What does a man's gaze tell you?

What does the duration of eye contact indicate?

The duration of eye contact also matters and indicates the different mood of a man. No less important is the reaction that follows after the gazes of a man and a woman meet and intersect:

If a man looks into the eyes without looking away, he experiences positive emotions, especially if the attention lasts at least eight seconds. If a man begins to quickly look away after his eyes have crossed, you should pay attention to how he does this. If a person looks down, this indicates his sympathy

Putting aside, most likely, the lady was not interested in him; A look and a half. It is very difficult to notice, especially for girls who are not discerning. Such a gaze lingers on a person, a little more than is necessary during normal communication (about two seconds). The male body exhibits similar signals in relation to things or people that interest them. This reaction takes place on an unconscious level, and the stronger sex is not able to control or hide it. Therefore, if a married guy lingers his gaze on a girl like that, this is a reason to think; The double glance is a conscious gesture used to attract a woman's attention. If a girl increasingly catches such long eye contacts on herself (about four seconds), she should pay attention to this guy; The guy averts his eyes or consciously tries to avoid direct contact. A man and a woman can even be alone. Such a reaction indicates refusal. He is not interested in the interlocutor. The look of a man in love. When the object of his sympathy is in front of him, he is ready to watch as much as he can, he simply cannot tear himself away. This reaction is also accompanied by a warm smile, facial wrinkles and much more. Passion or madness. Constant close attention, obsessive eye contact are signs that a man is crazy about a woman. He may even be silent about his feelings, but he will constantly look with his eyes for the object of his passion. A careful look after a joke - the guy watches the girl’s reaction. As you know, female psychology is designed in such a way that if she likes a man, she will laugh at even his stupidest joke. Therefore, close attention to the girl’s reaction to the joke also indicates his interest.

The look of a man in love

Types of nonverbal communication

Kinesthetics

Human worldview through body movements

Poses

For the most part, people tend to take everything they hear at face value. Unfortunately, sometimes there is no need to be overly vigilant. Let's say a person comes for an interview and talks about what a responsible and competent employee he is. He is looking for work only because he has outgrown his previous place.

And everything seems to sound smooth and beautiful. However, the arms and legs are crossed, the gaze is directed to the side. This is a good reason for a potential employer to dig deeper and contact the company where the candidate worked.

Often this behavior indicates the insecurity of a person who has something to hide.

During business negotiations or a friendly conversation, you should pay attention to the posture taken by the interlocutor. They can often be more expressive than other nonverbal cues. By taking a closer look at your interlocutor, you can learn to read his true motives and intentions.

Overhang, placement of legs : cross-legged, looking from top to bottom indicates a desire to dominate, to turn the outcome of the conversation in one’s favor.

Fingering, looking down, clenched knees signal dependence.

Clenched fists placed on the hips or sides of the hand, a raised chin warn of disagreement, confrontation, and readiness for an argument.

Detachment, clasped fingers, crossed arms on the chest make it clear that the opponent is closed, does not perceive information, and is experiencing discomfort.

Relaxation , the torso is directed towards the interlocutor, open palms show openness, readiness to conduct a dialogue, discuss, delve into the details of the conversation.

Gestures

Statistics and psychologists say that about 65% of information a person perceives not by hearing, but through seen gestures. The ability to read non-verbal gestures helps to recognize the most secret intentions of the interlocutor.

At the decisive moment, when a person is ready to make a decision, he usually strokes his chin. Anxiety is expressed in constant fingering of hair, throwing it away.

Demonstratively picking up lint from clothing signals disapproval.

The emergence of interest will be indicated by tilting the head.

Facial expressions

Facial expression refers to facial expression. Facial signals are considered universal, as they are capable of conveying the entire spectrum of human emotions.

Facial expressions quite transparently demonstrate the subject’s attitude towards a particular situation or opponent.

Wide-open eyes, raised eyebrows , and a slightly open mouth demonstrate sincere surprise.

Lips stretched in a wide smile, raised eyebrows, sparkling eyes, raised upward corners of the lips, the absence of tension on the face speaks of joy.

Rapid breathing, a flushed face, pulsating veins on the temples, tensely compressed lips, a distorted tense face warns of an aggressive mood, an angry mood.

We are not far removed from our tailed ancestors, just as in the wild the display of teeth, similar to a grin, is a symbol of threat.

A wrinkle between the eyebrows and their frown signals doubt and distrust.

The business environment, etiquette and upbringing make it necessary to keep some facial reactions under control. It is believed that the more intellectually developed an individual is, the easier it is for him to restrain facial signals.

Gait

A person’s gait, that is, the style of his movement, also conveys nonverbal signs to others.

It is believed that with a light, flying gait in an elevated, inspired mood.

A sluggish, depressed gait of a person with his head down reveals his frustration and suffering.

in a man who walks widely .

A heavy, ponderous gait will be characteristic of a person in a rage or anger.

Sight

"Eyes are the mirror of the soul". It is the gaze that is most difficult to adjust. Our pupils contract and dilate whether we want it or not. They react most quickly to internal experiences and change depending on the emotions they experience.

It has been proven that the more pleasant the interlocutor is to us, the more interesting the conversation, the more the pupil dilates.

Exactly the opposite happens when there is a situation that negatively affects mood. That is, the pupils constrict when a person is upset or angry. Nonverbal eye contact has a number of features and also shows the attitude and intentions of the interlocutor.

For example, looking from top to bottom . If this is not due to height and position, then such a look may indicate the arrogance of the opponent, his desire for superiority.

A sidelong glance from above also speaks of contempt or a condescending attitude. Below - about the desire to please. A direct, open gaze indicates interest, sympathy, and respect.

A narrowed gaze can express physical discomfort associated with the situation or poor, painful health. This may also be a consequence of a distrustful, wary attitude.

Often, it is by the look, its warmth or coldness, that we determine the mood of the interlocutor. “Burning” eyes speak of joy, love, “glass” ones of indifference.

Prosody and extralinguistics

Prosody is a set of non-verbal means of communication such as intonation, volume, and timbre of the voice. Extralinguistics includes speech pauses, sighs, laughter and crying, and coughing.

Intonation

The same phrase can be said in different intonations and thereby be given exactly the opposite meaning. For example, the phrase: I sympathize with you. Calm intonation and soft voice indicate the sincerity of this statement. About the desire to support.

While the same phrase, pronounced in a lower voice, with a sharp intonation, will mean a threat.

Volume

The volume of the voice, as a rule, characterizes the emotional state of the speaker. An extremely loud, raised, and harsh voice indicates aggression. A high, loud voice speaks of a hysterical, unbalanced state.

A calm, even voice puts the interlocutor at ease. Quiet, insinuating hints that the opponent is sharing something very personal, intimate.

Timbre

The timbre of the voice gives an emotional color to what is said. The high timbre of the speaker's voice speaks of a strong-willed nature, self-confidence or emotional uplift.

A low timbre indicates calmness and balance. A chesty timbre is characteristic of an emotional outburst or excitement.

Pause

Deliberately inserting a pause allows you to give time to comprehend what has been said. Gives more weight and meaning to words. Places accents. Conveys emotions.

Sigh

A heavy sigh usually means hopelessness, sadness, sadness or fatigue.

Laughter

Laughter can set the mood of your interlocutors. Good-natured, sincere, cheerful laughter can remove awkwardness and relieve tension.

Sarcastic, evil laughter can ruin your mood and make you angry. To be perceived as an insult or ridicule.

Cry

When emotions (both positive and negative) are so strong that they are overwhelming and uncontrollable, a person begins to cry. Crying is one of the most sincere nonverbal signals.

Cough

Nervous coughing can mean a person is dissatisfied or disagrees.

Takeshika

Nonverbal communication based on tangible signals is called takeshika. In other words, this is communication through touch (tactile). Basically, tactile communication is applicable between fairly close people. For example, in the family circle, with friends. Takeshiki includes shaking hands, kissing, patting, and hugging.

Handshakes

Ancient Rome is considered to be the birthplace of handshakes. The meaning of the gesture was to check the arriving guest. Is he armed? To do this, they felt his right hand. Over time, the motives changed, and the gesture began to symbolize male friendship and an element of business communication.

Handshakes can mean equality, dominance (strong, hand on top) and submission (hand on bottom, limp) of opponents.

Embrace

Show emotional intimacy. The further and more emotional the process occurs, the stronger and stronger the spiritual relationship between the partners.

Patting

A method of nonverbal communication that is acceptable between close and socially equal people. Between loved ones can mean a show of sympathy, support or approval.

Patting during a hug symbolizes the formality of the gesture and the desire to distance. They are an indicator of the partner's disinterest.

Kiss

They symbolize a very close emotional relationship, more intimate than a hug. In most countries, kissing (especially on the lips) between lovers or two girlfriends is considered acceptable (fashion trends). However, a kiss between two men will certainly be perceived as a hint of homosexuality. And between relatives it’s like incest. Which will entail public condemnation. At the same time, in the Middle East this form of communication is considered the norm.

Nowadays, a kiss more symbolizes something intimate and is perceived as an element of flirtation. Although initially it was a symbol of respect and friendship.

But the traditional kiss after the dance at the ball changed everything. Over time, it began to be perceived as courtship.

Proxemics

A branch of psychology that studies the spatial distance between interlocutors.

Distance

In order not to create discomfort for your interlocutor and to feel appropriate yourself, you must adhere to generally accepted rules. These rules include maintaining distance.

An intimate, personal, social and public distance has been established. A distance from 0 to 45 cm is considered intimate. It is acceptable when the closest ones interact. The normal distance is 45-120 cm. Designed for communication with mutual friends.

From 1.2 m to 3.6 m - social zone. A zone for communication between unfamiliar people who need to resolve certain issues.

A range of more than 3.6 m is a public area. As a rule, this situation can be observed at lectures, public performances, and concerts.

Violation of space can cause unpredictable reactions.

For example, joy. In case the idol paid attention to his fan and approached. Or apprehension if the clown runs out of the arena towards the viewer and pulls him along with him. What if he throws water on him?!

Learning to look into the eyes

How to look into the eyes so that the interlocutor does not have the feeling that we are piercing him with our gaze? How not to seem arrogant, unceremonious and not run into the question: “What are you staring at?”

When we talk about a “strong” look, we mean that it is a direct, open, energetic and friendly look, and not at all aggressive and domineering. Therefore, in order to “get into character”, it is worth imagining that our interlocutor is now the most important person for us. You can mentally straighten his hair, imagine him in different clothes, stroke his shoulder or arm. Thanks to this technique, our gaze will acquire benevolence and warmth.

It is worth developing empathy in yourself - the ability to feel the state of your interlocutor. Let’s “try on” his gestures, facial expressions, and gaze. This will make it possible to feel on the same wavelength with him, will create a feeling of unity, and then it will be easy for us to look him straight in the eyes.

You can also come across this advice: look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose or at the place where the so-called “third eye” is located. This is wrong, some psychologists say. By focusing only on these points, we lose sight of the entire face. To prevent this from happening, our gaze must be wide and unfocused. For example, the same experienced driver, carefully watching the road, sees it as a whole, and does not concentrate on individual elements.

Visual acuity exercises

It is also recommended to train your eyes with the help of exercises, which also train your visual acuity.

Let's draw a black dot on a white piece of paper and attach it to the wall. The point should be at eye level. Let's sit one and a half meters from the wall and look at the point. We begin to make circular movements with our heads, without taking our eyes off the black dot. We gradually increase the rotation speed and radius of the circle. Exercise time: start with one and gradually increase to ten minutes.
We observe the black dot for a minute, and then move our eyes up and down, left and right. We draw circles, zigzags and other geometric shapes with our eyes. This exercise develops and strengthens the eye muscles. Exercise time: 1–10 minutes.
We look at the black dot and turn our head (only the head, not the body) first to the right, then to the left, without taking our eyes off the point. Do it for 1–10 minutes.

Let's watch without blinking

Over the course of a month, we perform these exercises that train the eye muscles, and move on to exercises that will teach us to look for a long time without blinking.

We concentrate our gaze on the same black dot. We look at her without blinking for 1–10 minutes.
We look closely at the same point, and then direct our gaze to some point on the ceiling. After 5 minutes, we turn our gaze down to the same point on the floor and focus on it for the next 5 minutes. We only shift our gaze, we don’t tilt our heads.

Exercises for the Penetrating Eye

And the next 3 exercises develop a strong, discerning eye.

We sit in front of the mirror, mentally draw a dot on the bridge of our nose and look at it, trying not to blink. We start with one minute and gradually increase the exercise time to 15. We can practice a firm, unblinking gaze, looking into the eyes of a stranger when we are, for example, in transport, and he is standing at a bus stop. This option is suitable for those who are not embarrassed by awkward situations.
We carefully examine our left pupil in the mirror for 5 minutes, then our right pupil for the same amount of time. We look carefully, as if we want to see our brain through the pupil.
We train in front of the mirror to express different emotions with our gaze (not facial expressions): friendly disposition, threat, confidence, calmness, joy, etc.

Timoshenko Elena, BBF.RU

Secrets that our pupils reveal about us

Eyes can easily reveal a person's true intentions and feelings . Anyone who looks carefully into the eyes can learn a lot about the interlocutor. For example, whether the other person finds him attractive or not, whether he is thinking about something important or is simply not interested in the conversation... Almost always the discussion is about whether the pupils are dilated, and whether the eyelids are raised or not. Pupil dilation is a sign of sympathy , as ethologist Irenius Eibl-Eibslfeldt was able to prove.

Wide-open eyes radiate calm and spread a peaceful atmosphere not only when surrounded by loved ones, but also when trying to flirt. And if you use this technique purposefully, then you can, for example, when reading a report, attract the attention of listeners and arouse their interest. Many TV presenters use this all the time.

Let's look at 9 things that, according to research, you can understand about a person from his pupils:

I'm interested in you

The basis of any courses on attracting a partner: look into my eyes and I will accurately determine how interested you are in me. In fact, since 1977, according to research by Irving Maltzman, it has been known that our pupils dilate when what is said to us is interesting . During the experiment, subjects were asked to read texts of various orientations: erotic, cruel and neutral. When reading each text, the pupils dilated, but after a short period of time they contracted again, with the exception of reading text of an erotic nature.

Are you flirting with me

This action of looking is closely related to the previous point and is its continuation. Interest turns into something more.

I don't like you

If the pupils narrow, then this is a sure sign that you are uninteresting and, perhaps, even unpleasant to your interlocutor . Eckhard Hesse (“Pupillometry”) conducted the following experiment in 1972: The subjects were shown pictures of injured children. At first, the pupils of the experiment participants dilated significantly under the influence of shock from what they saw, then they narrowed greatly, since the images were unpleasant and repulsive to them.

I need to think seriously

Ask a person how much is two and two, and you will not see much change in his eyes. But if you ask him to explain the theory of probability to you, his pupils will noticeably dilate. According to research by Eckhard Hesse and James Polt (1964), the more active our brains are, the more our pupils dilate .

My brain is completely overloaded

Perhaps this will happen when asking about the theory of relativity, but still, if you ask your interlocutor an unsolvable puzzle, his brain may temporarily reduce its activity due to overload. In this case, the pupils narrow at lightning speed. When the brain is 125% engaged, the pupils become smaller .

Brain damaged

This happens as a result of accidents. This is why doctors first check the reaction of the pupils to light. During normal brain function, both pupils are the same size, rounded, and respond quickly to light . If the brain is damaged, then one of the listed parameters will deviate from the norm.

I'm more liberal than conservative

It is clear that political views cannot be determined based solely on the study of views. Most likely, the point here is indirect sympathy and the above-mentioned reactions of the pupils to various situations. For example, in 1972, during an experiment, Horace Barlow showed subjects photographs of liberal and conservative politicians. Interestingly, the pupils of liberal-minded participants in the experiment dilated every time they saw liberal politicians and shrank when they saw conservatives . In the case of conservative participants, the opposite was true.

Something hurts me

Our eyes react to pain in much the same way as to emotional shock. Richard Chapman and his colleagues conducted an experiment with volunteers using a stun gun. As it turned out, when pain occurs, the pupil enlarges by 0.2 mm .

I did drugs

Classics of the genre: drugs affect changes in the size and speed of reaction of the pupils . If a person is under the influence of cocaine, amphetamine or LSD, the pupils are enlarged by approximately 6 mm. Under the influence of alcohol, on the contrary, they are reduced in size. This fact is well known to police and traffic police officers. That is why when checking documents they look so carefully into your eyes. Obviously, there can be no question of sympathy here.

As you already understand, in all cases we are dealing with the dilation or constriction of the pupils. Most often, the pupils are enlarged when a person experiences positive emotions and, accordingly, constricted when negative emotions occur . But using only this parameter does not provide a clear understanding of what a person actually feels. The reaction of the pupils should be considered based on a certain situation and including other parameters - then it is almost possible to determine the true feelings and intentions of the interlocutor from the eyes.

When talking, a person does not make eye contact, what does this mean?

When a person does not make eye contact when communicating, there is often a feeling of understatement, as if he is hiding something. And usually this intuitive feeling does not deceive.

When a teenager doesn't make eye contact

If this concerns children, especially teenagers, this situation often arises. Parents begin to notice that their daughter or son avoids looking directly when talking, moving their eyes to the side or lowering them “to the floor.” When asked directly, children answer that they are uncomfortable making eye contact. Why is this happening?

Usually this behavior is preceded by some event, especially if the child previously looked calmly into the eyes, and then suddenly suddenly began to experience awkwardness during visual contact. Think about what it could be.

Specifically in adolescence, this phenomenon can have many individual reasons or a whole complex of them.

During this period of time, teenagers experience their first loves, their bodies change, “hormones play” - as if the whole world around them is changing, and they don’t know how to hide it and how to adapt to numerous changes themselves.

It is important to give time to come to your senses - by the age of 16-17 the child will adapt to his new state and learn to communicate adequately

When an adult doesn't make eye contact

When an adult avoids looking into your eyes - either he does not want to see something in you, or he does not want to show something in himself, he is uncomfortable, because a huge flow of information goes through the eyes.

Maybe at this moment he is experiencing emotions that he does not want to share with you for some reason. For example, he may be angry with you or jealous of you.

It’s not for nothing that they say that eyes are the mirror of the soul; sometimes they can tell the observer more than their owner would like.

Attempts to emphasize the face (glasses, beard, long bangs, low cap) are also a way to distract attention from direct visual contact, a preference to remain more autonomous, secluded, protected

What to do if a person does not make eye contact?

Don't support him in this game, don't look away, act like you always do. Don't put pressure on him, he's uncomfortable.

Most likely, something in your behavior is causing you to try to isolate yourself - perhaps you are asking unwanted questions that can be unpleasant, too formal and intrusive for the interlocutor.

Turn your attention to yourself, learn to talk about your thoughts and feelings

Other reasons why a person avoids making eye contact

Other reasons overlap with the above in one way or another:

- Feeling of self-doubt

When communicating, a person behaves nervously - he fidgets with something, constantly touches his hair, and experiences emotional agitation. Usually he does not look you in the eyes because he does not know whether he is behaving correctly in this situation.

— Shyness

An attempt to hide their feelings is typical of shy people, so a person does not look into the eyes.

— Irritation

Prolonged visual contact often causes irritation - the interlocutor begins to think that you are trying to unravel all his secrets,

— Piercing gaze

It is unpleasant for the owner of a heavy gaze to look into the eyes, as it causes discomfort.

- Not interested

Sometimes avoiding eye contact means that the other person is simply not interested. This can be confirmed by yawning, frequent glances at the clock, and inventing excuses to stop communicating.

- A lot of information at once

A glance conveys a lot of information about another person; in order to assimilate it, you need to temporarily look away.

What is the look of a man in love?

You need to understand that the loving gaze of a real man is very different from such an alluring gaze. When a man is in love, he looks at his beloved with a gentle, slightly clouded and caring gaze. He cannot stand her gaze for long. Therefore, he will periodically look away. He will also try to notice all the slightest actions and movements of the woman with whom he is in love.

Changes in her appearance and appearance as a whole will not go unnoticed by him. He may very clumsily compliment her and comment on how beautiful she looks. You should sincerely thank him, because such feelings are very expensive. You should not tease a man and play on his sincere feelings. He doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Therefore, if you feel that you cannot respond to his feelings with consent, it is better to immediately let him know and try to remain friends. If he doesn’t want this, then try to distance yourself as much as possible.

There are only a few secret words , upon hearing which a man will begin to fall in love.

Discover a secret that only a few women know. Click the button and watch the video to the end.

Source: artemdal.ru

The look can be warm, kind, burning, passionate, angry, cheerful, and also intent. And not everyone can withstand this look. Moreover, you can not only see it, but also feel it. Scientists found this out during an experiment in which one hundred people took part. They were seated one by one in the center of the room, and another participant in the experiment sat behind him, looking intently at the back of the first. 95 out of a hundred people said they felt this gaze.

There are many people in history whose gaze almost no one could stand. Caligula, Ivan the Terrible, Paul I, Hitler, Stalin had this. Today, psychologists count dozens of reasons why people cannot stand someone’s gaze. Often it is men who avert their eyes. And there are many reasons for this. One of them is the power of gaze.

For the first time, from a scientific point of view, the Soviet scientist, candidate of physical and mathematical sciences Bernard Kazhinsky spoke about this. He hypothesized that the human eye emits electromagnetic waves that have certain frequency characteristics. The same was stated by Nobel laureate in physiology and medicine Ronald Ross. He even conducted a series of experiments during which the participant had to look at a very small magnetic needle hanging on a silk thread. Many people managed to turn their gaze to the arrow.

Something like this was suspected back in ancient times. It is no coincidence that people were blindfolded before execution. And not because they weren’t scared, but so that people watching the execution wouldn’t be scared. The gaze of a person who is in a state of passion or even just extreme emotional excitement is extremely dangerous.

German psychologist Wilhelm Jonen, who has extensive experience as a psychotherapist, believes that the peculiarities of raising boys (they must be strong, courageous, fearless) makes them become either very impudent and even arrogant - hence the desire to at least show their superiority with a glance, or those who afraid to show his fear, and therefore he is the first to look away.

The famous Austrian psychologist Adler Alfred spoke about the same thing. According to his theory, the main driving forces of personality development are the desire for excellence, success and perfection and a sense of community, which is expressed in interaction with other people to achieve common goals. When a person's sense of community is undeveloped, various forms of psychopathology and social deviations arise. This includes nervous, intimidated men who, on the one hand, are afraid of appearing cowardly, and on the other, even more afraid of showing their fear of a strong personality. These are the ones who are the first to avert their eyes and often not only from the male gaze, but also from the female gaze, I feel a certain strength and even superiority in it.

According to Doctor of Historical Sciences, anthropologist, professor of the educational and scientific center of social anthropology of the Russian State University for the Humanities, head of the sector of cross-cultural psychology and human ethology of the Institute of Ethnology and Anthropology of the Russian Academy of Sciences Marina Butovskaya, the fear of direct gaze is of a biological nature. In the animal world, eye-to-eye gaze is either aggression and a challenge between two males, or evaluation and selection when looking at a male and a female. A person has a more complex mental organization, so the type of look has many halftones. But the main reasons are still the same.

So, when two men meet, one of them averts his eyes because he feels the strength of the other and does not even try to compete with him. However, often those who have something evil in their minds do this and avert their eyes so as not to be exposed. It is no coincidence that the character and personal qualities of a person are first assessed by the eyes: good, evil, cunning, simple-minded, optimistic, cheerful, and so on.

By the way, this is exactly how a man behaves with a woman, avoiding direct gaze, when he is hiding something from her or is guilty. He does the same if he likes a woman, but he is afraid of her refusal or ridicule.

But there is also a situation when a man hides his gaze from a woman. And it is directly related to what the great psychotherapists said about raising boys. Dr. Debi Smith, an American family therapist, often encounters a situation where a woman complains about her husband who does not want to talk about problems, does not listen to her and even avoids looking at her. In fact, says Dr. Smith, the man understands that in this situation he cannot solve the problem, but he cannot admit this to the woman. It contains a program that a man must decide everything himself and have the strength and capabilities to do so. What if they don't exist? So he is trying in this way to simultaneously avoid the problem and not betray his inability to solve it.

Source: tstosterone.ru

What is the normal amount of eye contact?

So, according to the latest research, avoiding the direct gaze of your interlocutor in certain situations is an absolutely normal reaction. After all, too much visual contact often makes you feel uncomfortable. Statistically, the acceptable duration of eye contact is about 3 seconds. If eye to eye gaze lasts for more than 9 seconds, our psychological mechanisms begin to perceive this as a threat or aggression in the case of a stranger, and as involvement in the case of a loved one. The perception of direct gaze as a sign of aggression is explained by our biological basis of perception. After all, initially prolonged eye contact in the animal world indicates a challenge - among two males measuring their gaze, the one who first looks away loses.

This is confirmed by the latest research. It is believed that maintaining direct eye contact is normal if it takes up to 70% of the communication time. According to statistics, during communication, people look into each other's eyes almost 50% of the time, lovers - from 60% to 80%. It’s interesting that managers look directly at their subordinates from 80 to 100% of the time.

Why can’t animals withstand a person’s direct gaze eye to eye for a long time???

Pavel a. Shilyagin

a close look into the eyes - a sight. a response glance is a challenge. It’s better to look not into the eyes, but between them - precisely while aiming. the animal understands that it can be attacked - and if it does not consider itself capable of resisting - it will look away, refusing to fight and admitting defeat. and if it believes that it can win, then it will rush - if it decides that it’s time to teach your self-confidence a lesson. This is why all dog owners are recommended to play staring contest with their pet - and force him to look away every time.

Gatto

because in animals a long gaze has a threatening character, a readiness to attack, and even domestic animals instinctively look away “apparently scary,” although not always, for example, there were cases when, after such experiments on dogs, they rushed at people.

Vlango

Why can't he stand it? My cat and I stared into each other’s eyes for a long time out of curiosity, then I got tired of it. She is very capricious, but loyal. Anything is possible with your pet; eye to eye is not a sign of aggression, but a sign of interest in each other. If there is interest, he will watch. Another question is who the domestic cat considers itself in relation to a person - a slave, a subordinate, a friend, a cohabitant, a competitor, a partner, a master or a god.

Why does the man just stare?

Most likely this happens because the young man has very strong feelings towards her, but at the same time is by nature a very shy young man. If a man periodically looks with an interested gaze and has a concerned expression on his face, this means that he is trying to determine how interested you may be in his person and what prospects your relationship may have. At the same time, he expects your response and waits for what actions you will demonstrate. He may also try to pique your interest and thereby provoke intimacy. Before taking active steps, a woman should collect as much available information about a man as possible.

First of all, you need to find out whether he is free or not, and what his status is. Very often, such an enticing look is demonstrated by unfree men when they want to lure a woman into a non-binding relationship. This is how he tries to show that he is flirting. In fact, a woman is very receptive to such signs of attention. Therefore, she should analyze his attitude and her intentions. If she does not want to be involved in such a relationship, she should clearly make this clear to him and try to distance herself as much as possible. Otherwise, there is a chance to get bogged down in a relationship that will only pull her back.

What does it mean if a man makes eye contact?

Eyes are the mirror of the soul. Looking into them, you can see a person “from the inside.” The eyes conceal all the inner experiences and sensations of a person, his emotions and feelings. When we want to better understand a person, to find out what he really wants to tell us or do, we look into his eyes. Of course, when communicating with loved ones and relatives, we practically do not take our eyes off them, looking into their faces all the time. It's easy, natural and happens naturally. But it’s completely different when our interlocutor is a stranger or an unfamiliar man. Out of nowhere, awkwardness and embarrassment appear. And in general, constant eye contact would be inappropriate and vulgar in such a situation. After all, a long look is a very intimate moment.

Girls often wonder: what does it mean if a man looks into his eyes? Of course, if this man is your loved one, he is doing this because he loves you very much and wants to understand how you feel. But if a stranger, not yet familiar enough to you, a man looks intently into your eyes, this is a completely different matter. Well, at least he likes you. He is pleased to look at you, and he does not look away. But what does he really feel?

What does it mean if a man makes eye contact?

Notice some of the details in his view. If you notice that his pupils dilate slightly during your conversation, this means that he is really interested in you

However, sometimes it is quite difficult to notice. After all, not all men are so brave that they will not lower their gaze, but will look at you point-blank all the time. Many behave more modestly. They sneak glances at you without you noticing. But any woman can feel

There is also a completely different view. For example, when a man's eyebrow is slightly raised or arched. This is not a good sign. Most likely, he doesn’t like you in some way or irritates him, or he considers himself superior to you. If a man looks coldly and arrogantly into your eyes, it is better to stop communicating immediately. Meeting such a man will not lead to anything good.

In the case when a man’s gaze clearly reveals his interest in you, you simply need to find out about his intentions. What if this person is just another seducer or ladies' man, and with his burning gaze he wants to captivate you. How to find out? Intuition. It is very difficult to deceive your irreplaceable sixth sense. Most likely, you yourself will feel how serious a man is about you. Another way to recognize a seducer is to take a closer look at his behavior. Such a person will be betrayed by excessive self-confidence. After all, if a guy likes a girl, embarrassment will be noticeable in his behavior, and if a man constantly looks into the eyes with confidence and the smile of a boa constrictor about to swallow a rabbit, one can hardly say anything about high feelings.

A close male gaze with a twinkle means a strong sexual attraction towards you. Most likely, the man noticed you earlier and is now trying to make every effort to quickly achieve what he wants. In this situation, everything is in your hands. If you are a supporter of non-binding romances, you can safely smile back at him. If you are not satisfied with this kind of relationship, it is better not to look in his direction at all and keep yourself cold and distant.

But how, among the thousands of glances that we catch every day, can we see exactly the one that looks at you with sympathy and love? It’s quite difficult to give a definite answer here, because you can’t look into everyone’s soul. Listen to your inner voice. It is he who will give you the necessary hint. But if a man looks into your eyes and his gaze does not cause you discomfort, this is a good sign. Connect your intuition and try to unravel it by observing behavior and actions. What if he is your soulmate?

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What does the look of a man in love look like?

When a man is in love, his pupils involuntarily dilate. Because adrenaline is released into the blood, which makes the heart beat faster, which entails such a reaction in the eyes. In addition, a person in love has an increased shine of the cornea. This is why they sometimes talk about a radiant look. It is extremely important to observe the image of a man as a whole. A man in love tries to stay close to his chosen one. In this case, his body, palms and feet will always be directed towards her. He will never hide from her behind a closing gesture.

How to find the key to a man's heart? Use secret words that will help you conquer him.

If you want to find out what you need to say to a man to charm him, click on the button below and watch the video to the end.

That is, he will not cross his arms or clench his palms. On the contrary, his limbs will be relaxed and turned towards her. Physiologically, men blink much more often than women. Therefore, if a man looks at a girl with an unblinking gaze, this means that conflicting feelings are fighting in his soul. Often this indicates a state of extreme excitement, which he tries to hide from all strangers. When a man tries to follow the movements and leashes of his beloved, this may mean that his intentions are more serious. He wants to learn as much as possible about her and become part of her world. Many girls try to find out why a young man is following her with his eyes, but at the same time does not make any attempts to start communication.

Relationships between partners

To understand the nature of the relationship between partners, it is important to analyze not so much the basic parameters of eye contact as their changes at certain moments of communication: how often the interlocutor looks into the other’s eyes is less important than the fact that he stops doing it or, conversely, starts. In the normal development of relationships, people look at each other from 30 to 60% of the entire period of communication

If two people look at each other more than 60% of the time during a business conversation, then they are most likely more interested in the personality of the partner than in the subject of contact. With positive development of relationships, partners look at each other longer and more often when they listen, and not when they speak. If the relationship becomes aggressive, the frequency and intensity of glances increases sharply

In the normal development of relationships, people look at each other from 30 to 60% of the entire period of communication. If two people look at each other more than 60% of the time during a business conversation, then they are most likely more interested in the personality of the partner than in the subject of contact. With positive development of relationships, partners look at each other longer and more often when they listen, and not when they speak. If the relationship becomes aggressive, the frequency and intensity of glances increases sharply.

Eye contact also increases with increasing distance between speakers: people tend to look at the speaker more when he is at some distance. The gender and age of the partners have a significant impact on the relationship between the time parameters of eye contact and communication distance. If in men eye contact increases with increasing distance, then in women this relationship is not so straightforward: the most intense contact is observed when the partners are at a distance of 15 cm; the average is at 60 cm, the smallest is at 3 m. Some authors are inclined to believe that the large distance between partners blocks the level of influence necessary for women and therefore they simply avoid interaction.

Eye contact is significantly associated with differences in the status of communicators: eye contact is at an average level with an addressee of very high status, reaches a maximum with a moderately high status of the addressee, and decreases to a minimum with a low status of the addressee. If the eyes of the participants in the interaction are directed to any one person, then this indicates his clear leadership position in the group.

In business communication, eye contact helps the speaker feel like he is communicating with a partner rather than talking into space.

Looking at the speaker not only expresses interest, but also helps to focus attention on what the other person is saying. In business interactions, it is advisable that both the speaker and the listener look into each other's eyes for no more than 10 seconds before starting a conversation or after the first few phrases are spoken

In addition, partners need to strive to ensure that their eyes meet the eyes of their interlocutor from time to time. In approximately 2 seconds. before the end of his speech, the speaker increases the percentage of glances at the listener in 0.25 seconds. this percentage is increasingly increasing, and at the end of the speech, the speaker, as a rule, looks directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, as if saying: “I said everything, now it’s your turn.”

Don't trust your fleeting glance!

I would like to say more about the latter and warn inexperienced women to be wary of such frank, provocative looks. Typically, pick-up artists often use this technique to conquer the weaker sex for one or several nights. Be prepared to be taken advantage of and end up crying into your pillow at home at night. How can you determine that a look is insincere and has sexual overtones? Here are some signs for you:

the pupils are clouded, unclear, often run around (pay attention to whether the man is sober at all);
a sweet smile that does not disappear from his face should alert you, since men often rely on it to reinforce their flirting;
a too direct and daring look that undresses the victim carries nothing other than a thirst for sex.

Eyes to eyes. The meaning of views

Attitude series:

Part 1 - What to wear on a first date to look your best? Part 2 - “What beast is inside a woman? or A woman is a mystery to a man..." ... Part 12 - Women's cunning, or How to make a man lose weight? Part 13 - How to meet a man Part 14 - Eye to eye. The meaning of looks Part 15 - Why do women love scoundrels? Part 16 - 3:0 in favor of a mistress or how to get rid of your wife... Part 22 - In the arms of a bitch, or How to attract a man Part 23 - How to become a bitch Part 24 - A bitch who wants to fall in love with a man for a long time and seriously must learn ten rules.

Series of messages from "men":

Part 1 - What to wear on a first date to look your best? Part 2 - How to make a guy fall in love with you... Part 13 - Women's cunning, or How to make a man lose weight? Part 14 - How to meet a man Part 15 - Eye to eye. The meaning of looks Part 16 - Dance Part 17 - Why do women love scoundrels? ... Part 25 - In the arms of a bitch, or How to attract a man Part 26 - How to become a bitch Part 27 - A bitch who wants to make a man fall in love for a long time and seriously must learn ten rules.

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What is the norm?

How long can you look into someone else's eyes during a conversation? Much depends on the situation, for example, in a one-on-one conversation, a person will naturally aim his pupils at the pupils much more often. In groups, people tend to look at the other person for about 3-5 seconds, but when the conversation is one-on-one, the time increases by 7-10 seconds before they look away.

So how much is considered normal? On average, 30 to 60% of the time spent in eye contact is pretty decent. It’s as if you don’t glare at your interlocutor and show interest.

And if you spend less time, they may be offended - they say, you are not interested in communicating with people.

Pupil.

I see by the eyes also means “I see by the pupils.” If a person can change the oval of the eyes consciously, then the size of the pupils changes on its own, depending on the situation. The pupils mean they are very truthful.

Expanded.

Excitation signal. It is subconsciously perceived positively by others. This means that the person is currently friendly, has a friendly attitude, wants to make a good impression, and does not feign kindness, is responsive to you, and takes you to heart.

Narrowed.

Signal of hostility. The complete opposite - there is no warmth, friendliness, goodwill or concern for you. The attitude is selfish, not cordial.

Note.

The size of the pupil also depends on external factors. For example, lighting, wind, flashing elements and even noise around. Agree that when there is bad weather, wind, hurricane and noise around, it is difficult to look at your interlocutor with dilated pupils in love. In the dark, the pupils are dilated to let as much light as possible onto the retina, and in bright light the pupils are constricted. You can also guess from the pupils about the visual acuity of your interlocutor. Myopic people most often have dilated pupils, especially when they do not wear glasses for a long time. Farsighted people, on the contrary, have constricted pupils. If you take these factors into account quickly and accurately, you will draw the right conclusions about a person’s mood and be able to tell him “I can see you in your eyes.”

What does a girl's look mean? Fleeting, in your eyes, intent, and direct and long in your eyes?

Girls please explain what this means. I've been wondering for a long time what this could mean... Fleeting, in the eyes, intent (female), and direct and long in the eyes? well, these are not all types)) ) Views from the street, transport, passing by, meeting, just when I saw it. — I ask all trolls (m) not to write anything in this topic. Please don’t be stingy with the text, I really like to read)))

Dmitry unknown

It seems to me that you are missing the context (situation and environment) in which this happens. You can't pull it out like that. You can, of course, say that this means one thing and that means another, but I think that the meaning and reason are quite variable and depend on the situation in which they occur. Unfortunately, you did not describe the situation, so it is difficult for me to give a more specific answer... I add: the 1st is about nothing, we looked and that’s it (nothing significant happened =)) 2nd and 3rd Hmm, are you sure that only girls have such a reaction? (It matters...)

If a man stares without looking up

The psychology of the stronger sex is designed in such a way that a man’s gaze into a woman’s eyes can mean a lot. Unlike girls, guys are less emotional and are not used to openly showing their feelings.

In this matter, the main thing is not to make a mistake and interpret eye contact correctly. Many girls are accustomed to relying on intuition.

When talking

Making eye contact during a conversation speaks volumes. The situation and the general component of the dialogue are also important. If a man stares at a woman while sitting in a cafe and chatting about nothing, this may be a sign of interest and sympathy.

Looking at the eyes, lips, and décolleté is a clear sign of passion and desire. These emotions are indicated by a dilated pupil and a desire to periodically touch the interlocutor.

If there is a quarrel or a tense dialogue between a man and a woman, then the gaze does not mean anything good. Perhaps the guy is angry or annoyed. Very often, the stronger sex keeps anger deep inside itself, but a sharp, directed gaze at the interlocutor can tell about his true emotions.

Secretly

Stealing a glance or looking at a lady from afar indicates that the guy is interested in her, but is afraid to approach her and talk about his feelings. Such young people can hide their emotions for years; they will only show them in such periodic peeks.

What should a girl do in this situation? If she is not indifferent to the guy, she should take the first step on her own. Such modesty does not indicate his negative qualities. An indecisive young man is afraid of being rejected and ridiculed, that’s all.

Passing by a woman

Looking eye to eye between a man and a woman as they pass each other indicates clear interest on both sides. If a guy follows a girl with his eyes during a meeting, this means that he likes her and he doesn’t mind starting a conversation.

What should a girl do in such a situation? Most likely, after some time the man himself will take the first step. If he allows himself to openly gaze at a representative of the fair sex passing by, he has no problems with self-esteem.

Passing by a woman

Classification of views

"Speaking". If a man looks intently into your eyes with an unblinking gaze, his pupils are dilated, he admires you, cherishes every movement, every moment of your actions, but at the same time says absolutely nothing with his lips, this means that he speaks with his eyes, it is with them that he tries to express his tenderness , love, trust and admiration. This is often done by indecisive men or those who are too amazed by you.
A look awaiting an answer. It also happens that a man’s soul is worried about some important question, a sincere answer to which he will receive only thanks to the expression in his eyes. For example, he wants to know whether you will marry him, whether you will become a loving mother to his children, whether you will be faithful to him, and so on. For men who have serious plans for a woman, this is very important because it can determine your future life together.
Seductive look. It can occur when a man feels a strong sexual attraction to you.

Duration of gaze

The frequency, duration and “closeness” of direct gaze into the eyes of the interlocutor are also determined by individual characteristics. They manifest themselves primarily in the fact that women look at other people on average longer than men, and the woman's eye contact with her female partner is much longer than with her male partner. Men look longer into the eyes of male partners than women. Differences also appear in another way: in the process of communication, women look much longer at those with whom they sympathize, and men - at those who sympathize with them.

The duration of the gaze also depends on such individual characteristics as the degree of sociability and abstract thinking. In general, sociable, open, other-oriented people look at their interlocutors more closely and longer than closed, self-oriented people. Those who think more abstractly, abstractly, look at their partner longer than those who think in concrete images.

Cross-cultural differences also influence gaze duration. Thus, many peoples of the world have “cultural prohibitions” on eye contact, on looking closely and for a long time. For example, the Japanese close their eyes when traveling on public transport, demonstrating special delicacy towards other passengers. The peoples of the North Caucasus also have restrictions on eye contact: such taboos apply to women communicating with male partners and to men during their interactions with older people. At the same time, there is a similarity between such indicators of proxemics as eye contact and spatial proximity: in cultures where spatial proximity is preferred, more pronounced eye contact is also preferred. Thus, compared to North Americans, Arabs not only choose a closer location, but also make more eye contact, touch each other more often and talk louder.

Eye contact is associated with certain types of relationships with a partner:

“distance”
is the positive pole (“involvement” in contact, relationships of attachment, interest, acceptance, which corresponds to intense visual contact, subject to rules in accordance with the role of the communicator and listener); negative pole (“disconnection” from contact, detachment, autonomy, alienation of relationships, expressed by infrequent, weak or completely absent eye contact);
“position”
is the pole of “control” (dominance, power, suppression, which corresponds to the intensity and duration of looking at the partner, especially during moments of active communication); the pole of “submission” (submissiveness, uncertainty with a characteristic “curtailed” eye contact, partial and quick glances at the partner, as well as a rather persistent search for the partner’s gaze);
“valence”
- positive pole (relationships of emotional closeness, goodwill, sympathy, accompanied by a warm, affectionate look); negative pole (“emotional coldness”, suspicion, hostility, expressed by a close, hard, cold gaze).

Thus, each component of nonverbal communication can be considered as a specific code. Any information must be encoded, and in such a way that the encoding and decoding system is known to all participants in the communication process. But in the case of nonverbal communication, it is necessary to determine which of its components can be considered a code. And if partners do not resort to the same encoding and decoding of information, then nonverbal communication will not provide any semantic addition to verbal communication.

Nevertheless, nonverbal communication systems play a large auxiliary and sometimes independent role in the communication process. They are able to both strengthen and weaken verbal influence and reveal the true intentions of the participants.

Nonverbal communication in different countries

They say that “Language will take you to Kyiv.” Indeed, it was communication with people that replaced modern gadgets for thousands of years. There were no satellites to support navigators. There were no smartphones with built-in maps at hand. Yes, there were times when maps as such had not yet been drawn! But people traveled. We moved around the world and didn’t really get lost.

Of course, speech helped in communication and explanations. But not everyone was polyglots. Someone knew only their native language, but by the will of fate they ended up in a foreign land. This is where the finest hour of nonverbal communication came. Active gestures and facial expressions contributed to understanding without words.

However, we must not forget that we are all very different people. We differ in nationalities, religious worldviews, and extol different cultural values. All this is reflected in the fact that nonverbal communication manifests itself differently in other countries. What is good in our country may mean an insult in another.

Therefore, in order to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, you should familiarize yourself with the peculiarities of the non-verbal culture of the country you are planning to travel to.

"All OK!"

One of the most popular gestures is a clenched fist with the thumb up. In most countries it means that everything is excellent and expresses praise.

However, when traveling to Australia, America, England, Nigeria or Greece you need to be careful with this combination. There it means an insult, something like sending us to hell.

But at the same time, the same gesture is used when catching a passing car or taxi.

An equally well-known gesture is a ring made from the connected pads of the thumb and index finger. For us English, Americans and some Asians it also means “everything is ok!”

But under no circumstances should it be shown in Muslim countries. There this is a hint of unconventional orientation. Brazilians and Portuguese will also be offended by this symbol.

"Victory"

The V-shaped combination of the middle and index fingers symbolizes victory or 2.

But if you turn your palm towards yourself, then the Australians, the British and the residents of New Zealand will consider that they were insulted by suggesting a walk towards the “wooden hills and iron bricks”.

“Fingers to the temple”

When we doubt the sanity of our interlocutor, in a fit of emotion we can twirl our fingers at our temple. Surprisingly, in Holland this gesture is the exact opposite symbol.

If they twisted it at your temple in front of you, you can be happy, because they found you very witty.

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Monday, October 01, 2007 12:46 + to quote book Playing in the speakers - DDT - Russians
The mood now - I don’t know... =)
Emphasizing a certain connection between the internal, psychological content of the personality and the external, morphological features of the facial structure, it should be remembered that the face of any person is not something frozen, but represents a whole range of different movements, which is expressed in facial expressions.
Face, look
For example, a fully raised head indicates self-confidence, expressed self-awareness, complete openness and attention to the world around us due to an intense relationship with it.
A pointedly raised head reveals a lack of intimacy, self-aggrandizement or arrogance. Throwing your head back demonstrates a great desire for activity, a challenge. And, on the contrary, a head tilted to one side indicates a refusal of one’s own activity, complete openness to the interlocutor “the desire to meet halfway, even to the point of submission. A relaxed head hanging down is a sign of a general lack of readiness for tension, lack of will. The “language of gaze” is very diverse. Thus, completely open eyes characterize high receptivity of feelings and reason, general liveliness. Eyes that are too wide open (“bulging”) indicate an increase in optical attachment to the surrounding world. Closed, “curtained” eyes are often a sign of inertia, indifference, arrogance, boredom or extreme fatigue. A narrowed or squinted gaze means either concentrated, close attention (observation), or (in combination with a side glance) cunning, cunning. A direct gaze, with the face completely turned to the partner, demonstrates interest, trust, openness, and readiness for direct interaction. A sideways glance, from the corners of the eyes, indicates a lack of full dedication, skepticism, and mistrust. A look from below (with a bowed head) indicates either an aggressive readiness for action, or (with a bent back) subordination, humility, and helpfulness. Looking from top to bottom (with the head thrown back) reveals a feeling of superiority, arrogance, contempt, and a search for dominance. An evasive gaze indicates uncertainty, modesty or timidity, and possibly a feeling of guilt. The corners of the mouth drawn down symbolize a generally negative attitude towards life, a general sad expression on the face. Raised corners of the mouth reflect a positive attitude towards life, a lively and cheerful expression. If the mouth appears plump, it indicates increased vitality of the senses; soft - for sensitivity; sharp, precisely carved - for intelligence; firm - for certainty of will. The German anthropologist Carsten Nimitz, using a video recorder to study a smile in its dynamics, found that the impression of sincerity or feignedness of a smile arises depending on the speed with which the corners of the mouth rise, and on the simultaneous widening of the eyes, followed by a brief shift of the eyelids. The researcher emphasizes that widening the eyes for too long without briefly closing them in combination with a smile is considered a threat. On the contrary, briefly closing the eyes is a pacifying element of facial expression. The smiling one makes it clear: “I don’t expect anything bad from you, you see, I even close my eyes.” Gestures.
The means of nonverbal communication include, in addition to facial expressions and gestures.
“Reading” hand language and gestures in general is increasingly becoming the subject of research, especially abroad (for example, G. Calero, D. Nuremberg, A. Stangl, S. Dunkell, etc.). A. Stangl in his works describes many gestures, especially the arms and hands, the “reading” of which allows you to better understand your interlocutor.
Arms hanging sluggishly along the body - passivity, lack of readiness for action, lack of will. Arms crossed on the chest - a defensive reaction, a certain isolation, some waiting.
Hands clasped behind the back - lack of readiness for action, as well as hidden carrying, timidity, predicament. palm open upward - a gesture of explanation, persuasion, open representation, giving. One or both hands are hidden in pockets - hiding difficulties, uncertainty, loss of spontaneity. The hand clenches into a fist - concentration, mastery of excitement, desire for self-affirmation. Rubbing hands - a person is possessed by pleasant, satisfying thoughts. The hand takes something or makes a movement in a certain direction - directly bodily, material grasping, which is a sign of a greedy person who thinks too much about material possessions. Movements of the hands that cover the face or part of it - the desire to hide, conceal, conceal one’s condition; thoughtfulness or difficulty. Erasing movement of hands on the forehead - erasing bad thoughts, bad ideas or concentrating on thoughts. An open palm strokes something pleasant to the touch (for example, another hand) - a gentle disposition, a complacent mood. A tensely straightened index finger is a sign of concentration on the internal state, regardless of other people. The index finger, straight, touches the edge of the lips - a feeling of uncertainty, a search for reasons, help. Finger stuck in mouth - naivety, state of absent-mindedness, misunderstanding. A finger touching the eyes or ears is a sign of some awkwardness, a certain timidity, a desire to run away. The tips of the index and thumb touch, while the rest, especially the little finger, protrude - a high degree of concentration of attention to the finest details. Hands rest on the hips - the need to strengthen the self, strengthen it, demonstrate one’s firmness and superiority, challenge, bravado - from naive to malicious forms. Often overcompensation for hidden feelings of weakness or embarrassment. The hands support the upper body, leaning on something (for example, on a table, the back of a chair, a low platform, etc.) - the desire for spiritual support or internal uncertainty. Every human gesture is like a word in a language. By reading gestures, we provide feedback that plays a major role in the interaction process, and test groups are an important component of feedback. “Wordless” feedback can warn you that you need to change your behavior or do something to achieve the result you want in communicating with your students or about a specific interlocutor. Here are some groups of gestures described by American communication specialists D. Nurenberg and G. Calero.
Gestures of openness.
Among them, the following can be distinguished: open hands with palms up (a gesture associated with sincerity and openness), a shrug accompanied by a gesture of open hands (indicates openness of nature), unbuttoning a jacket (people who are open and friendly towards you often unbutton their jacket during a conversation and even take it off in your presence). For example, when children are proud of their achievements, they openly show their hands, and when they feel guilty or wary, they hide their hands either in their pockets or behind their backs. Experts also noticed that during successful negotiations, their participants unbutton their jackets, straighten their legs, and move to the edge of the chair close to the table, which separates them from the interlocutor. Gestures of protection (defensive). They respond to possible threats and conflict situations. When we see that the interlocutor has his arms crossed on his chest, we should reconsider what we are doing or saying, because he begins to move away from the discussion. Hands clenched into fists also mean a defensive reaction from the speaker. Gestures of appreciation. They express thoughtfulness and dreaminess. For example, the “hand on cheek” gesture - people resting their cheek on their hand are usually immersed in deep thought. A gesture of critical assessment - the chin rests on the palm. the index finger is extended along the cheek, the remaining fingers are below the mouth (position (the “this is wonderful!” position). A bowed head is a gesture of attentive listening. So, if the majority of listeners in the audience do not have their heads bowed, it means the group as a whole is not interested in the material, which the teacher sets out. Scratching the underside (odka (gesture “okay, let’s think”) is used when a person is busy making a decision. Gestures about glasses (wiping glasses, putting the temple of glasses in the mouth, etc.) are a pause for thinking. thinking position before offering more forceful resistance, asking for clarification or posing a question. Pacing is a gesture indicating an attempt to resolve a difficult problem or make a difficult decision. Pinching the bridge of the nose is a gesture, usually combined with closed eyes, and indicates deep concentration of “intense thought.” Gestures of boredom. These are expressed in tapping the foot on the floor or clicking the cap of a fountain pen. Head in the palm. Mechanical drawing on paper. Blank look (“I look at you, but I don’t listen”). Gestures of courtship, “preening.” For women, they look like smoothing their hair, straightening their hair, clothes, looking at themselves in the mirror and turning in front of it; swaying your hips, slowly crossing and spreading your legs in front of a man, stroking yourself on your calves, knees, thighs; balancing shoes on the tips of your fingers (“in your presence I feel comfortable”), for men - adjusting a tie, cufflinks, jacket, straightening the whole body, moving the chin up and down towards others. Gestures of suspicion and secrecy. The hand covers the mouth - the interlocutor carefully hides his position on the issue under discussion. Looking to the side is an indicator of secrecy. Feet or the whole body facing the exit is a sure sign that a person wants to end a conversation or meeting. Touching or rubbing the nose with the index finger is a sign of doubt (other varieties of this gesture are rubbing the index finger behind or in front of the ear, rubbing the eyes). Gestures of dominance and submission. Superiority can be expressed in a welcoming handshake. When a person shakes your hand firmly and turns it so that his palm rests on top of yours, he is trying to express something like physical superiority. And, conversely, when he extends his hand with his palm up, it means he is ready to accept a subordinate role. When the interlocutor’s hand is casually tucked into his jacket pocket during a conversation, and his thumb is outside, this expresses the person’s confidence in his superiority. Gestures of readiness. Hands on hips are the first sign of readiness (this can often be seen in athletes waiting for their turn to perform). A variation of this pose in a sitting position - a person sits on the edge of a chair, the elbow of one hand and the palm of the other resting on the knees (this is how they sit immediately before concluding an agreement or, conversely, before getting up and leaving). Gestures of reinsurance. Different finger movements reflect different sensations: uncertainty, internal conflict, fears. In this case, the child sucks his finger, the teenager bites his nails, and the adult often replaces his finger with a fountain pen or pencil and bites them. Other gestures of this group are interlocking fingers, with the thumbs rubbing each other; pinching of the skin; touching the back of a chair before sitting down in a gathering of other people. For women, a typical gesture of instilling inner confidence is a slow and graceful raising of the hand to the neck. Gestures of frustration. They are characterized by short, intermittent breathing, often accompanied by unclear sounds such as moaning, mooing, etc. / one who does not notice the moment when his opponent begins to breathe quickly and continues to prove his point may run into trouble /; tightly entwined, tense hands - a gesture of distrust and suspicion (one who tries, by clasping his hands, to assure others of his sincerity, usually does not have success), hands tightly clasping one another - this means the person is in a “trouble” (for example, he must respond to question containing a serious accusation against him /; stroking the neck with the palm (in many cases when a person is defending himself) - women usually adjust their hair in these situations. Gestures of trust. The fingers are connected like the dome of a temple (the “dome” gesture), which means trust and some self-satisfaction, selfishness or pride (a very common gesture in superior-subordinate relationships). Gestures of authoritarianism. Hands joined behind the back, chin raised (this is often the position of army commanders, police officers, as well as senior leaders). In general, if you want to make it clear your superiority, you just need to physically rise above your opponent - sit above him if you are talking while sitting, or maybe stand in front of him. Gestures of nervousness. Coughing, clearing the throat (those who often do this feel insecure, restless), elbows are placed on the table, forming a pyramid, the top of which is the hands located directly in front of the mouth (such people play “cat and mouse” with partners while they do not give them the opportunity to “reveal their cards”, which is indicated by removing their hands from their mouths to the table), jingling of coins in their pocket, indicating concern about the availability or lack of money; tugging at one's ear is a sign that the interlocutor wants to interrupt the conversation, but is restraining himself. Gestures of self-control. Hands placed behind the back and tightly clenched. Another pose is when a person sits in a chair with their ankles crossed and their hands gripping the armrests (typical of waiting for an appointment with the dentist). The gestures of this group signal a desire to deal with strong feelings and emotions. Posture.
Pose. Gait. General and specific characteristics of a person’s posture and gait can also tell a lot to the attentive observer.
Good, relaxed posture indicates high receptivity and openness, the ability to immediately use internal forces and freedom from any limitation. Stiffness or tension in the body indicates a self-defensive reaction, avoidance of contact, closedness, often sensitivity, as well as an awkward attempt to be correct. Poor, sluggish posture, stooped back, reveal submissiveness, humility, servility. Postures of a conventional kind (one or two hands in pockets, hands behind the back or crossed on the chest, etc.) indicate a lack of independence and a need to quietly include oneself in the general order. The upper part of the human body is very informative. For example, high shoulders with a slightly hunched back and retracted chin “speak” of helplessness, nervousness, chronic fear, uncertainty and timidity; shoulders falling forward indicate a feeling of weakness and depression, an inferiority complex. The free lowering of the shoulders indicates an emerging feeling of confidence, inner freedom, and mastery of the situation. Pulling your shoulders back means determination to act, a sense of strength, activity, enterprise, and often an overestimation of your own capabilities. A protruding chest is observed in active people, with a developed sense of self-worth and a need for social contacts; a sunken chest often indicates a certain indifference, isolation, passivity, humility and depression. The position of the legs and feet can also provide certain information about the state and psychological qualities of a person. Thus, a person standing confidently on his feet (legs spaced no more than two palm widths apart), with an even distribution of body weight, indicates that this is a strong “balanced” person , calm, strong character, able to adapt to circumstances. A motionless, frozen posture, under strong tension, indicates poor adaptability, stubbornness, and inflexible self-affirmation. A variable standing posture, with a lack of tension, and frequent changes of the supporting leg and position of the feet, reveals a lack of firmness and discipline, unreliability and timidity. Rocking on your toes means either preparation for active movement, or an aggressive attitude, or indicates arrogance. The “legs wide apart” stance indicates the need for self-affirmation, broad claims, inflated self-esteem and often a feeling of inferiority. If the gait or stance is characterized by a noticeable turn of the toes outward, then this speaks of a “swaggering gait,” conceit and self-satisfaction (“stands as a peahen”). If the toes are turned inward, then this indicates a certain internal weakness, a relative lack of tension, and doubt in one’s abilities. There are several types of gait: rhythmic - a relaxed form of an elevated but balanced mood) is typical for walkers; uniform (like an army marching step) - volitional activity or striving for a goal; big steps - often extroversion, determination, enterprise, ease, abstract thinking; short, small steps - often introversion, caution, calculation, quick thinking and reaction, restraint, type of thinking, rather concrete; rhythmically strong (with increased movements of the hips) - naive, instinctive and self-confident natures, swaying shoulders in resonance - mainly showy, narcissistic individuals; shuffling, “sagging” - refusal of volitional efforts and aspirations, lethargy, slowness, laziness; hard, angular, “stilted”, “wooden” - tightness, lack of contacts, timidity, inability to express themselves freely. constant lifting on tense toes is a striving upward, driven by a strong need for a feeling of superiority, especially intellectual. There are several different ways for a person to sit: closed (legs and feet are closed) - fear of contact, lack of self-confidence; carefree-open (legs or hips widely spaced) - lack of discipline, laziness, indifferent-primitive unceremoniousness; legs closed one behind the other - natural self-confidence, complacent mood, no readiness for activity or defense; sitting on the edge of a chair, with a straight back - a high degree of interest in the subject of conversation; sitting with a constant readiness to jump up (for example, one foot is completely under the seat, the other is behind it on the toe) - typical for insecure-fearful or maliciously distrustful natures; According to D. Nurenberg and G. Calero, people who walk quickly, waving their arms, have a clear goal and are ready to immediately implement it, and people who usually keep their hands in their pockets are most likely critical and secretive, they really like to suppress others. Those who are in a depressed state of mind also often keep their hands in their pockets when walking, drag their feet and rarely look up or in the direction where they are going. Thus, the nature of the relationship, as well as some personal characteristics, may not be reflected in posture, sitting, gait or other posture typical for a given person. Arrogant people lean their body back, stick out their chest and raise their head; modest people try to be inconspicuous, so they slouch, pulling their head into their shoulders, which are slightly raised. A typical sycophant tilts his entire body forward, while fixing his gaze on his interlocutor and smiling broadly, obsequiously. Determining a person's character by his appearance is certainly not an easy task. It is always necessary to take into account that some people strive to disguise their inner content with external play. However, his typical postures still contain certain information about the individual psychological characteristics of a person’s personality and behavior. Sleep
Data on typical sleep positions is of interest.
The sleeping posture is the night language of man,” this is what the American specialist in this field, S. Dunkell, titled his book (New York, 1978). Let us present some of the sleeping positions described in the book and their interpretation. If a person sleeps on his side, curled up and pressing the pillow with his hands to his stomach, then in life he is weak and defenseless, constantly in need of help and protection. Dunkell figuratively calls such people “buds” who do not want to “bloom.” In his opinion, they subconsciously do not want to part with childhood, feeling the need for the patronage of a person with a strong character. They enjoy being taken care of. Indecisive and lacking self-confidence, they avoid responsibility and are equally susceptible to both good and bad influences. In fact, these are sensitive, impulsive natures who are guided in their actions more by their momentary mood than by common sense. If the sleeper simply lies on his side, curled up only halfway and with his legs and arms slightly spread out, then he is a balanced person who is good at adapting to the situation. Those who sleep on their stomachs, with their arms spread across the entire width of the bed and one leg bent, are usually self-confident, punctual, consistent in their reasoning, love order and do not tolerate surprises; prudent, prudent. They are often accused of pedantry and lack of imagination. They like to impose their opinion, command, and lead. Sleeping on your back is someone who, in everyday life, is self-confident, strong, calm, and feels like a leader in the environment in which he lives. Most often, spoiled children sleep this way. Those who sleep on their backs, with their hands behind their heads, are usually sociable and cordial, aware of their shortcomings, but prefer not to think about them. These are people of bright minds, friendly to others. They accept the world as it is - however, the latter is due to the desire not to complicate their life. Those who sleep on their sides, with their knees only slightly bent, are balanced, flexible people. They rarely enter into conflicts, are prone to reasonable compromises and adapt to various everyday conditions and situations without much difficulty. However, they lack courage, energy and persistence in achieving their goals. They are not characterized by ambition or the desire to be leaders and shine in society - they prefer to remain in the shadows, especially if this is the shadow of a person they love and respect. Some people sleep with one or both legs hanging off the bed, as if they are about to run somewhere. These people are constantly on the run in real life. Others sleep with one leg crossed over the other, which speaks of their restless nature, unable to understand or comprehend the events happening around them. The one who wraps himself in a blanket - so that only the tip of his nose sticks out - and hides in a corner in life is shy and afraid of collisions in life. A person sleeping face down on his stomach does not like all sorts of everyday surprises, is always precise and neat, and is never late for anything. People who sleep poorly, who are not spoiled by life, and who are ready at any moment to return to reality about its adversities usually sleep in the “sphinx” position. Voice.
A very characteristic feature that allows you to form a more general impression of a person is his voice.
Here are some characteristics of the human voice: speed of speech: a lively, lively manner of speaking, a fast pace indicate the impulsiveness of the interlocutor, his self-confidence, a calm, slow manner indicates equanimity, prudence, thoroughness; noticeable fluctuations in speech rate reveal a lack of balance, uncertainty, and slight excitability; loudness: a strong voice, as a rule, is inherent in the true strength of motives (vital force) or arrogance; a quiet, weak voice indicates restraint, modesty, tact or lack of vitality, weakness of a person; sudden changes in volume indicate emotionality and excitement; articulation: clear and distinct pronunciation indicates internal discipline, a need for clarity and a lack of liveliness; vague pronunciation, as a rule, is characteristic of compliance, uncertainty, softness, and lethargy of will; height: falsetto (literally - “head voice”) is inherent in a person whose thinking and speech come more from the intellect, chest voice - thinking and speech are emotional, natural, not created consciously; a high, shrill voice is a sign of fear and excitement, and a low voice means peace, relaxation and dignity; mode and flow of speech: rhythmic speaking (even flow of words with slight periodic fluctuations) speaks of a wealth of feelings, balance, rather, a good basic mood; strictly cyclical, correct speaking means a strong awareness of what is being experienced, tension of will, discipline, pedantry, coldness of feelings; a rounded, flowing manner of speaking (typical of communication at picnics) is characteristic of people who live deeply, fully, emotionally; an angular, abrupt manner (typical of schizothymics) characterizes sober, expedient thinking. Laughter.
Interesting observations by A. Stangl on the characteristics of laughter. Laughter in -a (ha-ha) is completely open, coming from the heart, relieving and carefree. Laughter in -e (hehe) is not very pleasant, but rather impudent and envious. Laughter in -i (hee hee) is both secretive and cunning, a mixture of irony and gloating. Laughter in -o (ho-ho) sounds boastfully pandering and is fundamentally mocking and protesting. Laughter in -u (hu-hu) indicates hidden fear, timidity.

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Smiling while gazing

A smile together with a gaze is a man’s weapon designed to melt women’s hearts. If a guy looks at a girl for a long time, when she sees this, smiles and looks away, this is a clear sign that the man is experiencing sexual attraction.

Looking eye to eye and a good-natured smile are signs of interest and curiosity. A man wants to meet his chosen one or start a closer relationship.

Point-blank eye contact and a slightly mocking smile indicate rather the opposite reaction. The girl is not interesting to him; such measures indicate irritability or even boredom.

Smile and look

How to look into the eyes correctly?

In everyday conversation between people, direct eye contact should be at least 30% of the time and no more than 70%, as is considered in psychology. If the level of contact is insufficient, the interlocutor may feel like the conversation is undesirable, and if it is too high, he may feel as if he is being “itched” with his eyes. Everything should have its own measure.

Also, the look should not be “strained”. During a neutral conversation, you need to look into your eyes the same way as you look at everything else around you.

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul,” as the well-known wisdom says, they can convey the current emotions and mood of the interlocutor, it is important to be able to “tune in” correctly, i.e. feel into the person’s state, which will improve contact, both verbal and non-verbal. This is especially important when you want to console someone or cheer them up in a difficult situation.

When making casual eye contact on the street, you should use your peripheral vision, i.e. look into the eyes, moving only the muscles of the eyeball, without turning your head. With tunnel vision, you can miss important details on the sides, and if you are too interested in eye contact, you can scare the other person.

How to react to this?

If a man looks intently into a woman's eyes, how should he react? Your behavior may not solve the situation in favor of what you would like. Therefore, do not behave too cheekily: no provocative movements, loud voice or vulgar jokes. Be patient and wait to see what he does next. At the same time, you don’t have to be too shy: look at him sometimes (no more than 4 seconds). After all, your gaze can scare him away (yes, men are so timid), and even more so, when you are counting on a serious relationship, you need to be a little restrained in your feelings at first.

If during a conversation a man looks intently into the eyes, respond in kind: let him know that you are a brave woman who is not afraid to meet a stranger halfway and open her eyes to him. But don’t succumb to his charm right away - who knows what’s in these men’s heads?

Source: www.syl.ru

What does the duration of eye contact indicate?

Types of nonverbal communication

Kinesthetics

Poses

Gestures

Facial expressions

Gait

Sight

Prosody and extralinguistics

Intonation

Volume

Timbre

Pause

Sigh

Laughter

Cry

Cough

Takeshika

Handshakes

Embrace

Patting

Kiss

Proxemics

Distance

Learning to look into the eyes

Visual acuity exercises

Let's watch without blinking

Exercises for the Penetrating Eye

Secrets that our pupils reveal about us

I'm interested in you

Are you flirting with me

I don't like you

I need to think seriously

My brain is completely overloaded

Brain damaged

I'm more liberal than conservative

Something hurts me

I did drugs

When talking, a person does not make eye contact, what does this mean?

When a teenager doesn't make eye contact

When an adult doesn't make eye contact

What to do if a person does not make eye contact?

Other reasons why a person avoids making eye contact

What is the look of a man in love?

What is the normal amount of eye contact?

Why can’t animals withstand a person’s direct gaze eye to eye for a long time???

Why does the man just stare?

What does it mean if a man makes eye contact?

What does the look of a man in love look like?

Relationships between partners

Don't trust your fleeting glance!

Eyes to eyes. The meaning of views

What is the norm?

Pupil.

Expanded.

Narrowed.

Note.

What does a girl's look mean? Fleeting, in your eyes, intent, and direct and long in your eyes?

If a man stares without looking up

When talking

Secretly

Passing by a woman

Classification of views

Duration of gaze

Nonverbal communication in different countries

"All OK!"

"Victory"

“Fingers to the temple”

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