Electra complex: causes, manifestations, ways to combat it

• September 12, 2018
• Child psychology
• Lyudmila Frolova

In life, sometimes you can meet a girl who, at an early age, lost her father, and throughout the subsequent years involuntarily idealized him. A teenage girl also stands out for her style of behavior, for whom dreams of boys are more attractive than real relationships with them. It is also somewhat surprising that the daughter continues to protest against her mother, despite the fact that she has already matured and gone through adolescence.

Many girls and women for whom this style of behavior is the norm have an Electra complex. Surely not many people have heard of this. What is this complex? What are the causes of its occurrence and ways to eliminate it? The answers to these questions can be found in this article.

What kind of complex is this?

In psychology, there are two phenomena that have cross-cutting significance. These are the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. The first of these two concepts describes the sexual attraction that a son has towards his mother. At the same time, such a boy shows a jealous attitude towards his father. Most often, the child enters into competition with him. He considers his father an enemy and fights with him for his mother's love.

The concept of the Oedipus complex was first introduced by Sigmund Freud. He used it when writing his works on psychoanalysis. When choosing a name for such a mental state, the scientist was guided by an ancient Greek myth. This is a legend about the young man Oedipus, who was deprived of his family by evil fate in infancy. After the boy grew up, he, without knowing it, ended up in the house where his parents lived. The young man fell in love with his mother and decided to marry her. To do this, he killed his father.

The Electra complex in psychology is the female version of the Oedipus complex. The name of this term was first given in 1913 by Carl Jung, a student of Sigmund Freud. Taking into account the plot of a similar myth, he began to use this term when describing the state of a girl’s love for her own father, who at the same time hated her mother. It is worth noting that Freud never recognized the name “Electra complex”. When describing such a phenomenon, he always used the term “female Oedipus complex.”

Summary of the Theban myth of Oedipus

In Ancient Greece, the myth of King Oedipus was very popular.
And still the sad story does not leave people indifferent. Oedipus, not realizing what he was doing, killed his own father. Then he married his mother, with whom he lived for many years and had children. When the gods revealed the secret to them, Jocasta committed suicide. The soul of Oedipus was plunged by the Erinyes, the goddesses of vengeance, into severe torment, which is why he gouged out his eyes. Articles on the topic

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The myth was loved by the Attic tragedians, who developed and supplemented it. They fully demonstrated to the people thoughts about the meaning of fate in a person’s life and the fragility of his hopes and aspirations.

Legend of Electra

This legend has various interpretations. But above all, the myth of Electra is a family tragedy. What is the essence of the conflict described by the legend? The mother of Orestes and Electra, together with Aegisthus, who was her lover, killed her husband Agamemnon. Years later, the children grew up and decided to avenge their father. Orestes, led by Electra, killed Aegisthus and his mother.

This story tells about a girl who was acutely worried about the loss of her father. Until the age of six, Electra was a “daddy’s girl.” She lived in the palace with her father, a powerful king. For ten years Agamemnon was at the Trojan War. During this period, the girl began to idealize her father. His death at the hands of his wife forced Electra to forever fix the image of a courageous and strong man she created, which subsequently could not be corrected in any way.

As we can see, the myth does not at all indicate the little princess’s sexual attraction to her father. However, it beautifully depicts daughterly love. The girl loves her dad and hates her mother, who committed murder.

Rules for getting out of the victim role

According to the components of the victim role, the following rules for exiting it can be distinguished:

1. Express all emotions, including negative ones, but do it in a socially acceptable way.
2. State your needs, desires, interests, opinions.
3. Accept and love yourself.
4. Set personal boundaries and learn to protect them (without violence and aggression).
5. Never tolerate anything.
6. Get rid of phobias, learn to live alone with yourself.
7. Gain physical, psychological, material, social independence.

Freud's opinion

The great scientist believed that the Electra and Oedipus complexes are the pillars of psychoanalysis. In his opinion, most neurotic reactions in a person are formed in connection with an unconscious attraction to the parent who is of the opposite sex. The mental life that will be characteristic of the individual in the future directly depends on the resolution or unsuccessful closure of such complexes. In addition, such phenomena can be considered the first manifestations of sexuality in children. In his works, Freud also pointed out that the described complexes are directly related to religiosity, public relations and morality of an adult person. According to the scientist, Electra syndrome and the Oedipus complex are the main causes of neurotic diseases.

It is interesting that when developing the theory, the scientist closely observed his inner world. At the same time, he discovered that he also had a craving for his mother.

Normal, not pathological

Do not forget that the Oedipus complex is a normal stage of personality development. After all, the development task for a girl or boy is to become a man/woman. And, oddly enough, children are already working on solving this problem on an unconscious level by the age of three. To gain autonomy by separating from the mother, the child needs to become aware of his belonging to a specific gender with which he will begin to identify. In this sense, the phase of the Oedipus complex is the first step towards the formation of full-fledged sexuality. This is the foundation on which your child’s relationships with the opposite sex will be built in the future.

Therefore, if a child is too gentle with you, do not express violent indignation and do not try to ridicule him. Explain in a calm tone: “I cannot marry you because you are my son. I'm married to your father." Let him understand that the stage of immaturity is temporary, that one day this little boy will become as strong and courageous as dad, and the little girl will gain the same femininity as her mother, and most importantly, great love and a happy family life awaits them ahead. It is better to explain this using the example of fairy-tale characters: princes and princesses, because for a child these are projections of images of parents, objects of love, and to a greater extent ideal, platonic, faith in which is necessary for the emergence of “adult” relationships with the opposite sex.

Reasons and prerequisites for development

The Electra complex is not always formed in female psychology. In order for it to form, certain reasons must be present. However, judging by the data of researchers, even if they occur, it is not at all necessary that the girl’s attraction to her father will develop.

What are the prerequisites for the emergence of the Electra complex? In psychology, the following reasons for this phenomenon are identified:

1. The father dreamed of a son, but a daughter was born. Of course, in this case the man experiences disappointment, which he seeks to compensate by spending all his free time with the girl. In this way he binds the child to himself and builds a strong relationship with the baby. Gradually, the daughter gets used to spending time with her father and becomes increasingly weaned from spending leisure time with her mother.
2. Inversion of family roles. Sometimes the mother has a dominant position. In the family, she becomes the main breadwinner. At the same time, the father has to be the stronghold of the house. In such a situation, the father looks dependent and weak against the background of the courageous mother. At the same time, the daughter assumes the function of a “wife,” giving her father care and attention.
3. Quarrels between mother and daughter. After a conflict situation, the girl begins to seek consolation from her father.
4. Mom's busy life. This factor also leads to the daughter spending more time with her father.

Many parents do not even suspect the existence of such a thing as the Electra complex. Nevertheless, a similar syndrome sometimes develops in a child. At the same time, parents, due to ignorance of psychology, simply do not understand this. Sometimes they themselves provoke the development of the Electra complex.

For example, this happens when a father is touched by his daughter’s tender feelings that she shows towards him. Of course, this is considered the norm in psychology. After all, almost all girls at a certain stage of their development excessively show their feelings for loved ones. And it will depend on the parents whether their daughter’s Electra syndrome will go away or develop further. In this situation, the father needs to convey to the baby that he considers her only a girl. The lady of his heart is his mother. Of course, my daughter will suffer a little psychological trauma. Nevertheless, she will move on to the next stage of her development without the Electra complex.

Manifestation in adulthood

The study of myths is a pressing problem in female psychology. The Electra complex in female psychology can become a strong obstacle to creating normal relationships.

Normally, the Electra complex disappears in girls at the end of adolescence. A young girl, having overcome her dependence on the myth of the ideal man, pays attention to the guys around her and builds her first serious relationship. But if the myths remain in the girl’s mind, she, unaware of it, continues to look for a man who can meet unrealistic requirements.

Perpetuating myths prevents an adult woman from creating relationships. The Electra complex provokes:

1. Inadequate perception of surrounding men. Holding an ideal image in her subconscious, a woman compares men with it. But a real person cannot reach the given ideal level, so a woman refuses relationships with men who, in her opinion, are unworthy.
2. Development of incorrect perception of the role of a man in a relationship. When dreaming of an ideal, a woman imagines not only her appearance, but also her behavior, preferences, interests and role in relationships. She expects a man to play according to a given scenario and is inevitably disappointed.
3. Formation of an inadequate attitude towards one’s social role. Feeling dissatisfied due to the inability to create a relationship, the woman transfers her dissatisfaction with her mother onto herself and the women around her. A negative perception of the female image can cause a complete rejection of all attributes of femininity in the woman herself. This is expressed in solidarity with men, an attempt to realize oneself through a male social role. A woman changes her external image, behavior, and life goals, trying to correspond to the chosen role model. But she faces rejection from men - they do not see such a woman as an object of romantic affection.

Getting rid of the Electra complex in adulthood is a complex process that requires long-term psychotherapy.

Manifestation in children

Symptoms of the Electra complex in girls become noticeable from the age of 3. In this case, parents can understand the presence of the syndrome by the following signs:

1. The daughter prefers the father. As a rule, babies are physically dependent on their mother, who cares for them, and therefore are very attached to her. However, a child with a complex spends most of his time with his father.
2. The daughter constantly criticizes her mother. This expresses a sign of rivalry. Little girls who have an Electra complex see their mother as a competitor. That is why they often criticize her, showing aggression.
3. After a long absence of her parents, the daughter is more happy about the appearance of her father rather than her mother.
4. The girl is characterized by proactive and very active behavior. At the same time, she wants to learn a lot from her father. For example, she asks him to take her fishing with him, go for a walk, etc.
5. Signs of dissatisfaction. A baby with an Electra complex may become indignant when she sees mom and dad kissing, hugging, or holding hands.

Exercises

A technique that helps you say goodbye to your father:

1. Find a comfortable position and relax.
2. Imagine dad.
3. Thank him for all the good things, try to remember real, specific situations.
4. Give yourself permission to live freely and say goodbye to your father.

Technique for reconciliation with mother:

1. Remember the conflict situation between mother and father, in which you see the mother as to blame. Try to find a positive explanation for her behavior.
2. Make a list of the things you and your mother have in common. Every person has something of both parents.
3. Learn to communicate with your mother in real life from the “Adult – Adult” position.
4. Mentally or in real communication, thank your mother and forgive her.

Creating an Ideal

What can trigger the Electra complex? The classic option in this case is the divorce of the parents. As a rule, after this the child remains with the mother. The father leaves them and creates a new family.

It's not easy for a single woman. In an incomplete family, as a rule, financial difficulties arise. This fact is the cause of the mother’s unstable emotional state. She often takes her irritation out on her daughter. This position leads to a deterioration in the relationship between the girl and mother. The daughter becomes distant and aggressive. At the same time, the child idealizes his father. After all, the girl sometimes meets with him, receiving attention and gifts. Such dates firmly cement in the mind a new model of relationships, in which the child begins to believe that mom is bad and dad is good.

Crisis age

However, Freud paid special attention to the crisis that occurs between 3 and 6 years of age, when the child becomes aware of his gender (sex) identity. At this age, interest in the genitals first awakens and it turns out that they can be a source of pleasure. At the same time, an attraction to the parent of the opposite sex appears. At this moment, a dichotomy (split) appears: parents, on the one hand, remain a source of satisfaction of needs (not only everyday ones, as was before, but also existential ones - for attention and love), and on the other hand, they become rivals.

Electra complex in girls

According to Freud's theory, a mother serves as her daughter's first sexual image. As girls approach three years of age, they begin to realize that they do not have a penis. Such a discovery completely changes the psychological characteristics of the baby. She begins to envy men who have such “dignity”. Over the years, such envy, as well as the desire to somehow compensate for the absence of this organ, is the reason for the generation of love for the father, as well as the desire to become pregnant from him, to give birth to a son. Such attraction leads to hostility towards the mother.

The peak in the development of the Electra complex is 4-5 years of age. Then this phenomenon begins to fade away and disappears completely for a while. Nevertheless, during the period of formation of secondary sexual characteristics, attachment to one’s father grows. The attraction to him appears and becomes active again.

How to get rid of the victim role

To get rid of the victim role, it is important to analyze the condition into components and fight each of them:

• numerous phobias (fear of loneliness, rejection, condemnation);
• lack of understanding of one’s emotions, desires and needs, inability to express them;
• a ban on aggression (negativity accumulates and destroys from within);
• non-acceptance of oneself and dislike for oneself;
• blurred personal boundaries or their complete absence.

Electra complex in girls

After an adult girl reaches her sexual maturity and has her first sexual experience, she will finally form images of the relationship that takes place between a woman and a man. But it often happens that girls with an Electra complex present everything in a distorted form. They usually see themselves in the role of protector and provider. In other words, they try on male roles. Often their behavior is similar to that typical of guys.

Such girls are strong and independent. They are distinguished by a high level of emancipation. In all respects relating to family life or work responsibilities, Electras prefer to achieve equality. Such girls, as a rule, are the initiators in the development of personal relationships with men. They also have an Electra complex when choosing a profession. After finishing school, these girls prefer to work where there is danger and risk.

“Electras” tend to communicate mainly with men. They have few girlfriends, but there are countless friends among the boys. Girls who are attached to their father get married late. As a rule, they walk down the aisle at the age of 30 or older. Most often they choose mature men as life partners. And this applies not only to age, but also to the social status of the chosen one.

Nancy Cater's theory

According to N. Carter, a girl suffering from an unhealthy attachment to her father is deprived of the opportunity to achieve moral maturity. Already an adult woman, at heart she remains a little girl, experiencing a complex of contradictory emotions: admiration for her father’s figure is closely related to anger and disappointment.

The woman continues to experience the bitterness of loss, accepting the role of the victim. Even in families with a tyrant father, love overshadows resentment and disappointment for the daughter. She transfers her resentment to her mother, considering her to be to blame for her father’s departure. Faced with the impossibility of development, a woman transfers the active qualities of her personality to men. She sees herself as a princess who must be saved by a prince.

Manifestation of the complex in women

In adulthood, Electra girls choose a person similar to their father as a life partner. Most often, they pay attention to uncontrollable and independent men, because a woman is trying to find a real protector for herself, who would solve all her problems and accept her like a little girl, embracing her in his arms.

Often, adult Electras, as a result of their searches, find men who are older than them and are already connected by family ties. And this has its own explanation. After all, their father was also older and had a wife. If Electra comes across this option, she will begin her hunt. Having won the man from his wife, she will be happy with the victory. However, over time, serious interpersonal problems will begin to arise with her chosen one.

Oedipus and Electra: old complexes in a new world

Oedipus and Electra: old complexes in the new world
Thanks to Sigmund Freud, the Oedipus and Electra complexes became symbols of certain stages of sexual development. But life makes its own adjustments.

psychology of age-related crises

Sigmund Freud (1856–1939), an Austrian psychiatrist, created the theory that human behavior is governed by natural instincts and repressed desires. He considered the energy of sexual desires (“libido”) as the driving force in the formation of personality.

The danger of such a phenomenon

“Electra”, due to an unresolved and constantly reinforced syndrome, develops dependent behavior over time. The girl will sooner or later have to part with her parents' nest. However, due to her attachment to her dad, the daughter may become depressed. In adulthood, women are in search of a father figure, which sometimes lasts a lifetime and ends in failure.

The danger of the Electra complex is that girls begin to copy their father’s habits. They smoke or drink alcohol. In addition, a person with such a complex is capable of inheriting the typical traits of representatives of the stronger half of humanity.

Femininity

Every person has feminine and masculine energy, it is important to maintain balance, flexibility and plasticity. For example, it is worth taking from men purposefulness, courage, determination, organization, and restraint. However, at the same time, it is important to remain emotionally alive, gentle, compliant, and patient. The essence of plasticity is that a person decides for himself when to show masculine qualities and when to show feminine ones. For example, at work a girl may well be a strict boss, but in relationships with a man and children she becomes soft, gentle, and affectionate.

Elimination of the syndrome

How to deal with the Electra complex? Parents who realize what is happening to their daughter should talk to her. Close people are obliged to help their child distribute family roles and understand their own feelings.

How can a girl outgrow her Electra complex? If parents talk to their child gently, lovingly and supportively, the problem will be resolved successfully.

Experts note that the Electra complex is a condition on the border between pathology and normality. That is why adults will need the help of a psychotherapist to get rid of this syndrome.

Nevertheless, there are recommendations that temporarily alleviate the state of mind of “Electr”. They consist of the following:

1. In accepting your attraction. The girl is advised not to hide this condition from herself.
2. In the understanding that, based on the culture and historical traditions of human society, a daughter cannot be her father’s mistress. Incest is taboo.
3. In accepting the father as an ordinary person. Of course, he was once powerful and all-knowing. Today, dad is one of the beloved family members with his own life experience.
4. In reaching a new level of relationship with the mother. It is important for a daughter to understand that she has more in common with her mother than with her father.

Parents who discover signs of developing the Electra complex in their daughter should begin to rid her of this syndrome already in childhood. It is important that the child receives enough attention from both the father and the mother. The Electra complex cannot be considered a death sentence. Unconscious attraction to the father is not considered a mental disorder. In this regard, such a child does not need to be taken to a psychiatrist. He will not need a course of medication either. The main task of parents is to identify the complex at an early stage of its development, create the necessary conditions for its elimination and, if necessary, use the help of a psychoanalyst.

Dangerous effects of Electra syndrome

At an early age, the manifestation of Electra syndrome is perceived as normal. Parents do not notice problems in their daughter’s jealousy and negativism, aggravating the situation. As an adult, a woman becomes so accustomed to living in a world of ideal illusions that real men have no chance of having a relationship with her.

Electra syndrome is hereditary. Having learned a destructive pattern of behavior from her mother, a woman carries negativism throughout her life. Even if she manages to create her own family, she remains deeply unhappy in her marriage, experiencing dissatisfaction and depression. If a daughter is born into a family, she will inherit from her mother a negativist model of relationships with men.

Famous people with Asperger's syndrome

Asperger's syndrome (sometimes called a form of high-functioning autism) is a lifelong personality dysfunction that reflects an unusual way of perceiving the world and relating to people, and a unique way of processing information. From the memories of loved ones it is known that A. Mozart, A. Einstein, I. Newton, A. Lincoln, L. Beethoven, C. Darwin had character quirks that could now be attributed to signs of Asperger's syndrome. Many gifted people suffering from Asperger's syndrome have become famous figures in science, art, sports and have made enormous contributions to the development of society. Steven Spielberg became an excellent film director, Bobby Fischer became a world chess champion, Michael Phelps became a famous athlete, Dan Aykroyd became a famous actor, Glenn Gould became a virtuoso pianist of his time, Vernon Smith became a Nobel laureate in economics. Bill Gates is also included in this galaxy. The list of famous people with Asperger's syndrome is not complete. Representatives of various professions have reached unattainable heights thanks to the fact that they have adapted to life in society, learned to use their mental characteristics to achieve a goal and manage them.

Neuropsychologist Alexandrova O.A.

Semantic-pragmatic speech impairment in Asperger's syndrome

The most important means of communication for a person is conscious speech, the highest level of which – semantics – is a continuation of developing thinking. At this level, the human brain represents the images and concepts around it in the form of speech structures, establishing relationships between objects and the words that describe them. Semantic-pragmatic language disorder, which often accompanies Asperger's syndrome in childhood, can be described as "lack of relationships." Verbal communication in this case is not effective, since the child’s fluent speech is characterized by a violation of understanding, does not relate to the interlocutor and does not have a communicative function. The child talks to himself, speaks about himself in the third person, and if he does not understand the meaning of the interlocutor’s words, he uses echolalia (repetition of another person’s speech structures).