Getting rejected is a normal part of dating that everyone experiences at some point. While you may feel incredibly hurt or embarrassed after this happens, there are a number of things you can do to overcome your rejection and get back into the dating game. So, what should you do if a girl refuses?
Deal with Rejection3
In most cases, romantic rejection is not a criticism of your character. If a girl decides she doesn't want to date you, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you or finds you unattractive.
There is no need to immediately search the Internet in search of an answer to the question “what to do if a girl refuses.” Don't do anything. That's it. Do not call. Do not write. Don't ask what you did wrong. Don't talk to her friends or family, and for the love of God, don't write a vague, suggestive message about her on Facebook or Instagram and hope she sees it.
Because she will almost certainly interpret this as a desperate sign that you can't get over this rejection. Girls, whether they admit it or not, hate the feeling of men being too attached to them.
Also, remember that there are many reasons why she might say no that have nothing to do with you, such as: she's too busy to date; she has a different sexual orientation; she is working on personal or emotional problems; she already has a soul mate; she likes to be alone.
Be kind to your crush, even if you feel awkward. If she's someone you see often, then it's normal to feel a little awkward after rejection. Over time, you will cool down and your normal friendship may resume. Until then, try to be as polite to her as you can.
How to get a girl's affection
Change, work on yourself to gain the favor of your chosen one
Demonstrate your masculinity, strength, maturity, independence. Perhaps, looking at you from a new perspective, the girl will change her decision.
- First of all, it is necessary to find out exactly why the girl refused. If you are able to somehow influence the young lady’s decision, make a clear plan, following which you will be able to get your chosen one.
- Make new attempts to spend time together with your girl, for example, by inviting her to a cafe or on a picnic.
- Try to make friends with her surroundings. If you manage to make a good impression on the friends of the young lady you like, perhaps they will be able to put in a good word for you.
- Let the incident unfold gradually. After all, it is possible that over time the girl will awaken an interest in you, and even if you are currently in the friend zone, after some time you will be able to turn from a comrade into a beloved guy.
- Engage in self-development, lead an active lifestyle. Perhaps these changes in your personality and appearance will interest the object of your adoration.
- Sometimes, in order for the young lady to understand that she has made a mistake, you need to move away for a while, so that the girl feels how much she misses your presence, courtship, and expression of interest.
If you understand that you have a chance of success, then you need to be patient and gradually act towards your intended goal. If you understand that the girl is not interested in you at all, then it is better to retreat.
Refusal is a reason to increase self-esteem4
Guys often become depressed and give up after girls refuse simply because they have low self-esteem. Refusal can become an impetus both for the development of self-doubt and for raising self-esteem. Everyone chooses what they like.
The most useful thing is to analyze your own mistakes. It is better to focus your energy on thinking about the wrong actions you have taken, so as not to repeat them in the future. There is a type of people who strive with all their might to achieve a certain goal, but as soon as they do not achieve it, they become desperate. A guy who knows how to lose won't waste his time bemoaning rejection, but rather will try again. And the one who does not know how to lose will waste all his energy on complaints and whining, often setting barriers for himself that do not allow him to act further.
Obviously, any whining person who gives up after failing to achieve what they want simply does not know how to lose with dignity. In this case, it is not even possible to call it a defeat, because life does not take away a person’s chance to try again to achieve the goal. However, loss comes when a person stops, does not analyze his mistakes and thoughts, and gives up. It is as if he gives in to difficulties, submits to them, and does not think about his erroneous actions and does not look for paths that could lead him to his desired goal.
Loss or future gain?
How do people react to failures in their lives? It's a pity that at some point you failed and lost what was valuable to you. Many people begin to grieve for what they have lost: “I am always unlucky. And this time I lost.” But let's think about it: did you lose or were you on the path to winning?
At the moment of failure, collapse, or loss of something valuable, a person does not get what he wants. Depending on the person’s attitude to what is happening, he wins or loses. How do you make a loss out of failure? You give up, engage in self-flagellation, try to find someone to blame for your troubles, cry, decide to no longer do what you failed at. Remember the cases when people break off a love relationship due to hostility and misunderstanding, after which each side draws conclusions: “I will never again date someone who can contradict me,” “It’s better to be lonely than to end up in…”, etc. d.
In other words, you are often willing to give up on something you failed at and never go back to it.
How do people turn failure into future gain? Now you have lost, failed, lost something valuable. But you still have experience - how not to make sure that what was valuable does not leave you again? There are people who search for those to blame, saying that it is not they, but those around them who are guilty of something. But successful people try to find their mistakes in what happened. Knowing what you did wrong will help you avoid doing the same thing again when you return to the activity at which you have failed.
You lost, but you also won, because now you have experience - what not to do in the future, how to behave so as not to suffer the same collapse again?
Who do you think will be a good family man: the one who has never been married before, or the one who has already been in it once? We can say that an experienced family man understands more about married life than someone who has never been a husband to someone. A former married person has experience in leading a family life, the person knows his shortcomings, understands what he wants to have in the future, and now, if he enters into a marriage union again, it will not be because of his youth and not because he has never been a spouse, but because of a real desire to do it. A man who was once married and a woman who was previously married are much more valuable than those who have not yet lived under the same roof with anyone. These people have experience, understanding and a willingness to get along with partners. This cannot be said about those who only have their head in the clouds regarding family life.
The value comes from those who already have experience of failure in the area in which you have teamed up. Of particular value are people who have not only experienced success or failure, but also come to conclusions about what they did wrong. If a person feels like a loser and blames other people for failures, then he has not learned any lessons or drawn any conclusions. It is better to refuse such a partnership. But a person who not only has experience in the area in which you agree is valuable, but also has analyzed the mistakes that he has made.
Life goes on5
If a girl decides you're not right for her, you can look at it as an experience rather than a reason to sit in your room writing existential poetry and wondering, "What's wrong with me?"
So stop lying around and put away the Nicholas Sparks movies you were planning to watch.
Yes, you were rejected, and that's not a bad thing! Look around you: there's a whole world out there for you to conquer, so go and transform yourself like Tony Stark building a stronger Iron Man after his old one was torn to pieces.
Do what interests you. If that's not enough to distract you, try setting a personal goal. The busier you are, the easier it will be for you to cope with rejection.
Rejection is a chance to rebuild and make yourself even more whole and complete for the next girl who comes your way.
For what reasons does a girl refuse to date?
To deal with this problem, start playing by the girl’s rules. Tell your beloved that you understand her perfectly, talk to her very frankly. As a result, you will definitely find out the main reasons. They can be very diverse:
- The girl recently broke up with another man, and therefore cannot forget this relationship.
- The girl does not want to rush or rush into a new relationship.
- Your loved one considers you a good friend (for now).
- She is afraid of being disappointed in the relationship again.
- The girl simply does not want to date any man.
There can be many reasons for a girl to refuse.
Whatever answer you receive, think about it, check it if possible. Watch your beloved, talk to your friends and acquaintances, listen to what exactly other people are saying about the girl. Do not attack her right away, because there is a chance that the girl will actually want to start a relationship with you in the future, but this may happen a little later.
The girl just doesn't want to date any man
A girl may tell you that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all. There can be 2 main scenarios here:
- She loves women (this happens, but very rarely).
- She is deceiving both you and herself.
The second reason is considered more preferable. If your beloved claims that she does not need a relationship, then she wants to appear in your eyes as an independent woman, very strong. Also, a girl can deceive you so that you suffer or she is simply harmful.
The girl doesn't want a relationship
If in such a situation the girl allows you to touch her, you are connected by kisses and intimate relations, then you could find a cat that loves solitude. This picture may suit many people. However, the complexity of the current situation lies in the following - such a lady, in addition to you, may have several admirers, like the famous empress.
Beloved cannot be in a relationship
Sometimes the phrase “I don’t want” becomes the phrase “I can’t.” In such a situation, there may be several reasons, for example, study, health, family problems, and so on.
As a rule, such an answer is considered just an excuse. Because even diligent students and very busy ladies give up their own affairs, devoting themselves to their loved one. But, if a lady blames everything solely on circumstances, then she definitely doesn’t need you, she just doesn’t want to hurt you.
This theory can also be true if significant circumstances are present. For example, a girl is much younger or poorer than you. In such a situation, of course, some kind of obstacle may arise in front of the relationship.
Own benefit
Often a girl claims that she does not want a relationship where the guy is only a “slave” for her. She only refuses to have a relationship with you for a while. However, you can still communicate with her, help with work or study, and so on.
Meetings can be just for profit
Perhaps the time will come and she will want to have a relationship, but it will not be you. You still continue to help her, but at the same time you are jealous. This effect is commonly called the “friend zone”. Don’t let this situation start, otherwise you won’t succeed in your personal life.
The problem is you
If you are faced with such a situation, do not scold your loved one. Look for the problem only in yourself. Maybe you weren’t able to prove yourself as a potential partner, you didn’t prove to the girl that you can be completely different.
Most likely you are a very complex or, on the contrary, simple person, and this turned the girl off. Sometimes women are put off by being too serious. Because not every lady dreams of a fast-paced serious relationship. Every lady dreams of romance, flirting and so on.
The problem may lie with your partner.
Pay your attention to what style of clothing the girl prefers, what she is interested in, what kind of character she has. Men often make many mistakes, and therefore ladies do not like them. As a result, they also wonder why the girl refuses the relationship.
Whatever the situation with you, try to carefully understand the problem, do not get angry and do not make hasty decisions. You just have to understand why exactly everything happened this way.
What to do if a girl refuses: recommendations
- Many ladies claim that they don’t need a serious relationship if they really don’t care about a man. Since it is impossible to make one person love another, then do not waste your own energy, free time and finances in vain on a lady who does not reciprocate your feelings. Try to find yourself a new object of adoration.
- Often those ladies who were disappointed in them in the past do not want a serious relationship. Therefore, do not put pressure on the girl, do not force her to go out with you and meet. Let these feelings pass on their own.
Don't put pressure on the girl
- In order to change a girl’s attitude towards herself, first change yourself. A successful job, a successful hobby and successful friends - this is all you need first of all. After this, your beloved will understand how wrong she was.
- And most importantly, if a lady refuses you, perhaps she already has a boyfriend or is secretly in love with another man.
Doesn't want to, but doesn't let go
Among the motives for this behavior, the following possible options can be identified:
- You are a great friend. Friendship between a guy and a girl is possible if one of them loves the other, psychologists say. By the way, in such a situation, it is easiest for guys to break out of the list of friends and achieve love. The fan knows everything about the friend, understands her perfectly, they spend a lot of time together.
- She likes you, but she thinks that you are not yet ripe for a serious relationship. The girl waits for the guy to start behaving like a real man, tells him the right decisions, and raises a husband for herself in the future.
- There is sympathy, but it is not love. The girl is waiting for feelings to flare up. He is afraid to let the guy go, because it will be much more difficult to return the admirer. She prefers to be friends, communicate a lot, tries to fall in love with him. This scenario is possible in relationships with older women or experienced, calculating girls.
You can achieve reciprocity and set up a girl for a relationship like this:
- Reveal your feelings to your beloved. You will have to have a serious conversation about the fact that friendly flirting does not suit you, you want more. But be prepared to receive a specific answer: yes or no. If a girl refuses to get closer, it is better to break up or come to terms with the situation of a friend for a long time.
- Show your strength, masculinity and maturity. Do serious things, keep promises, treat love and relationships like adults, stop flirting with other girls.
- Accustom the girl to you gradually. Make it so that she can’t live without you: introduce her to friends, parents, be always there. Hint to others that there is love between you, advertise your feelings.
- Alternate between lulls in communication and frequent meetings and correspondence. The girl should feel sadness, longing without the guy’s attention, miss her. Loneliness helps you understand yourself and your desires.
What to do
Here are some effective methods to correct the situation:
- Serious conversation. We definitely need to talk. Do not hint, but ask direct questions, demand a clear answer. Tell him that you can’t be played with, you’re tired of the uncertainty. If a girl needs a break to think about the future, her behavior, analysis of feelings and desires, do not be afraid to give her a couple of days for this.
- Move away from each other. Stop running after her, trying to achieve a reciprocal feeling. The guy's distance and his coldness will help the girl understand how dear the guy is to her. If she doesn’t want to stop communicating, she will take the initiative herself. All you have to do is demand a specific answer to the proposal to meet.
- Take care of yourself, develop physically and spiritually. Promising young men attract girls more than tired losers.
- Connect tactile sensations. If a girl is not excited by romantic dates in a friendly format, use hugs, light touches on the palms, waist, and knees.
What not to do:
- Intrude and beg to start dating as a couple. Be strong and courageous, it is better to break up with the beauty who did not see your soul mate, and quickly find another.
- Continue to seek love if the girl honestly admitted that she is playing with your feelings.
- Swear, insult the girl, make cruel jokes about her on social networks and troll after refusal.
