- October 28, 2018
- Psychology of Personality
- Ekaterina Grigorieva
Life is an unpredictable thing. You never know where the chosen path will lead. It’s good if it turned out to be true and led to your dream. What if the path turned out to be not only difficult, but also burdening your life. After all, it happens that it is not you who choose, but for you. For example, this is what parents often do with their children, constantly deciding everything for them. Moreover, the children may already be 20 or 30 years old. What to do when life doesn't suit you? Is there a second chance to start living the life you dream of, or has the train left? How to overcome fear and take a step towards happiness? Read about all this in the article.
Fear of change
Waking up the next morning, you realize that this day will not be different from the previous one. Everything is repeated in a circle, the routine sucks you in more and more. Is there any meaning to these days? The soul and heart shout: “I want to start a new life!” But it’s long overdue, but cold reason dictates: be afraid of change, because it’s unknown where your dreams will lead. Better boring stability than a step into the unknown. And so days, weeks, years go by. Then old age comes, and a person regrets what he did not do, but could have done.
The fear of the unknown leads millions of people on its “leash.” They live according to a simulated plot, leaving dreams for later. And only a few take a step and refuse to be afraid. They enjoy their days. After all, each of them is filled with meaning, joy and pleasure. Remember: it's never too late to start living the way you want! By giving up your fears and imposed beliefs, you can achieve what you want.
Embodiment of change. Determining the main goals
So, when no psychological blocks prevent you from implementing the necessary life transformations, it is time to outline your own intentions. To do this, it is worth thinking about exactly what area they concern and in what way they should be expressed. Maybe these transformations should concern a career? Or are we talking about a change of residence? Think about what your goals are.
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What we regret
There are moments in every person's life that we passionately regret. Of course, we don’t show it, but we deeply regret the missed opportunities. Many such moments are especially vividly remembered before going to bed. You lie there and imagine: what if I had acted differently? The brain draws pictures of a ghostly possible future that has already been missed.
Thoughts that “tomorrow I will change everything” most often remain nightly fantasies. A person is held back by the fear of starting something new. And then regret sets in again, and so on in a circle. It’s so difficult to change something, to give up the usual, stable rhythm of life. How can you decide to make changes that can make your life happy? First of all, you need to stop doubting and start acting immediately.
Get rid of what's bothering you
Often, certain difficulties that burden us on the path of change prevent us from transforming our own lives. These can be both external and internal obstacles. External ones, as a rule, include certain kinds of relationships or obligations imposed on us from the outside. For example, an adult daughter may constantly demonstrate behavior dependent on her mother. She won’t go on a date to help her beloved parent weed the tomatoes in the dacha or do some general cleaning. However, the daughter will not be able to become independent and learn to build her own life if she continues to act to please her mother.
In this case, many psychologists recommend revising our own values and, if necessary, getting rid of those things that pull us back. If it is important and valuable for us to maintain certain relationships, or to remain under the influence of other limiting factors, well, in that case it is worth refusing to change. If life transformations come first, you need to think about what price you will have to pay for them.
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Setting goals
Now that you've taken the first step, it's time to prioritize your list. Having noted genuine aspirations, you need to add a few additional columns. You should note the following points:
- Resources are needed to achieve the goal. Here you write down what you already have and what else you will need additionally.
- Assess the possibility of execution and resource extraction. Add to the list and make amendments.
Now comes the hard part. You must “see” yourself in the already accomplished future. This practice will allow you to concentrate as much as possible and get closer to the fulfillment of your desires.
It's never too late to change the plot of your life
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Spoiled failed relationships, unrealized plans, stagnation and lack of development - all this depresses and makes you give up.
You are hesitant to continue trying, because all your efforts to take a step forward and correct a bunch of mistakes and mistakes you have made do not work. You think that you are practically at the very bottom of your life, but you are afraid to do something “so that it doesn’t get worse.” But even if you fear the worst, you can still work on changes slowly and in small steps.
Imagine that after some time you discover that you are no longer living according to your old scenario - you have broken out of it.
Drive away fear
Fear of change, something new and unknown is a normal feeling inherent in every person. However, sometimes this feeling is like a trap and does not allow you to be happy. Your task is to overcome your fear. After all, it’s never too late to start taking action to get what your soul so desires.
Having reached the end, people laugh at the fears that tormented them at the beginning.
Paulo Coelho
It is important to understand what caused this feeling. This is where pen and paper come into play again. Remember that it is never too late to start living the way you want. Describe your desires, and then note what prevents you from getting closer to them. Having identified the “enemy”, it will be easier to deal with it.
If you are unable to carry out such work yourself, then contact a specialist. A psychologist will help you understand the current situation. Together you can find the answer and build the right course of action. You must understand that you are the master of your destiny. How your life will go is up to you to decide.
Just understand that society has learned to rationalize its fear, reinforcing it daily with the belief that nothing will change. The negativity pouring from blue screens drives people into a state of suspended animation, assuring them that it is correct to live “under dictation.” But you have the right to choose for yourself when it is better to start a new business that will bring happiness and satisfaction from life.
Energy is within yourself, not outside
For example, many women experience the greatest strength when they are close to the men they love. Representatives of the stronger sex, in turn, do not neglect alcoholic beverages, smoking, and frequent changes of ladies. In both cases, a person can be saturated with energy, but it is no good for radical changes in life, since it is very quickly depleted. In this case, the source of strength is not inside the personality itself, but outside. That is why such people so often walk in their own lives, as if in a vicious circle. They need to find sources of inspiration and motivation that will allow them to be filled with energy from within. In this case, there will always be enough strength to implement life changes.
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Recharging before the “fight”
Any undertaking requires energy. And global changes also bring a lot of strength. Therefore, you should find a personal way to recharge that will fill your mind and body with the energy to get things done. Perhaps you experience a surge of energy while dancing or, conversely, meditating in silence. Do what makes you feel ecstatic and gives you energy. Filled with positive emotions, you yourself will not notice how you have become much closer to your dream.
An important point: you need to eliminate negative factors from your life. Or reduce them to the maximum minimum. Don’t be afraid to say no to arrogant people who slow you down on the path to the life of your dreams. Feel free to disconnect unnecessary ballast, it makes sailing easier. You can leave at any time and start a new life without regretting what you have done. After all, everyone makes their own choice.
Have fun and joy
One of the most important tips for those who want to transform their being. Positive emotions are the fuel without which it is impossible to move forward in any endeavor. Especially when it comes to such large-scale projects as a holistic change in life for the better. When we need to bring even a simple task to fruition, it still requires the investment of a certain amount of internal effort and energy. If everything needs to be changed radically, then this aspect should be given special attention.
Each of us likes certain things. And here it is extremely important to understand what exactly fills you with energy. What kind of activities bring you the greatest pleasure and joy? Of course, we are not talking about excessive drinking, lying on the couch, or endless gossip with colleagues. You need to find activities that will be a real source of energy for you. It seems that this is easy to do, but finding such cases in reality is not so easy. The problem is further aggravated by the fact that modern people are accustomed to powerful energy stimulants, and ordinary sources no longer have such a strong effect on them.
Right now
Don't think that all opportunities are missed. It's never too late to start changing your reality. The word "late" can be used to describe a ruined lunch that should be thrown in the trash. But this is not the way to deal with life. This may not be the best time for you. Any life circumstances are temporary and can be corrected. Now is the best time to start taking action for your own good. Remember that yesterday is in the past and will not come back. Don’t torment yourself with the past and gone, live in the present and build your future.
To live simply means to start over forever.
Bernard Werber
Now is the time to believe in yourself. Don't expect someone to come and do everything for you. It doesn't happen that way. Everything is in your hands.
"I have no money"
This psychological attitude sounds more like an excuse. Of course, for objective reasons, a person may not have the financial capacity to realize his own endeavors. However, to say this means to limit your own ability to earn money. If you do not set yourself the goal of achieving a certain level of well-being, then all your dreams will remain ethereal.
In addition to refraining from this justification phrase, it is useful to practice gratitude for the material benefits that you have now. Even if it seems like a “trifle,” this practice still allows you to develop a so-called abundance mentality and change destructive psychological attitudes to more positive ones.
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Motivation
If you find it difficult to motivate yourself to achieve far-sighted plans, then you should ask your “I” a few questions:
- What's stopping you from achieving your dream life?
- Will you regret missed opportunities in old age?
- How long can you watch others enjoy life, and you just sigh with envy?
These are just a few of the questions you should ask yourself. You don't have to wait for a special day to start over. The quote: “It is never too late to become what you want to be” (George Eliot) clearly confirms this. After all, the man speaks his mind. Only you can make yourself into what you want. No one is forcing you or holding you back. Try to change the settings of your usual reality to the one you dream about. And as time passes, you will still regret that you did not decide on a happy life earlier. After all, time is priceless. And spending it on an unhappy existence is, at a minimum, unfair.
Do you know what, according to statistics, older people regret most? Most of all they regret that they devoted their lives to an unloved business. That they were afraid of change. But in old age they come to the realization that everything could have worked out. But they just missed a lot of time. And other lucky people, although already in old age, still decide to fulfill their desires, realizing that this is their last chance. So why wait and create imaginary obstacles for yourself? After all, you have the opportunity to realize your plans and live the life you dream of.
Many people, after reaching a certain age threshold, think that no radical changes can happen in their lives. And thanks to this opinion, they limit themselves by setting themselves the wrong programs. But believe me, at any age a person has a chance to achieve dizzying success. This requires faith and perseverance. We have prepared for you material about rich and famous people who achieved success in adulthood. We really hope this information inspires you!
Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's
Sold paper cups until age 52
“In 1954 I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and arthritis. They removed my gallbladder and most of my thyroid gland. But I believed in the future,” this is how Ray Kroc recalled the fateful moment when he met the McDonald brothers. In addition to numerous illnesses, he was deaf and poor. Kroc was a famous businessman, but all his businesses regularly failed. When he needed $15,000 in cash to buy the McDonald's distribution license in 1954, not a single bank would give him a loan. He had to mortgage the house and insurance, after which he lived another 30 years and earned 600 million.
Harland David Sanders (Colonel Sanders), KFC
At the age of 40, he came up with the idea of cooking fried chicken for visitors to his gas station.
The fate of the founder of a chain of fast food restaurants is interesting: he lost his father early, his mother worked a lot, and from an early age he was responsible for food in the house. In addition, he started working early (at the age of 10), tried many specialties, and at 12 he left home because... The relationship with my stepfather did not work out. You could say Colonel Sanders is the embodiment of the American dream. “I believe that fried chicken is the Symbol of American Hospitality. That's right - in capital letters. And it doesn’t matter to me who sits at your table - a king, a big shot or a simple person. Once you have a guest, your job is to feed him well,” says Harland Sanders.
JK Rowling, author of Harry Potter
Until the age of 31 she was a single mother on welfare
She came up with the idea for the novel in 1990, and over the next seven years she lost her job and divorced her husband, and lived in poverty until she published the first novel in the series in 1997. She is now Britain's best-selling author and has gone from living in poverty to becoming a multi-millionaire in five years.
Amancio Ortega, owner of Zara
Until the age of 37 he worked as an assistant in a store
Due to the poverty of his family, Amancio was unable to even finish high school and at the age of 13 he began working as a messenger in a shirt store. When he was 37 years old, Amancio opened his own knitting factory. At first, he and his wife Rosalia sewed robes, nightgowns and lingerie in the living room of their own home. One day, a client canceled an order for a large batch of linen, and in order to save the business, the couple decided to sell the linen themselves. So they opened a Zorba store in 1975; Amancio was 40 years old at the time. And in 2012, Bloomberg recognized Ortega as the richest man in Europe - his holding owns the textile brands Zara, Massimo Dutti, Bershka, Oysho, Pull & Bear, Zara Home, Stradivarius.
Harrison Ford, actor and producer
Until the age of 30 he was a carpenter
In 1968, Harrison Ford starred in the film Zabriskie Point, but all his scenes were cut out. After that, he decided to leave his acting career and became a carpenter, until George Lucas accidentally met him and invited him to the filming of the film “American Graffiti.” Harrison Ford was 30 years old at that time.
Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay
She worked as a sales agent until she was 45 years old.
Mary Kay worked as a sales agent for 25 years without receiving a promotion. She was 45 years old when she decided to quit and write a book about women and business. During the writing process, the book turned into a business plan for her ideal company, and she decided to sell skin care products. In 1963, Mary Kay and her husband founded Mary Kay Cosmetics with a starting capital of $5,000. “I wanted to create a company that would empower women—every woman with a family and children—to be in charge of their own career,” says Mary.
Henry Ford, creator of the Ford Motor Company
He founded his company only at the age of 40
Born into a family of immigrants from Ireland, he ran away from home in his youth and went to work in Detroit. Until the age of 36, he was a mechanical engineer at the Edison company. He designed his first car at the age of 30 and founded his own company only ten years later. The company's greatest success came with the release of the Ford T model in 1908, Henry Ford was 45 years old at that time.
Ursula Burns, CEO of Xerox
Until the age of 32, she held junior positions at Xerox.
Ursula was born in a disadvantaged area of Manhattan - the Lower East Side and spent her childhood in the "Baruch houses" - houses for the poor. She received her education and in 1980 came to an internship at Xerox. And in 2009, Ursula became the company's CEO and the first black woman to head an American corporation.
Sheldon Adelson, founder of Las Vegas Sands
Until the age of 30, he sold shampoos and glass cleaners
He dropped out of school at the age of 12 and did everything he could: he sold newspapers, sold soap, shampoo and napkins to hotels, founded the De-Ice-It company with his brother Lenny, selling car defroster sprays, and worked as a mortgage broker. Even his own father was dizzy from the range of business interests of the promising young man: “Sheldon,” an old Boston taxi driver used to say, “you’re like horse manure—you’re everywhere!” He first created a computer exhibition in Las Vegas, and in 1988 he founded the Las Vegas Sands Corporation, the world's largest casino. At that time he was 55 years old.
Manoj Bhargava, creator of 5-Hour Energy
Until the age of 30 he was a monk in a mountain monastery in India
And then he came to the USA and became a businessman - he founded a company that produces energy drinks, 5-Hour Energy. His name is associated with a major scandal due to the harmful effects of drinks, but that is not what the story is about. Just imagine how he managed to transfer his life to another dimension, turning from a hermit into a billionaire.
Andrea Bocelli, singer
Until the age of 33 he played the piano in bars
At the age of 12 he became completely blind; all his life he dreamed of becoming an opera singer. To do this, he went to Turin, where he studied vocals with the famous tenor, earning money in the evenings for piano lessons in various groups. In 1992, Andrea successfully auditions for Italian rock star Zucchero. After this, the demo recording of the song ends up with Luciano Pavarotti and Andrea’s career takes off. Now he is a famous performer and popularizer of opera music.
Ang Lee, director
Was unemployed until age 36
He studied filmmaking in the USA and made a couple of successful student films. But things didn’t go further than that, and he was unemployed for six years. It was only in 1990 (and Lee was already 36 years old) that his scripts won the competition, after which his directorial career began. Now Ang Lee is famous all over the world, and you have probably seen his films: “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Hulk”, “Brokeback Mountain” and “Life of Pi”.
Therefore, our advice to you: do not despair and keep looking. And remember the words of J. R. R. Tolkien: “Not all who wander are lost.”
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