According to rom-coms, a first date is an amazing moment when the two of you are smiling endlessly, time flies, and beautiful music is always playing in the background.
However, for most of us, this event is not at all so serene, but on the contrary - both guys and girls are worried about how they look and what impression they managed to make, they worry about not saying something unnecessary, and when because This causes an awkward pause, and they begin to fuss even more.
Well, unfortunately, we cannot give you the formula for an ideal meeting that will help you conquer any girl. However, here we have a list of topics to talk about on a first date and sample questions that will help you get to know each other better and avoid awkward silences.
What is the best thing to talk about on a first date?
The first date can be compared to the activity of a scout - mutual recognition occurs, interests and hobbies are probed, and habits and manners are observed. The question arises of what to talk about on the first date with a girl. Conversations are neutral: about the weather, travel, favorite vacation spots, musical preferences, etc.
It is advisable to overcome embarrassment and behave naturally, organically, but also not to cross a certain line so that the behavior is not untied and familiar.
Often when meeting for the first time there is a fear of awkward silence. To prevent this from happening, you need to have several topics ready that can serve as a “lifesaver.” Topics to talk to a girl on the first date:
- Ask about the place of study or work, how it relates to plans for the future, dreams and desires. Usually a person enjoys attention and interest in his person. Answer her mutual questions, while observing how interested she is in the topic. If the girl listens with interest, you can develop the topic and tell more about your plans.
- Talk about family. Here you should show delicacy - maybe the girl has recently lost someone close to her or there are tense relationships in the family. You should not persistently question or develop a topic if it is unpleasant to your interlocutor. If a girl speaks with enthusiasm about her family and loved ones, show interest and friendly attention.
- Find out about the presence of pets, tell us about yours. If your interests coincide, this may become a favorable occasion for live communication, but if this does not move one of you, delicately change the topic to another.
- Find common interests in your pastime, perhaps it’s sports, travel, a passion for photography or computer games, find out about your favorite films, books, musicians, cafes or clubs. These are worthy topics to talk about with a girl on the first date.
Do not show ridicule or contempt if your interests do not coincide.
Don't push your hobbies if you don't see any reciprocal attention. The best option for a first date is when the balance of mutual interest is maintained, when each of the couple opens up a little, tries to understand and get to know the interlocutor, when the questions do not turn into interrogations. Knowing what to talk about with a girl on a first date, a young man will avoid sad topics, unnecessary revelations, and situations in which he did not look the best.
When talking about yourself in the best light, you should take precautions so that it does not look like bragging and narcissism.
If there is no convergence of interests in all topics, then the date can be delicately ended and parted. Or you can try to get to know the person better at the next meeting, if a spark still runs through.
Based on the girl’s behavior, it will become clear whether you are interested in her or not.
Main mistakes
There are common mistakes that guys make when communicating with girls:
- Choose an uninteresting/wrong topic to talk about. Let's say a guy loves football, and all his conversations are about it. Although this topic is most likely not interesting to the girl.
- At the very beginning of dating, many questions of an intimate nature are asked. For example, how many guys has the girl talked to or dated before?
- Allow long and inappropriate pauses during communication.
- They only talk about themselves. You need to give the girl a chance and time so that she can talk about herself.
- Excessively and constantly boast about their achievements and successes in school, work, sports, etc.
- Choose negative topics for conversation.
- They are limited only by words. But it’s worth visualizing the dialogue. If you are talking about music, discussing songs, you can invite her to listen to a new interesting track that she has not heard yet. Afterwards, discuss it and share your impressions of what you heard.
- They constantly discuss the same topic. You need to change topics of conversation so that the girl does not lose the desire to communicate with you.
- They turn the conversation into an interrogation with a bunch of questions.
- They do not know how to complete a dialogue correctly. To meet or write with her again, be able to end the dialogue correctly and at the right moment in an interesting place. Then she will have a desire next time to discuss with you what you did not agree on.
Promising topics for conversation at the second meeting
If during the first date there was good contact, mutual interest increased and some trust arose, then during the second meeting you can allow yourself to be more frank. Those topics that have aroused mutual interest provide an answer to what to talk about on a second date with a girl. You can deepen them, reveal your innermost plans, tell and ask more about your family, and remember moments from your childhood. The manifestation of emotions and experiences in memories will help establish closer emotional contact and trust if the girl is committed to a long-term serious relationship. If she is not interested in your life and inner world, then she most likely perceives dating as a fleeting episode without continuation.
You should take the second date more responsibly. If a girl agrees to a new meeting, it means that she is interested and will evaluate the young man more meticulously and demandingly in order to foresee the prospects for the development of the relationship. This is something to talk about on the second date. Delicately and gently, it is worth finding out what each of the couple expects from meetings in the future.
It may turn out that the third meeting will become uninteresting for both. A young man should know that often girls on the second date try to understand whether the relationship has a future.
It is advisable that the second date take place in a different format. For example, the first time was a walk in the park, during which common interests were identified. If this is photography, then the second time you can organize a joint hunt for interesting shots or visit a photo exhibition. It is important for both to see each other in a different situation.
If a young man plans to have intimate contact soon, he should delicately ask the girl about her attitude towards this. It is better to do this, for example, by finding out her opinion about the relationships of mutual acquaintances or popular people. However, there is no need to rush. The first two dates are more about an exchange of information, conscious and subconscious. If both understand that they are not suitable for each other, then the separation will be less painful in the absence of intimacy and will allow you to maintain a friendly relationship.
Trips
We can talk about this for a long time and in a fascinating way. Discussing impressions of other cities and countries is easy and fun. You can talk about interesting places you’ve visited and where else you’d like to go. Perhaps one of the couple went hiking and can share their impressions and experiences.
This is a rather emotional topic, and by expressing your emotions it will be easier to establish contact and please your partner. Women, as you know, love romantics, and even if a man does not consider himself one, then thanks to this topic he will receive an additional “plus” to the positive assessment from the girl. Discussing travel will help you find additional common ground and common interests.
How to communicate with a girl
The main task during the first communication is to remain yourself, you should not try on unusual images. The feeling of falsehood can ruin a relationship forever. At the same time, you need to show respect and tact, know how and what to talk about with a girl on a date. When meeting a young man, she will appreciate his originality, non-standard behavior, and positive and emotional attitude. A good technique is to touch on a new topic when answering her questions so that the conversation does not dry out, alternate questions with small funny stories that encourage her to ask questions. Avoid vulgarity and vulgarity, do not forget about compliments.
By phone
If possible, you should communicate on the phone and chat on social media as little as possible. networks, if there is an opportunity to meet in real life. At the beginning of dating, it is better to schedule a first date as quickly as possible, because live communication is always a priority.
If you have already had several dates, walks, then you can call the girl periodically. This is necessary so that she does not think that you are not interested or have forgotten about her. Over the phone, you can discuss how her and your day went, what interesting and unusual things happened.
Negative topics should be avoided. For example, discuss problems at school, at work, bosses, bad actions of friends and colleagues.
What questions can you ask?
Here are some tips on what to talk about on a first date with a girl:
- Ask only those questions whose answers are truly interesting. The girl will feel routine questions that do not require detailed answers. However, there is no need to shower your friend with them. A date is not an interview or an interrogation.
- It’s easier to get a silent girl talking with questions like “What do you think...?”, “What do you think about this?”, “Why this way and not that way...?” etc.
- Avoid closed questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer, develop a dialogue. The topic can always be suggested by surrounding circumstances (“What do you think is happening there?”, “Have you noticed...?”).
Be attentive to your girlfriend, do not ask about topics that are unpleasant to her, but deepen those that are truly interesting to her.
Childhood
This is one of the easiest and most fun topics that will be useful for communication and can defuse the situation.
You can talk about what games you liked to play as a child, how you went to your grandparents’ dacha, what funny stories happened to you, how your school years were, how you learned to swim, ride a bike and how many times you fell from it, how fell in love for the first time in kindergarten and how much you disliked milk with foam in the school canteen.
All this will help you get closer and have fun from the heart.
How to propose to meet
The experience of first communication with a specific girl and intuition, if you are in the mood for a person you like, will tell you how to propose meeting. When a young man appreciates the object of his attention, he will do it beautifully, in a romantic setting. The girl will appreciate the fact that the young man prepared, took into account what she loves, and created an atmosphere that is understandable and close to the two of them. Then the proposal to be together and get to know each other better will receive a positive response.
In the modern world, young people widely use gadgets for intimate correspondence, but it’s better to talk while looking into each other’s eyes. For those who are bothered by excessive anxiety, correspondence can help, but in this case you should choose sincere, non-trivial phrases.
Favorite dishes
You can ask what cuisine your interlocutor prefers, what drinks and dishes she likes. With this information, you can learn a little more about each other and plan a further joint cultural program: go to a pizzeria or enjoy sushi, or go to a coffee shop and drink hot chocolate with her favorite cakes.
If you know how to cook, do not hesitate to tell your interlocutor about it - for a woman, a man who knows how to cook well looks even more interesting and courageous.
How to ask on a date
Before you propose a long-term relationship, you cannot avoid asking for a first date. If the sight of a girl causes excitement and you lack experience in communicating with the opposite sex, you should focus on the following tips:
- be clear and specific;
- It’s easy to invite with a smile and a good mood;
- do not be intrusive and do not fawn, maintain a balance between masculinity and friendliness.
You should prepare before the meeting and decide what to talk about with the girl on the first date.
BASIC TEST
There is a small test that will help you understand whether you have a sufficient level of knowledge on this topic.
So, answer the following questions truthfully:
If you couldn’t find the answer to at least one question in your head, then I strongly recommend that you get comfortable and read to the end.
After studying comments from forums and opinion poll data, I came to the conclusion that an impressive number of men approach strangers without preparation. In their opinion, topics for conversation between a guy and a girl should be spontaneous.
Well, there is some truth to this theory. Yes, you don’t need to think long about the topic of the conversation. You need to react quickly, but the choice of topic should be based on the results of observing the girl and the environment.
Of course, there are “lucky” people who let the conversation take its course and get a positive result. But this is the exception rather than the rule. The risk of being rejected with this approach is very high.
What is a friend zone
There is such a thing as the friend zone. It means a relationship when one of the couple (usually a guy) is in love and is looking for a relationship, and the girl gives him the place of a friend next to her, but accepts signs of attention, considering him as a potential candidate for closer communication. Often the reason for this situation is that the young man did not know how and what to talk about with the girl on the first date. Perhaps he failed to fully touch her heart, although he showed himself to be a good person. On the other hand, he could seem so ideal to the girl for the candy-bouquet period that she is afraid to destroy the illusion when moving to another stage of the relationship. If a young man is not satisfied with this option, he should be persistent after some time or break up.
Hobbies, interests
This is perhaps the most universal topic for communication. You can ask what the girl is interested in in her free time, how she prefers to spend her leisure time. It is important to try to find common topics and questions; this will bring you a little closer and relieve tension, and will also allow you to learn more about each other and plan further meetings taking into account common interests.
Great hobby conversation topics:
- The favorite music;
- movie;
- leisure;
- sport;
- books.
Try to find out as much as possible about her, show interest, share your hobbies - this way you will show yourself as a pleasant and interesting interlocutor and will probably find a lot in common.
