Self-criticism - how to stop remembering your mistakes?

Self-criticism is a habit of introspection and self-criticism. Self-criticism refers to anger and dissatisfaction directed at oneself. It is characterized by the presence of several forms of manifestation, namely: soft, hard and sad. The soft one includes the habit of reproaching one’s own personality, the hard one - self-accusation and self-flagellation, the sad one - the habit of dramatizing mistakes and sending joyless thoughts of the same content in a circle. The psychology of self-criticism is sometimes similar to a child’s defense mechanism. Children believe that if they scold themselves, they will thereby free their own candidacy from punishment from their close adult environment.

Self-criticism - what is it?

Psychologists understand this term as a negative analysis of one’s actions, behavior, character traits, which is accompanied by emotions of dissatisfaction and disapproval.

Types of self-deprecation depending on the severity of manifestations:

1. Mild degree - a person scolds himself so that those around him feel sorry for him. No mental harm is caused. Demonstrative humiliation eliminates responsibility. Scolding yourself so that others don’t do it is a manifestation of a mild degree of self-flagellation.
2. Severe degree - a person torments himself not for the pity of others, but out of a sense of increased responsibility. This form is more destructive to mental health.
3. Neurotic degree - self-criticism becomes a habit. It becomes so rooted in character that a person does not notice it. Getting rid of the neurotic form is the most difficult. It is difficult for a psychologist to make a client realize the problem.

At its core, the neurotic form of self-flagellation is a disease, a type of neurosis. The victim is haunted by a constant obsessive thought that does not correspond to reality: “I am bad. I'm doing everything wrong. I'll just ruin everything."

The therapist’s task is to find the cause of this inner voice and eliminate it as quickly as possible.

In advanced cases, neurosis develops into depression. Self-criticism is a symptom that distinguishes depression from sad mood. Apathy (indifference to the outside world), suicidal thoughts and attempts that accompany the disease make it extremely dangerous.

Be an active person

Don't play ostrich. Do not forget that the best way not to become isolated in your own experiences is to give them a way out in time. Find something you like. For example, you can try your hand at creativity.

It often happens that reflective natures are sensitive people with imagination and the ability to improvise. So why not put these qualities to use? Try to find “your” means of self-expression. It doesn’t matter what you do: cross-stitch or write novels. The main thing is that by doing what you love, seeing the results of your work and receiving positive feedback about it, you will more often feel the joy of life.

And the most important. Remember, you yourself decide what to do: timidly watch the action from behind the scenes, doubt your abilities and never dare to go on stage. Or pluck up courage, spit on prejudices and play the first role in the play. The second, although more difficult, is much more interesting. And there will be no time left for self-criticism.

Tags: self-improvement, self-analysis, self-criticism, useful tips, joy of life, self-criticism, self-flagellation, worries, emotional experience

Self-criticism and self-flagellation

Self-flagellation and self-humiliation are synonyms for the term “self-criticism.” Self-criticism is its complete opposite.

All people are prone to make mistakes. Everyone thinks about them, analyzes them, looks for solutions and ways to avoid mistakes in the future. Learning from your own mistakes is absolutely normal. In psychology this is called positive concentration. The person is focused on improving his life.

For Samoyeds, torment is an established part of their character. They do not look for ways to solve problems and do not learn from mistakes. The way out of the situation is to do nothing at all. For them, this is the only way to avoid mistakes. This way of thinking is called negative concentration. A person is focused on his shortcomings.

Mental disorders accompanying self-criticism:

• fear of doing things;
• decreased mood;
• diffidence;
• anxiety and restlessness;
• desire to punish yourself.

Self-flagellation leads to negative consequences, unlike rational self-criticism. Self-criticism is not a move forward, but a step back!

What are the consequences of self-criticism, why is it dangerous?

Consequences of self-criticism

• Self-criticism blocks good emotions, which forces you to constantly express dissatisfaction with your life, appearance and actions
• Samoyeds do not sleep well, they are always anxious and this steals time
• A person cannot reveal his talents because self-criticism makes him feel helpless
• Rational thinking is turned off. Anyone who constantly engages in self-flagellation becomes fixated on his experiences, and therefore cannot get out of such a situation.

Nobody likes people who always scold themselves. And this is logical, how can others like you if you don’t accept yourself as you are?

A constant feeling of guilt leads to the fact that you can become a “victim of manipulation.” Skilled manipulators actively manage such people

To put it simply, self-criticism becomes the cause of physical, energetic and psychological exhaustion. Changing the situation is possible if you give up the bad habit of delving into yourself.

Where does the habit of self-flagellation come from?

Temperament is a stable characteristic of a person, determined by a set of genes in the body. Character is formed throughout life as a result of upbringing, the influence of society, and the presence of personal interests. Self-humiliation, being a character trait, is mainly formed in childhood. Over time, only the severity of the bad habit changes.

The main reasons for self-criticism:

1. Inadequate upbringing.
2. Imbalance in three components of personality: adult, child and parent, with a predominance of the latter.
3. Fear of responsibility.
4. Low self-esteem.

Inadequate parenting refers to excessive criticism of parents. The child’s psyche is designed in such a way that he needs praise. Children do not understand that they did something right until they hear it from the lips of their authority - mom or dad. Samoyeds grow up from teenagers who were under constant pressure from their parents.

Psychologist E. Berne describes personality as a combination of adult, child and parental components. They have the following functions:

• child – emotions, expressive actions, mood, intuition, impressions;
• adult – adequate self-analysis and self-criticism, reflecting reality;
• parent – ​​strict, indestructible ideas that do not always correspond to reality.

The predominant parental component in the Samoyed suppresses the inner adult. There is no adequate analysis of what is happening. A person hears an inner voice expressing the same ideas of self-oppression.

People who are afraid of responsibility constantly torment themselves. Torment is a way to convince yourself not to do something. Absence of action means absence of responsibility for it.

Low self-esteem leads to self-dissatisfaction. Self-flagellation begins, which further lowers self-esteem. A vicious circle closes. You can open it only after increasing confidence and accepting yourself.

Why does a person engage in self-criticism: reasons

Why do we engage in self-criticism?
Every phenomenon has its own reason. Strong self-criticism can develop due to many factors:

• Low self-esteem . If a person is very dissatisfied with himself, then the process of self-criticism begins. Gradually, this lowers self-esteem and makes remorse very strong. This is a very dangerous circle because it will never break until one of the components disappears.
• Miseducation . If mom and dad constantly criticize themselves, then children can become the same. Typically, this situation occurs when the parents are authorities for the child and he tries to live up to them.

Psychologist Eric Berne identified three personality states:

• An adult - in this case, a person objectively assesses reality and looks at the world adequately
• Childish - this state expresses all our desires and dreams
• Parent - this is where all sorts of self-criticism applies.

Each condition must be equal for each person. For example, in overly self-critical people, the parental position is expressed very clearly, and it may well overlap the adult one. As a result, a person constantly continues to engage in self-criticism and does not perceive reality objectively.

In addition, reasons for self-criticism may include:

• Pessimistic views of the world
• The desire to get rid of responsibility and shift it to someone else
• Just a habit. In this case, the person doesn’t seem to be doing anything on purpose, everything somehow works out on its own

Self-criticism as a way to increase one’s importance in society

Weak people use conspicuous self-destruction to increase their sense of self-worth. A person constantly repeats phrases like “I’m not worthy,” “I’m too weak for this,” “I’m not good for anything.” In these empty words, he seeks the support and support of others. He expects those around him to refute these assumptions.

A sense of self-importance can manifest itself through excessive modesty as a type of demonstrative self-criticism. Even after doing something well and hearing praise addressed to him, a person says: “What are you talking about, I didn’t do anything.” Mentally he thinks: “Praise me again.”

People rarely want to get rid of ostentatious self-flagellation. This is beneficial for them. People around him consider such a person modest, and the manipulator increases his sense of self-worth.

Productive and unproductive self-criticism

At the same time, never mentally screaming at yourself is also harmful! Lack of self-criticism is also destructive. And here you need to know when to stop. Sometimes anger is useful, because nothing brings us to tone more than the emotions inherited from our smaller brothers in the process of evolution. Fear and anger are manifestations of two of the most important instincts for survival. One emotion is responsible for the “fight” response, and the other is responsible for the “flight” response. So, if you get angry, the fear will instantly go away, and vice versa. After all, you decided to “beat” all the difficulties on the way to your goal. And when the habit of fighting with difficulties reaches the point of automatism, then what kind of self-flagellation can we talk about?

A self-critical person is a person who is capable of achieving success. But if this quality is exaggerated, then it is no longer productive.

What a person calls willpower is anger directed in a constructive direction. He shouted at himself and took a few steps towards his goal. But here three conditions must be met for criticism to remain constructive:

1. It must precede the action, and not occur after it . That is, if you are afraid to approach a person to talk about some topic important to you, then you should tell yourself “come on, pull yourself together, you rag,” while you still have the opportunity. And if you criticize yourself after you haven’t done it, it will only lead to empty self-flagellation when it’s too late to change something.
2. Less shouting, more severity . There is no need to scold yourself with the last words. Just mentally say “I decided!” And to do this, you need to learn to manage emotions and improve emotional intelligence. Severity is also aggression, but expressed to a reasonable extent and at the right time. And self-flagellation is a complex of emotions and actions divorced from reality, and this is why it is dangerous.
3. Positive emotions after performing an action should cover the negativity that precedes the action . For example, if you didn’t want to achieve a goal, you were internally angry with yourself, started doing it and then got what you wanted, then joy will be many times greater than anger. And next time it will take less effort to get started. Verified.

Many people are interested in what “self-critical” means. This word is usually said in response to a person’s ostentatious self-flagellation or when he criticizes himself constructively. It all depends on the situation. That is, it is impossible to say whether the interlocutor is overly self-critical or everything is in moderation based on one phrase.

Psychosomatics of self-flagellation

Psychosomatics is a branch of medicine and psychology that studies the influence of mental factors on the functioning of internal organs. Diseases that are caused by mental health disorders are called psychosomatic.

People who constantly engage in soul-searching tend to develop the following diseases:

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

• impotence, decreased libido;
• hypertension - high blood pressure;
• hypotension – low blood pressure;
• dermatosis – pathologies of the skin;
• chronic headaches;
• arthrosis – diseases of the joints;
• bronchial asthma;
• peptic ulcer of the stomach and intestines.

Treatment of psychosomatic diseases will be effective when self-criticism can be stopped!

Human addiction: what is it?

Dependence (addiction) on a person is a psychological state in which a dependent individual experiences pathological attachment to the object of his love. Because of this, a person practically loses his personality and lives with the problems and joys of his partner.

Addictive behavior is caused by the inability to take responsibility for one’s feelings and actions, and the addicted person is not always able to cope with the accompanying negative emotions (sadness, doubts, resentment, anxiety, uncertainty) on his own. It takes great courage, and often the help of a competent psychologist, to find the resources to confront yourself and overcome addiction.

How to get rid of the habit of self-flagellation

You need to get rid of self-criticism as quickly as possible before it develops into a depressive disorder.

To overcome constant remorse, follow these steps:

1. Accept yourself.
2. Use the “three questions” rule.
3. Write down plans, thoughts about the future.
4. Master the correct motivation for self-criticism.
5. Find a hobby that you enjoy.

You should begin to fight self-criticism by accepting your character with its inherent shortcomings. You are just a human being who makes mistakes, this is not your fault. Only you have the power to turn disadvantages that cause discomfort into advantages.

To understand the rationality of constant experiences, ask three questions in your mind:

1. What have I done? (Describe an event that worries you.)
2. What could I change? (Think about how you could act in this situation.)
3. How can I influence what happens tomorrow? (Find ways to correct the situation, if any).

The main emphasis should be on the last question. Samoyeds never ask this question to themselves, focusing on the first two. If it is not possible to correct the situation, the best way out is to “go with the flow.”

Another method of therapy is a daily ritual of writing down plans for the day. He will gradually eliminate the focus on the past. Cross off completed items at the end of the day. This way your train of thought will become more constructive and future-oriented.

Reasonable motivation for self-criticism is understood as an adequate assessment of what happened and a change in attitude towards the situation. For example, you did an imperfect task that was difficult for you. Don't dwell on what went wrong. Don't regret taking on this business. Focus on the positive: you have overcome yourself, you have gained experience. You can get rid of self-eating only by learning to focus on the positive.

Another method to suppress persistent feelings of regret is to vent your emotions. Creativity is the best way to do this. Find a medium of expression that is perfect for you personally.

Exercise to get rid of self-criticism

Psychologists will help clients get rid of self-remorse and dissatisfaction with themselves using the “Mistake!” exercise. The essence of the method is to learn to evaluate your actions rationally, without internal aggression.

If you make a mistake, follow these steps:

1. Stretch your arms to the sides, palms up, raise your shoulders and, tilting your head to the side, say: “Error!” Make it casual, childlike.
2. With your arms crossed, gently hug yourself and say, “I am good.”
3. Straighten your back, sharply throw your hand forward with your palm and abruptly say: “Work.”

The point of the first stage is to reduce the significance of what is happening. The mistake you made no longer seems like a disaster. You get rid of self-deception and adequately assess the scale of the situation.

By hugging yourself and saying an encouraging phrase (the wording may vary), you shift the flow of thoughts from negative to positive. You stop scolding yourself and feeling “bad.”

The third stage is the most important. It is not enough to be an optimist; you need to learn to solve a problem constructively. With the previous steps you have become positive; it’s time to correct the consequences of the mistake, if possible, or start a new business. Nothing distracts you from painful thoughts like work.

Choose a day to master the exercise that is not the most difficult, when you have time to distract yourself. It’s better to start making a “Mistake!” with gestures. Once you have mastered the principle, you can perform them mentally.

If you cannot regain self-confidence on your own, it would be advisable to contact a specialist. A psychologist will find out the cause of the problem and select an individual therapy program for you.

More emotions!

Remember a period in your life when you were as carefree and romantic as possible. Then you relied on something invisible, you had optimism, faith. Something fascinated you, gave you joy, hope.

Think about it - what is preventing you from receiving such emotions now? Many psychologists are convinced that openness, idealism and naivety are inherent in youth, and in maturity one should be restrained, pragmatic and “rejoice at the bird in one’s hands.”

We are given two hemispheres of the brain with different principles for reflecting reality. With total dominance of the left rational hemisphere, the individual becomes boring and overly reasonable.

Revitalize yourself by awakening your dreams. Release your emotions:

• engage in sports , physical labor, meditation , dancing;
• break some personal taboo, you probably forbade yourself something useful;
• listen to music, read poetry and prose;
• If you are completely stuck in rationality, drink alcohol, get drunk.

It is no coincidence that the noble class of all nations, along with the sciences, necessarily studied some form of art.

The habit of living out of our heads, coupled with suppressed sensitivity, dooms us to endless disputes with ourselves. Become lighter, try to live from the body, from energy. Balance your hemispheres. Remember that a psychologically healthy person (with rare exceptions):

• dreams;
• enjoys music;
• loves people and animals;
• quickly gets rid of bad memories;
• lives in the present;
• simple and kind in communication.

Why do we hurt ourselves by postponing life until later ? How to stop doing this and learn to enjoy the here and now.

How childhood envy forms the habit of self-criticism

Both a person experiencing envy and someone who is envied can become a Samoyed. We are talking about “black” envy. It puts a person in a negative mood. An envious person waits for a more successful person to make a mistake. Most often, this cannot be expressed in person. Anger accumulates inside and turns into self-aggression.

The envious person is already angry with himself for not being successful enough, for not being able to do something as well as the object of envy. The process of autocannibalism, that is, eating oneself, begins. Envy fades into the background, developing into dissatisfaction with oneself.

The object of envy becomes a Samoyed due to fear of the “evil eye.” People are so afraid of being better than others that they do not take any significant actions. The justification is criticism of oneself. They are guided by this principle: it is easier to accuse yourself of incompetence and do nothing than to stand out from the crowd. Others, on the contrary, are afraid of doing something wrong and losing the authority of others.

Exercise “Three Questions”

Ask yourself them one by one, and place the answers one after the other, in columns.

1. What happened? Describe in detail the situation that happened to you.
2. What could be done in such circumstances? Use your imagination, think about what you could do at that moment. Draw a picture of your behavior, down to your gaze, gestures, feelings, etc.
3. What will I do next time? Try to improve the situation in a few sentences.

This exercise will give you the opportunity to look at the incident from the outside, as well as compare the scale of the “disaster” with your inner emotions. It may turn out that you are exaggerating, and the situation is not worth your worries. You will master the skill of looking for the positive in every unpleasant situation.

Diagnosis of a group of people prone to self-flagellation

Self-flagellation is a psychological symptom, therefore diagnosis is aimed at a thorough study of the clinical picture and life history (presence of mental trauma in childhood, features of personality development).

But there are areas of the brain that are more active in people with a tendency to develop neuroses and depression. This section is the amygdala. It belongs to the deep brain structures and is responsible for emotions.

Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) can identify changes in amygdala activity. But this method is not a guarantee of diagnosing self-criticism. The first place is the conversation with the patient.

There is no need to be afraid to admit self-criticism. Isolation and pride will lead to the development of depression, which can often only be gotten rid of with the help of antidepressants. Learn to concentrate only on positive thoughts, follow the rule of three questions and repeat the simple “Mistake!” exercise: if self-medication does not bear fruit, do not be afraid to consult a psychotherapist.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Learn from the professionals

Find helpers in achieving your goals. The ideal way to become more cheerful and confident is to find a professional who can support and coach you. He will help you achieve any goal and accidentally indicate success. It’s one thing to see achievements yourself, and another thing to have someone point them out to you. And if this is also an expert in your field, then self-esteem soars through the roof. What kind of self-flagellation can we talk about when you are praised by a professional whom you trust?

Have you started learning from an expert, but he scolds you? You made a mistake, no big deal. It's just not an expert. Look for someone else. Not everyone can support and teach at the same time. Look for just such a specialist.

Self-flagellation, self-criticism of the individual and self-criticism is blaming oneself for any failures that have occurred in life; religion condemns it, and psychology explains how best to get rid of it. Also, this is severely low self-esteem and uncertainty about one’s own success in life. These two words have different roots, however, in psychology their meaning is the same. The concept of self-flagellation has a religious origin: once upon a time, some believers beat themselves with a whip for committing a sin. Psychology explains exactly how to stop self-flagellation for any person prone to this action. A synonym for these two words (self-flagellation and self-criticism) is indeed self-criticism. This is a psychological concept. In the modern world, a person who intensively engages in it simply creates the impression of being overly demanding of himself (to outsiders). But this is just someone else’s view, but in reality everything is much more serious. Some kind of condemnation of one’s actions is typical for everyone, but there are people who are overly self-critical. They constantly reproach themselves for their failures and try to please everyone. When nothing good comes of it, they blame themselves. In general - a vicious circle.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation

What does it mean to be self-critical of yourself? This is when a person is not inclined to brag about his successes, and at the slightest mistake he shifts all the blame onto his own personality. It will be quite difficult for such a person in society, because the results are often related to the work of the entire team, and not one person. Many people are interested in the answer to the question:

Self-criticism, self-criticism of personality and self-flagellation: is it good or bad?

People approve of this trait; they tend to consider it the best incentive to success and even a component in raising children. All because they don't know about her bad qualities. It’s one thing when a self-critical person sees his shortcomings, laughs at them, tries to correct them, but doesn’t get too hung up on them, and another thing is when, due to some action or his own shortcoming, a person cannot sleep at night, loses his appetite, and is in a bad mood all the time and even thinks about suicide. You need to engage in self-criticism in moderation. If its manifestations haunt you always and everywhere, you urgently need to fight it. Absolutely all people experience failures with varying frequency and this is normal. But some people don't think so. The psychology of self-criticism is such that thoughts about one’s unfulfillment and worthlessness torment a person precisely when he is left alone with himself. At these moments, with the help of negative thoughts, people undermine their mental and physical health. Often, the cause of some diseases is self-flagellation. After all, during bad thoughts there is an increased load on the brain and heart. This is where headaches, strokes, and myocardial infarction appear. The medical list of causes of heart disease often includes stress, and it is quite possible that this is self-flagellation. What’s bad is that a person who engages in self-criticism usually does not know how to stop doing it. In the worst case, he doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t notice anything except his thoughts, or he’s already used to living like this. For example, a mother’s child was hospitalized because she neglected to look after him. Naturally, the woman cannot come to her senses for a long time. Thoughts about her guilt and almost participation in this situation do not leave her. At such a moment, it is important to understand: if she reproaches herself, nothing will change. The time spent on self-criticism is better spent on treatment and caring for the child.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: reasons

The reasons for self-flagellation have different origins. These may be ordinary complexes about appearance, which later become an obsession. For example, a woman is dissatisfied with the size of her breasts and dreams of enlarging them. Any compliment to a busty friend, or even a comment on a photo, can not only ruin your mood for the whole day, but also become a reason for unpleasant thoughts. Many will object: this is not self-criticism, but an ordinary complex due to appearance plus jealousy. That's how it is, but not quite. The fact is that a person who engages in self-flagellation is inclined to blame even his external shortcomings for all failures.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: examples

1. So, for example, the girl described above, with small breasts, does not have a good career and salary. And so, left alone with herself, she begins to think: if I had size 4 breasts, then I would work as a model (actress, singer) or be successfully married, not count every penny, and not suffer from jealousy. Then, she blames herself for the fact that for some reason she did not find the money for surgery to enlarge this part of the body. 2. An equally common reason is envy. This point of view will also face the following objections: An envious person hates another, more successful person, but not himself. After all, it is extremely unpleasant for him to watch his neighbor buy a more prestigious and more expensive car every month, while he (or she) cannot even repair the old nine. But hatred of a neighbor does not always happen; for example, an overly self-critical person will perceive this as proof of his helplessness. He will think: “here is a smart neighbor, but I’m not very smart” and find in himself other reasons for his failures. 3. Loneliness also plays a significant role in the development of this habit. If a person does not have friends and family, and with them, things to do that can be distracted, then when left alone it is a sin not to think about why everything is so bad and who caused it. 4.The cause of self-flagellation does not necessarily have to be external and mental deficiencies. This could be an unpleasant fatal incident (the situation did not depend on anyone). So, for example, a beloved and properly raised son went to prison and now his mother does not sleep at night, wailing: “Where did I miss him?” -What was he missing? – What did I do wrong? “I once hit him for a mistake, maybe that’s why he became like this?” 5. The main reason for the development of self-criticism may be “good” friends or relatives. Among them there are those who like to constantly convince a person that he is stupid, ugly, unsuccessful in business, etc. Some constantly ridicule, others dissuade him from this or that idea and the person begins to believe in their words and really becomes what they say about him , while blaming himself for everything.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: symptoms

A person earns himself illnesses, constantly tries to punish himself for something and inexorably destroys his life. Some people say just that: “That’s what I deserve for being such and such!” “I’ll go hungry, because it’s my fault that I’m left without money.” “That’s what I need, so that I’m not so gullible.” If a person is overly self-critical, he, unnoticed by himself, stops enjoying life. For example: – This doesn’t suit me, because I have a big butt, small breasts, short neck, etc. - I won’t meet this girl because I’m not good enough for her. “I won’t let anyone read the book I wrote, because it’s terrible and will become a reason for ridicule.” – I won’t meet or get acquainted with anyone until I lose weight. Of course, such people do not notice how they engage in self-criticism and only learn about it from their relatives or on similar sites. So, the symptoms that a person is a Samoyed: • Complexes; • Self-hatred; • Comparing yourself with someone in terms of success; • Depression about how and why I am unhappy; • Dissatisfaction, and sometimes even hatred, with one’s way of life; • Loss of appetite; • Increased appetite; • Insomnia; • A constant desire to change everything, while not taking any action due to the opinion that nothing will work out; • I don’t like my appearance, I’m always looking for flaws; • My favorite thing to do is sit in the evenings over tea and remember all the failures in my life. It must also be said that the self-criticism of women and men is different. The former often suffer because of their appearance and are prone to hysterics about this, while the latter never like the situation in which they find themselves. So, for example, a man who lives with his mother thinks: “How unhappy I am: I can’t even buy an apartment for myself to move out.” A man who lives alone thinks that no one needs him, a married man thinks that he is henpecked.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: results

At first glance, there is nothing wrong with this character trait. People encourage her. After all, the lack of self-criticism is unpleasant, especially for others. Self-criticism is the same as pleasing everyone. Firstly: this is impossible, secondly, this trait has many side effects, namely: • Positive emotions leave the person, and he is in a state of depression, inclined to take out his anger on others (since he has already taken out more than enough on himself) . An overly self-critical person also becomes pessimistic, whining all the time, causing hostility among others. • Such people cannot be healthy because they do not sleep and lose their appetite, and this causes various health problems. • They try to impose this unpleasant quality on others unnoticed, for example: if it doesn’t work out for me, then it won’t work out for you either. • By focusing on failures, a person completely forgets about his abilities and stops developing and demonstrating them. • It is difficult for those who constantly blame themselves for something to solve problems that have arisen. • Focuses attention on his shortcomings and those around him really begin to notice them. • A person who has a strong sense of guilt easily becomes a victim of a manipulator, who, in turn, constantly uses him. To avoid all the above troubles, you need to end this bad habit once and for all.

Personal self-criticism, self-criticism and self-flagellation: how to get rid of

Before answering the question: how to stop self-flagellation and how not to engage in self-criticism, you need to understand the reason why this habit appeared in your life. If you have become her: a friend, husband, or relatives, you should seriously talk to them about this topic. When all attempts are in vain, it is advisable to limit communication with such people. There is no need to leave your criticizing relatives, but you can live separately or see each other less often. If your plan does not work out, you should look for another way to achieve success. And in order to get in the right frame of mind, it is advisable to avoid excuses and practical advice from friends. There are two options: either not tell anyone anything, or firmly insist on your position. After all, an adult can do whatever he wants within the framework of the Criminal Code. So, can someone really influence his decision-making with his excuses and criticism? How can you stop engaging in self-criticism if it is directly related to complexes and personalities that aggravate them (at work, strangers)? Very simple. You should learn to fight back in the same way, while looking unperturbed. For example: Having heard a joke about small breasts or a fat butt addressed to you, you can respond with no less sophisticated teasing. The reason may be: a gross speech or spelling mistake in words, the expression on the face of a wit, the topic of jokes, and even the appearance of the offender. It is important for Samoyeds to remember that there are no perfect people and everyone has flaws. When looking in the mirror, you need to look for your strengths, not your weaknesses, to love your body (face) and remember that not everyone likes modern ideals of beauty. You can conduct training in front of a mirror as in the old famous movie: “I am the most charming and attractive.” It is very important to look not only for the advantages of appearance. It is advisable to focus on the inner world, because it has long been proven that beauty is only a complement to intelligence, charm and a sense of humor. People who have all these qualities often feel great even without size 4 breasts, huge blue eyes, and legs from the ears. But a beautiful appearance, without a mind, is something funny and arousing pity. Communication with friends (not those who develop complexes) helps a lot. You should take on those things that you can do. For example: there is no need to pledge all property in favor of some business. It’s better to spend only part of it on courses or learning a new business; this will allow you to earn more in the future. Before making an important decision, you must consider all the pros and cons. If you fail, you should not give up. Here many will think: “It’s easy to say, but how to get rid of it if there is no one else to blame for the loss of property (for example)? Even from such a situation you should look for a way out; there is no time to reproach yourself. Friends, relatives, help from the state. Quite selfish advice, but often more than one person is involved in the actions committed, and therefore there will be nothing terrible if a share of the blame is fairly assigned to the accomplice. As for inaction or mistakes in fatal incidents and the resulting endless feeling of guilt, you need to treat what happened as a life lesson. Just sit down and ask yourself: - What was the need for what happened? – What mistakes did I make? – What is the use of all this? In general, the point is optimism. Everywhere you need to look not for negative, but for positive aspects, and then success will not be long in coming.