Girls can be confused by the situation when their new acquaintance on the Internet shows an active interest in them and constantly writes, but does not offer to meet. There may be some reasons for this behavior. Let's look at why a man writes every day but doesn't ask for a date - the most common explanations.
He texts you but doesn't find time to meet.
So many men love to text. But any man who sends "Good morning, Beautiful" but doesn't have time to see you is likely sending the same message to several other women. Imagine his inflated ego from messages sent to a bunch of lonely girls.
Don't waste your time, no matter how much pleasure his messages bring you or how suitable he seems to be for you. If he was seriously interested, he would spend time with you in person.
He's making a career
A purposeful man wants to first sort out his work, take a certain position, achieve a certain income, before introducing a girl into his life, having serious intentions regarding her. But at the same time, he does not want to deny himself dates and sex from time to time. As soon as you want something more, the man disappears, since work comes first in his plans, and he does not have time for a permanent relationship. Sooner or later, a man will either try to combine his work with a relationship, or start looking for a girl after he reaches the desired level. Well, let’s leave the workaholics to pursue their careers, and we ourselves will look for an already accomplished man.
He says he's never been in love
It's a difficult question. Some women are drawn to a man who seems vulnerable and admits that he has never been in love, like a moth to a flame. He becomes your "love project" because you think he just hasn't met the right woman (like you!) yet.
Thoughts like these will make you feel stupid when he crushes your dreams. If he has not been in love and he is over 40 years old, he does not want love. Don't give up - please leave.
Causes
Your impatience
You liked the person and you force things. After a couple of days of dating, you are ready to imagine a happy family life. Perhaps your friend feels this and begins to push him away. Nobody likes it when the other party has already decided everything for both. This is one of the most common reasons why a man does not ask for a first date.
How to react to this Some men are in no hurry to rush into the “pool of passion” with each new girl they like. You should shift your attention to something else - for example, to work, study, sports, meeting new men. This way you are guaranteed to get an increase in his interest in your direction. He will feel that some of the pressure coming from you has disappeared, and this will give him the opportunity to appreciate you from the best side.
At the same time, you should not constantly be near the monitor and monitor its messages - this will not lead to anything good.
His shyness
A man communicates, but still does not invite him on a date? There are often people who find it difficult to make acquaintances and take them to a new level of communication. Such a person will prefer to take time to find out for sure how you feel about him and whether you will refuse his offer to meet.
How to react to this You can openly say that you like him and that you don’t mind meeting. The next step is on his side: if he really likes you, he will happily agree to make a date.
He is married
A married man may experience boredom and apathy in a tired life. As a result, he begins to look for bright emotions and impressions on the side. At the same time, he values marriage and family, does not intend to get a divorce, and therefore does not transfer virtual dating to real life.
How to react to this If a guy constantly writes, but does not invite you on a date, decide whether it is worth devoting your time to such unpromising communication. If you find a man interesting to talk to, perhaps you shouldn't end your acquaintance - just don't consider him something important.
He can only offer you friendship
Perhaps he is actively writing to you because he is interested in you, he likes the way you think and reason, but he is not attracted to you as a girl. There could be many reasons why he doesn't feel attracted to you (he likes a different type of girl, he doesn't want a relationship at the moment, etc.).
How to react to this If such being in the “friend zone” seems somehow humiliating to you, it is better to stop communicating. Otherwise, you will become more and more attached to this man, hoping that one day he will see “the one” in you. In addition, after you break off communication, there is a chance that he will look at you with sympathy.
However, you should not hope for any change in his attitude towards you towards romance and relationships.
His desire to form a “round dance” of fans around himself
Perhaps at the moment he is actively meeting and communicating with a huge number of girls, and you are just one of many who have not yet attracted his attention enough to ask him out on a date and offer a more serious relationship.
How to react to this What you definitely shouldn’t do is try to find out his attitude, provoke quarrels and express your suspicions about his “infidelity.” This way you are guaranteed to spoil your impression of yourself, and he will no longer want to have anything to do with you.
The best thing you can do is start communicating with other men or simply switch your attention to some other areas of your life.
The man is in apathy because of his last relationship
When another relationship ends, especially if the breakup was preceded by scandals and mind-blowing quarrels, a person may shudder for a certain time even at the thought of a new union. He can write to you, even every day, but he won’t consider you as a new life partner.
How to react to this If a man told you that his relationship just recently ended and does not invite you on dates, perhaps this is precisely apathy. In this case, you should “let the situation take its course”: if over time your friend develops feelings for you, he will let you know about it.
A man likes to “play” with you
Sometimes a situation happens that a man lives almost nearby, but does not schedule a date.
Perhaps your interlocutor likes to flirt with you, arouse strong feelings in you, hint at a serious relationship, make you jealous, but for some reason he does not want to transfer all this communication into real life. He can even live alone and not have a serious relationship - it doesn't matter.
How to react to this A man calls, but for some reason does not make an appointment? The best thing is to cut off all interaction with such a person, even if you don’t have anyone else in mind yet. With every day of communication, you will become more and more attached to him and will no longer be able to meet other people - a new acquaintance in reality will seem to you not as interesting, passionate and delightful as a virtual one.
How to hint to a guy about a relationship
If you really like a young man, take the initiative by taking a step towards him.
When communicating by correspondence, mention the showing of a new film in the cinema or a concert of your favorite band. Offer to go with you.
If the guy asks why you are making him such an offer, explain that you have known each other for a long time, so you can easily spend time together. Don’t be upset if your interlocutor categorically refuses, but also stop communicating closely. Most likely, the young man is not in the mood for a serious relationship.
Show the man that you are interested in him, but don’t even think about chasing him. Flirt with your chosen one. Write that you are extremely pleased to communicate with him. Unobtrusively ask if he has an object of sympathy, if he is ready for a serious relationship. Ask what kind of girls he likes, what character traits appeal to him. Hint that you like the young man's humor, actions and appearance.
To get a guy to ask you out, make him believe in his own importance and necessity:
- share with your chosen one a good mood and events that happened in your own life;
- ask how he spent his day;
- discuss hobbies, aspirations and endeavors;
- show your willingness to provide support in difficult times;
- Boost a shy guy's self-esteem by telling him how much you respect his opinion and listen to his advice.
If you think communicating with hints is a waste of time, since the young man doesn’t get it, be brave and ask if you can apply for the role of his potential girlfriend. If you are afraid of getting rejected and not being able to cope with your own feelings, clarify the situation by correspondence.
He is financially insolvent
Real men, when they start dating a girl, take responsibility for her. Therefore, the guy you like may not ask you to date because of his financial problems. Maybe he's paying off a car loan, is in debt, or is looking for a job that will allow him to get a girlfriend. The guy believes that he will need to invest financially in the girl: take her on dates, buy gifts, pay for a joint vacation, etc. A serious relationship also involves subsequent joint renting of housing and the purchase of household appliances. Therefore, a man without money may not decide to enter into a serious relationship until his financial problems are resolved positively. There's not much you can do here. After all, you will not help him with money and pay for your trips to cafes and cinemas, so we are looking for a candidate who has no problems with money.
Reason 3. He has financial problems
A man, when inviting a girl on a date, wants to be on top.
If at this moment in his life his “finances are singing romances,” then it’s easier for him not to invite you anywhere than to find himself in an awkward position and ask you to pay for dinner, a movie or a concert. You should not insist on meetings and say that his financial situation is not so important to you. Even a simple walk down the street is fraught with unnecessary expenses (buying a drink or ice cream, riding a carousel, eating at least some pies from a tent). The man will feel awkward, so it's better to just wait.
Call and text more often. He himself will call you somewhere when he solves the problems.
Reason 1: He's not physically attracted to you.
Your appearance type does not correspond to his ideals. Perhaps he likes tall blondes, and you are a short brunette. He continues to communicate with you because you are an interesting conversationalist or a good friend. But he doesn't consider you as a girl.
You can patiently wait for his opinion of you to change or try to change your appearance to suit his ideals. But often waiting or changing is useless. Look around you, other guys will find you attractive both physically and spiritually.
Article on the topic: why guys don’t pay attention to me.
How to be open about your intentions
According to psychologists, the evening time of day is the best time for a frank conversation. It doesn’t matter how you voice your intentions - by correspondence, by phone or in person. The main thing is to offer to move to a new level of relationship in the evening. Then the chosen one will have the whole night to think about the situation and make an informed decision.
Men often suggest meeting in a romantic setting. Invite your boyfriend for a picnic in nature or for a walk under the moonlight. Hint that you need to chat. Perhaps the romantic atmosphere will have such an effect on the chosen one that he will be the first to voice a proposal to move to a new level of relations.
Choose a moment for revelation when the guy is sober and serious. Don't turn the conversation into a joke. Do not drink alcohol before confessing, otherwise the young man will doubt the seriousness of your intentions. It is best to suggest meeting in private, especially if the chosen one is shy.
Be clear about your intentions to avoid ambiguity and uncertainty. For example, you can whisper in a young man’s ear that you have liked him for a long time and want to be together. Or tell him how tired you are of loneliness, how you want male support and care, and then offer to become a couple.
The content of the phrases may vary depending on the situation, but if you choose the right moment, the chosen one will certainly offer to become his girlfriend.
If you really like a pen pal, hint in your next message that it wouldn’t hurt to meet and have a serious conversation. You can first send your interlocutor a poem telling about your feelings, or a corresponding musical composition. This approach will especially appeal to a romantic nature.
Perhaps the guy was ripe for a serious relationship a long time ago, but did not know how to take the first step and not push him away. Help him, and everything will certainly work out for you.
Natalia
Mama's boy 9
There are some men who are “mama’s boys” who consider their mother to be the feminine ideal. In the case when a girl does something differently than his mother does, then this is a fiasco. The girl will fall in the eyes of the man and lose his interest. Such men almost immediately disappear without words and a trace. You shouldn't even run after them. As an adult, you need to understand that all people are not perfect.
Internal contradictions 2
“Do I need it?” - This is a question men often ask themselves. After a failed relationship, fear of starting a new one often accompanies a person. It seems that you like the woman, everything is with her, but doubts do not allow you to move in the right direction. In such a situation, the man spends a long time studying all the pros and cons of the girl and conducts a long analysis. But is this approach so bad? The main thing is that this does not drag on for a long time.
Yes, it is worth mentioning such a moment as a man’s busyness. It is quite possible that he already has a girlfriend with whom he feels good, and the other acts as an alternate airfield. The situation is still difficult.
Reason 10. He just wants to be friends
The man honestly admitted that he wants to be your friend.
He does not consider you as his beloved. You have to make a choice - step aside and accept the status of your relationship or continue to pursue it. If you chose the second, then do the following:
- Try to get to know him better.
- Don't miss the chance to take care or help him.
- Look for common ground.
- Don't miss the opportunity to spend time together.
- Flirt, but don't be too clingy.
- Compliment him, praise him, notice his even small successes and achievements.
- Get yourself in order, appear before him fully armed.
- When communicating, demonstrate ease and wit.
- Be also prepared for the fact that these attempts will not be successful.
Question answer
A guy writes but doesn't ask for a second date?
Possible reasons why a guy is in no hurry to invite you on a second date:
- He did not feel mutual attraction, “chemistry,” but he does not dare to say this honestly.
- I decided that I was not ready for a relationship yet.
- He met another girl and “keeps” you as a backup option.
- On the first date, you talked a lot about your exes, which turned the guy off.
- She was too intrusive, tried to find out every little detail, perhaps focused attention on issues of a material nature.
- You did not demonstrate sufficient interest (you were distracted by your phone, reluctant to answer questions, looking around).
How to hint him to ask him out on a date?
If the guy shows indecisiveness, then hint to him that you don’t mind meeting:
- Show him that you are interested in him.
- Flirt subtly.
- Ask him questions about his interests.
- Use common interests to your advantage. For example, tell him that your favorite band will be coming to town soon, and it would be great to go to a concert together.
- Tell him about your plans. For example, that you want to go for coffee or that you are thinking about organizing friendly get-togethers next weekend.
- Complain that you have nothing to do this weekend.
- Tell her that a friend suddenly got sick and tickets to a great movie are missing.
I invited him to a cafe, but he didn’t say anything?
Wait a little, maybe he can’t answer you right now. If there is no answer, then accept his silent refusal with dignity. Turn your attention to someone else.
Men's opinions
I conducted a survey among men I know, and this is what they said:
“You don’t need to look for a special occasion, the right time or a magic pill. If I like a girl, I usually take it and offer her to go somewhere. Simple and clear."
Arseny, 28 years old
“Empty correspondence is of no use. Either we go on a date or we stop communicating. I value my time too highly."
Ruslan, 23 years old
“I don’t mind at all if the girl invites me for a walk.”
Sergey, 30 years old
“If you like a girl, the guy will always ask her out. Everything else is excuses and attempts to justify oneself.”
Evgeniy, 27 years old
Reason 6. He may be choosing from several girls.
The guy actively meets and communicates with many girls. You are just one of many. You haven't interested him enough yet. Perhaps later he will condescend to offer you a walk.
Don't try to shame him, blame him, or sort things out. Chat with other men, enjoy their attention. Spend more time on friends and hobbies.
