How to stop being shy about people and never be shy again

Ask yourself these questions . Find out for yourself:

• Why are you shy?
• What is the reason that you cannot let go and fully express yourself now?

The answer is obvious:

1. You care about what others think of you.
2. Other people's opinions force you to adapt to society.
3. The opinions of others limit and constrain you; because of it, you do not know how to become relaxed in communication and be yourself.

Answer these questions to overcome shyness

Understand that if you care about other people's opinions, you will be the one who always reacts to others and depends on others.

Reality will be dictated to you, and you will adapt to people.

Ask yourself:

• Do you need this kind of life?
• Do you want to forever be the one who is afraid of other people's opinions and limits himself in everything?
• What will this give you if you continue to be shy?
• Will this help you in any way?
• What do I need to do to be free from everything limiting?

If, for example, you are a guy and don’t know how to stop being shy about girls, then take a pencil and paper and answer these questions to yourself in writing. Do the analysis.

Understand yourself

So, if you see the need to combat your shyness, that's a good thing. But inner freedom is unattainable without introspection. Think about what is the hidden reason for your uncertainty; it’s good if the answer to this question is found on your own.

If nothing works out, you should seek help from a psychologist. An individual consultation is ideal, since if you yourself don’t understand what you want, online communication is unlikely to help you. A competent specialist reads information about your personality not only by what you say, but also by your appearance, clothing and other non-verbal factors. All this is noticeable only during a personal meeting.

You limit yourself and attach importance to other people's opinions

Ask yourself:

“Who is the one who is stopping you from becoming a more liberated person?”

The answer is “ You yourself !”

Don't play the role of the little man

1. You're the one who gave too much weight to someone else's opinion.
2. It was you who decided to become shy.
3. Everyone plays roles without realizing that they are roles.
4. It was you who chose to play the role of a pathetic person.
5. You yourself want to believe in the importance of someone else’s opinion - this is their power.

These are only your actions and zero actions from life.

What you need to do and realize:

1. Challenge yourself!
2. Understand that this is only your life and no one will kick you. Nobody needs your tightness.
3. Don't expect success from life or permission to liberate yourself.
4. These are your actions and zero action from life and no response from society.
5. It’s you who take and take away and don’t wait for something to come to you.

There will always be people who hate you

There will always be those people who hate you and who are angry with you.

There will always be those who don't like you.

There is no point in trying to please them and consider their opinions.

It's not even worth wasting your time on such people.

I would rather do what I do and have fun than sit and discuss behind the back of a person going towards his goal.

Why are we shy

In sexual life, modesty and tightness do not help a woman. The process of love, which was supposed to connect two people, becomes monotonous, mechanical. When a girl is embarrassed to express herself in bed, the relationship with her lover becomes cold, the partners begin to move away from each other, so it is not at all surprising if the guy begins to cheat. Let's look at the main causes of the problem.

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Uncertainty about one's own beauty

The girl focuses on the shortcomings of the body; it always seems to her that the man notices them. She is shy, thinks about how she should look so that her figure is proportional. For such couples, sex most often occurs in the dark so that the partner does not see anything. Constant criticism leads to the fact that a woman cannot relax and enjoy herself.

Complexes arise for various reasons: due to relationships with parents, peers or men. When a girl lacks love, all this is reflected in her intimate life.

Psychological trauma

Unpleasant events affect the psyche. Trauma may be caused by a woman being abused or witnessing an unpleasant scene. An unsuccessful first time with humiliation and insults blocks intimate freedom.

Miseducation

When parents do not discuss sex with a girl, she does not receive the necessary sex education. She often equates intimacy with a crime. In adulthood, she will not be able to enjoy physical contacts and will be embarrassed.

Therefore, it is important that parents during the transition period educate their children in intimate matters and instill in them a healthy attitude towards sex.

READ How to politely refuse a nice guy without offending him

Parental influence

The image of the people who are close to the girl also affects her attraction to the stronger sex. If a father does not love his daughter and does not pay attention to her, then she develops complexes. When a mother treats men poorly, all this is reflected in her attitude towards sex.

Ignorance of male anatomy

When the first contacts with a representative of the stronger sex occur without knowledge of the characteristics of the male body, the girl becomes shy, tries to constantly control her movements, think through every step, which leads to tightness.

Advanced analysis: is what is bothering you real?

Ask yourself questions:

• What is stopping you from getting rid of shyness and tightness right now?
• What's holding you back?

Answers:

1. It's your insecurity.
2. Exaggerated fears.
3. Fear of public opinion.
4. Thoughts.
5. Parenting.
6. Social programming.

It's up to you to choose whether to believe in limitations or not.

You choose: either to believe in what society and your parents instilled in you, or not .

Be beyond the social matrix.

You create your own world

The whole world is your movie, your world, your reality. Society and its opinions are outside your reality.

You choose your environment, not the other way around.

Give up thoughts about the future and expectations that someone will help you or tell you how to open up in communication with people and solve your problems.

Who will help you is you ! You are the generator of your own actions .

All you can lose is your own lack of freedom

What happens if you:

• will you act in a way that is not accepted by society?
• Will you seem like a fool in the eyes of others?
• if they point a finger at you?
• what if they refuse you?

Answer : “ NOTHING will happen !”

And even more: you will lose your old limiting beliefs!

You want it ⇒ you do it ⇒ you get it.

Effective ways to solve the problem

If you are wondering how to become a relaxed and sociable person, and have already decided on motivating factors, then use the following practical tips:

• Improve your personal qualities by developing your imagination and analytical skills, training your memory and expanding your vocabulary. Being well-read is an integral part of the image of a sociable person who has a sufficient amount of specialized knowledge to maintain a conversation on any topic.
• Enroll in a theater speech course where professionals will teach you useful lessons. Having learned to express your own thoughts correctly and beautifully, you will notice dramatic changes in the structure of your dialogue with a stranger. The interlocutor will immediately appreciate your intelligence and the scope of your vocabulary, showing respect.
• Regularly have intimate conversations with yourself in front of the mirror to monitor your own facial expressions and eye position. Eliminate biting and licking your lips from your set of bad habits, stop looking at the floor, and add a smile to your daily routine.
• Learn to control intonation and select timbre in accordance with the nature of the current situation. The emotional background of the conversation directly depends on the tone of the voice.
• Come up with effective phrases that can be used in dialogues on various topics. A standard greeting or farewell is a useful aid in starting a conversation with a stranger, eliminating confusion and prolonged silence.
• Respect the other person's opinion without neglecting your own thoughts. A constructive dispute, in which participants in the dialogue appeal to facts, always evokes the respect of others and opponents.
• Above all, gain respect in a circle of like-minded people, where you can advise and express your own opinions. Only after achieving this goal should you begin conversations on distant topics with strangers that involve stressful situations and unpleasant questions.

• Know how to listen, but do not hesitate to interrupt the interlocutor who is talking. Participate in the dialogue, rather than become a witness to a tear-jerking monologue.
• Don't forget about your sense of humor by regularly practicing jokes on friends and acquaintances. Through a cheerful or sarcastic phrase, you can change the interlocutor’s attitude towards you or change the vector of events.
• An effective way of the 21st century to help develop communication skills is communication on social networks. Take courage and meet the person you are interested in by starting a conversation with a simple joke or an intriguing greeting.

Remember that your impression of a person is based on various factors. Having learned to carry on a conversation, do not forget to take care of your appearance, having first familiarized yourself with the rules of etiquette

Using the above recommendations, you can cultivate your communication skills by regularly honing your existing and recently acquired skills. The main advantage of sociability training lies in the everyday life of the average person, who has to carry on a conversation with strangers and answer unpleasant questions.

Modesty is an extremely important quality that testifies to a person’s upbringing and moral principles. The pinnacle of personal development is a harmonious combination of appropriate shyness and sociability, relaxedness and brevity.

You're being bothered by something that doesn't exist, or by yourself

All the limitations that your mind creates - they don’t exist !

Abuse, negativity, disapproval, evil and other rubbish. Everything that prevents you from translating your ideas into reality, focusing on action and becoming relaxed in communication - all this does not exist .

Get out of the herd mentality.

It turns out that what prevents you from stopping being shy and modest is either yourself or something that does not exist.

Don't believe in something that doesn't exist. Believe in yourself.

There are no restrictions.

Important awareness: how not to depend on other people's opinions

This is the key! This is the most important insight where people fail.

Don't be fueled by good reactions! Absolutely! DO NOT let the praise get to you! Don’t let anything external dictate and paint your personality, even if it’s good words of praise about you. You should not receive anything from the outside to confirm your confidence! Simply put: you don’t need people to validate your worth!

This is where dependence on other people's bad reactions to you comes from.

dependence on other people's opinions comes from

Reaction to praise, someone else's approval = Reaction to someone else's curse, condemnation, disapproval

Remember the following realizations and beliefs:

1. Whether you received a good reaction from other people to you or a bad one – it has nothing to do with you!
2. You are always self-sufficient, fulfilled and good without external stimulation.
3. Approve yourself and don't need other people's approval.

Remember and learn! And no one can touch you anymore!

Express yourself fully, don't be afraid to be yourself

When there is an understanding that what hinders you and limits you does not exist, then all that remains is to simply overcome all these little things .

• Express yourself fully and do not hold back any words or emotions.
• If you want to laugh, laugh.
• If you want to dance, dance. If you want to leave, leave.
• Don't filter the words, let them flow.
• Don't be afraid to be louder with your words, express yourself fully, and be a visible person.

All this will give you a good feeling and help you overcome shyness.

The more you do this, the more your self-expression and your own presentation in communication becomes stronger.

All you will lose if you become free is your own lack of freedom .

There are no mistakes: no matter what happens, everything leads you to success

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because there are none.

You can't make a mistake. Change your perception!

It is illusory to think that a mistake is when they point fingers at you or discuss you. It's not a mistake.

The real mistake is when you are afraid to be yourself and don’t allow yourself to say what you want because you attach importance to other people’s opinions. This is a lie .

Be confident!

How to become liberated? Before understanding this issue, you need to understand that your excessive modesty in communication is not at all the norm. Long gone are the days when women were calm and submissive, and men ruled the world. Today, a girl has the opportunity to provide for herself, wear jeans and more. The main thing is that a woman can be as active an interlocutor as a man, and even start a conversation first.

And this is not at all a lack of politeness or an arrogant character, but just the ability to accept oneself. Liberated girls are not those young ladies who easily meet guys in a nightclub, they are those who love themselves. At the same time, they are aware of their shortcomings, but, unlike the bulk of the population, they do not think about them every hour. Excessive modesty is unusual for them. Such women know how to present themselves from the right, best side, and therefore no one who knows them simply notices any shortcomings.

Do what you're scared of

Always do what you're scared of ! The first four attempts will be awkward, but by the fifth you will get used to it. By the tenth you will forget.

Otherwise, if you keep everything to yourself and remain shy, you close yourself off from communication. You will be reserved and not open to people.

When do people usually start to change?

• You will realize how to get rid of shyness and shyness exactly when you understand that there is no point in postponing and the time has come to change.
• When this is the very thing for you that needs to be done first.
• You will get rid of everything that bothers you when it becomes the most important thing in life for you, and you will no longer be able to remain idle and procrastinate.
• You will understand that you need to stop being shy and blushing over nonsense right now and not a moment later.

Do everything against yourself

Embarrassment and uncertainty are insidious advisers; they will offer you thousands of reasons why it is better to abandon your plan. As soon as you notice that you are looking for an excuse to sneak away, know that this is exactly what you cannot do. Go against yourself every time you notice signs of embarrassment, make it a habit.

Come to the public speaking training course at the Benefis theater studio. During the courses we will teach you:

• How to remove psychological pressures and relax
• How to improve your diction
• How to make your voice strong and confident
• How to deliver a beautiful and confident speech
• How to clearly and competently convey your thoughts and ideas

And much more

Choose the most suitable course for yourself.
We conduct classes for adults and children in the center of Moscow. Find out more about the courses Find out more about the courses

Video "Crazy Guy"

In the following video, fearless guy Remy takes to the playing field and sports fields during live broadcasts and skillfully impersonates a team player.

A football team in the French top league wins the cup and Remy manages to sneak onto the field in the form of a club player and lightheartedly celebrate the triumph with the official players. They even take him for one of their own, and no one suspects anything. Remy is not embarrassed or stopped by anything, because he knows everything about how to stop being shy and not worry about other people's opinions.

Very interesting and funny video.

Manipulation of human consciousness: how people are zombified, about social programming and the psychology of managing people.

How to become more self-confident as a girl, informed tips on how to gain self-confidence - we tell you at the link.

Seven ways to competently respond to insults and rudeness, with examples.

My old memories of other people's opinions

I, too, was once humble because I gave a lot of importance to other people's opinions. I thought it was supposedly important.

There were negative people who talked about me behind my back and said nasty things. And I reacted to this. At that time, I simply did not take care of myself.

Whatever happens, everything is for the better.

When I gave up on everyone, began to engage in self-development, made several thousand acquaintances and read a lot of literature - I was simply out of reach .

I took steps several years ahead in terms of awareness , ahead of everyone who once judged me or gossiped about me.

Those who once tried to hurt me verbally, said nasty things behind my back, are left there in their own shit.

Looking at them now and remembering them is like looking into a toilet where nothing has been flushed yet.

I’m sincerely surprised now that I used to worry about other people’s opinions.

But it made me very strong and I don't regret anything.

These old friends still suffer from their cockroaches and mental problems.

And I solved all these problems several years ago.

I am in a stable good condition, I am happy and moving forward!

To be honest

When the famous showman Larry King came on the first radio broadcast in his life, he was so worried that he could not speak. During the first three minutes of the broadcast, radio amateurs listened to silence, after which Larry blurted out:

“Hello, I'm Larry King. This is my first broadcast on the radio, I rehearsed the text all night and all morning, now my throat hurts terribly, and I’m worried so much that for three minutes I couldn’t bring myself to speak.”

After he honestly told the listeners about his situation, he felt better, and until the end of the broadcast he no longer felt embarrassed.

How I left my comfort zone and played with reality

My crazy actions

I did a lot of crazy and crazy things when I gave up on other people's opinions. Just very. I can't remember everything at once.

• I remember how I went into the supermarket wearing only shorts and sneakers.
• I experimented a lot in dating girls. It happened that I bit unfamiliar girls on the ass and only then began to get to know each other.
• I approached the girls sitting on the bench, turned on the song on my phone and shook to the music in front of them. And then he sat down and started chatting.
• Sometimes I approached the girls in the club like a stripper, danced, looked with passionate eyes, and put their hands on me. They liked it. They were simply delighted!

I love adrenaline. I love coming up with something new.

I'm just playing with the social matrix.

I'm just breaking social programming. It doesn't matter what people around me think, it matters what I think.

All people think about what I think about them!

What is a person’s ego: obvious signs of a large EGO and a person’s sense of self-importance, we will learn how to get rid of arrogance and become more conscious.

How to stop being afraid of a fight and not be afraid of a mess - tips from psychology and esotericism, useful exercises, read the link.

How to dance in a club for a guy, 3 videos of guys who dance wherever they want - you can see here.

Important Reminder

If you do some crazy things in society, always know when to stop.

Always know how to stop on time !

Don’t cross the line of people’s patience, know how to calibrate!

Don't act too unnecessarily inappropriate, otherwise you might end up in trouble. There is no need to scare people.

Work on your appearance

To no longer feel constant embarrassment about your appearance, try simply changing it for the better. This directly applies to all women. What can be done about this?

Think about your appearance

Visit a cosmetologist, undergo several useful, anti-aging procedures, make nourishing face masks. All this together will raise your tone, give you even more self-confidence and will definitely affect your appearance. Go shopping and buy yourself several sets of women's intimate lingerie, so that you can show off the heat to your boyfriend or husband. If you think carefully, there will be a lot of options. Therefore, you have something to work on!