What to do if a girl is lying: reasons for constant lying

The most common reason for women's lies is an attempt to hide their betrayal. How can you tell if your girlfriend is lying? Often this is not so easy to do: the girls are excellent actresses and skillfully dodge. Put aside your emotions and look at the situation without the influence of hormones: the article describes in detail the signs and ways to recognize a lie. All that remains is to apply this knowledge in practice. If you want to become a master of relationships with a girl, then check out my online courses on self-development and seduction!

Why do you come across lying girls?

I haven’t wondered why some guys are lucky with girls, while others always come across bitches. At the same time, initially it seems that the girl is good and decent, but then she goes to great lengths. The reason is usually the man's low self-esteem. It seems to him that the girl is the ultimate dream and he is unworthy of her. The woman feels this and begins to sit on her neck, but the man does not understand the moment when it is time to put her down. He allows himself to be treated with disdain and lies. Although there are girls who, in principle, do not recognize honest relationships, they will not get involved with tough and specific men who know their worth. Why? It's simple, because the girl won't be able to take advantage of such a guy, which means the relationship will be unprofitable for her.

Why does a woman resort to deception?

There are several main motives for deception, including even treason:

Permanent limitation. In families where a woman, at the insistence of a man, does not work and is only involved in housekeeping, this is most likely to occur with children. She is often very limited in communication. It consists of exchanging short phrases with neighbors, store clerks during shopping trips, and children (if you have any).

As a rule, the husband naturally forbids inviting friends, much less going out with them somewhere. Money is also issued against payment. Such constant psychological pressure and total control greatly affects the state of balance within her.

How then does such a woman act? First of all, he begins to come up with stories to explain where the money was spent. After all, no one canceled her right to want to be beautiful and buy cosmetics, new outfits, and attend salon treatments for this.

The same applies to the reasons for leaving home. She should at least sometimes communicate with like-minded people. For such seemingly harmless actions, the weaker sex resorts to lies. If a man finds out the truth, a scandal cannot be avoided. Another group of reasons for deception:

• feeling of inner loneliness and emptiness. Often because of this, even respected married women may set out to find someone who will become not only her lover, but also a person who is able to listen and understand, give advice, and help solve a number of problems;
• It is no less important for her to feel her importance, her willingness to sacrifice her interests to please her;
• Often women commit treason, and then deceive when they want to do it to spite their boyfriend, who has already committed treason. Of course, you won’t be able to achieve moral satisfaction here, but you can stroke your pride;
• The relationship or marriage has reached the point where spending time together is already a burden. In this case, the woman resorts to deception so as not to burden herself with unnecessary company. She finds a reason to leave the house or invite someone. It happens that he takes risks by committing treason, and then tries to hide it.

There are enough reasons for women to deceive. How can she give herself away? What mistakes does he make?

Ways to catch her lying

Even if she knows how to lie and does it convincingly, this does not mean that it is impossible to bring the girl to clean water. Here are 3 ways to find out the truth:

1. Make an unexpected call. For example, she said in the evening that she would be at home and had a lot to do. An unexpected call or even a visit will help you catch a girl red-handed. Come up with a good excuse for an urgent meeting or conversation to find out the truth.
2. Just listen to it and remember it. You don’t even need to do anything: it will reveal itself with inconsistencies.
3. Arrange unexpected surprises and meetings. Invite someone unexpectedly on a date, stop by in the evening just to give them flowers. She says that she will be at home, but she is not there - this is a reason to think about the honesty of her words. Or maybe you will be even more “lucky” and you will find her with someone else.

If you don’t want to test a girl, but it’s important for you to find out the truth, then use psychology and nonverbal signals. They will help you understand whether a girl is lying to you, or they will reveal other secrets.

Girls think about other people's feelings3

Representatives of the fair sex do not adhere to the rule “better the bitter truth than a sweet lie.” They understand. When a person needs to lie so that he does not become completely disappointed in himself and in his life.

If the girls all told the truth, then we could expect another great depression. Think for yourself, would you like to know that your current girlfriend accidentally met one of her exes on the street and talked with him for several hours? That's it.

Ladies are much more sensitive to people's emotions. It is usually simply impossible for them to tell the truth, which will definitely offend the interlocutor. It is important for them that the person with whom they are talking feels confident and calm, and if they say something unpleasant, even truthful, the former calm and confidence will disappear.

How to find out that she is lying without words: her body will give it away

If a girl is a good liar, then it will be difficult to find out the truth, even after flipping through all the books on psychology. She has already studied them too and consciously avoids gestures that betray deception. It is also worth considering that different people have different manners when deceiving. Try to track her reaction to small lies, but just don’t tell her what she’s saying. This is easy to do during a game like “mafia” or “poker”. Now you will know that if she smiles stupidly, then she has something to hide. There are also more universal signs that you should pay attention to:

1. Dilated pupils, but they also indicate excitement and great interest.
2. She automatically repeats your question before beginning her answer.
3. The girl leaves sentences unfinished.
4. She is nervous, but tries to appear indifferent. At the same time, when you start talking quickly in a question-and-answer format, she becomes very tense and is afraid of making a mistake.

It is more difficult if the girl is far away and it is impossible to fully assess the changes in her behavior. If you suspect a lie, you should pay attention to the fact that she has become less likely to communicate with you via video call and prefers messages. But even from a distance you can find out if she is lying.

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"Everyone lies". I don't remember who said it. According to scientific research, an ordinary person lies three times in 10 minutes of conversation.

And women generally lie by definition (by the male definition, of course). Once, my friend and I set up an experiment (on ourselves), agreeing not to lie to each other for exactly one day (at least). And what do you think? This turned out to be physically impossible. Because in addition to the usual, factual lie (where you were, what you did), there is also “non-disclosure” and the so-called “white lie.” Well, I can’t face my friend when she asks, “How do I look today?” answer that it doesn’t matter. I can't upset her. What would happen if I made such a bet with a man?.. How to determine that they are lying to you? It would be like in the fairy tale about Pinocchio - a woman lied to you and her nose immediately grew. Or every man would have a portable lie detector. But in our reality show such methods do not work. Moreover, if women can intuitively sense a lie (we have such a factory setting), then men rarely have such a talent; they have to be guided by logic and facts. There are entire psychological treatises on body language and other physiology that will teach you to distinguish truth from lies. Or, for example, fans of the series “Lie to Me” starring Tim Roth can use each episode as a practical lesson, it is popularly explained who is lying, at what moment and why. Method one: the language of facial expressions and gestures In any textbook you will find that if a person (and a woman is also a person!) touches her nose every now and then, rubs her eyelid, earlobe or scratches her neck - all this indicates that she is trying to deceive. It happens that a woman literally holds herself by the throat, as if afraid to spill the beans: the words stand in her throat, and she seems to be holding them back. In general, if you want to expose a woman, pay close attention to the fluttering of our hands around the face. Of course, sometimes it happens that your nose or ear just itches (especially if there is hair nearby that tickles), and if at this time you jump up shouting: “Here! You scratched your neck! You're lying to me!" - we can send you to hell. Therefore, it is better to read everything to the end and use an integrated approach. Pay special attention to the eyes of your interlocutor. When a woman lies deliberately, she tries to maintain eye contact - looking soulfully into your eyes, as if to understand whether you believe her lie. True, when a woman turns her eyes to the side while talking to you, she is most likely also lying, and she is ashamed... So decide for yourself what to choose here. Neurolinguists also claim that most often, when a person invents and embellishes events, he looks to the left and up. Watch for blinking. When they lie, they often blink involuntarily because it is stressful. (Although, increased blinking may also mean that the subject of the conversation is unpleasant for her and causes pain, so be careful not to confuse it.) The textbooks also write that when a person is lying, he can fold his hands in a lock or on his chest, hide his hands - puts them in his pockets, for example. Unilateral movements - when only one side of the body is very active (shoulder, arm, leg) - indicate that a person is saying the opposite of what he thinks. In general, if he twitches one shoulder, it reveals a lie. Some psychologists consider an asymmetrical facial expression (distortion of a smile in one direction, for example) in a conversation to be one hundred percent confirmation that a person is lying. Does the woman take a step back when she speaks? “She herself doesn’t believe what she says and retreats.” Are the corners of her lips trembling or tense? “I’m glad I managed to fool you.” Now try to remember all this. Method two: speech signs The most famous sign that a person is lying is if his voice rises. Not in terms of volume, but in terms of height. For example, your spouse usually speaks in a bass voice, but when answering a sensitive question, she answered in falsetto. And after that will you believe her? The voice trembles - he’s also lying. Why would he tremble in a normal situation? The third sign is reservations. As they say, “Freudian slips.” When we think about one thing and say something else out loud, that is, we simultaneously hold two “truths” in our heads, the language often fails us and ceases to obey us, giving out “reservations.” Oops... Often liars (and deceivers) suddenly begin to speak more slowly than before - this happens when he suddenly felt that he had unexpectedly betrayed himself in some way, and immediately began to carefully monitor what he said, carefully weigh his words... To expose a deceiver, ask her to retell everything she just told you in reverse order. When everything is true, it won't be difficult. And when I lied, it’s hard to remember what followed what. Finally, ask an unexpected question. Only 4% of professional liars can withstand this blow. For example: “What time did you say your friend Tanya went home?” The liar has probably already forgotten about the number she mentioned. Method three: physiology As I already said, a lie is always stress for the body, which means that the human body begins to show all its signs. The most common sign is redness. Even teachers at school caught us using it: if she blushed, it meant she was lying. Also, watch carefully: beads of sweat appear (especially above the upper lip or on the forehead), she drinks a lot or licks her lips (dry mouth), her pupils narrow, her breathing becomes heavy and noisy, her facial muscles begin to twitch (eyelid, corner of the mouth, tip of the eyebrow), hands become covered with “goose bumps”, yawning begins, veins on the neck, forehead, temple pulsate, stuttering or a nervous cough (coughing) appear - all these are signs of deception. Of course, a pulsating vein can be a sign of increased blood pressure, and coughing can be a sign of a cold... Therefore, I repeat once again: we evaluate the condition as a whole. Method four: “folk” signs Everyone has a lot of them. For example, I noticed that when a person is taken by surprise and is about to lie, he immediately switches your attention to something: he goes into another room (supposedly on business) or starts tying his shoes, sorting out papers on the table... But there is more funny signs. For example, African aborigines have their own lie detector - an ostrich egg. The person answering the question holds an egg in his hands. If he lies, the egg bursts. He involuntarily squeezes it a little harder - and the shell cannot stand it. The fact is that a person cannot control the microcontractions of the arm muscles. If you know similar funny signs, write in the comments. In the meantime, I’ll tell you the main thing: before you start exposing your wife or girlfriend in a lie, ask yourself - do you want to know this truth? As one of the greats said: “Don’t ask a question if you don’t know what you will do with the answer.”

How to recognize a lie if you are far apart

It is more difficult to figure out a girl if you are far away from each other. It’s not so easy to come here on a surprise visit and not look into her eyes to see how sincere she is. But the girl will be betrayed by correspondence, telephone conversation and behavior. An attentive guy will immediately notice the changes. To find out the truth from a distance, follow this algorithm:

1. Call her and talk about simple topics. Find out how your mood is, how your day went. Let him relax and not expect any checks.
2. Ask your question sharply and unexpectedly, but calmly and without hostility. If you're worried that she has someone else and yesterday she didn't answer her calls because of a date, then ask.
3. See how she reacts. Aggression and attack are a wake-up call. If after the question she is confused and cannot collect her thoughts for a long time, it means that she is also thinking through a lie.
4. Notice how her mood and voice changed. It's good if you communicate via video call and you can see her reaction. If she changes the topic of conversation or abruptly decides to end communication, then this is also a bad sign.
5. Listen to yourself and trust your instinct. Don't be afraid to admit to yourself that she's cheating and don't cover for her. By her reaction you will definitely understand the real answer to your question. The main thing is to be calm and not put pressure on you to see the reaction to the question, and not to your behavior.

To understand why a girl lies, it is not enough to consider male reasons. If you yourself are a skilled liar, this does not mean that it will be easy for you to recognize a girl’s deception. She lies differently. Understand that if a girl lies to you, then you have definitely made one of the “10 mistakes men make.”

Sign No. 1. Atypical gestures or unfamiliar gestures

Most people who lie, try to somehow deceive or mislead feel quite uncomfortable, especially if the main process does not start to go according to a pre-thought-out plan. As a result, excessive anxiety and discomfort provoke completely atypical gestures or gesticulations that were completely unfamiliar to you before.

Such gestures in most cases are aimed solely at convincing you that she is telling you only the honest truth. Thus, with the help of gestures, she distracts attention in order to prevent you from thinking or simply thinking about what she is saying.

If during the conversation you notice that a woman is constantly gesticulating, and each gesture is trying to emphasize some word or some phrase, then you need to be wary and be sure to clarify every detail you don’t understand during the conversation.

Remember, if you simply begin to clarify any information during a conversation with her, then her deception will be revealed to some extent, as she will simply begin to get confused in the facts and get lost in the details.

What is the difference between male and female lies?

Everyone lies. Some are petty, while others are constantly and skillfully entangled with flattery. But at the same time, men's and women's lies are different. Girls use longer sentences, and guys more often repeat words such as “certainly,” “definitely,” “of course.” Instead of these words, ladies often say verbs such as “I’ll try” and “I’ll try.” Men and women also have something in common: when they deceive, they use more pronouns in conversation and correspondence. At the same time, girls place more emphasis on “I”, and men more often repeat the word “My”, “Mine”.

You can love and forgive everything, but it is better to know your worth and not allow yourself to be deceived. If a friend behaves suspiciously, then there is no need to ignore it for fear of ruining the relationship. If you leave everything as it is, you will have to constantly adjust and listen to her lie. My students are masterful at identifying a girl’s lies, find out more what I can teach you.

Repetition mother of revelation

Everything is very simple here. Remember yourself in your student days; during an oral test or exam, many students repeat the teacher’s question in order to gain time and think about the answer. This is exactly what women do when they are preparing to tell a lie. For the purity of the testimony, it is better to do as described in the distancing option, that is, after a while, ask the woman to once again tell the story, which in your opinion is not true. The question should be asked as if you want to clarify some point from the story told to her. Often a woman, duplicating your question, adds some of her own details to it.

Small parts

Paying attention to details can also reveal a liar. Compare how a woman tells truthful information and how she presents lies in detail. Remember the true story, usually women tell everything in the smallest details, which often do not even have anything to do with what is happening. For example, if your interlocutor tells you how she had a fight with her friend and this information is true, the woman retells it with all the details, right down to how her friend gestured, where she looked, what she was wearing, what makeup and earrings she had on. If a woman lies, she often tells only the essence of the problem and leaves out small details. If a woman always tells you everything without small details, but suddenly begins to tell you with details that are not typical for her usual story, most likely she is lying.

Hiding the truth

Compared to men's lies, women's deception is really different. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity usually lie in cases where they need a certain benefit - money, career advancement, reputational effects, etc.

Girls lie when they need to hide the truth. That is, lying is not a tool to achieve anything. Rather, it is a forced way to avoid negative consequences. For example, a woman may lie to protect a man's feelings.