Expecting anything from other people very often leads to disappointment. Don't let your happiness depend on someone else, because everything is in your hands.
Expecting too much from other people instead of making yourself happy will have the opposite effect. You should never become dependent on third parties, because no one knows what will happen tomorrow, everything can change, people will become completely different. They can hurt us. And, unfortunately, no one is immune from this. But we live surrounded by expectations, often unrealistic. And only when one disappointment follows another do we begin to realize that perhaps it is time to change our attitude towards other people. You need to stop expecting too much from them - this is a good solution to the problem.
Mismatch between expectations and reality leads to disappointment
Waiting for something that will never happen (or even if there is such a possibility, but it is very small) is the wrong action: it will invariably cause us to suffer from disappointment.
Don't expect too much... Just because you have no control over it: people act in accordance with their own interests. They can change their point of view at any time.
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But do you know who you can definitely rely on? On ourselves, and nothing more!
Based on the above, we bring to your attention 4 ways that can help you change your attitude towards others. And make this “transition” as smooth as possible. So that you stop expecting too much from other people without experiencing excruciating suffering. Believe me, this will free you and allow you to throw off the burden of unrealistic expectations that you were careless to trust. It's time to stop waiting and finally start living.
How to stop waiting for something all your life and finally start living? Talking to a Psychologist
“It seems to me that I’ve been waiting for something all my life, and not really living. Here are examples from life: my husband has a traveling job, he is not home for several months. And for me, the holiday is usually not even the fact that he returns home, but a week-long ritual of preparation for this event. I have been wanting to go on vacation for a long time; I have a dream to visit Thailand. And we keep saving and saving for this trip, but we can’t save up. It seems that it would be possible to fly with the amount that we have, but I want more. And now we wait again.
At work they offered to lead another project. In the end, all I do is work. And now it seems that now I’ll earn some money and live... but so far there’s only constant fatigue, and there’s not even satisfaction from the amount of work I love. And so in my life with many things - with plans, purchases, meetings. I’m probably doing something wrong, but how can I get out of this “shell”....”
You need to stop this race and think: “where am I running”
Liliya Rubtsova , chief freelance psychologist of Bobruisk and Bobruisk region, comments on the situation
Liliya Rubtsova
– Each of us wants to live an interesting life. But everyone has their own concept of an “interesting life”. It depends on what is important and valuable to you in a given period, what you want to achieve. Often we feel that life is passing us by when we do not enjoy the momentary moments, do not celebrate our today's successes, and do not give thanks for what we already have.
What needs to happen for you to decide to change something in your life? There must be time. Or rather, you yourself must create this time in your life to stop and think about where I’m running, why I need this, and whether it’s leading me to my goals.
The problem, like many things, comes from childhood.
You yourself call your life a “shell”, and this is an accurate description. “The Sink” is truly addictive, sometimes forever. With meetings and plans for “later” postponed, life itself is postponed. And it’s not about travel or shopping, it’s about your doubts about the correctness of your actions. These doubts may have begun to form in your childhood (the most common reason for such behavior). Their reason is a deep conviction within yourself that you “don’t deserve to get the best.” In fact, it is self-doubt, and you need to work on yourself to begin to accept yourself, with all your shortcomings.
Troubles walk hand in hand
You can turn off this “ancient program” only by serious work on yourself. A person lives his life “for others” or “in debt” when he is not aware of his needs and does not know how to satisfy them. This person puts the interests of family, relatives, children or work first, intuitively expecting that at some point they will take care of him as well. Alas! There is no point in waiting if you yourself do not know what exactly you need. And as a result - disappointment with life. But all of life is a big mirror, and everything is reflected in it - both people’s attitude towards themselves, and their attitude towards others and towards the world as a whole.
People receive in this life only what they reflect. And if a person does not accept and love himself, then the world around him (the mirror) answers him in the same way.
Not accepting yourself prevents you from building effective communication with others and being happy. Troubles walk hand in hand as a group. In a bad mood, people seem to attract conflicts and problems.
Changing the situation is difficult, but possible
This is why I insist that you need to start with yourself! If it so happens that your upbringing and all your life experiences have made you a person who does not love yourself, changing this will not be easy or quick. But absolutely every person is able to walk this path, increase self-esteem and self-esteem, begin to take care of themselves and make their life fulfilling and joyful.
Start changing with the way you think, the way you respond to circumstances and the actions of other people.
Illustrative photo pixabay.com
Try to become confident in at least something. When you say: “I probably want ...,” then stop and figure out if you really want this if you say the word “probably”? An adult himself, without outside help, decides what, when and how to do, makes decisions and is responsible for them.
Get rid of such phrases: “it happened,” “it just happened,” “what can I do?” Remember: you and only you decide what to do!
There are no mistakes, only experience
For self-love to arise, you need to take responsibility and understand that no matter where you find yourself now, this is the result of your decisions, which means that you can change everything. Understand that there are no mistakes. Even when you (in your opinion) made a “wrong” decision, you proceeded from the idea of maximizing benefit with the amount of information that was available at the time. Now, based on this experience and knowing more, you can make a better decision for yourself.
The best moment is now
Don't look for the past, don't look for the future; the past has disappeared, the future has not yet arrived. But watch here this thing called “now.” Buddha
People who live in the past are prone to depression because they understand that nothing can change. People who constantly think about the future are actually anxious, they are afraid of the future. Only psychologically prosperous, happy people can live today, enjoying the here and now.
Don't wait for the perfect moment! If you want to do something, start right now: open your calendar, choose the day and time when you take the first step! Good luck!
Reason: I'm afraid of ruining it
Synonyms:
- I won’t succeed in whole or in part, I’m afraid I’ll mess up
- Some may not like the result
- I have doubts that I will be able to do this perfectly.
