How to ask a guy out on a date: psychological techniques

How to invite a man on a date first, so as not only to get consent, but to look decent in the eyes of the object of attention.

This question is increasingly of interest to modern women who do not want to expect activity from the stronger sex. Fear fades into the background when stronger feelings appear: love, sympathy, attraction to a person. But courage and self-confidence alone are not enough. You need to act in such a way that the guy understands correctly and accepts the initiative. Learn the theory before you start practicing.

Important points and preliminary preparation
Ways to date a man
A written invitation for the shy
Effective methods with minimal risk of failure
Offer to try something new
Idea for a movie night together
A walk as a hint to meet
Original methods of invitations
Appropriate invitation wording
How to respond to rejection

How do men feel about this?

Most young men are wary of the fair sex who independently invite guys on dates. The subconscious quietly whispers to them that such girls are accustomed to taking the initiative and will not want to obey a man.

It’s a rare guy who won’t ask himself the question of how many people have already been invited on a date by a girl who freely offers her company.

In order not to shock men, representatives of the fair sex have long learned to build a chain of events to receive an invitation.

Psychological tricks to maintain interest

‎Be positive. This does not mean that you should remain silent about problems, but it’s one thing to whine and blame everyone, from the president to the neighbors, and another thing to describe the situation and say that it’s okay, we’ll break through - life goes on!

Make jokes, tell interesting and funny stories. If communication is easy and pleasant, a man will be willing to make contact, and he will very soon get bored with dull questions about the weather and business.

Flirt. Fuel interest and desire. You are not children to carry on conversations for months on abstract topics. Set the boundaries of what is permitted yourself so that you do not feel awkward from communication.

Do not try to control a man, arrange surveillance, or interrogate him with bias. If you met on a dating site, you're probably not the only one he's chatting with. But if you torture your interlocutor about why he didn’t answer for a long time, who he spent the evening with, why he was online (on the website) but didn’t read your messages, the man will stop communicating. Even spouses have the right to personal time and space, let alone virtual relationships.

‎ Don’t , give the man the opportunity to get bored - don’t respond to messages right away. Make it clear that you have a busy life, many friends, hobbies, and you are not ready to be in touch 24/7. Accordingly, do not demand immediate answers from him either. There are no clear recommendations - to respond in 15 or 20 minutes. If you are busy, you can wait for an answer, if you are free, write, there is no need to turn on the timer.

Reply to messages correctly. Don’t write only about yourself - ask clarifying questions, be interested in the man’s life, how his day went, whether he was tired, what plans he has for the evening. He should feel that you are not indifferent to him, that for you correspondence is not just entertainment.

Signs a man is interested in asking you out on a date

If you have attracted a man and he is ready for a date, he will ask when you have free time, where you live, whether you want to see each other in real life, how you imagine the meeting. Perhaps he will ask what flowers you like best and whether you have watched the new films that are showing in cinemas. Will ask for your phone number if it hasn't already done so.

Invitation methods

The problem of how to invite the man you like on a date worries women who, due to the indecisiveness or slow-wittedness of guys, are left alone. To call a guy for a meeting, any excuse that is relevant to a man is suitable.

If a woman is self-confident, it is enough to directly say about the desire to meet and chat, or you can subtly hint about a meeting or ask for help.

READ Should you give flowers on the first date: tips for choosing a bouquet

In some cases, young ladies send SMS to invite a guy on a date. True, it is recommended to do this if the girl is absolutely sure that he sympathizes with her. It would be a good idea for the woman and man to have corresponded before, otherwise he will be puzzled by the unexpected message and may refuse the invitation.

There is also the opportunity to invite your loved one to see each other through mutual friends. You can invite him to a celebration at your home, as well as to a theater or concert. Such an act will not entail a negative attitude, but women are embarrassed to ask strangers for such a favor.

Hints

In order to be the first to invite a man on a date, the girl hints to the guy that she wants something. Obstacles that prevent a woman from achieving her desire are immediately reported. These circumstances must be decided by the man.

An example is a dialogue in which D is a girl and M is a man:

D. – I haven’t walked in the park for so long!

M. - Why?

D. – Yes, you know, I’m kind of afraid of being alone. If only there was a man next to me...

M. – I’m free now, if you want, let’s go for a walk.

D. - Yes, of course we’re going, I’ll grab my purse now.

Instead of a park, there may be another object - an embankment, a cafe, a cinema. If the guy agrees to go for a walk, then you can use one of the seduction techniques so that the man invites the lady to the next walk himself.

In this case, the conversation does not look as if the guy was hinted at a date. There was no direct invitation, decorum was observed, and he agreed. If he doesn’t like a woman, then most likely he will pretend that he didn’t understand and move the conversation to another topic.

READ Where you can invite a girl on a first date to make it memorable

Masking Intentions

To disguise your intentions, you need to use recommendations on how to invite a guy on a date so that he doesn’t refuse. Then it is better for the woman to pretend to be interested in the work that the young man is doing, and express regret that she does not know how to do the same. When a guy likes a girl, he will willingly volunteer to help her:

D. – What are you doing tomorrow?

M. – I go skiing.

D. - Cool! I wish I could, I have skis, but I don’t know how...

M. - Yes, it’s easy, let me pick you up, the ski track is not far from here. I will teach you.

In this case, the young man does not see the catch; he sincerely thinks that the girl stands for a healthy lifestyle. The problem of how to invite a nice guy for a walk has been solved, but here, in most cases, a man will help a woman only if he feels sympathy for her. Otherwise, he will advise you to enroll in a ski section or recommend a coach.

Sincerity

Many men will accept an invitation from a girl they like with pleasure, so you can openly invite the guy to meet. A woman, confident in her charm, will approach him with approximately the following words: “Hello, Zhenechka! Wouldn’t you like to take a walk with me in the park today?”, “Alyosha! I’ve been waiting for a long time for you to invite me for a cup of coffee!” or “No, friend! Are you completely crazy? When are you and I going to the cafe?” The type of dialogue depends on the level of cultural development of the interlocutor.

READ On what date can you sleep with a man without fear for your reputation?

Ask for help

Unobtrusively asking a guy out on a date is an art that women have perfected over the centuries. One of the tricks was always asking for help. A well-mannered man does not refuse a beautiful lady, so girls often use this move. Example dialogue:

M. – Can you imagine, my boss doesn’t use computers at all. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to work, he sticks his nose in everywhere!

D. – You are such a specialist! Could you check my computer, otherwise it often freezes.

M. – Yes, no problem, send me the address in SMS.

Here the guy is sure that he is being invited to fix the computer. In this case, the girl does not know for sure whether he is helping her out of interest or friendship, but communication during repairs will bring them closer.

When using any of the proposed methods, the girl should sincerely rejoice at the opportunity to go for a walk with a young man. A cheerful or mischievous smile will help let the guy know that she likes him. This behavior will allow him to be bolder. The decision about where to invite a guy on a romantic date is best made in advance.

When to write first

If you are interested in a man - on social networks or on a dating site - try to attract attention by rating his photos, leaving comments, adding to favorites, using all ways to express yourself.

Let’s say you have exhausted the entire arsenal of signs of attention available on the Internet, and the man does not react in any way - then cast aside your doubts and write. Firstly, the taboo of writing first has become very conventional. Secondly, there is only one life, and it is stupid to miss the chance. As they say, it’s better to do it and regret it than to regret not doing it. Thirdly, getting rejected online is not as scary as in real life.

Where to start a correspondence with a stranger

Where to start correspondence with a stranger in order to hook, get an answer and start a conversation. Naturally, no emoticons or banal “Hello.” How are you?" The most successful option would be to start a casual conversation on a topic that interests a man: ask about his hobbies, clarify the details of a recent trip, give a compliment if he watches his figure, eats, or is always stylishly dressed.

If a man has an original status, play him up - it would be good with humor. Your task is to hit the bull's-eye, but do not do it clumsily.

Examples of good questions:

“I see you are into rock music. Have you been to the festival that takes place every summer in the city of N? I’ve been dreaming of going there for a long time.” (Instead of “Cool! I like rock too. What do you like to listen to most?”).
“In almost all the photographs you are with the dog - I see that you are very attached to it. Why did you choose the mastiff - do you like the breed or did you look into the eyes and your heart skipped a beat?” (Instead of “What a cool dog! A dog is man’s best friend”).
“If a man has set the status “Looking for my goddess,” ask her special signs - perhaps you can tell me where to look for her.”

The message should be catchy and encourage a response. Show your feelings, emotions, empathize. Ask an open-ended question—one that cannot be answered with “yes” or “no.”

It is quite possible that the man did not answer you. At all. It is possible that he is busy, but it is better to erase him from your mind, because the light has not converged on him like a wedge.

What phrases to use

Phrases with which you can invite a guy to take a walk together in the lap of nature (in the park or outside the city) should change depending on the degree of education and upbringing of the man. It is imperative to maintain this consistency:

We could take you for a walk in the park.
Would you like to invite me for a walk along the embankment?
Friend, let's hang out in the fresh air.

The first phrase is suitable for a romantic young man; it needs to be said with a thoughtful look. The second one is more suitable for a guy who has been interested in a girl for a long time, but has not yet decided to invite her. With the third, it is better to turn to a relaxed man who is happy to use slang. In any case, one of these phrases will solve the question of how to invite a guy for a walk.

READ Romantic date: 100 original ideas

Intrigue

Like any energy, the energy of love is formed by a difference in potential. To intrigue and remain interesting, you need to alternate between “plus” and “minus”. Let me explain: they gave a compliment (they gave a “plus”, attracted attention) - disappear from sight (this will be a “minus” and will create tension). When you have achieved your goal, the man called for dinner, agree on your terms. Thank you sincerely, but say that you can only allocate two hours for the meeting from 18 to 20. This will make you unavailable, and therefore more desirable.

What to do in case of refusal

If advice on how to get a date with a handsome man did not help, then, having received a refusal, a woman should not despair. The guy didn’t necessarily refuse to meet because he didn’t like his friend. He may have things to do or he may not understand what is behind the girl’s words. If a woman is sure that a man likes her, she should wait one or two weeks. During this time, the sweetheart will be able to adjust his schedule and invite the girl to meet. If there is no invitation, you need to hint at your expectations. The hint should either be veiled more carefully than the first time, or made completely transparent:

What a weather it is! On skis!
I’m waiting, waiting, for someone to invite me to go skiing, I probably can’t wait.

In the first case, the girl unreservedly regrets the wasted weather suitable for skiing. This is a carefully disguised hint intended for guys who couldn't find the time. In the second case, the woman speaks openly about her desires. She wants to be invited to go skiing, but she covers her regret with a slight mockery. With the help of such expressions, representatives of the fair sex invite the young man to be bolder.

Instead of skiing, other excuses are also suitable - barbecue in nature, repairing household appliances, learning the rules of playing chess. Any activity or entertainment in which a young man understands better than a woman is suitable.

If the invitations did not work either the first or the second time, it means that the man does not want to go out with this woman. Then you can try to make him fall in love with you or choose someone else.

Examples of phrases to invite a girl for a walk by correspondence:

Sunny weather is predicted for the weekend. I suggest taking a walk around the city. Will you join me?
I haven’t ridden a bike/rollerblades/skateboard for a long time. Are you with me?
I found an incredibly beautiful place in the city, where you can take so many original photos. I want to show you. Will you go?
I think it's time for us to move from the virtual world to the real one. I invite you to take a walk. Choose where we'll go.
Where do you find such beautiful locations for photographs? Let's take a walk, and at the same time you can show them to me. (this method can be used if you are asking a girl out for a walk for the first time).

What not to do

No matter how much a girl likes a guy, she should remember female pride. It is unacceptable to constantly invite a young man, ignoring his refusals. By acting this way, a woman turns a man against her and loses the opportunity to achieve love. In some cases, temporary removal from the object of passion will provide great benefit.

There is no need to invite a guy to places where his financial viability or physical fitness will not be up to par. Young people perceive such incidents as humiliation; they are unlikely to want to maintain a relationship with a girl who provoked such an ending or simply saw it. You can’t be offended by a guy for refusing to meet, he has the right to it.

Nowadays, girls know how to ask a man out on a date and can use this knowledge to their advantage. But it’s important to remember that a first date is not a reason to relax. Next comes building relationships, so before inviting a guy on a date, you need to decide whether the woman needs such a person.

Dress feminine

The outfit should emphasize your assets: beautiful hips, high breasts, long legs. Don’t confuse sexuality with vulgarity: I talked in detail about what clothes to choose for dating and first meetings in the article “How a girl should dress on a first date if she wants a serious relationship.” Try adding a bright accent to your look: an unusual scarf, a stylish detail. This way you will attract additional attention to yourself and give the guy a reason to approach you, give you a compliment, and start a conversation.