If a husband loses interest in his wife, the woman begins to panic almost immediately. Moreover, the stronger the lady is attached to her lover, the higher the intensity of passions. The wife, as a rule, immediately thinks that since her husband has lost interest in her, it means he has found a mistress. The poor woman is killed and suffers. Although, if a husband has lost interest in his wife, this, in principle, does not mean anything. After all, there are many reasons why this can happen, and the scenarios are not always tragic. So, if you ask the question “What to do if your husband has lost his temper?”, then first of all you need to find out the reason for the cooling, as well as the signs of this phenomenon. After all, sometimes women make mountains out of molehills, thinking that everything is very bad, but it turns out that this was completely temporary and did not mean anything.
Let’s first understand that the cooling of feelings is not their loss. It is a temporary phenomenon that tends to return to the starting point. So, if this happens, it means that either the cooling will worsen, or it will pass and everything will be as before.
What are the reasons and signs that the husband has lost interest in his wife, and what should she do now?
Why did the husband grow cold towards his wife?
It’s worth understanding the reasons for your spouse’s cooling off in order to be able to restore family happiness.
Boredom, habit, monotony
Usually passion is born from uncertainty, the unknown, and calm love and warmth are born from stability. After 5-6 years of marriage, spouses may become bored with each other.
What to do: surprise, add variety to family everyday life. Human nature is such that it requires stability and instability at the same time.
Try to maintain elements of romance in your marriage and surprise each other.
Laziness
Love can cool down due to the usual laziness of both spouses. They no longer try to look good and be friendly in each other's company.
What to do: take care of yourself, be as beautiful as at the beginning of your romance, and you are definitely a beauty; refresh your and your husband’s wardrobe, go to a cafe or cinema.
Wife nags
The “favorite” complaint of men, the topic of jokes and contention in many families, is wives “nagging” their husbands. Men understand complaints in such a way that women are always unhappy. It is clear that no woman was born grumpy, and she has good reasons for quarrels.
But if you repeat to a man day after day that he is wrong, it is ineffective and does not bring results. He simply stops delving into the meaning of the words, saying he nags again.
What to do: express your thoughts and wishes specifically and briefly, because it’s difficult for men to listen and talk as much as we do, they simply stop seeing the essence of the conversation. Give your husband and yourself the opportunity to spend some time separately.
We recommend reading:
How to improve relationships with your husband and save your family; Crisis in relationships: Periods, how to overcome.
Wife's inconsistency with her husband's ideal
When falling in love, a man comes up with ideas, completes the image of his soul mate, and then is disappointed because she does not live up to expectations.
What to do: if your husband’s criticism is objective, and you are able to change the state of affairs, do so; if your spouse tries to squeeze you into the framework of an ideal, it is unlikely that you can change the situation and live up to unearthly expectations.
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Frequent quarrels, unresolved issues, old grievances
Over the years of living together, resentment and irritation may well accumulate, which inevitably kills feelings.
It is important to understand whether you or your spouse have dissatisfaction or rejection. In the first case, you don’t like a specific action, word or fact, and if this is changed, the claim is exhausted. If there is non-acceptance: the criticism will be almost endless, and then the indifference of the husband or the two of you to each other will follow.
What could he be unhappy about?
- The fact that he does not feel love, understanding, recognition, support, variety in sex.
- You don't meet his ideal.
What to do: don’t expect your significant other to fill all the gaps in your soul and past. Answer yourself 2 questions: does he feel your love, recognition, etc. (see above)? Are you close to his dream of a Beautiful Lady?
Read What pisses off men in relationships with women
In the first case, you can correct the situation, but in the second, you cannot.
Suppression of feelings, unexpressed emotions
We are wonderful in love and show our best sides, but over time this causes a feeling of tension, it is difficult to always be on our toes.
We feel embarrassed about offending or upsetting our loved ones, and we hold back our true emotions. They don't go anywhere and accumulate like lava in a volcano. Then the feelings result in illness, depression, or on someone you care about.
The cause of a quarrel can be an insignificant trifle. Your partner is surprised and thinks that you deceived him, don’t love him, etc. The tangle of conflicts grows, and it becomes more and more difficult to unravel. You may no longer remember what you are actually unhappy with.
As a result, feelings cool down. But you may not notice changes in yourself, but you notice your husband’s cooling.
What to do: express your emotions with specific words and wishes. Analyze the incident and consider whether it is as critical as it seems.
If you or your husband suppress discontent, it will still result in something unpleasant for you and those around you.
By suppressing emotions, you gradually learn not to feel either negative or positive feelings. And this is the path to cooling in the family. Be sincere and encourage your spouse to do the same.
When you ask what doesn’t suit or bother him, don’t lash out with accusations, don’t be offended, listen and take his claims seriously. Of course, if they are not offensive.
He hasn't cooled down
Or maybe the husband did not lose interest in his wife, but temporarily “withdrew into himself”; what should be done then?
What to do: from time to time it is important for every man to be in his “den”, from where he will not be called out, blaming and suffering without him.
Without periodic “withdrawals,” he simply will not be able to recover for further communication with his beloved. Remember that when a woman talks, she relieves stress, but for a man, talking sometimes causes this same stress?
Consider each other's characteristics and respect his right to be with himself.
Be aware of his physical presence
Common attractions by themselves are not enough to keep a couple together. Once you've reestablished communication and mutual interest, maintain success by creating the right conditions for intimacy. One of the things you can do if your husband's feelings for his wife have cooled is to evaluate your partner physically. Among the things that couples begin to take for granted over time is their appearance.
You begin to notice less changes in your partner's appearance. Make an effort to overcome this inertia and try to look at your partner in a new way. Observe what your spouse is wearing and evaluate the color combination of the suit or other aspects of his appearance. The point of this is to make it clear that the man is not invisible to you and that he is still worthy of attention. This will help the relationship warm up and therefore encourage the spouse to become emotionally invested in the marriage again.
If the husband has lost his temper during pregnancy or after childbirth
Expecting and welcoming a baby into the family is a great joy and at the same time stressful. The life of spouses changes significantly when they become parents. They no longer belong to themselves, their lifestyle changes, they get more tired, sleep less, and are less often alone with each other.
The husband may feel unnecessary, behave defiantly, focus attention on himself, and ignore his wife’s demands.
What to do: sometimes involve helpers for walks with the child. Think about each other and try not to pull the blanket on everyone.
The problem most often is that the husband underestimates the work of his wife as a mother and housewife, and the wife does not understand that her husband wants to be alone and relax. Doing what he loves does not mean that the husband has lost interest in his wife. Restoring strength and nerves is important for both and there is no point in arguing who is more important, this is a dead end.
In what situations should you not continue a relationship?
There are situations in which you need to save not relationships, but yourself.
- Physical violence. If your husband hits you, this will not be the last time. Domestic murders are often unintentional, but unfortunately they do happen.
- Psychological abuse. Your husband humiliates you, offends you, insults you because he feels superior or wants revenge. In such relationships, you receive love in doses or fluctuations, the question is, is it love or neurosis?
- Your husband lives with an addiction, poisons your life and is not going to do anything about it. He is a slave of habit and cannot love himself, you children.
- If your husband has grown cold, says he doesn’t love you, doesn’t want you, doesn’t see you together in the future. Do I need to comment?..
When there are children in a family, it is difficult to separate. But if they see assault, unworthy behavior of parents, indifference or constant scandals, this will be imprinted on their subconscious as the norm.
It is important for a child that mom and dad are happy and love each other. If a husband has lost interest in his wife and nothing can be fixed, it is better to separate. In this situation, I recommend reading the article - How to decide to divorce your husband.
Discover common interests
Another positive way to energize your marriage is to return to activities you both enjoyed early in the relationship. Think about all the things that brought them together - it could be a passion for dancing or a love for mountain biking.
Buy tickets to the game if you met at the stadium, or try a new restaurant in town if you're both foodies. Learn something new together so that you not only have something to talk about, but also be able to rediscover each other's character traits that have long been forgotten.
Once you start participating in general enjoyable activities, it is likely that you will regain your interest.
What is better not to do if your husband has lost his temper?
Is the saying “all's fair in war” true when it comes to family battles? What about cooling off the spouses? There are several actions that can make a difficult situation worse or more confusing.
- Blackmail. Women are cunning creatures; they can persuade or threaten anything. Love, respect, trust are unlikely to return only from under the stick.
- Non-existent pregnancy. How else can you stun a man if you don’t achieve what you want? Pregnancy! Even imaginary. Girls do this, unfortunately, without thinking about what will happen if the truth is revealed?
- Involve third parties. Is it worth putting family and friends in an awkward position? Advice to spouses is often one-sided, as well-wishers have a distorted view of your problem.
- Denying sex out of revenge. It is unlikely that the husband will start looking for another woman the next day, but if he constantly refuses, he can find one who will not reject him.
- Saying “I don’t like.” In general, you can only say such words if you really disagree. What is said in anger leaves its mark.
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Before deciding what to do if your husband has lost his temper, you should think about the consequences of your actions. Don’t forget about the goal: you want love, restore your old relationship, then the solution methods must match.
