Why a man doesn’t call a woman by name - a psychologist’s opinion

Does it matter what a man calls you?

It is a well-known fact that women love with their ears; for them it is important, pleasant and necessary to hear their name spoken through the lips of their lover. However, ladies are divided into two types: those who attach importance to this problem, and those who have the opposite attitude towards this issue. The first type of women was so concerned with finding the hidden meaning in the use of this or that nickname that psychology took up this task. Social surveys were conducted among representatives of the stronger sex, answering contradictory questions: “why doesn’t he say my name” and “why did the man suddenly start calling me by name?”

Note! Before studying the psychology of the fact that a man does not call a woman by name, it is recommended that the latter point out this misfortune to her partner so that he can explain himself.

In any case, it is worth remembering that there is always a way out. If the problem of using nicknames in a relationship is significant, both partners make efforts to develop new habits. Frequent grievances due to the fact that a guy or husband addresses his partner incorrectly will not turn out to be anything good, given that women do not always admit this. Whether it is important how a guy addresses a girl is up to her to decide. But the lady also chooses the way to react. It is advisable to have an adequate reaction, show patience and wisdom, so that there is a desire to develop relationships based on mutual trust.

Unpleasant associations with your name

Unpleasant associations are what is the key reason why a man does not call a woman by name. Every person has a past that leaves certain traces and wounds on the soul. As you know, love is sought not by age or name, but by feelings. It is much easier for a man to avoid contacting his wife than to spoil his relationship with her because of unpleasant associations from the past.

The husband is unlikely to admit that in his youth he had the same Masha or Natasha, who broke his heart and ruined his life. It’s simply more profitable for him to say that Sunshine or Darling suits you better, and the formalities will remain for strangers.

Screen for a despot

It is much easier for tyrants and despots to hide their intentions behind Mice, Cats and Bunnies than to call a loved one by name. Men are excellent manipulators, so it is difficult to consider such a despot in the early stages. But if there are a lot of affectionate words in his vocabulary, be prepared, because at any moment all the cards can be revealed.

If a man doesn't say the woman's name

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There are a number of reasons that describe a man’s reluctance to call his partner by her name:

  1. Manipulator, owner. These qualities are invisible at the beginning of an emerging relationship, but over time, a woman who responded to “darling,” “kitten,” “baby” will understand that they call her by name only when there is an unpleasant conversation ahead, and it will sound rude;
  2. Also, at the beginning of a relationship, many men are convinced that affectionate nicknames are a more suitable option for building strong relationships;
  3. On the other hand, this is the fact that the partner does not want or is not ready to move to a new stage of the relationship, to get closer, to turn a simple affair into a serious union;
  4. It also happens that a man subconsciously understands that the relationship that has begun is short-lived, which is why he deliberately “keeps his distance”;


A man keeps his partner at a distance

  1. An unpleasant option, but there is a possibility that the man is an ordinary womanizer who has several existing relationships, so he does not bother to remember the name of his partner, so as not to get confused;
  2. Probably the man doesn’t like the “melody” of the woman’s name, maybe he can’t pronounce it;
  3. One cannot do without associations in the form of former girlfriends or unpleasant namesake acquaintances, which a man cannot call his beloved, so he calls her “dear”, “dear”, etc.

Note! The reasons described above are just assumptions, so before you attribute tyranny or frivolity to your partner, you need to ask why he does not call the woman by name. It happens that he does not see the problem, and the fact that the girl is offended sincerely surprises him.

Main reasons

At appointments, psychologists often hear complaints that the husband often does not call his wife by name, but uses some nicknames and gestures to call her or draw attention to himself. Experts say that this problem is relevant for everyone; most men refuse to contact their wives in the traditional way due to one reason or another.

To understand why a guy doesn’t call a girl by name, you need to consider the issue from a psychological point of view. There are standard assumptions to pay attention to:

  1. The husband copies the attitude of his parents. If it is customary in a family to call each other Zaya or Kotik, but no one remembers their real names, a man develops this attitude on a subconscious level since childhood.
  2. Psychological barrier. The partner does not want to get close to the woman or let her into his life.
  3. Unsuccessful previous experience. If a woman’s name is like a guy’s ex-lover, he will choose more affectionate nicknames.
  4. A man doesn't like the name of his beloved. Such situations also happen. To avoid an uncomfortable situation, the young man completely abstracts himself from it, choosing diminutive nicknames.
  5. If the woman is not the only one in his life.

There are many reasons why a guy doesn't call a girl by name. It’s stupid to look for a catch all the time. It is normal if your husband continues to address you using the names of animals or calling you the Sun, Beloved. For most modern couples, this attitude is considered acceptable, so it is undesirable to worry and suspect a man once again.

At the beginning of a relationship

When building a relationship with a girl, many guys at the first stages call their companions by name, avoiding affectionate addresses. This is fine. But sometimes there are times when it is difficult for a man to address a girl this way. There are several psychological reasons for this problem:

  1. It's hard to remember your name.
  2. Too difficult to pronounce.
  3. For a person, relationships are temporary.
  4. The spouse attaches little importance to the name.
  5. Indifferent to the girl's name.
  6. He believes that it is easier to call his beloved by cute nicknames.

If the restriction occurs only at the beginning of the relationship, it is too early to sound the alarm. But when you're seriously worried about a situation, just ask your guy why this is happening. You will get an answer if you really care about this person.

Many people pay increased attention to the problem, but this is wrong. It doesn’t matter how your loved one addresses you: by name or affectionate nickname. The main thing is that care and love are manifested in attitude, understanding, and feelings.

Many years later

After a few years of living together, feelings become stronger, and relationships change a little. A man may simply be tired of his wife's name, so he will want to add some variety to it. This is where Cats, Bunnies, Babies, Marmalades and other nicknames come from.

It’s stupid to think that after years a man stops loving you, loses respect, and therefore selects a standard set of nicknames with which all women can be associated. Psychologists say that sometimes all these words mean much more to a husband than his name. Many girls, when they come to see a psychologist, confirm the fact that after a certain period of family life they even prefer to hear from their beloved Kitty or Sunny. This is where love manifests itself for many.

Why do men call by name?

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Predictions say that the partner has serious intentions, the result of which will be entering into a legal relationship with the chosen one. However, it may also be a matter of ordinary habit, as well as the upbringing of an individual. If a man was raised by parents with a special family structure, the person may not have a living example of affectionate addresses or diminutive nicknames. Moreover, there are families in which discipline is stronger than subordination in the office, when people address each other formally, even as “you.”

Way out

The psychology of men is a complex science; trying to understand it on your own is simply impossible. Psychologists say that if a man calls his chosen one by name, it means that she is really dear to him, he wants to build a future with her. If this is not the case in your family, and you are trying to retrain your husband to contact you, then you should get acquainted with useful tips on this matter:

  1. When a man says to you: “Hare, where are you?”, answer him: “Hares are in the field, and I’m Vika.” Just do it in a humorous way so that the chosen one cannot take it as a remark. Sooner or later he will involuntarily change his habits.
  2. When your chosen one has a certain psychological barrier, just give him time to correct and change everything. There is no need to apply psychological pressure, since this will not achieve results.
  3. If a man avoids saying his name because he doesn't like it, show him that you like it that way. When your spouse loves you, he will change his mind.
  4. If you're not impressed by pet names, make that clear early in the relationship. There will be no problems with this in the future.

You can get out of any situation if you give it meaning, talk with your partner, find answers to all questions. There is no need to create scandals and quarrels because you are called affectionate nicknames. But sometimes this can also be quite cute, especially if the nickname is unique and describes only you.

Source: love-is.org

In what cases can you be called by your middle name?

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A masculine act, when even in correspondence a guy addresses his partner not “Marina”, but “Sunny” or replaces nicknames with pronouns, we will correct it. If a young man does not call a girl by name, psychology suggests the following:

  1. First of all, directly describe your feelings about this, even if it causes confusion;
  2. If this is difficult, then develop a habit through play. If a partner addresses a girl with a diminutive nickname, or even worse, with the words “Listen”, “Come here”, “Hey”, do not respond until he uses the correct option, or jokingly ask “why do you need Hey, u?” I am you, Diana";
  3. They also arrange a “smooth transition”, instead of a gentle “hare” they say a slightly more strict one using the surname and (or) patronymic - “Alexei Ivanovich, your daughter is calling you,” “Belchonok Viktorovich, I need you in the kitchen.” It is assumed that over time you will want to avoid such treatment and will have to learn to call your beloved by name.


You can laugh at nicknames

Calling each other by last name, first name and patronymic is rather a comic phenomenon that does not have a mocking connotation. Although even this can “stick” stronger than “kitty” and “dove”.

He's a hidden tyrant

Yes, unfortunately this is true. If at the initial stage of the relationship, except for “bunny”, “pussy” and other similar words, you do not hear your name, then you should not start a deep relationship with such a man.

After some time, when he gets closer to you, you will begin to notice how he will begin to manipulate you, swear, show aggression, and constantly pick on your brains. By any means he will try to make you exactly what he needs, but not you.

2. A man doesn’t want to get close

Yes, he doesn’t say your name because he wants to put up some kind of barrier. Even words such as “Listen”, “You”, etc. can be used. And these people are not always strangers; it has also happened that this happens in married couples.

In this case, you can simply say that you are not pleased when they address you like that. And remind you what your name is after all. We wouldn’t recommend starting a scandal, but we can definitely talk.

Another option in this situation is that the man understands that your relationship will not last long. Therefore, even subconsciously, calling you by name, he does not want to somehow connect you. In short, simply put, “ womanizer”

". But this situation is only possible when people are still starting a relationship

Source: zen.yandex.ru

Psychologist's opinion on the way to approach a woman

When asked why a man does not call a woman by name, the psychologist’s opinion is comforting - perhaps the partner does not understand that such treatment is problematic. The science of man is inclined to believe that a name pronounced in a beloved voice with notes of tenderness has a strong positive impact on a partner, which is why it is so important.

Why doesn't the husband call his wife by name? The opinion of a psychologist answers this, especially if everything was fine before. Most likely, he puts up a so-called barrier that excludes the use of affectionate nicknames, addressing his wife with “listen”, “you know”, etc. The husband withdraws, and the reasons for this should be found out as quickly as possible in order to maintain peace in the family .

Note! The woman herself chooses whether to pay attention to such changes or leave it as is. On the one hand, this may be a signal of an emerging problem, on the other hand - a new unconscious habit.

Calling by name in a beginning or established relationship can have a special meaning. If a man hesitates for a long time to call his beloved by name, he probably does not believe in the relationship. Although it may have something to do with his upbringing. When looking for reasons why a man does not call a woman by name, you should rely on the duration of the relationship, character, habits and even the common interests of the couple.

What the subconscious hides

In the male subconscious, a lot of information has been stored since childhood or adolescence. For example, if a guy had an unrequited, unhappy love, and the girl’s name was the same as his current wife, then problems may arise with the pronunciation of this name. Of course, many years have passed since that time, the feelings are left behind, the wounds are healed. But the subconscious remembers everything! Many men may avoid their name without even thinking about why this is happening.

It’s stupid to blame your husband, just try to figure out what is the reason for this behavior.

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