Good day to all readers of my resource! This article is dedicated to everyone interested in the topic of building personal relationships and is intended for you! I can say openly that you have come to the right place, use cool practices and freely available knowledge as much as your heart desires. Once upon a time, as a very young, young and inexperienced girl, I was looking on the Internet for at least some grain of knowledge, well, at least some applicable and effective algorithm in real life that would contribute to both my own development and the development of the person whose my heart chose.
But, alas, at that time this knowledge was very little. Everything around is very expensive and paid, seminar courses require a lot of energy, which can and can be invested in the whole process, but there are no guarantees, because all these gurus, apart from dry theory, do not have any life experience. So, dear girls who want to really pump up their heads with useful life and effective advice, rejoice - this resource is able to provide the necessary information and it can be applied, everything is in your hands! So, let's go, let's start analyzing the topic of what a man's lover is. What he can do in essence and what a girl who wants to connect her life with a man of this type can count on.
Male lover, what needs characterize the type of such men?
A male lover is actually very prosaic, all his actions are very insignificant and insignificant. A male lover can listen to you, even to some extent pretend that he is involved in your problem and life. But he is only geared, sorry for being straightforward, only for sex. I’ll explain on my fingers, in his system of values there is a conviction and understanding that the girl needs to be supported, there is a clear and precise understanding that he himself needs regular sex, so he is emotionally ready to carry a woman on himself and do it always. And that’s all for... then he is most often unable to do more. And if YOU as an individual grow over time in a relationship, go up the career ladder, and want to get something else from such a man, he will not do anything.
In material terms, something beyond that, that’s for sure. And it may happen that you yourself are already quite successful and can afford Cyprus or another vacation, that is, you can and want to invest in yourself, but this guy is still sitting at his dull job. Well, it's boring isn't it? What should I, as a woman, do in such a situation, should I invite him to a resort or what? It's getting sad. The gap between you will grow larger and larger every day. At first, this will result in some emerging differences in worldview, then it will manifest itself in actions in everyday life, and in the end, patience will simply run out, you will want to slam the door and leave. There are no options here. This is a typical scenario in general, but there is another less favorable one.
A less favorable algorithm is that in a woman’s belief system there may be ideas that a man should support his family, give money to his wife, and do this on a regular basis. And in this, in general, there is also a rational grain. Excuse me, how else can a woman raise a child or at least bear it? That is, a man-lover in everything, I repeat absolutely in everything, shares responsibility with a woman and in material terms, including.
But he misses out on one thing - he either knows nothing about female nature, or ignores the characteristics of the female body and devalues it on a regular basis. Something like, I don’t care that you are a woman, give birth as you want, bear responsibility: carry the house on yourself, invest in the development of children, and I will just satisfy my animal needs. That's all. And the picture that emerges for women here is very problematic, both from the point of view of physical health and from the point of view of mental health. These are the eternal lazy types of men who are used to being content with little and sit in one place for years, but there are others.
Famous examples8
At the beginning of the twentieth century, Spencer Tracy was a sought-after actor. He won an Oscar twice and played many iconic roles. He was married, but this did not stop him from having an affair with Katharine Hepburn. They played in several films and this contributed to the development of sympathy. However, Tracy never divorced his wife. He was a Catholic and therefore divorce was not allowed.
Among lovers and mistresses you can find many interesting and mystical stories. Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol, a beauty icon, and her favorite was none other than Kennedy. There were rumors that she preferred his brother, but she chose John.
Marilyn Monroe and Kennedy
For the public everything was decent. Marilyn visited the White House by invitation only. They didn't advertise the rest. Some believe that the diva was the reason for the murder.
Another famous Kennedy favorite is Judith Exner. She was first Campbell's wife, then Sinatra's mistress, and then the muse of presidential candidates. Jacqueline knew about the affair, but could not do anything. But Dujdit did not remain faithful to John either and went over to the famous leader of the criminals.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were secret lovers. They met on the set and dated for five years. Pitt's legal wife has received sympathy from others for a long time
Being a lover in a relationship is a temporary principle of behavior when the man has not yet been determined
Look, we all go through life living out certain roles, roles in the family, social roles at work. We make friends and meet different people. And the format of relationships, in particular personal relationships, that was interesting at 20 years old, when closer to 30 years old, loses its relevance. From the point of view of female psychology, a certain accumulated experience is already appearing, but there has been no marriage yet or the girl herself has not allowed certain relationships to go far, but she already understands that she is not interested in just hanging out and chatting.
This only says one thing - she is ripe for more, and only a certain man can be suitable for her as a partner, who has also lived through this stage of life and is committed to continuing the relationship in the long term. We all know that both men and women go through certain stages of development, both social and personal. So, a man-lover is also a dude who doesn’t want anything from life in terms of building personal relationships. But, he loves sex and is ready to be with a beautiful girl for a long time, even giving her flowers and gifts. And everything seems to be fine, but only until the girl begins to call him to account, openly declaring that the current format of the relationship no longer suits her.
That's the whole secret. Absolutely typical behavior of an indeterminate man. The most interesting thing is that age is not an indicator at all in this understanding. A man may be undefined at 30 years old, and at 40, and at 50. I am leading all this to the fact that getting involved in a good way, even to satisfy the physiological needs of a good girl, a girl who wants a family in the future, is a waste of time and feminine energy. Therefore, I recommend learning to identify such men even before you enter into close intimate relationships with them. This type of man will be safe, I would even say relatively safe, only for girls who have also not yet decided on the direction of life, and they can feel good and comfortable in this temporary choice.
Financial component
There is a category of women who do not want to enter into legal marriage. This can happen for various reasons, the first of which is the lack of need to provide a man with a living, to correspond to his ideas about an ideal wife. Many wealthy men are demanding of their other half, as well as what their home should be like, and how their wife should build relationships within the family and with relatives.
A legal wife has many responsibilities that a mistress is unlikely to cope with. But on the other hand, she is often younger and more beautiful, with her a man can appear to his friends, she reflects his high social status and confirms his wealth in an intimate sense.
If a woman understands that this relationship is not forever, and if she receives valuable gifts, a prestigious position, property or an expensive car from her patron, then her position can hardly be called disadvantageous. Children born to mistresses often receive their father's surname, as well as property rights.
How to communicate with vague men aimed only at intimate connection
My advice and recommendation is this: so that this too lustful lover, not literally your lover, but a man who only wants to get sex from you, gets rid of him, just be honest and directly state your life priorities. Tell him that you want a family and children, that you are an honest, chaste woman, and sex with men who have different views on life cannot happen just a priori, because the values are different. A male lover lives by different criteria, he is interested in intrigue, he will often mention some girlfriends in conversations, as if pushing you to behave like a female, to create something like a competitive situation. You will immediately notice and feel this, because his thinking is completely different, he has not even reached the level of a husband in his thoughts.
The desire to talk with such characters immediately disappears. Therefore, you need to act purposefully and wisely: tell him that, according to your ideas, an indeterminate man (and that’s exactly what he is) is not interesting to you, he does not excite you with his conversations about possible intrigues and adventures, and you have nothing to talk about with him. Always say you're busy and don't answer the phone. AND NEVER PUT HIM IN THE COURSE OF YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. Because as soon as the male finds out that you are at a party with friends, his hunting instincts may awaken. But, these instincts are aimed only at keeping a certain female in their field, but not in order to somehow invest in this girl and care for her, but to amuse her ego. That's all. A man is a lover, well, once he listens to your lectures, well, twice.
He will begin to understand that he is not attracted to this girl with her correct position and outlook on life, and will begin to disappear from your field of visibility. He cannot somehow get into your personal life and show the instinct of a male, since you yourself do not give a reason, so the maximum that he can do is to be at a distance by which you will distance him, and the goal of all this is as soon as You have clearly found out that this man is not defined, and his goal is only to fuck you sexually - get rid of him immediately. You shouldn’t be interested in talking to male dogs; you don’t need to waste time on them.
Grigory Orlov and Catherine the Great5
In the history of any country you can find many references to favorites and favorites. Grigory Orlov was tall, handsome, stately. Therefore, he did not suffer from the lack of female attention. He was brave and always eager to fight. He also stood out in the palace.
Grigory Orlov and Ekaterina
He met Catherine, then still the wife of Peter III, while serving in a grenadier regiment. She was married, but her husband was not interested in her. For several years there was no intimate relationship between them, and when it happened, Catherine became pregnant.
After the birth of her child, she and her husband were exiled to Peterhof. The future Emperor of Russia was not interested in his wife. Catherine actively corresponded with Orlov and soon they entered into an intimate relationship. She gave birth to a child from him.
It was the Orlov brothers who helped her carry out the coup. The guard took Catherine's side. Historians suggest that Peter III was killed not without the participation of Gregory. After ascending to the throne, the empress supported her favorite.
Over time, he began to behave aggressively, disappeared in various wars and was replaced by Potemkin.
Typical behavior in relationships between eternal male lovers who will never change
I can also say that types of male lovers are not a rare phenomenon among wealthy businessmen. It would seem, why not stop and choose a beautiful girl with whom you will fall in love and will love and try to build a relationship. Still, there is money and business. But, just as he was a lover, he remains one. Even while married. Yes, such men can have decent finances, and they even give it to their wife. Only the whole point is that they chose their wife not based on the presence of some internal qualities, and not even on a pretty face, but simply bought a comfortable woman. A woman who agreed to live in a castle for money from such a guy.
You can have one whenever you want, sublime feelings will not interfere and your pride will not be hurt in any way. There seems to be some idea in his head that he needs to be able to provide for his family, but he is not ready to love. Scary. That’s why men choose to live comfortably, long and calmly with one woman who is ready to bend over backwards and put up with his antics for money. And from time to time, get himself a mistress, a woman with whom he will realize and act out scenarios that he cannot afford in the family. It's scary to love.
And he treats this mistress disgustingly; he can appear as quickly as he can disappear. My opinion is that this position, although convenient, generally only leads to the degradation of a man. He seems to look good, and has finances, something might be going on there. He is capable of beautiful courtship, but there is no personality in him, there is no depth in him. Very quickly you get bored with his conversations about business and how cool he is. So girls, pay attention to whether there are such people in your field.
Among rich people, this format of building relationships is very common. I don’t know who first started to maintain this tradition: a wife and two mistresses. I think that the men themselves started it from their own weakness of spirit and reluctance to pump up their feminine side. And a person is beautiful and valuable when he is holistic and developed in different directions. What’s most interesting is that such situations might not have happened if such a guy’s wife had kept this dude in line.
There are only two options here: either someone allows themselves to walk, but to the left, and someone puts up with it (they give money to live on, you’ll think it’s treason), or someone is tired of fighting it, but doesn’t know how to get rid of it (again a woman is dependent on a man), he understands this and takes advantage of the opportunity - he cheats as he wants, often even directly declaring this to his wife. So why the hell should it stand in a row in this situation and also play the role of a victim in the triangle, right?
Inessa Armand and Vladimir Lenin7
The same person who will forever remain in world history as a controversial figure - Vladimir Ulyanov (later Lenin) early married Nadezhda Krupskaya. They were both educated, well-read, and translated Marxist works from English.
Vladimir Lenin and Inessa Armand
Nadezhda had been his reliable companion for a long time. They hid together, traveled with fake documents, stayed in Europe and were engaged in revolutionary activities. She came to him in exile in Siberia. Over time, she developed Graves' disease. She began to feel unwell, her face became puffy and her eyes bulged.
At the beginning of the 20th century there was no effective treatment. She had part of her thyroid gland removed, but that didn't help much. A hundred years later, effective hormonal medications and low-traumatic operations appeared, but at the beginning of the last century there was little choice.
Inessa was an extraordinary person. Before she began becoming a revolutionary, she was married twice and gave birth to four children. Lenin's book made a strong impression on her. After which she joined the Bolsheviks.
She was in exile, fled to St. Petersburg, went into hiding, and moved to Switzerland. I buried my second husband.
The fateful meeting took place in Brussels. Lenin at that time was already 39, and she was 35 years old. What attracted them to each other? He was a fiery, authoritative figure, a banner of the revolution. She is lively, bright and extraordinary.
Armand, Lenin and Krupskaya
Historians still argue about whether there was a connection between Lenin and Armand. Inessa openly advocated for the recognition of the institution of marriage as unviable and promoted free love. Her adventurism, artistry and desire to fight were fascinating.
In 1917 she arrived in Russia with Lenin in a sealed carriage. Friendly relations reigned between Armand and Krupskaya. A year later, Inessa was sent to help French soldiers, she was arrested, but she was released. Lenin threatened to start a war with France, so the government decided not to aggravate the situation.
In the modern imagination, Armand was a feminist who fought against patriarchy with all her might. She died of cholera in 1920.
I fell in love with an asshole or what to do if your cable is macho: useful recommendations for women
Of course, I understand that in real life, if a girl is faced with a similar situation, just reading the article cannot do it, as they say, other methods are needed, more realistic and shocking. Since this man-lover has somehow clung to you along the Anahata chakra, that is, you have already developed in relation to him, if not love, but already infatuation. You know, these intelligible notations may not help. This state is so strange that you seem to understand everything, and you’re even ready to listen to the advice of friends or cool specialists in the field of psychology or extrasensory perception, but you can’t help yourself. And yet, water wears away stones.
In order not to get into even worse things - reading articles like mine is already something, you need to get out of this emotional state. First, understand on what grounds you consider a man an asshole? Because when love comes, the mind has a vacation. The task in this situation is to turn off the sensory zone, even for a while, and turn on your head and think about what he did that you can love him for, or what he did that is so disgusting that you don’t have to love him. That's all. Start analyzing first, even if you already feel something for him - a reasonable and sober look at the situation will always help you stay at ease.
Analyze the actions of a man, save it and everything will be good. Your internal scales will tell you where you need to kick him as far as possible, or cut him off thoroughly. You just need to not invest too much into it and not live by feelings alone, but also use your head. It may also be that this intoxication in the form of an overly excessive emotional state will quickly pass when you are friends with your own head.
And you will thank yourself very much for the fact that this under-knight galloped past on a lame horse, but it could have been worse. I always do this, it's very effective. And I recommend it to my friends - they also get out, although not as quickly as me, but also with success. Literally one or two weeks for internal recovery and qualified information, advice from friends and everything, you are already on horseback and working as before.
What is the way out of this outcome?
There are about one and a half of them. The first is for both partners to correct their self-esteem and stop looking for self-affirmation and consolation in the relationship. When a man is not tied to a specific role, and a woman does not need to solve her problems at the expense of a man, the relationship becomes completely different - simple, clear and honest, without any mutual dependence. It's difficult to do, but it's possible, and it's worth it.
Another loophole is to allow each other freedom in the relationship. A man is allowed to go hunting, a woman is allowed to have a “lover”. But this option does not lead to an independent way out of the situation, since it again requires both sides to overcome self-doubt and renounce monopoly rights over each other. This path is a little easier, but very few are ready for it. Alternatively, you can also run to the side in secret, but this is also not suitable for everyone.
The conclusions from this whole situation are obvious, but I won’t voice them - I’ll leave them for you to consider on your own...
How to reject men who are inclining you towards an open relationship, is it necessary to communicate with such
My advice is this: do not communicate with such people under any circumstances. Don’t communicate with them, don’t talk, don’t try to prove something and defend your truth in verbal battles - this is the man’s responsibility for the fact that he is such a disgusting, sorry member. Just don’t maintain a dialogue with him, the most that can be said is the following: - “If I saw in such an interlocutor as you a normal, adequate interlocutor, then everything would be fine and I could continue, but since you are behaving like a perverted person “I don’t talk to perverts, and the law punishes such people strictly.” And that’s it, you stop all possibility of continuing the dialogue.
Believe me, such disgusting, downward spiraling people do not deserve even a second of your time to talk to them. A note about the law can also bring them back to the understanding that they need to be held accountable for their words; these manipulators simply take advantage of a woman’s lack of knowledge and her timidity. As soon as you start to behave correctly and quickly cut off all such conversations, they shut up quickly, because they understand that with this special one you can get hit in the head. And, as a rule, they get hit, but in a different situation, what is inside this, sorry, freak, sooner or later finds resistance in the outside world and they end up very badly. Leave it to space to deal with them; it is bigger and wiser than one girl.
Dangerous demands of male lovers, how to remove a man who is nobody to you
There is another format of relationships, I would even say more similar to pseudo-relationships. When simple situations and actions on the part of an indefinite man whom you have not allowed near you for a long time really begin to cause discomfort, and as a sane woman you understand that something needs to be done about this, because just the thought of such a person makes your head hurt. I myself personally encountered a similar situation, I felt on an unconscious level that a person has some kind of g...but, but I couldn’t give this g...v any specific qualification, I had to study it. And so I studied it, now I can share this experience with you. Male lovers, especially those with unfulfilled sexual needs, are very disgusting.
They are capable of acting out so much as to somehow humiliate or insult a normal girl, because they themselves don’t want to do anything and don’t accept the format of a normal relationship, which makes them physically really sick. I actually caught myself many times with a physical feeling of nausea half an hour before a call from such a character, and I understood. So now so-and-so will call. Information usually comes both in the form of sensations in the body and in the form of images. That is, if you improve your extrasensory perception decently, you can see upcoming events, feel them on your body and see images. This was taught to me at Arcanum when I underwent a year-long training in the development of psychic abilities.
And what I’m saying is that dear girls, always pay attention to the sensations in your body when dialogue with your partner, even if you don’t see him and the dialogue is conducted at a distance, remember that the BODY NEVER LIES. The verbal part in the form of words makes up only 7% of the total flow of information, the remaining 93% is always true and they are in the unconscious, so you always need to catch the trick: what the man says on the phone (what sweet speech and praises he pours in) and what you experience in response to these words. As soon as you feel the difference between feelings and words, move away from the man immediately, it’s 100% wrong.
Such situations arise when a woman does not have much control or unconsciously allows a man into her environment. It looks something like this: a boy appears in a woman’s field - he makes no demands or rights on her, but for some reason over time he allows himself more and more. Calls after 10 pm, hour-long conversations about what a woman should be. This attitude of a teacher friend is very annoying and you begin to not understand what is happening. Who is this man anyway? Who are you that you allow me to be made uncomfortable? And it all starts with a banal acquaintance at work or mutual acquaintances, everything seems to be going well within the framework of friendly relationships, and then for some reason someone decides that they can rule me.
In such situations, only competent boundary building helps. Just in a conversation, convey to the young man that only my father had the full right to give me lectures, and this was in early childhood and until adulthood, so let him save his reasoning for future family implementation, I have already grown up and in problematic issues I can make a decision myself, to Moreover, no one turned to him for advice. You wish him well and throw this dude out of the field. I’ll say right away that this type of man will dominate in a relationship and do it very harshly, since a woman once gave him some slack and he pushed through her boundaries. Dear girls, look at the root, many problems in the future can be avoided with a competent approach in the present.
Statistics of female infidelity
Women who work in an office are more likely to have affairs than housewives or ladies who work from home. 27% of women who do not work in an office cheated, and 47% of those who work in a team.
57% of office workers met their lover at work.
Ladies who decide on a new romance more often choose married men in order to be on an equal footing. A family lover understands the importance of keeping the affair a secret, and is less likely to suffer from sexually transmitted diseases.
You can get acquainted with the statistics of female infidelity in more detail in the article How often do women cheat.
What is an equal relationship between a man and a woman in the modern world?
Russia, one way or another, always lags behind developed countries. We have always fought for life in wars, then spent many years recovering. Apparently this fear is still strong in our blood and genes, but be that as it may, global progress still moves all of humanity and it is necessary to develop, as well as transform in the development of personal relationships and professional fulfillment, otherwise the system will press and oppress. The best, but also the most difficult way is to take and immediately take responsibility for your own life and act in a timely manner. Believe me, this habit instilled today will greatly simplify your life in the future.
Because it is much easier to pump up the muscle called “Responsibility for your life” once and live a full and meaningful life than to end up faced with the fact that the system has driven you into a corner, and there is no strength to correct the situation for the better, There is no pumped up muscle called “Responsibility for your life.” Yes, you can calmly cherish for years the idea that a man should solve all your problems, financial and legal and much more. But, think about it - what can you, as a woman, give in return to such a companion when the “X” day comes and you actually meet the man of your dreams? Are you catching a chip?
You also need to be someone, and not just someone who only knows how to absorb resources with the help of men, but also someone who is able to earn these resources on their own. Therefore, I recommend that in the process of creating your dream of a happy future, marriage and family, you should also engage in independent development. From my own experience, I can say that you will never be attracted to male lovers if you yourself are a developed and self-sufficient person.
And even more, this type of man runs a very big risk by falling into the field of such a woman. Because we cannot fall in love with something that is not in ourselves. And over time, as you develop on your own, you will attract worthy and interesting men into your field, including friends. Since there are indeed situations when a person is good and his belief system is correct - but he is not physically suitable for you, sexual compatibility also matters, but as a friend and a person - such a man can be respected, but time will tell.
