How to recognize your husband's cheating?

According to statistics, every third man cheated on his chosen one or at least thought about it. Knowing this disappointing fact, very jealous wives eventually turn into paranoids. If you want to sleep peacefully and be confident in the fidelity of your betrothed, it is not at all necessary to hire a detective or monitor him yourself. It is enough just to take a closer look at his behavior at home.

Of course, you should not make hasty conclusions based on new words that your husband began to use, or gestures that had not previously been noticed. But there are several common mistakes that guilty men make without noticing it. They are the ones who will help you determine your husband’s infidelity, as well as prove or disprove these suspicions.

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How to check your husband's infidelity at home

In matters of family relationships, women are often guided by their own intuition. If she persistently tells you about cheating, you should pay attention to this. Take a closer look at your husband's daily behavior, trying not to arouse suspicion. It is better to spend a little time looking for answers than to sit around and come up with excuses for your loved one and torment yourself at the same time. There are several ways that will help you with a little investigation to understand whether your husband is cheating:

Pay attention to the financial situation in your family. The husband works every day, stays at work all night, it is logical that his income should increase. But if there is no more money in your wallet, it disappears in an unknown direction - this is a reason to think. If most of your finances are stored on a bank card, you can study your payment history. Have you noticed that your loved one made a purchase for a large amount without your knowledge, but you never received a fur coat as a gift? Perhaps your husband is really cheating on you. There are a few more things worth checking.
A common mistake that many men don’t pay attention to is traces of lipstick, foundation, or the smell of their mistress’s perfume . While your beloved is busy in the shower, you have the opportunity to quietly examine the contents of his pockets. You may find a receipt from a lingerie store that was not intended for you. Or tickets to the cinema, theater, circus.
Your family car can serve as a place for fleeting dates . Pay attention to every corner of the car interior. There may be forgotten condoms, items of underwear or hair of the chosen one. If your husband has a separate car and you suspect him of cheating, first of all you need to check it.
Pay attention to your man. Perhaps on his body you will find traces of a stormy night (scratches, bites) . To avoid arousing suspicion, offer your loved one a relaxing massage or a shared shower.
If the above methods do not produce results, take a closer look at how your husband behaves in bed . You might think about cheating if your partner uses new tricks or words. True, do not confuse attempts to add variety with actual betrayal.

The fastest way to find out everything about your chosen one is to check his phone. Of course, you won’t find your rival’s name in the phone book. Most likely it will be signed as “Vadik - STO”, but it is from this number that calls are most often made and SMS are sent. Checking a modern man's gadget is not always easy. It may be locked with a password and it is far from the date of your first kiss. On the other hand, why would he block his phone if he has no secrets from you? But no one canceled personal space either. Poking through your phone to check if your husband is cheating is extremely low behavior, but if your happiness depends on it, it’s up to you to decide.

The most striking signs of male infidelity

Which methods are doomed to fail from the start?

A woman's fantasy, fueled by jealousy, has no boundaries. Therefore, women are constantly coming up with new ways to test a man for jealousy. At the same time, there are several initially disastrous options that not only will not help strengthen the relationship, but will completely destroy it. These methods include:

persistent calls and the desire to constantly monitor every step of the partner;
an abrupt cessation of communication in the hope that the guy will come to his senses and understand what he is losing. In such cases, men perceive their partner’s actions as a desire to end the relationship or as evidence that they have found another love;
making inquiries about the whereabouts, plans and capabilities of a loved one from those around him - friends, relatives, colleagues.

In any case, you need to understand that healthy harmonious relationships do not need testing. Love, respect and trust for each other initially reign there. If doubts about your partner’s fidelity begin to creep in, and you begin to notice that you are turning into a notoriously jealous person, you need to immediately think about whether this person is really that valuable to you and what he can give you in the future. Based on this, draw your conclusions, love and be loved, change yourself and help your partner - build your love together, where there is no place for betrayal and deception.

The most striking signs of male infidelity

It is very easy to identify the signs of an unfaithful husband, you just have to pay attention to the little things. It is in minor changes that at first glance seem commonplace that the answers to questions are hidden.

Of course, if your chosen one stumbles once at a party or on a business trip, it will be much more difficult to convict him of this. But even in this case, over time, he will not be able to withstand internal remorse (if she is not sleeping) and will definitely show himself. And perhaps he himself will tell about his mistake.

If you have not received a revelation, but are completely sure that your husband is hiding something and cheating on you, there are several points that are worth paying attention to. Most often these are small changes in his behavior that at first glance do not seem suspicious. They can be called non-verbal signs that the husband is cheating or is going to the left, so to speak.

Among the most common signs are the following:

Sudden changes in appearance and behavior. When a person is in love, it is very difficult to hide. The new hairstyle and cologne can still be explained. But in order to hide the sparkles in the eyes and the excited state, self-control is needed. If a man suddenly got new shirts, changed his toilet water and did his hair in the latest fashion, but all these efforts are not for your sake - this is a serious reason for suspicion. It is also surprising that after a hard day at work, he comes home happy and in high spirits. Although he himself claims that the boss is a beast, he forces me to work more than necessary.
A change in relation to you is a signal to check whether your husband is cheating on you. You should be concerned if a man suddenly changes his behavior and attitude towards you. If your chosen one cheated once, he will feel a sense of shame. That is why he will try to make amends with expensive gifts, excessive attention, and compliments. Perhaps even in your intimate life a pleasant surprise awaits you. Unfortunately, if a man cheats on you regularly, the signs of attention occur due to his euphoric state of love for another. But it happens that the situation takes a completely different turn. Your loved one suddenly began to criticize you in everything. You cook wrong, dress and put on makeup wrong. Of course, in comparison with his ideal chosen one. If you want to remain a winner, but it is not possible to prove treason, you will have to support this game. Change your wardrobe, sign up for a fitness center and a beauty salon. Talk to him about his favorite topics, watch football together. This way he will have fewer reasons to spoil the mood, and you will get additional time to search for evidence.
Lack of sex. If your chosen one is not a sexual giant, he will not have enough strength to satisfy the desires of two ladies at the same time. Since now it is more important for him to please his new chosen one in bed, there will be excuses for all your proposals. Of course, we cannot exclude cases when a partner is sick or too tired at work. But when a similar situation occurs regularly, this already rings a huge bell.
Lack of a partner in family life. He stopped showing interest in any problems concerning your couple. All responsibilities smoothly passed onto your fragile shoulders, and he increasingly runs away to work or goes on long business trips.
Doesn't take you anywhere. You don’t know his social circle, you don’t have mutual friends, and even going for a walk in the park together is torture for him. And this is not surprising, because he has someone to spend his free time on.

You should also be wary of aggressive behavior for no reason. Your husband gets irritated over trifles, hides his phone from you, and leaves the room when someone calls “for work.” On the other hand, if you suspect a man of cheating, this will affect you, i.e. you yourself will be hostile to any little things. Therefore, in order to find out whether your husband is cheating, you need a “cool head” and common sense.

How to check your husband for cheating?

Surveillance

When there are several significant pieces of evidence in hand, but “not caught, not a thief,” then more serious measures should be taken. How to check if your husband is cheating and get a guaranteed result? It is enough to organize surveillance of your husband. Do it yourself, ask a friend, or hire a detective.

Blend into your surroundings and watch.

Come home early

Leave the apartment under any pretext (if you have children, then leave with them, supposedly you went to visit your grandmother). Say that you are leaving for a few days, and return home the next day, preferably in the evening, when there is a high probability of catching lovers in bed.

Visit him at work

It is advisable to arrive at lunchtime to see who hubby is spending his free time with after work. The main thing is not to ask the employees about your husband, otherwise they may warn him about your visit. If it is not possible to enter the work area, wait nearby. Maybe the husband is leaving for dinner at some establishment, and not alone, but accompanied by a dazzling beauty colleague.

Send a friend

To check your husband's weakness for the female sex, you can send a friend whom your husband has never seen before. Let her try to flirt with him, make an acquaintance, write on social networks. Observe your spouse's reaction.

All in

There are two types of traitors:

the first are those who are afraid that they will be discovered, so they have prepared a thousand excuses for any case;
the second - who, when a serious conversation with their wife is brewing, would prefer to confess everything and ease their souls than to fuss and make up things.

Any of these two types can be provoked into confession, but the main thing is not to provide the person with any additional information. If you tell your husband, “Today I saw you with another woman,” or “My friend saw you with another woman,” and the man has never met his mistress in public, he will understand that you are trying to catch him.

It’s better to say this: “Well, tell me who she is? How long do you meet?" or “You know, today an owl on my tail brought me the news that you have a mistress. Do you have an answer to this?” Even if your husband immediately rushes to assure you that your judgment is wrong, everything can be clarified by his first reaction. What did he do? Scared? Frowning? Did you laugh? Surprised or outraged? Let a completely logical answer follow, which should reassure you, but the reaction will never deceive you.

Checking your partner for cheating: some practical tips

You don't have to pretend to be Agatha Christie to prove cheating. It’s enough to use little tricks and watch your partner’s reaction. Sooner or later, even an experienced Casanova makes a mistake. All you have to do is wait.

Secret correspondence

If your partner flinches from calls, goes to talk in another room, and in front of you answers with quick, short phrases, this cannot but be alarming. Perhaps you will find answers to your questions in your loved one’s phone. Modern gadgets allow you to find out most of the information about the owner. You will find regular calls and messages to the same number, perhaps even photos.

You should also study conversations on social media. You can create a fake account and write to your husband as a stranger who wants to get to know him better. The reaction will speak for itself.

Having found a suspicious number, you can immediately easily check whether it is really “Kolya - laptop repair”. Just dial the phone numbers from another SIM card and listen to the voice. Most likely, your rival will answer, provided that her husband is really cheating. A little higher we briefly mentioned the ethics of this act.

Friends and relatives

The behavior of close relatives and friends can also tell a lot. If someone knows about your husband’s adventures behind your back, they will involuntarily begin to feel sorry for you and show excessive attention.

It happens differently. He may have a new company that you are not familiar with. The most unpleasant moment for you is that he is not going to fix it. He will relax with them at the dacha, watch football in a sports bar, and go fishing. And they will be the ones who will know the details of his personal life. Perhaps he will even introduce his mistress to new friends.

Determining your husband's infidelity by testicles

Oddly enough, this method can also reveal the truth to you. You need to follow your husband in the bathroom if you suspect that he was not late at all for a meeting. If your partner has recently had sexual intercourse, you will see this by the appearance of the testicles. If they do not float, but lie like a weight on his body, this most likely indicates that there was sex. But you shouldn’t blindly believe this theory and throw accusations at your husband. By the way, looking at his “places” can amuse him and you.

Regular mention of a specific woman

If a man is madly in love with a specific person, he will talk about her regularly. Without even realizing that he is doing this in front of you. If you hear the same name from him for several days, perhaps she has captured his heart.

Changing musical tastes and favorite films

Of course, everyone can listen to absolutely any tracks and watch all genres of films. But if your lover of hard rock and horror stories suddenly turned on a romantic comedy, and the playlist was replaced by gentle romances, you should pay attention to this. Perhaps they are the ones who remind him of your rival. Or is it her taste preferences that he happily supports.

Working on weekends and reducing income

Using work as an alibi is a classic of male infidelity. Of course, we shouldn’t exclude the fact that everyone can have rubble in their office. But if this happens regularly and continues even on weekends, you may need to worry. It is not at all logical if at the same time your family budget is not replenished and even emptied before your eyes.

Don't rush to conclusions that your husband is cheating

Don't rush to conclusions

There is no need to start a showdown if you find one of the above signs in your husband. It could just be a coincidence and your husband will be as clean as a glass. Anyone can change their taste, have problems at work, or want to do something nice for you just because. Before you panic and start a scandal, try to calmly look at the situation from the outside.

And one more thing... You shouldn’t share your suspicions with your friends that your husband is cheating on you

It’s stupid to throw accusations at your husband if he was late at the office once, refused sex, or made a large purchase without your consent. Having discovered one or two signs, you cannot say that your loved one has found a replacement for you. You can take decisive action only when you have enough evidence, coincidences and arguments to prove that you are right and not look like a jealous hysteric.

Why men cheat

Most often, for men, the concept of family fidelity has a double morality - men can do it, but women can’t. Why then can he afford to spend time with another woman, but does not leave his wife? It’s just that the reason for cheating is not always dissatisfaction with one’s chosen one. Perhaps in fact the marriage is ideal and suits both parties.

The most common reasons for male infidelity:

Commitment to diversity. Men love to be attracted and entertained. If everything in the family is monotonous and calm, they themselves seek consolation for themselves. Most often, in other ways. Especially when in intimate life everything is the same or not at all.
Increased sexual need. This is about those people for whom love and sex are not connected. As a rule, they love their spouse very much, but will never refuse a night with a work colleague or long-time acquaintance.
Feelings for someone else. The classic situation is when a man simply falls in love with another woman. She will have all the attention, time, gifts. But he is unlikely to leave his family even in such a situation.
Random circumstances. One of the most common mistakes, which usually happens once. For a man, cheating while drunk is not even considered a reason for a quarrel, much less a divorce.
Revenge. This is how a man defends his rightness and independence. The banal reason is revenge on his wife for betrayal or public humiliation.
Self-affirmation. Typically, representatives of the stronger sex who have not been able to achieve great success in their careers, please their vanity with the number of sexual victories. According to statistics, the better a man does at work, the less he is drawn to the side.
Argument with friends. Everyone knows that in men's companies there is always excitement and a penchant for adventurism. He simply cannot live in peace if someone consciously demonstrates their independence, freedom of action and willingness to conquer new heights. You must show your friends that no matter how many years you have been married, you can turn any lady’s head.
Women's perseverance. As you know, for every ten girls there are nine guys, according to statistics. Modern unmarried girls easily enter into sexual relationships with married men, since single men have already been taken apart. As a rule, men are easily led into provocations, fearing to offend a lady or, even worse, to appear incompetent.

There are other reasons for cheating that are much less common. Even if the culprit is a wife who has gained a couple of extra pounds, does not know how to cook, or refuses bed too often, it rarely comes to divorce. In most cases, it is a matter of habit or the presence of small children together.

What to do if your husband cheats?

Some statistics

Scientists conducted a large-scale study to find out what percentage of men cheat on their wives. The results were not very encouraging. Thus, it turned out that about 74% of Russian men in an official or civil marriage have at least once entered into intimate relationships on the side, and 40% do this regularly. Experts also came to the conclusion that on average such novels last about three months. During this time, the adulterer enters into intimate relationships with his new partner approximately 7-10 times. However, every fourth husband cheats on his wife for much longer. Their romances can last from one year to several years. Most often, over many years of marriage, men experience several similar relationships.

In addition, experts have concluded that cheating is becoming less and less common among spouses. If 40 years ago this situation was perceived by women as a terrible tragedy and in most cases ended in divorce, today many spouses are trying to solve such problems together and trying to save the family.

What to do next?

If you still managed to collect enough evidence and become convinced that your husband is deceiving you, you will experience mixed feelings. Many questions immediately arise in my head. But you need to calm down and, without unnecessary emotions, decide what to do with the information received. First of all, you should talk frankly with your husband. Only you must use ironclad arguments and evidence. The key phrase is “talk”, not “scream”.

There is no need to attack your spouse with shouts and accusations. Give him a chance to honestly admit everything, tell him about the facts that made you doubt his fidelity. If you start a dialogue with aggression, you will receive it in return. The husband will simply close himself off from you, say that you made it all up, and also buy time to come up with an excuse.

Let him name the specific reason that prompted him to take this step. You must solve the problem together in a calm environment. Act wisely. Understand that a man goes outside in search of what his wife could not give him. If you love each other, together you can save your marriage.

We updated this article on December 21, 2021.