Girls almost always notice a man's interest in them, no matter how carefully we hide it. And it would be a mistake to refer to some kind of natural female insight here; the point is not in women, but in the men themselves. Men are straight as a stick, absolutely predictable, and the ability to disguise and hide their love interest is for the most part not characteristic of them. We will not take into account talented professional actors, but for most men this statement is true.
Women often seem unpredictable and mysterious. Professional scientists explain this by differences in sexual behavior, but this time we will not get carried away with research within the framework of this article. Our task is to determine that the beauty opposite us liked us. Yes, it is obvious that this article is written for men. Girls, we warned you!
Next to you she changes2
Yes, if you approach her at a party, and she, who was chatting carefreely with her friends a minute ago, suddenly greets you with cold silence, this can hardly be called a sign of attention. Quite the contrary. But if a girl gets embarrassed and starts to get nervous in your presence, this is a sure sign that she cares about you. But it can manifest itself in different ways. One will start uncontrollably chattering about everything in your presence, while the other, on the contrary, will remain embarrassedly silent and twirl a curly lock of hair around her finger... By the way, fiddling with beads, constant attempts to straighten her hair, or an uncontrollable desire to tug at her own hair or clothes is also a sure sign that the girl is nervous. And if she is nervous in your presence, this is a reason to wonder why.
What to do with all this
If you are also attracted to the flirting woman, then the further course of events is clear: invite her on a date or invite her to chat in a comfortable and private environment.
Well, if you are indifferent to her, then you must understand that a harsh refusal or ridicule can hurt other people’s feelings.
Communicate with the girl politely, without singling her out from others. Women read emotions better than men, so she will soon understand that she shouldn’t get her hopes up about you and will back down.
She follows you on social networks3
Now social networks are a reflection of our lives. And if a girl is interested in you, she can start following your page, reading your posts, liking photos, commenting on reposts. If she likes literally every new photo of yours, and this happens almost immediately after you post it, then she spends a lot of time on your page.
What could be the reason for such interest? If you yourself have at least once spent a long time looking at recent photographs of a girl you like, you know the answer to this question. And taking into account the fact that in most social networks you can see exactly who and when gave you the next like, the girl does not hide her interest in you. But you shouldn’t use this as an argument, because she can always hastily retreat and say that she didn’t even think of anything like that. Use this as a reason to take your first step forward. Unless, of course, you care about her too.
Why people flirt: 6 main reasons
What motivates people to start flirting? Professor David Dryden Henningsen from the USA in 2004 studied a lot of literature on the topic of flirting and identified 6 basic reasons why people flirt:
- Human motivation for sexual intimacy.
- Just an easy and relaxed pastime. Flirting is perceived as a sport.
- The desire to get to know a person better, to understand whether he is suitable for you for a serious relationship.
- An attempt to take an existing relationship into a more intimate direction.
- The desire to assert oneself through flirting and increase self-esteem.
- The desire to receive some kind of selfish benefit from a person.
While conducting the research, Henningsen surveyed 200 of his students: 99 boys and 101 girls. They were required to offer an example of verbal flirting, as well as indicate the motivation of each of the participants. The results revealed the following: men predominantly pursued the goal of having sex, while girls focused on getting closer to their partner.
Her body is giving you unconscious signals4
This is already from the field of psychoanalysis, which, although it underlies modern psychology, is not considered a scientific direction. Old Freud simply took many things from personal experience, without any verification or explanation, and it is not customary for scientists to rely only on their own experience. But nevertheless, some things noticed by psychoanalysts may turn out to be close to the truth. So, for example, it is believed that if a girl’s body is turned towards you during a conversation, and the toes of her shoes are pointing at you, this means interest and sympathy. Is it true? The question is controversial, but many girls have read about it, and use this technique already quite consciously. So it will do just fine as an indirect sign of her interest in you!
Spouses should flirt too
For some reason, there is a stereotype in society that only single people can flirt. But for spouses who have been legally married for a long time, the excitement and mystery disappear, the relationship becomes more “everyday” and does not bring such vivid emotions as before. And this is where flirting comes to the rescue.
Professor Brandy Frisby conducted a survey of 164 married people in 2012. As a result, she came to the conclusion that the overwhelming majority of participants continue to regularly flirt with their partner: they whisper obscene words in his ear in front of strangers, touch each other under the table, and so on. Through such flirtations, they emphasize their closeness and “create their own separate world,” Frisby said.
But how to do it right?
- Praise your chosen one. Give him compliments, preferably not trivial ones, although they can also be used sometimes. It is important with what intonation and emotions you express praise and admiration for your other half.
- Look with a languid gaze. Flirting includes not only words, but also implies manifestations of body language: facial expressions, gestures, emotions. With their help you can convey even more than words. Therefore, learn to express your feelings through your gaze - this is the first and main stage of flirting.
- Touch sexually. Do this carefully, not too intrusively; if there are other people around you, then your advances should not be noticeable to them. Your goal: to provoke excitement in your partner, cause goosebumps, improve your mood and set you up for a romantic continuation.
- Hint about intimacy. Don't limit yourself to the previous paragraph. Show more playfulness and frankness: gently touch your partner, breathe languidly in his ear, sit in revealing positions. This can be done both at home and in public places (the latter often revives long-forgotten emotions, causes excitement and increases attraction). But, of course, do not play games in public, but do everything quietly and not provocatively.
Truly, flirting is an entire art that needs to be learned and skillfully applied in practice. The following thematic video is also offered to help you:
She laughs at your not so funny jokes5
Okay, let's be honest, if a girl even laughs at every joke, she's probably just drunk. Or not entirely adequate. But if your personal humor evokes an emotional response in her, there are two explanations for this. The first is quite simple - you and she are kindred spirits and you like the same jokes. It’s great if this is the case, because if you succeed in something in the future, it will be easier to find mutual understanding. Secondly, the girl doesn’t find your jokes that funny, but she wants to show you her interest and laughs at them. What to do with this information? Decide for yourself.
Main features
Understanding that a girl is flirting with you is actually quite simple. First, take a closer look at it. The intentions of a flirting man are usually quite clear, but the fair sex sends more subtle non-verbal signals. The gentleman’s task is to be able to recognize them and take a step towards her. Observe the girl you are interested in and see the signs that reveal her feelings.
Accidental touches
She brushes non-existent specks of dust from your shoulders, straightens her tie as she passes, and lightly brushes her thigh against you - when a girl flirts, her whole body seems to be striving to meet the man. It’s hard for her to resist touching the object of her affections.
Find out how a woman feels about you by her reaction to your touch.
For example, lightly run your hand along her back, passing it forward, or tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear:
- withdraws, tenses, becomes withdrawn - alas, you are not the hero of her novel;
- embarrassed, moves towards you - she is also interested in you.
Next to you she changes
A cheerful, laughing woman suddenly turns into a mysterious and aloof person or, on the contrary, a modest woman is trying to be the center of attention - women behave this way when they do not understand how to appear before their chosen one in a favorable light.
Of course, they want to please a man and thus flirt.
Or they get nervous because you are nearby and begin to behave unnaturally. The main thing is to understand that the sudden change in behavior is not associated with any other factors: a glass of alcohol, mood swings, phases of the moon, or even anyone else in your company.
She follows you on social networks
Girls attach great importance to activities on social networks. If this person is one of the first to view your Instagram stories and likes every photo, then most likely she is interested in you.
Likes for women are a way of flirting.
In advanced cases, she also carefully monitors who you give hearts to. And if a girl is in love, then rest assured, she has already conducted an investigation and found out the names of all your exes, the number of the school where you studied and even the name of the pet you had as a child.
Her body is giving you unconscious signals
Even if a woman is silent, like a partisan, and does not admit her sympathy, her body speaks for itself. Next to the guy she likes, the girl unconsciously tries to look better: straightens her hair, clothes, sits up straighter.
On a subconscious level, she draws attention to her shape: she sticks out her chest, fiddles with the buttons on her blouse, crosses her legs and strokes them. If her body and the toes of her shoes are turned towards you, she is interested in what you are talking about, and you yourself are interesting. By the way, a man next to someone he likes gives himself away in the same way through gestures and facial expressions.
She laughs at your not so funny jokes
Psychologists suggest how to find out about hidden sympathies in a company: when everyone is laughing together, the one who wants to get closer to the lady will try to catch her eye.
And to understand who in the group is in love with you, tell an unfunny joke and see who laughs the loudest.
If a girl is ready to morally support a man and laugh even at jokes that clearly didn’t work out, these are signs of her feelings for him. The signal “a girl is flirting with you” has been given, then it’s up to the man.
She wants to make you jealous
Completely desperate ladies resort to attempts to provoke jealousy. It’s not without reason that a woman tells you, as if inadvertently, about fans or an ex who is still begging her to come back. You will be indignant in the depths of your soul: “Who would even think of flirting with you in this way?!”... And you will be right.
But the girl, apparently, has already tried all the methods, and none of them worked, and now she wants to finally make sure whether she is indifferent to you or not.
She wants to make you jealous6
Perhaps the stupidest and most clumsy way of female flirting, but still widespread. Casually remembering your ex, going to dance with another guy, rewarding you with a defiant look, distributing signs of attention to all the men around you except you - there are a lot of similar nonsense in the women's arsenal, but for some unknown reason they think that it works. It probably really worked for some people. But you are already aware, which means you are armed, so don’t start being jealous with or without reason, but simply draw conclusions. However, you can support this game and start making it jealous. Better yet, read Gone with the Wind, and don’t deny that the book is for women and written for women. You will learn a lot of interesting things about female flirting first hand.
What is flirting?
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Flirting (from English “flirt” - coquetry, courtship, love game) is a set of verbal (speech) as well as non-verbal (facial expressions, gestures) actions that express sympathy for a person. Often, serious relationships begin with flirting, although it can simply serve as a love game in order to attract attention.
Interesting! According to doctors, happy people prefer to flirt: by flirting, they relax, increase self-esteem, and improve their mood.
Show your interest:
- Use body language.
- Be delicate.
- Talk to her about her.
- Tease her.
Use body language.
Body language can sometimes convey things much better than words. Certain gestures, facial expressions and facial expressions will say everything for you. Some clever tricks to flirt with a girl using body language:
- you must maintain eye contact. Always look a girl in the eye when you talk to her. You shouldn’t look at other people, look at your phone, or just look at the ceiling;
- Don't keep your arms crossed over your chest. It is best if you actively gesture with them, as if confirming your words;
- lean towards her when you tell her something. And if you are sitting somewhere together, then try to be a little closer to her. But you shouldn’t go into the personal space zone. Lower your voice sometimes - girls love it.
- smile. Show her that you are in a good mood. This way you will create a relaxed atmosphere and the girl will feel more comfortable;
- no need to slouch. Watch your posture, you must sit straight. This pose will add more confidence and nobility to you.
Be delicate.
Try to develop such qualities as delicacy and sophistication, because it is on these that all flirting is built. The point is not to tell a girl directly that you like her. And do it in a playful manner.
Here are some tips on how best to do this:
- learn to give non-trivial compliments. Try to impress and amaze her, give out something original, something that she would definitely remember;
- make her feel special. She doesn't need all these cliched phrases that you told other girls. Say something unique about her, and she will definitely appreciate it.
Talk to her about her.
What is the best thing to ask her:
- In the meantime, find out how she likes to spend her free time. Does she prefer to stay at home and take a break from everything, or does she love parties, fun and noisy companies;
- if suddenly a girl starts telling you about her family, be sure to ask if she has any brothers or sisters;
- don't forget to ask if she has pets. This is another topic that girls will talk about forever;
- Find out her opinion about some stupid little thing. For example, ask how she feels about guys who like the color pink. This will cheer her up and relieve stress.
Tease her.
Once you realize that there is no longer any tension between you, you can begin to lightly tease her and tease her. This will demonstrate your good sense of humor and make flirting more original.
Here are some good tips:
- you can laugh at her interests. Don't be afraid that the girl will be offended by such an innocent joke. Most likely, she will laugh and want to answer you with some kind of barb in retaliation;
- You can joke a little about her appearance. If she's wearing too much jewelry, you can tell that she didn't have to wear her best all at once. But do it not in an angry or serious tone, but in a humorous manner;
- joke about her laugh, because often many girls laugh really funny. There is nothing offensive in this if such a joke is said in a kind way.
How to flirt with a guy correctly?
There are several simple rules of flirting that simultaneously attract a man, but at the same time allow you to remain within the bounds of decency:
- Eye contact . It’s not for nothing that they say that a woman’s gaze is an insidious weapon. If a girl is not yet familiar with a man, then it is enough to periodically look at him with an interested look. Of course, if he didn’t understand this hint, then you shouldn’t stare at him all evening. Also, when making eye contact, a slight smile is acceptable;
- Maintaining casual conversation . Once the acquaintance has taken place, the best way to consolidate success is to discuss interesting and at the same time neutral topics. For example, if the conversation took place over a glass of wine, then you should praise his taste bouquet and at the same time ask what the man’s preferences are in this regard;
- Humor and attractive speech . You don't need to tell jokes for an hour, but a couple of harmless jokes certainly won't hurt. You can also tell funny stories from your life. The pace of speech should be slow and the voice should be low. Men don’t particularly like having things babble at them quickly and loudly;
- Appropriate compliments . Any person likes to hear praise. But here it is important to know when to stop and take into account the male character. A guy won't be particularly impressed if a girl compliments his nice shirt or hairstyle. It is better to tell him that he is interesting or note his sense of humor;
- Using body language . A slight tilt of the head to the side will let the man know that the girl is interested in his speech. If the conversation took place in a cafe, then sometimes it’s worth leaning on the back of the sofa, placing one hand on your thigh. This position must sometimes be changed to another - the body is slightly tilted forward closer to the man sitting opposite, and the hands are leaned on the table, but the fingers are not interlocked;
- Light emphasis on your appearance . This includes twirling a strand of hair around a finger, fiddling with a chain around the neck, biting the lower lip, etc.
What can't you do?
- Don't be too direct.
- Don't be careful.
- Make time for both flirting and serious communication.
Don't be too direct.
If you don’t leave some kind of riddle, but say everything directly and openly, then no flirting will work. You stupidly tell a girl that you like her. All the charm of this game is lost.
Forget about the phrase “I want to kiss you.” Or the question “Can I kiss you?” It looks pathetic, why should you ask permission for something? If you want to kiss, kiss. All. Flirting phrases should not be banal either. The only answer you need is “yes!” So get moving and wake up the man in you!
Don't stare at her breasts and think of complimenting her. This is disrespect for the girl and a clear hint of sex.
You don't need to focus all your attention on her. You may seem too annoying.
Don't be too careful.
If you are too careful, you will show that you exceed its importance. Shaking and worrying about the outcome of a date is not the behavior of an alpha male. But you shouldn’t be cold either; girls aren’t interested in being with such men. How to find the edge?
Give some hints that you like her. For example, through flirting, compliments, touching. Otherwise you will quickly end up in the friend zone. For the rest, rely on her response and act according to the situation.
