Love is a wonderful state, and it is not surprising when women experience this feeling towards men or vice versa. But quite often it happens that a girl suddenly realizes that she has fallen in love with a woman. This can happen to anyone, at any age, and completely unexpectedly. Such feelings are confusing, especially if the woman considered herself to be of traditional sexual orientation. But is it worth panicking and denying the attachment that has arisen? Or it’s better to try to understand yourself, understand why this happened and what can be done.
Why does this happen
Decades of clinical research show that individual sexual preferences vary, ranging from attraction to people of the opposite biological sex to exclusive attraction to people of the same biological sex. There are also those called bisexuals - people who are attracted to both women and men.
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Discovering sexual potential and choosing an orientation is a complex process. It is influenced by many factors (starting from birth and throughout life). It is very difficult to answer the question of why a woman fell in love with another girl. Anything could have influenced this. If throughout her adult life she dated guys and felt attracted to them, but suddenly something changed in her mind, there may be several reasons for this:
- her sexual preferences were not previously clear to her;
- she consciously denied that loving women was considered the norm;
- her attraction was suppressed through religion or culture;
- Serious changes occurred in her body that affected her hormonal levels.
It also happens that these reasons act together. It is difficult to understand for sure why a girl fell in love with another girl. Only a highly professional psychologist can establish the cause.
Women's love among celebrities
Same-sex relationships are becoming increasingly popular due to the loss of trust in the institution of family and the need to engage in the reproduction of similar individuals. And public attitudes have changed dramatically; now the “title” of a lesbian in many countries helps to find a job or make a creative career.
Cara Delevingne
The British model and actress often appeared in public with actress Michelle Rodriguez, and later she admitted her feelings for singer Annie Clark.
Cara Delevingne and Michelle Rodriguez
Cara Delevingne and Annie Clark
Kristen Stewart
The American actress began dating her own producer Alicia Cargile, then lured Annie Clark to her place and talks about serious intentions
Kristen Stewart with Alicia Cargile
Kristen Stewart with Annie Clark
Miley Cyrus
The American singer calls herself a punksexual; her partner’s gender does not matter to her; she was in a relationship with model Stella Maxwell.
Miley Cyrus with Stella Maxwell
From a psychological point of view
According to medical research, feelings of emotional and sexual attraction that shape adult orientation usually begin between the ages of 6 and 13. However, feelings of attraction develop and change at any age, even without previous sexual experience. For example, people who practice celibacy or long-term abstinence from sex may have misconceptions about their sexuality.
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Some people decide that they have unconventional sexual preferences long before they become sexually involved with other people. On the other hand, some people cannot determine their sexuality until they have had sexual relations.
Sometimes discrimination and prejudice prevent you from accepting your sexual orientation identity. Society (for the most part) considers it deviant when a woman declares that she is attracted to girls. This creates a psychological barrier and prevents you from accepting yourself.
Although scientists believe that nature (inherited traits) and nurture (acquired traits) play complex roles in shaping intimate preferences. However, many studies have not established why people become gay or lesbian.
Experts believe that each person's feelings of emotional attraction are influenced by a complex combination of genetic dominance, hormonal and social factors. Some research has shown that parents' attitudes toward orientation may influence how some children experiment with their own sexual behavior and gender identity.
Gay, lesbian and bisexual sexual orientations were previously thought to be types of “mental disorders,” often caused by childhood abuse and adult relationship dysfunction. However, this has been proven to be untrue and is based largely on misinformation and prejudice regarding “alternative” lifestyles. Recent studies show that there is no connection between sexual orientation and initial psychological disorders.
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American psychologist John Buss estimates that throughout human history, about 2% of women have been lesbian or bisexual. But today these figures have increased significantly. Recent surveys of teenage girls and young women indicate that approximately 15% of young women today identify as lesbian or bisexual.
Pros and cons of such relationships
psychological compatibility, atmosphere of intimacy and trust, intuitive mutual understanding;
a conflict-free way of resolving problems, the ability to understand each other and come to an agreement without hysterics and disagreements;
full intimacy with a “guaranteed” orgasm, it is women who are able to understand the best way to influence the body to obtain pleasure.
inability to have common offspring;
misunderstanding of others;
housing and material problems;
impossibility of recording relations in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation and obtaining a legally valid status.
Myths about lesbians
We recommend: What is real femininity and how to develop it.
How do I know if I'm really a lesbian?
It is important to understand yourself before you understand to accept your sexual orientation. To do this, you need to answer the following simple questions:
- Are your sexual feelings stronger for women than for men?
- Do you prefer to be kissed by women or men?
- Do you feel disgust towards the opposite sex when you think about having sex with them?
- Are you physically more attracted to female or male bodies?
- What are your sexual fantasies about men or women?
- Which gender do you want to live with and create a family life in the future tense?
In 1948, American researcher Alfred Kinsey developed a heterosexual-homosexual rating scale called the Kinsey scale. This is a seven-point scale (from 0 to 6) with an additional “X” category.
The scale ranges from heterosexual (0) to exclusively homosexual (6). Grade X is often described as asexuality. The scale is a self-assessment method based on individual experience, and the number on the scale may change as sexuality develops.
If a woman is confused about what her orientation is, she can use the methods of self-analysis described above.
If a lady hides her feelings: invisible signals of love
A young lady can hide her love, but it can be determined by the following indirect signs:
- embarrassed, embarrassed, looks away if she notices that her lover is looking at her;
- worries, cheeks turn red;
- when the conversation is about feelings or about him, he speaks with a trembling voice or changes the topic;
- shows excessive modesty or constraint, and may avoid meeting the object of adoration by crossing the road to the other side.
The eyes and timbre of the voice are the first to reveal a woman’s feelings.
Nonverbal signs that a woman has fallen in love: gaze and body language
Nonverbal signs often speak more eloquently about the signs of falling in love. Woman in love:
- accidentally touches his hair, face, neck;
- “shoots” with eyes;
- her posture is open;
- copies the gestures of the interlocutor;
- wants to touch for any reason (straighten a tie, remove lint from a jacket, offers to hem a button);
- gets excited, her breathing quickens when she's near him.
Is it good or bad
The American Psychological Association officially states that both heterosexual and other behaviors are completely normal aspects of human sexuality. If a person feels attracted to people of the same biological sex, it means that certain changes are occurring in his body or consciousness. The person himself does not influence them. But he has two options - to succumb or resist the inner nature.
READ The look of a man in love: how to recognize it and not confuse it with slyness
Sometimes it happens that a woman deliberately denies that she is in love with a girl. Thus, there is a confrontation between consciousness and internal emotions. Such a background becomes favorable for the development of mental disorders and disorders. Therefore, it is impossible to classify changes in preferences in the intimate sphere as good or bad. This remains a subjective perception.
What to do in such a situation
The first thing you need to understand is that there is nothing abnormal in a woman’s attraction to a woman and say to yourself honestly, “I fell in love with another girl.” The only thing you need to choose is the further path of socialization, taking into account your internal changes.
If you like a specific woman, you need to prepare for the fact that the manifestation of feelings may be rejected. This will certainly bring pain and disappointment, but it may also happen that she will reciprocate. It all depends on her intimate preferences.
When talking about lesbian relationships, many people mean exclusively an unconventional intimate relationship, and not a real emotional attachment. Therefore, you need to be prepared for the fact that a woman will be ready to try something new for herself in bed, but there will be no talk about feelings on her part.
One of the main pieces of advice is that you shouldn’t advertise your feelings until you can sort yourself out. If you can’t do this on your own, it’s better to seek advice from a psychologist. Otherwise, you may encounter misunderstanding from society. And in order to resist the usual foundations and accept the real you, it is important to prepare properly.
Girls are different: how zodiac signs in love behave
Girls are different. If we take the horoscope as a basis, there are at least 12 types. And each of these types loves in their own way. Let's talk about this in a nutshell.
How to understand that an Aries woman is in love
A man learns about the love of a woman born under the sign of Aries from her personally. Aries can pursue the victim of his love. Or just shower them with gifts and look after them in every possible way. So what if it's a woman?
How to understand that a Taurus woman is in love
Don't delude yourself - these cold-blooded beauties are not the first to fall in love. First of all, because they love themselves very much. And in general, their life goes according to plan. They allow themselves to fall in love if the man fits all the parameters. Therefore, first Taurus will let you in and examine you from all sides (including sex). Then she will allow herself to fall in love with you, and for you to marry her.
How to understand that a Gemini woman is in love
If you have been knocked off your feet by a hurricane of sexual, intellectual and emotional attention, a Gemini woman in love is somewhere nearby. Its element is air, which is essentially wind. This element is also to blame for the changeability of her nature. Today he loves, tomorrow he is blown away by the wind.
How to understand that a Cancer woman is in love
Has a tendency to cling with a death grip to the object of his love. True, not right away. Moreover, Cancers are almost unable to attack - to take bold steps first. On the contrary, this woman will keep her feelings under a shell for a long time and persistently. Until you fall in love and win her.
How to understand that a Leo woman is in love
Doesn't hide feelings. In love she is frantic and tyrant. Prefers to be the initiator. As soon as he invites you to bed, he will escort you out of there. And the Lioness sends her off without much foreplay. Especially those “unworthy” servants who refuse to please her in everything.
How to understand that a Virgo woman is in love
Virgo’s magnificent self-control forces men to puzzle over what’s on her mind. Yes, her feelings are subject to discipline. Yes, he won’t let a random person he meets into his soul. But if you are the right man for her, behind the cold facade you will find a sensual and caring woman. Just let her know that everything is mutual.
How to understand that a Libra woman is in love
Whether she loves or doesn’t love, this or that, she has to constantly ask herself these kinds of questions. And just in case, put on a love performance - shine, tempt and seduce. Do not take to heart. As for the future, it is possible if a girl of this sign sees in you the potential for cutting a diamond like hers.
How to understand that a Scorpio woman is in love
In love - a real femme fatale. Feelings for her are deep and serious. Don't expect meek puppy dog looks. There won't be any. This woman looks piercing, powerful and impudent. If you can't escape, you'll have to submit. And fulfill her every whim.
How to understand that a Sagittarius woman is in love
One can only envy this girl’s frankness and straightforwardness. This is where the soul is wide open. She will be happy to tell you that she is in love (with you) and does not at all mind ending up in bed with the object of her love (with you) in the near future.
How to understand that a Capricorn woman is in love
While you are not sure of anything (about your intentions and financial situation), you will not stir up the topic of love within yourself. He will relax when the picture comes together in his head. But he still won’t throw himself into the pool. She will simply appear coquetry, playfulness, vulnerability and helplessness.
How to understand that an Aquarius woman is in love
He flirts, flirts, listens with his mouth open - he seems to love. In this case, one thing should seem to be true - Aquarians love to be the center of attention. True, if you have struck up a strong friendship with her, there is a chance that this charming extravaganza will fall in love with you in the near future.
How to understand that a Pisces woman is in love
“What a lovely fool” is about them. Having fallen in love, they become dreamy and absent-minded. Ready to dissolve in love without a trace. But if they don’t see any initiative on the part of men, they silently swim away in another direction. Step forward and see what happens. If she gets all excited and blushes, this fish is not indifferent to you.
You have the minimum necessary information on hand. Take it and use it. No one to whom you can apply your acquired experience? Millions of women want to fall in love! Register on dating sites - and you will see everything for yourself. Good luck!
Does science help in this situation?
In the 1930s, scientists developed the practice of various forms of "conversion therapy" designed to change a person's sexual preference to heterosexual. Today, all major national mental health organizations consider all forms of treatment or "reparative" therapy to be pseudoscientific practices that are simply ineffective and, at worst, emotionally and physically harmful.
Additionally, the American Psychological Association found that promoting conversion therapy instills negative stereotypes that have led to years of discrimination against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.
READ Clear signs that a married man has fallen in love with another woman
In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association officially removed homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is used by medical professionals to define disorders in this area. Every other major medical organization has done the same, eliminating all professional support for the idea that same-sex attraction can or even should be “changed.”
Having her own desire, a girl can turn to a psychologist for help. But he will not consider her “sick”, since this is contrary to professional ethics. However, a specialist is obliged to provide advisory assistance. He will determine the cause of what is happening and try to help. If a woman wants to get rid of such an attraction, a psychologist will tell her how to behave and what measures to take.
And if she simply needs support for socialization in society with a new orientation, he will also provide advisory assistance.
Recommendations from psychologists
When it’s hard to understand what to do next, if you realize that you have fallen in love with another woman, you want to hear words of support and good advice. Therefore, the following selection of practical recommendations will help cope with the current situation:
- If you are confident that your feelings will not be rejected, then it is better to confess your love.
- You need to choose a reliable person from your circle of friends and ask for his support.
- You can seek help from a psychologist.
- If you are afraid of real communication with a specialist, you can use his services online while remaining incognito.
- If a girl falls in love with her colleague, it is better not to admit her feelings, as this will (more likely) lead to contempt from the team.
If a girl falls in love with another woman, this does not mean that she is strange or abnormal. Everyone has the right to decide with whom to live and whom to love. even if society has a negative attitude towards people with unconventional orientation, this should not prevent them from living happily. The main thing is to learn to cope with your internal experiences in this regard and not be afraid to be.
Signs of mutual feelings
When feelings arise for a girl, in addition to confusion, fear is often experienced. She is afraid of being rejected, of being misunderstood and judged by the people around her, which is why she continues to experience mental anguish. In some cases, a declaration of love can be positive, and it turns out that the feelings are mutual.
