Why do women love women? Love between women has become a fairly common phenomenon and no longer causes much condemnation, although it still makes many people think about such a choice. The phenomenon of lesbianism cannot be considered a tribute to fashion, since it has always existed, now the veil of mystery and censure is only falling away. In the same way, attitudes towards women have changed, starting from gaining the right to significant career growth. All this influences and transforms interpersonal and intimate relationships, in which men increasingly take a driven and passive position. It starts with the active desire of women to get married, but that is not the goal. Every woman wants and seeks love and understanding, and if she cannot get it using the usual standard method, then her search takes on new horizons. The search for tenderness and romance can contribute to this. After all, it is much easier to build a relationship with a person who wants such a pastime than to constantly nag a man and be offended by rudeness or lack of understanding of the candles and roses on the table.
There is also the concept of innate homosexuality and now it is no longer condemned, and accordingly, many women, instead of suppressing their true desires and doomed life with a man, can afford to be in a comfortable relationship with a woman. In many ways, this is a balanced decision aimed at revealing one’s personal nature, as well as caring for other people. In this aspect, an established married couple is no different from a heterosexual one, since what is important for building relationships is not gender and the combination of gender characteristics, but the ability of people to hear the other and build relationships. But there are cases when women choose women after numerous traumas received in relationships with men. With such a development of events, negative consequences, ruined destinies and retraumatization are likely, since the choice of female relationships is not a continuation of the personality itself, but rather an escape from reality. Unhealed traumas will always surface in new interactions, no matter who is involved.
Choosing any orientation is not a deviation or violation, unless the behavior is a consequence of a traumatic experience. Initially, all people are bisexual and each personality contains both feminine and masculine traits that require implementation to the same extent.
All men are...
“Women in my family did not see anything good from men. Grandmother to the question: “Who was grandfather?” she invariably answered: “It burned, and there was no smoke.” My dad got the nickname “cyclist”: he was constantly riding somewhere, and always farther from home. Maybe it’s not surprising that I decided to choose a woman. And I didn’t regret it. We feel good together: we honestly share all responsibilities, even those that men usually run away from.”
Women who treat men poorly pass this feeling on to their daughters. The image of a parasite on the sofa, a “goat” who only needs one thing, who “sails and abandons” is one of the reasons why a woman chooses a woman. Fear, a feeling of disgust towards “animal” men - this is what sometimes becomes the reason for unconventional choices. So, if you want to raise a heterosexual girl, don't hold it against men.
And one more thing: don’t do a man’s job! In pursuit of equality, the woman herself tears the initiative and work from the hands of the man; he has no choice but to lie quietly on the sofa. Due to the heavy workload, a woman becomes nervous, becomes embittered towards the entire male family, and as a result, she either passes on her attitude to the younger generation or leaves the man for the woman.
Inexperiencei
In childhood, relationships between boys and girls are usually very unstable. Today Lesha and Yulia are walking together, laughing and excitedly discussing an episode of their favorite TV series. Tomorrow his friends will tell the boy that being friends with girls is not respectable. Yulina’s heart will break against the wall of indifference that unexpectedly separated her from her best friend and the object of her childhood affection.
But she always has someone to turn to, tell all her secret experiences and relieve herself of the burden of melancholy and sadness. Friend Natasha will always listen, hug and never betray. She likes to communicate with Yulia. After school, girls often spend the night at each other's houses. They have something to keep secret about. And there are much more common interests than with the strange Leshka without his own opinion.
A very strong and close emotional connection is built between young girls during puberty. The boundaries of friendship are often destroyed, because a young soul feels real sympathy towards a friend and is not afraid of being rejected or ridiculed. The point is that girls practice their first kisses and caresses with each other.
And we read more about why girls are turned on by girls in our article further on the link.
It's not even a matter of actually having lesbian inclinations. Just a friend - the closest person. There is not a single guy in the constant environment who could be perceived in the same way as Natasha’s girlfriend. Well, fleeting crushes on girls happen. They, of course, most often end with the appearance of boys and romantic advances on their part.
There is nothing terrible or reprehensible that girls are attracted to girls. It is a well-known fact that females always mature faster than males. This can be seen even in the example of wild nature and its inhabitants. It is precisely because guys don’t even think about sexual experiments yet, and girls are already expecting romance and tenderness with all their might, that short-term affairs with friends happen.
Unhappy love
“My relationships with women began from the moment when one fine day I shaved my head. She did this out of banal, unhappy love for a man. It was then that we discovered that the girls were very close.”
This is perhaps the most common reason for leaving for another love. The inability to build relationships with the opposite sex, resentment, a feeling of loneliness and one’s own unattractiveness, which is typical for many teenagers, can force one to look for love where the competition is not so high. This is the path of least resistance, which will sooner or later lead to disappointment if a person is controlled not by true desires and drives, but by considerations of spiritual comfort. It is better to go through unhappy love alone; a love experience with a woman can lead to such a wall growing between men and you that it will not be possible to destroy it even in a few years.
Stages of development of relationships between girls
Lesbian relationships are in many ways similar to traditional ones, because first of all we are talking about spiritual, moral and moral closeness; physiological closeness is a pleasant addition.
According to the observations of sexologists, in opposite-sex couples, less than half of the women enjoy intimate life. Whereas in lesbian sex, almost everyone experiences satisfaction.
- Acquaintance means getting closer, getting to know personal traits that are invisible or unimportant to others. The girls share biographical details and life experiences, checking compatibility on various aspects of the relationship.
- Interest is targeted attention to this particular person, the study of a psychological type, the desire to understand the motives and preferences of this particular woman.
- Courtship is a clear sign of attention aimed at showing your interest and inviting you to get to know each other more closely.
- Rapprochement is a sensual stage of a relationship, the most frank and responsible. Usually it is initiated by a more mature, experienced woman who is ready to teach her friend all the nuances of same-sex relationships.
- Reflection, introspection – a period of “cooling”, when everyone remembers and checks their own feelings, determines their significance and the need for further communication.
Dances to choose from
“Sex with a woman is more sophisticated, refined, leisurely. And although I love a man’s body more than a woman’s, I find what I need only in a woman’s arms.”
Even the erotic dances of lesbians are different from the way women who love men move. But dance is a kind of imitation of sexual intercourse. The movements of traditional women are more conservative and rhythmic; among lesbians, languor and smoothness prevail, they focus on the chest and hips. If a woman sometimes has sex with a woman, it means she needs it, this is evidence of her bisexuality. She is unlikely to become happy in life: such a “split” of desires is a difficult test, because a person always strives to make a decision. Even the great bisexuals, such as Marlene Dietrich or Madonna (who eventually settled on men), were not looking for diversity, but trying to understand themselves.
Who are the good guys and why girls don't like them
First, let's figure out why good guys lose compared to bad guys in a girl's eyes. You're polite, caring, kind, but instead of trying to get you, she tells you that you're a great friend. But she will buzz her ears about how much she likes the guy from the next office who is rude and ignores her. Good guys work hard for relationships; they are “excellent” in love. They are warm, reliable and... boring!
The guy is afraid of ruining everything, so he avoids risks, scandals, and in the eyes of the girl he quickly becomes a “rag.” He will watch melodramas with her, look sympathetically into her eyes when she openly goes too far with her claims from scratch. A bad guy will not allow himself to be humiliated and his feet wiped all over him. He will be able to define the boundaries of what is permitted and show “who is the man” in a relationship, and girls like it.
Like clockwork
“I get the impression that half the female population of the world has decided that not trying sex with a woman is a sign of cowardice and narrow-mindedness.”
Fashion has a great influence on hobbies. Young people especially obey her. And homosexuality is relevant today. It is no coincidence that the Tatu group, whose soloists have nothing to do with sexual minorities, successfully exploited the theme of same-sex female love. By the way, true lesbians treated the work of this once popular duo with contempt. Although his success was precisely calculated. The desire of young people to be shocking, to imitate (kiss girls, take off their T-shirts, like on stage) does its job. So the mass character and peculiar popularity of same-sex relationships are to a large extent children’s games, which cynical adults invent for them.
What the treatises suggest
Our society is full of all kinds of stereotypes. Most of them are introduced by the science of the human soul, which focuses on statistics and is based on general information. What does a loving woman mean according to psychological theory?
Its first and main characteristic is mastering the art of the golden mean. She knows how to find a consensus between two main forms of relationships: either the gentleman holds her in his fist, or the lady pushes him under her heel. The so-called carrot and stick theory also applies here.
Fight for a woman
“Recently, on the subway, two girls waved their hands at me and expressed admiration for my appearance with loud exclamations. The mood lifted - so what, girls. I need attention, and it doesn’t matter from whose side.”
This is a problem of seeking comfort and low self-esteem. Among lesbians, traditionally male behavior patterns such as fighting for a chosen one are more common today than among men. For a young girl, deprived of male attention, lesbian knightly tournaments in her honor are a pleasant surprise. Self-esteem grows, overwhelming all other instincts and feelings.
About the features of same-sex love
A woman feels a physical and emotional need to love, care, take care, she needs to be with someone, realizing her usefulness. She finds all this in love for another woman. The girl is afraid of loneliness, she is overwhelmed with emotions, and at the same time she is attracted by everything unknown.
Same-sex love between a woman and a woman has been known to mankind since ancient times. At different times, attitudes towards it changed. Today, many people simply prefer to turn a blind eye to this and show indifference. But some people still try to be aggressive, openly condemn gays and lesbians, trying to convince them that their views are wrong.
Love, whatever it may be, has the right to exist. If you delve deeper into history, you can see that there were times when lesbian relationships were considered the norm, were not condemned, and even became a source of inspiration.
The name “lesbian” comes from the habitat of the famous ancient Greek gay poet Sappho, who lived on the island of Lesbos.
10 signs
Women are natural empaths; they easily sense changes in the emotional background around them. If two girls meet, the relationship between them will be filled not only with passion, but also with tenderness, affection, and care. It is much easier for two representatives of the fairer sex to achieve understanding than to do the same with a man.
Signs of love between women are:
- Understanding.
- Similar interests, goals, plans, outlook on life.
- A woman admires other representatives of the fairer sex, often praises them, evaluates their appearance, and does not constantly criticize them, making sarcastic remarks.
- Beauty and harmony.
- Physical compatibility - a woman will better understand the intimate characteristics of her chosen one.
- Rapid development of relations. The two ladies will not hesitate like some indecisive men.
- One of the partners immediately takes the position of a follower, and the second becomes a leader. Appearance does not affect the distribution of roles.
- Confidence.
- Sincere sympathy, empathy on a deep level.
- Excessive emotionality.
Main types
Relationships between a girl and a girl develop according to one of the behavioral models:
- Friendship is a trusting relationship in which communication is based on a strong emotional attachment. Often, friends can be dependent on each other.
- Rivalry - such relationships have a hidden form. They are manifested by the desire of each of the girls to stand out favorably against the background of the other, to surpass her both in external manifestations and in intellectual and professional ones.
- Neutral communication - if women don’t know each other well or communicate little, they are indifferent to each other. As soon as active communication begins, the relationship moves to a new stage.
- Working relationships—this is how female colleagues communicate. Any communication takes place at work; there are no intersections in other areas of life. Such acquaintances do not share their experiences, do not let you get close, and maintain a certain distance.
- Love - one of the partners wants to take care of, give support and support to his chosen one. The second one sees a brave, courageous and determined friend. She did not find these qualities in men, so she is gladly ready to be taken under guardianship, reciprocating.
It is wrong to consider lesbian love a deviation from the norm, a disease. Public morality is a capricious concept. If you don’t violate it or threaten others, then any manifestation of communication is acceptable. A person has the right to choose.
An interesting fact is that women, even after a breakup, are able to maintain friendly relationships without remembering intimacy.
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Causes
The reasons for the emergence of same-sex love between women lie at the heart of their sensuality, emotionality and romance. Since childhood, the girl has been surrounded by care and love. At the same time, memories begin to form, which will subsequently form the basis of relations between the sexes.
Two girls, as soon as they meet, experience mutual sympathy, on the basis of which friendships are formed. But there comes a turning point in friendship, after which it will become clear whether passion will prevail.
Most often, love affection between girls is provoked hormonally. In addition, as a teenager, a girl often tries to go against everyone, break moral norms and rules, while actively studying herself and her body. Sometimes in the person of a person of the same sex she finds the opportunity to taste the forbidden fruit, to explore the boundaries of her sensuality.
It can be interesting why sexual desire arises between modern women. The reasons lie in the female consciousness and subconscious:
- Sexual desire is formed after the emergence of physical attraction, which arises as a result of a deep emotional connection between two girls. They understand and love each other.
- Lesbian infatuation can arise as a result of banal interest, which is especially typical for teenagers or young women. Craving can disappear after contact with the object of passion or intensify.
- Women disappointed in men rarely create lesbian couples. When communicating with another girl, platonic feelings, friendship, and common household activities are more evident, but sexual contacts are excluded or reduced to a minimum.
Sometimes a girl is simply born with homosexual tendencies (a certain set of genes or high production of specific hormones), for her this is a normal, comfortable state, so there is no need to look for additional reasons for attraction to another woman.
Stages of development
Relationships between a woman and a woman develop according to the standard model accepted in psychology. The only difference is that the period between falling in love and love takes much less time than in a relationship with a man. Relationship stages:
- Love.
- Addiction.
- Quarreling.
- Patience.
- Service.
- Friendship.
- Love.
Often girls fall in love with their friends or colleagues. Then the behavior model may change somewhat, since some stages are already present during communication.
Analysis of possible problems
Since mutual understanding arises between women, many communication problems can be avoided. They feel each other well, especially emotionally. It is much easier to understand a person if he wants approximately the same thing. But still, both girls are separate individuals, each of them has their own opinion, vision of the world. Conflicts can arise due to differences in views and common plans.
When running a household together, everyday problems will certainly arise, since each of the ladies will believe that her approach is correct. Here it is important to immediately clearly assign responsibilities and not to venture into “foreign” territory with your advice.
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