- October 31, 2018
- Psychology of relationships
- Liliya Chuyas
The man disappeared without explanation... Almost every modern girl has been in such a situation. By the way, its external and internal characteristics have nothing to do with it. Even the most beautiful girls with ideal parameters are abandoned by men without explanation. It doesn’t matter how long you were together - several weeks or years. Undoubtedly, such an act on the part of a man cannot be called masculine.
Every girl, finding herself in such an ugly situation, will look for the reasons for this behavior of her significant other. Let's find out together why men leave silently, without explanation.
You will understand everything yourself - so it seems to him
Crisis is an inevitable event in every long-term relationship. If a difficult situation drags on in a couple, then sooner or later the man will leave. A woman usually thinks through every farewell word so as not to hurt the man. But the representative of the stronger sex himself thinks a little differently.
He doesn’t understand why an extra farewell conversation with a showdown is needed. After all, everything is clear.
Get rid of your obsession
If you don’t want a man to disappear without explanation one day, remember that just because you can write to your partner, this does not mean that you need to do so. Your boredom should not become his problem.
Make conversations comfortable for both of you.
If you are communicating on the phone, consider whether he is answering out of politeness or actively participating in the conversation. Specify in advance when you want to call and how long you will talk, and most importantly, stick to the limit. You'll be surprised how much it helps someone want to pick up the phone when you call.
The man took the phone number and disappeared after the first date, meeting, sex
Let's look at a specific example. He saw you in a minibus passing by. I ran for a whole block, and at the bus stop I got into a minibus and took your phone number. At the same time, the man was sober and adequate. Is it romance?
You have agreed on an upcoming meeting in the evening. You prepared all day, imagined the meeting... But two weeks have passed, and he hasn’t texted or called. Attention, question: why did he need a phone number? It's a shame? Annoying? But it's not okay. Let’s look at why the man stopped communicating without explanation and didn’t call back.
So, the main reasons:
- He over-wanted: the man’s romantic mood passed, and he simply forgot about his heroic and adventurous deed. Perhaps he is too lazy to start a relationship again. You need to try to please her, make surprises, take the girl to cafes and restaurants. In general, the guy analyzed the upcoming “hardships” and decided that it was not worth it.
- The number was not saved or the numbers were written incorrectly. Well then. Sometimes it happens. If he really liked you, then he will return to that stop, travel the same route to see you again.
- Married or in a relationship, but couldn’t resist meeting such a beauty. Then he thought it over carefully, deciding not to get involved in treason. Another option is also possible: he hid your phone number well and is waiting for the right opportunity when he quarrels with his wife or girlfriend again.
- I met you on a bet. He needed a phone number as proof. It was like a trophy that a man had to show off to his friends.
- He urgently needed to sleep with someone, and you refused to go anywhere with him. He understood everything, but took the phone number for the sake of decency.
- I was disappointed that you gave him your phone number so quickly. I thought you were easily accessible. And the man wanted to go through a so-called romantic quest like “on Sunday at 7 pm I will be doing fitness in such and such a gym, if you want, you can find me there.” For some men, overcoming such difficulties is much more interesting. Remember? The Forbidden fruit is sweet.
If a man disappears after the first sex, then perhaps the reason is hormones. For example, in women, after intimacy, the level of oxytocin in the body increases. This hormone is responsible for the feeling of happiness. But a man’s testosterone decreases after pleasant words and tenderness. To restore his strength and hormonal balance, a man sets out for new “exploits”.
The second reason: the man feels guilty. If he initiated sex on the first date or intimacy occurred too early, in his opinion, then he feels guilty. This feeling “eats” him from the inside. It is difficult for him to talk about his feelings with you. The decision to leave is the fastest and easiest.
Third reason: he got more than he expected. A man by nature is a winner who wants to constantly conquer new heights. He must realize that he has earned the right to be with you with great difficulty. And if sex happened too quickly, then he simply won’t be interested in you further. Still, it has already been conquered.
Two outcomes
As a result, the situation can develop in two ways. This leads to two natural outcomes:
- The girl does not want to let her partner go, putting pressure on him. He feels the loss of himself as an individual next to his partner and dissolves in the relationship. The guy feels discomfort, so he subconsciously leaves the woman in order to regain his own “I”. He needs to be alone for some time, even if there are no thoughts of separation or divorce. Without understanding this, the girl herself ruins the relationship. Constant calls and thirst for explanations only push your partner away. The likelihood of him returning becomes less likely. There is no need to talk about a situation where the guy initially did not plan for further development of the relationship, but the girl thinks differently, since self-humiliation cannot solve the problem.
- If the man disappeared, but appeared after the woman’s call, then all is not lost. He is open to conversation, that is, he has not yet decided on his feelings. The further situation develops according to the partner’s scenario and depends on how competent her behavior is. There is no need to give in to the impulse to take revenge on him, to fall in love with him again and trample him. It’s better to analyze your attitude towards a man, think about what attracts you in him: appearance, status, personal qualities, or all at once. If it turns out that there are no feelings, and the girl is driven only by excitement, then you should refuse to continue the romance. But when you have feelings, you don’t need to immediately rush into his arms. It is important here to make it clear to the man that such behavior is not the norm. But there is no need to reproach him for anything, since this is another crisis that both of them successfully survived.
If a man has disappeared without explanation (stopped communicating or showing up on the doorstep), you should think about it and analyze the situation. There can be many reasons. First, you should try to find out the reason directly from him. But if he ignores the question, there is no need to be persistent and aggressive. Waiting will be the best tactic.
Why men disappear without explanation: men's opinions
Women believe that men are primitive creatures. One cannot expect adequate analytical solutions from them. However, it is not. If a man disappears without explanation, then he can explain everything to himself.
So, the men's explanations:
- For every man, appearance and matching the mentality of a woman are important. If on the first date a man does not introduce you as his future wife and mother of his children, he will soon disappear. Why should he waste his time?
- A man only needs sex and the emotions that a woman gives. If you are not attracted to him sexually, then communication ends quickly.
- The smell of perfume, an insufficiently slender figure, the timbre of the voice are factors that can scare a man away. But that doesn't mean you're the problem. Another man will like all your advantages, but this one will run away in a couple of minutes if he finds you have a lot of shortcomings.
- He will not attract such an expensive woman like you. If you come on a date wearing a mink coat and an expensive leather bag, then the man immediately compares his capabilities with your desires. He comes to the conclusion that he will not be able to provide for you the way you are used to.
- You've talked a lot about past relationships. The man will conclude that you have not yet let go of the past; there is no place for it in the present. Therefore, it will disappear soon, giving you a chance to understand yourself.
- You're pretty drunk after a couple of cocktails. Of course, this can happen to every girl. However, a man may not like it, so he will “merge” soon.
Cowardice
