What to do if you want to leave your girlfriend but she doesn’t give you a reason

Every day, more than a hundred thousand couples break up around the world. However, the decision to separate is not always mutual. What to do if the thought “I want to leave my girlfriend” flashes more and more often in a young man’s head. How to prepare your beloved for separation so that it passes with minimal losses? How to behave if your partner presses for pity and begs to give her a chance? These and many other questions will be discussed in this article.

Determine the reason for the separation

Before you tell your beloved the news of the breakup, you need to understand for yourself the reason for the breakup. Why did you suddenly decide to break up? Is this really a balanced and thoughtful decision? Try to analyze your relationship and understand at what point thoughts about breaking up began to appear in your head.

If the decision to break up is made after a quarrel or scandal, perhaps it is just an emotional outburst. Then give yourself some time to cool down and calm down. Perhaps after some time, you will realize that your feelings are still strong, and thoughts of separation were premature.

Things will be completely different if feelings for your partner have cooled. You are no longer attracted to her, thoughts of intimacy no longer bring the same delight, and spending time together no longer brings pleasure. The decision to break up is firmly stuck in your head and, like a sore callus, does not allow you to live in peace. In this case, you shouldn’t pull the strap, but rather honestly dot the i’s as quickly as possible and go on a solo voyage.

Other reasons why guys leave girls

It happens that there is no obvious explanation why the guy left the girl. He stopped calling, communicating, and does not answer your calls. But know that a normal person would not do this. If the guy left, then there was a reason. But stop tormenting yourself with thoughts and looking for her. Move on with your life, because if a person leaves without an explanation, then it is not your fault.

But guys may leave because girls are more interested in their lives. Men don’t like it when girls forget about themselves and direct all their energy towards them. All people have the right to their own space, which cannot be invaded even by loved ones.

If a man left for someone else, it was not because of your appearance. The motive lies elsewhere. There are several of them: the rival turned out to be close and interesting to the guy, she has a trait that you are not endowed with.

It happens that a guy is afraid to get attached to a girl. He believes that you will cause him pain and suffering, so he does not want a serious relationship. Most likely, he will immediately run away as soon as the relationship develops. Unreasonable jealousy, hysterics, anger - no one likes these qualities. If you recognize yourself in this description, then don’t be surprised why the guy left.

It is worth mentioning that there are stupid reasons for leaving. These include relationships “on a dare” to prove to friends that he is cool. You shouldn’t think about guys like this and suffer because of a breakup. If this happened, then it is not your fault, you met an unworthy individual. Be glad you were able to get rid of it so easily.

A decision needs to be made2

“Love has passed - the tomatoes have wilted,” so we should break up with the girl. Everything seems clear and simple, but where can you find the strength and courage to say this to your girlfriend? You can, of course, wait until the feelings suddenly fade away on her part. But where are the guarantees that in the next fifty years, she will realize that you are not the hero of her novel. No, you shouldn’t count on your partner’s extrasensory abilities, but you need to take everything into your own hands.

Of course, the separation procedure is not the most pleasant, but if you have already decided that you want to leave your girlfriend, then you will have to go through it. By the way, psychologists say that if you talk about a problem, it makes it easier to solve.

Stand in front of the mirror and start a conversation with yourself. “I want to leave the girl because I don’t love her anymore, I don’t want her, I don’t see a future with her. I have to be honest and frank with her. And no matter how hard she took this news, in the future it will be better for both of us. I’m not a scoundrel or a goat, this happens sometimes and no one is immune from it.”

After this short session of self-hypnosis, you should feel better, because you really aren’t doing anything wrong and it’s not your fault that you stopped loving your partner. There will be confidence in the correctness of the decision made.

Choose a day to break up3

No matter how much you would like to end your old relationship as quickly as possible, wait for the right moment. Be prepared for the conversation to be long and difficult. Therefore, it is very important that none of you are in a hurry or late. It’s better to find out in advance about your girlfriend’s plans for the next few days and choose an evening that is free in her schedule.

You should not risk your health and break up the news on the eve of holidays, such as New Year, Valentine's Day or International Women's Day. If you announced your breakup the day before the holidays and remained alive and well, get ready for contemptuous looks and moral condemnation from mutual friends. “What a scoundrel, he ruined all the holidays for the poor thing. Couldn't wait." And all your assurances that you wanted the best will not correct the general impression of your “vile and vile” act.

My boyfriend left me a week before New Year's. He said that he wanted to start the New Year with a clean slate and leave everything bad in the old year. In response to my question about whether I was the bad thing in his life, he turned around and left. (Lera, 23 years old)

House or cafe, cafe or house?4

How to be? Where to tell your girlfriend about the breakup? At home or in a cafe? Good question. It all depends, of course, on the temperament of your woman. You can inform about the separation at home if you are sure that she will not throw a tantrum and will not hit and crush all the objects that come into her hand on your head.

Of course, she can act as in that joke: “I told the girl about the breakup. I walked out the door and heard a shot. I thought I shot myself. I'm coming back. No, the champagne was opened by a bitch. Celebrating." However, the likelihood of such an outcome is very low.

Psychologists recommend reporting such news in public places. It is advisable to choose a small and uncrowded cafe. Also make sure that it is not far from home and that your girlfriend can easily find her way back if she is upset.

Just don't be thick-skinned and choose a place to break up that was special to your couple. “Darling, do you remember how I invited you to this restaurant, confessed my love and proposed to date you? I decided that where we started our relationship is where we should end.

So you can order your favorite fish and dessert for the last time, we’ll have a quiet dinner, and then we’ll go home, I’ll pack my things and move back to my mother.” At best, she will order all the dishes on the menu and ruin you; at worst, all visitors to the restaurant will learn a lot of interesting things about you.

“My ex turned out to be such a bug. He invited me to the restaurant and was so gallant and polite all evening. Maybe more wine? Let's try their signature salad? If you want, I'll order you a light dessert. I’m still thinking to myself where such miracles of generosity come from from this pathological greedy person. And at the end of dinner I gave out the news, they say, I’m leaving you. That's when I realized what the catch was. He specially created an atmosphere so that I would relax and would not want to spoil the last evening together. (Katya, 21 years old)

We part beautifully

Try to present this news carefully.
Take a piece of paper and answer yourself a number of questions, especially if you have doubts about whether to leave the girl. By answering these questions, you will be able to better understand yourself and your feelings, and you will find the necessary arguments for a future conversation.

do you want to never see her again?
Don’t you just want to intimidate or take revenge on her in this way?
Isn't the breakup phrase a way to get her attention?
When and why did you stop being satisfied with the relationship?
what has changed and in whom, because once everything suited you?
can the girl do something to influence your decision?

Take two pieces of paper. On the first one, write everything that you consider to be the reason for the upcoming separation. On the second, reformulate everything so that your statements do not offend the girl, even if the breakup is really her fault.
Now start talking. It’s better to choose a neutral area for conversation, for example, a cafe, preferably not far from her house, so that she can easily get home. Remember that she will be upset.
Be sure to say that you thought about the decision you made for a long time and that it is really important to you.
Say that you realized that there is no future in your relationship. Give pre-prepared arguments.
Be sure to thank the girl for everything she has done for you. Tell her how smart and beautiful she is, that you are simply “not on the way.”
Now it is important not to give any hope. Most likely, the girl will try to restore the relationship, call and write, and look for a meeting. It is important to remain polite and at the same time serious. She must accept everything and get over it.

Arguments decide everything!5

So, you're more determined than ever, the place and time have been chosen, and your girlfriend has been warned that you're going out to dinner together on Thursday night. Now you need to clearly think through what and how you will say.

The voice should be confident and categorical, because if a girl feels even the slightest bit of doubt in it, she will cling to you like a bulldog to a bone and will not let go. You can again resort to the help of a mirror and rehearse.

Think what you say and don't say what you think. In general, this golden rule must always be followed. And in the event of a painful separation, retreating from it is tantamount to execution.

Naturally, it would be like a man if you take all the blame for the breakup. “You are wonderful, you are every man’s dream. But, unfortunately, I don’t love you.” There is no need for unnecessary words or phrases, say everything clearly and to the point. State the facts and do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument or dialogue. Let your girlfriend understand that you have made a decision for yourself and it is not subject to discussion.

Options for how a girl should respond to a breakup message6

Girls are unpredictable creatures, so how she will react to the news of a breakup is impossible to predict. Just be emotionally prepared for your options.

In case she suddenly starts screaming, hysterical and shedding tears, it would be a good idea to take earplugs and a pack of paper napkins with her. Things will get worse if the girl suddenly starts talking about her love, falls to her knees and begs for a second chance. Here you will need to show steely restraint and let her understand that all her persuasion, broadcasts and requests are meaningless.

Another behavior option on the girl’s part is to calmly accept the news of a breakup. “Do you want to break up with me? OK. I agree. I also think that you are not worthy of me. Of course I'll find something better. Do not worry. The main thing is that you can find someone like me. By the way, don’t ask me back - I won’t accept it.” After such words, even the most strong-willed man suddenly doubts his decision.

When my Andryusha told me about the breakup, I was already ready for it. Our relationship recently was far from ideal, and separation was inevitable. I received the news coldly and distantly; it seems to me that he was even confused by my reaction. After he left, I howled like a beluga for three days, but I was proud that I didn’t show him how bad I was. (Ira, 29 years old)

How to behave after a breakup7

“I want to leave my girlfriend, but I don’t know how to do it.” Psychologists advise men to avoid the following mistakes:

Even if you really want to avoid an unpleasant conversation and report this news by phone or through social networks, you should not do this. This will be a cowardly and vile step on your part. No girl deserves to be treated this way;
in any situation, behave like a real man. If your tongue is very itchy and you want to make unflattering comments about her culinary or other abilities, then just bite your tongue;
be honest, don’t lie and don’t get your hopes up. A phrase like: “There is always a chance” will become a signal for a girl to take active action and action. Do not be surprised after such words if two days later she greets you after work with a bouquet of flowers;

After a breakup, don’t look for reasons to call or meet. Every time you have no one to talk to or nowhere to spend the night, you shouldn’t think about your ex, who is always happy to see you;
no sex. Even if your girlfriend is a fan of the movie “Sex for Friendship” and is tempting you into intimacy, answer with a categorical refusal. Remember that life is not a movie and there is no script;
give her time to recover. Of course, during your relationship, you have made mutual friends who will continue to invite both her and you to common gatherings. Be a gentleman, refuse meetings, at least at the beginning of the breakup. Give your ex-lover time to be in public and take a break from your grief for a while.

By following the advice of psychologists, you can avoid common mistakes and make life easier for yourself and your ex-lover.

I never thought that I would be friends with my ex, but it so happens that now he is my good friend. Although after he left me, I hated him. But then I cooled down and realized that he treated me very honestly. He didn’t drag his feet, but admitted that he had strong feelings for someone else and wanted to be with her. (Darina is 30 years old)

Breaking up with your girlfriend

Sometimes you have to let go of a relationship when you love deeply.
There is also a situation when a young man is in love, but notices that his partner does not reciprocate his feelings and continues to be there only out of politeness or fear of offending the person. In such a situation, it is important to gather courage and realize that the girl will be better off with someone else.

Talk to her, tell her about your decision, give reasons for it.
Stay calm and cut off all contacts.
It is important not to fall into a depressed state after a breakup. Find a passion, go on a trip. It is important to occupy your thoughts with something else. Throw away anything that might remind you of your ex.

Loud breakups of stars8

“People meet, people fall in love...” And unfortunately, people break up. And the news about the separation of a star couple always causes special interest. It would seem that on the TV screen and the covers of glossy magazines, they look at each other with happy eyes. And then, like a bolt from the blue, the news about the divorce. A selection of the most notorious divorces over the past few years:

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. After it became known about the separation of one of the most beautiful couples in Hollywood, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Aniston's fans rejoiced. Many began to hope that the relationship between Brad and Jennifer would resume, despite the fact that she was married. But in 2021, Aniston and her husband Justin Theroux separated after two years of official marriage. The star couple named the reason as “incompatibility of characters.”

Rita Dakota and Vlad Sokolovsky. Treason, betrayal, divorce and division of property. The story of the relationship between Dakota and Sokolovsky could serve as a script for a melodrama. Before falling in love, Rita and Vlad were good friends for many years. Then their friendship grew into love, they got married and became the parents of a wonderful baby Mia.
The guys actively posted their photos on Instagram and confessed their feelings to each other. In general, not life, but a beautiful fairy tale. That’s why when Rita announced the breakup on her social network page, fans were shocked. It turned out that throughout the marriage, the husband was unfaithful to her, as many relatives and mutual friends of the couple knew about. The parting was painful for Rita, but she bravely endured all the hardships.
Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum. Unfortunately, this beautiful couple also broke up after 9 years of relationship. However, the reason for their breakup still remains a mystery to many. The stars themselves do not name any specific reason, but answer that it was necessary. Even after the separation, in his interviews Channing speaks very affectionately about his ex-wife and calls her “my love.”

Ani Lorak and Murat Nalchadzhi-oglu. Beautiful, stately and successful. And shocking news in the media about the betrayal of Murat, who was photographed by the paparazzi in one of the Kyiv cafes with another girl. Despite the assurances of relatives that everything was fine with the spouses and that they loved each other, the divorce still took place.
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. The divorce of this couple lasted almost 3 years. But all this time, the spouses were not dividing property, but could not resolve the issue of child custody. The couple nevertheless came to a compromise and resolved this issue.
Alexander Kerzhakov and Milana Tyulpanova. Their marriage lasted less than 2 years, after which Milana admitted that her husband beat her and did not allow her to see her son. In turn, Kerzhakov accused his wife of drug addiction. And although the couple officially divorced, they still cannot resolve the issue of custody of their son.

Breaking up is always a difficult process. But every man has the power to make it less painful for his other half. If you want to leave a girl, then at this moment think not only about yourself, but also about her. And no matter how hard it is for both of you, but where the flame has already died out, a fire cannot be lit. Therefore, we recommend reading our article on how to leave a girl. Love and be happy.

Model "Constant Confrontation"

A characteristic feature of this type of relationship is the constant confrontation between two partners who daily try to pull the “blanket” over themselves. When they don’t quarrel over one issue or another for several days, it surprises both of them. However, not for long, because a calm life together is not their theme, and very soon everything will return to normal.

“Constant confrontation” is accompanied by regular complaints against each other. For example:

“You are talking nonsense again”;
“You never pay attention to me”;
“You are not at all interested in how I am doing”;
“Why should we always do what you want?”;
“Why do you constantly forbid me to do what I want?”;
“You spend too much time with your boyfriends.”

This list can be continued endlessly, but I hope the main idea is clear. Partners in such relationships constantly experience emotional exhaustion, denial, anger, fatigue, irritation and a host of other negative emotions.

In addition, their discontent accumulates over time, the state of confrontation becomes the foundation of the relationship, and every day it becomes more and more difficult to change the established order of things.

However, despite the constant confrontation of both partners, their separation can be very painful. And subsequently, one of them suddenly catches himself thinking: “What should I do if I can’t forget her/him?”