pregnant.

Practical benefits. A lover can provide financial assistance, advance your career, and give expensive gifts.
Communication. If a woman has a lack of communication, then she can find a lover to fill the need for intimate conversations. In this case, intimacy becomes an excuse to talk.
Psychotherapy. If a personal or family crisis occurs, then for many women the only therapy is to “throw yourself headlong” into a beautiful romance with a lover.

Forget everything you were taught...__8230

Unfortunately, porn creates misconceptions about sexuality. You need to understand that not everything seen on the “big screen” can and should be brought to life. Not all girls like rudeness and submission, and having anal sex without preparation is very traumatic and dangerous.

Strive for variety

Sex is killed by monotony and monotony. Remember the first months of your life together - the sex was mind-blowing. And not because you mastered the poses from page one hundred and fifth of the Kama Sutra. It's all about newness. The human brain needs fresh impressions, new experiences and stimuli. The honeymoon is a time when the brain floods the body with dopamine. Unfortunately, the brain quickly gets used to everything new.

Boredom sets in too quickly, and what yesterday you both were delighted with causes you to yawn today.

Good sex needs variety. New positions, caresses, techniques, toys and devices - study the topography of your own bodies and stimulate your brain with new experiences.

Use language3

Another important quality of a good lover is the ability to use language. If both partners are not against such foreplay, then it is the man’s sincere desire to please her with his tongue that can bring her to orgasm. There is no universal way of great cunnilingus, but there is a sincere desire of a man to please his partner. For this, the main thing is not to be shy and not to be disdainful.

Bed is not a place where any prejudices operate. To accurately determine which movements in the process give a woman more pleasure, you should listen to her reaction, sounds, and body movements. If a woman likes everything, then a pleasant and stunning reaction will not be long in coming.

How to behave with a married man if you are a mistress

Ringed representatives of the stronger sex are in no hurry to exchange the reliable rear of their home for the apartment of their mistresses . They happily find time for meetings, give attention, affection, present pleasant surprises, but nothing more.

A lover can talk about his family, say that at home they don’t value him, don’t understand him, but at the same time he won’t rush to move with his things, even if he is called and expected.

Men are not inclined to take steps towards a new life when falling in love, unlike the weaker sex.

A lover can talk about his family, say that at home they don’t appreciate him, don’t understand him, but at the same time he won’t rush to move with his things, even if he is called and expected

When dating a married man, you need to understand what he is looking for, what missing elements he is trying to fill, preferably:

be able to find connecting factors and interests;
have a similar worldview;
be friends, listen, understand, provide support;
do not be shy to openly express positive emotions and feelings.
maintain individuality.

With this approach, a couple builds a harmonious relationship, cemented not only by sex, but also by spiritual unity.

How to behave with your lover so that he is afraid of losing you: psychology

In order for the admirer not to relax, he must be kept in a slight tone, but not slide into an outright provocation of jealousy. He must understand that the girl’s life does not revolve around his person, it is rich and interesting. You shouldn’t show that the light in the window comes on only during his visits.

A woman develops, learns something, reads, goes to various events. Let him know about it. Just don’t say that you visited the exhibition in the company of a handsome colleague: men are jealous, even when they have no moral right to be so.

A bad option is to hang on to him, pester him with calls and messages. Let the guy feel a constant slight hunger for communication, but don’t be afraid to show that his calls and visits bring joy.

It is useful to show character from time to time, not agreeing to anything that goes against personal desires and plans.

How to behave with a lover so that he himself is drawn to a woman

Representatives of the stronger sex love themselves most and when they are loved. The atmosphere of warmth, lightness, joy attracts them like a lantern of moths.

This is why they make friends on the side. You need to be different: calm, eccentric, quiet, submissive, capricious. Let him not know in advance which girlfriend is waiting for him today. It’s nice when a lady is unobtrusively interested in business and asks how an important event or meeting went. This shows concern for his life, participation.

Romance comes first4

A romantic setting, scented candles, intimate twilight and light relaxing music can give the lady an additional reason for orgasm. Any unresolved female problem can stick in her head and prevent her from completely relaxing. And during the man’s efforts, she will think that she forgot to pay for utilities or send an important letter.

After all, the female brain is much more complex than the male brain. Therefore, it is important for a man to distract a woman from everything unnecessary. The appropriate environment usually produces excellent results. The main thing is not to overdo it and not start a fire because of scented candles, otherwise both partners will not have time for sex.

Should you date a married man: pros and cons

Holiday meetings with romance, bright sex and other attributes will brighten up gray everyday life, make you feel welcome, special, and give fresh emotions.
How to behave with your lover in order to get maximum pleasure from the relationship and a minimum of mental anguish is a whole science. The option of a union with a married man is suitable for a married lady or a woman who does not want encroachment on personal freedom.

Meetings and holidays with romance, bright sex and other attributes will brighten up gray everyday life, make you feel welcome, special, and give fresh emotions. You shouldn’t count on spending the weekend together; you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you can call and write to your lover only at the agreed time.

Clitoris5

It is worth not forgetting that only a small percentage of girls come from the mere penetration of a penis into the vagina. Therefore, an important quality of a good lover is to know the trump cards with which you can surprise your partner. One of these trump cards is the female clitoris. It is the stimulation of this small tubercle that can cause genuine moans of happiness from a lady.

But the clitoris is only one hundredth of all points that can cause an orgasm in a woman. A woman has points U, A, P, K, PS in her arsenal. There is also the G zone, which is probably known to many. To stimulate these points, you can use fingering (finger stimulation) or special sex toys.

Of course, it is worth remembering the individuality of each girl in bed. Knowledge of all zones and points cannot guarantee an orgasm for anyone. Some people may respond to any of the points, others may not. It is important not to be afraid of experiments and conversations with a woman, only then can you become a good lover.

Cons of relationships on the side

There are plenty of reasons why married women take lovers. But everything has a price, so you have to pay for bright emotions:

Tension . A girl who decides to cheat will have to become a “double agent.” At the beginning of an affair, this sounds romantic, but in reality, constant monitoring of correspondence, excuses, calls and mutual acquaintances can exhaust even a bored spouse. An affair on the side will soon turn from an exciting adventure into a headache.
Appearance . After a few years of marriage, the demands on spouses decrease, and the husband no longer requires smooth hair removal, styling and professional makeup. But for a lover, beauty plays an important role, so you will have to constantly keep yourself in good shape. And this is time, money and energy, which are often lacking due to household responsibilities. Yes, and the husband may suspect something when he sees how his wife has become too diligent in putting herself in order when she goes to see her friend.
Stress . A feeling of anxiety will become a constant companion for a girl who has decided to have a lover. One of your mutual acquaintances may see, your husband may suspect and convict you of treason, a madman in love may threaten to reveal the truth. Worry will not let you sleep peacefully at night.
Diseases . You can't be sure about anyone, so you should always use condoms. But in a fit of passion, sometimes you can forget yourself, relax a little, and now the unpleasant itching and burning make themselves felt. You can easily catch sexually transmitted diseases and pass them on to your husband, which can lead to a very awkward conversation.
Unwanted pregnancy. No contraceptive means provides 100% protection, so the chance of getting knocked up by your lover remains.
Divorce . Don't forget about the most important disadvantage - cheating can destroy your marriage. The truth may come out at any moment, and then the husband will leave the family. We will have to divide property, agree on child custody, and solve a million other problems.

Did you teach the equipment?6

An important quality of a good lover is knowledge... in the sexual sphere. Any “macho” needs to understand the whole process “from the inside.” High-quality literature will help him with this. No, 50 Shades of Gray is not suitable as a guide for a novice lover. We need books about female sexuality, relationships and the female orgasm.

For example, “The Point of Pleasure” by Laurie Mintz (by the way, it’s all about that mysterious clitoris), “Sex for Science. Science for Sex" by Mary Roach - the book will tell you what sex is without the notorious school "pistils and stamens." “As a Woman Wants” by Emily Nagoski - the title of the book speaks for itself. And this is not a complete list of books that will give an understanding of female pleasure.

Risks for a woman with a lover

Bacterial vaginosis and STDs. You need to use a condom with your lover to protect yourself from unpleasant consequences, for example, from unwanted microflora that provokes vaginosis and thrush. There is no guarantee that a man has an intimate relationship only with you? He could get an STD from another partner and not know it until symptoms appear.
Uncertain paternity. An intimate relationship with a lover can lead to an unplanned pregnancy if the rules of contraception are accidentally violated, for example, the condom breaks. How can one determine in this case who the father is if there are regular intimate relationships with both?
Family breakdown. If your spouse finds out about your affair, it is possible that he will want to file for divorce.

Thus, lovers are not only a source of hatred and a catalyst for disintegration, many psychologists believe that they can save a marriage by becoming a reason for renewing relations with a spouse. But still, if you have a lover, then you need to take all measures to minimize the risks of meeting him.

Source

Dances like a god6

It is necessary to observe the movements of a man during a slow dance to understand what he is like in bed. A guy with the makings of an ideal lover does not squeeze the young lady’s ass, does not push his neighbors, trying to take up more space on the dance floor. He will not move like a robot and keep a pioneering distance from the lady, but he will not allow a brazen invasion of “foreign territory.”

His “neat” intimacy excites and excites his partner’s imagination. He carefully presses and pulls away, as if teasing the woman. His hands rest confidently and sensually on your waist and squeeze your palm protectively. Dancing with such a man takes you into the world of sensuality and warmth. It burns and invites you to new discoveries of soul and body.

Foreplay of pleasure8

Men are surprised when they expect unearthly passions from their mistress, after the traditional phrase: “Well, let’s go?..” The unequivocality of the words spoken directly shows the woman the indicated route, but does not generate sexual desire at all. After such a flattering offer, the most expected reaction from the lady will be either an irritated refusal, or a cool walk into the room and lying upright in bed. The lady is ready. The gentleman slowly lowers his panties and, in anticipation of passion, the couple engages in some kind of sex.

Foreplay is an important part of successful sex. Hugs and kisses excite, reveal sensuality, ignite passion and liberate partners. The ideal lover is patient in achieving his goal, and his goal is to excite his partner and her passionate impulses. He strokes and admires her body, despite the proportions and weight, kisses her shoulders and skillfully caresses her breasts, moving from smooth touches to passionate biting of her nipples.

By the reaction of the body, the breathing of the partner, a good lover knows when to move on to the important part of sexual intercourse. He understands that a bad prelude is too short or too long, and in time activates the second part of the Armizon ballet.”

Why do men have affairs on the side?

The main reason for male infidelity is not a lack of sex, but a lack of respect for the husband and father in one’s own family. He doesn’t want to change anything, because the division of property and scandals with his wife and relatives will exhaust him and knock him out of his usual rut, or even leave him completely without funds. At the same time, he cannot help but take into account the existing problems in relationships within the family, and a mistress (especially a young and attractive one) gives him a way to compensate for what he is missing in life.

Mutually beneficial agreement

Who are lovers? This concept also applies to people who are married to their spouses. We are talking about a kind of transaction between two adults, accomplished people who meet to enjoy each other without compromising their own families. Such relationships can last for years, sometimes people meet in their youth, and then become lovers and can maintain such a relationship for the rest of their lives.

According to Wikipedia, a lover is a man who has an intimate relationship with someone, but is not married to that person. Without going into lengthy discussions about the immorality of adultery as such, we note that such a relationship can be built on a trusting relationship when two people respect and truly love each other, but for some reason they are unhappy in their marriage. In this case, relationships on the side help not only to get sexual release, but also to find a friend who can support you in difficult times.