The girl stopped writing, what should I do?
To begin with, it is important to determine why this happened. If the girl “stopped” writing first, then it means that she used to do this, at least periodically. So what factors could change this?
She "took the first step"
For many girls, writing first is a rather serious step in dating or relationships. By writing to you, she thereby demonstrated her interest in your person and made it clear that she was willing to communicate. Now, in her understanding, you have made certain conclusions, and nothing prevents you from taking reciprocal steps.
She became interested in someone else
Perhaps the young lady wrote to you first only until she met another young man she was interested in. If she is committed to building relationships, she will probably focus on the most promising option and will not be scattered in several directions at once. Apparently, for some reason, the choice was not made in your favor.
She's tired of taking the initiative herself
For a period of time, she always or almost always wrote to you first, and one day she simply got tired of it. Perhaps she decided that she takes the initiative too often, and this is not entirely correct. She could also assume that since she regularly has to initiate dialogue, then you yourself are not too interested in this. This state of affairs could offend or upset her, so in the end she simply decided not to write anymore herself. In this case, most likely, she will react positively to your initiative - for her this will be confirmation that, after all, you were not answering her out of politeness, but were really interested.
Psychologist's advice
A situation where a relationship with a beloved woman is destroyed before our eyes unsettles even the most self-possessed and strong guy. Often, when trying to correct the situation, men make many mistakes that repel the lady more.
In order not to worsen the situation, psychologists advise men to listen to the following recommendations:
- do not call the girl and stop writing endless messages on the Internet - this behavior is not entirely normal and can alienate your beloved even more;
- do not blame her, trying to relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening;
- do not pester her friends and relatives with questions about her;
- forget about obsessive displays of attention;
- do not try to evoke pity;
- do not drink alcohol to show her how hard it is for you;
- do not become depressed, try to lead a normal lifestyle;
- do not try to arouse jealousy at the expense of another woman - the risk of losing the girl forever is too great.
Take a time out. Don't throw yourself into the pool headlong. Only a cold mind will help you find the right way out.
It's good when misunderstandings in relationships are resolved quickly. But if there is no communication with your beloved girl for more than three weeks, then you do not need to count on a positive outcome of the meeting. The most a guy can hear is: “Let's be friends.” If you do not want to lose a woman dear to your heart, do not bring the situation to a critical point.
How to act
It is important to calm down and wait. Suddenly the girl calls back
Let's look at what to do in such a situation.
- You must realize that a phone number is not a guarantee that they will definitely start a relationship with you.
- There is no need to call an infinite number of times and, especially, write messages with reproaches and questions. This is how you point out your inadequacy and weakness.
- There may be several reasons why this happened, perhaps you don’t even know about them. Therefore, you need to cool down and wait a little. Perhaps she will call you back.
- Alternatively, you can try to get in touch with her using social networks. Try to show your good side by carefully studying the information on her page. Find common topics of conversation.
- Try to identify the possible reason for her silence. Think about how the meeting went:
- she enjoyed the communication or was looking for a reason to leave quickly;
- was there a smile on her face, did she like what you said;
- did she engage in dialogue or ask questions?
By answering these questions, you will understand whether there was really interest or just a desire to break up as quickly as possible. If the young lady still showed interest in you, then perhaps the girl is not picking up the phone because she can’t or, for example, the phone is on silent mode and she has not yet seen the missed calls.
As you can see, there are many options. If you call and don’t hear the girl’s voice on the other end, there could be several reasons why. The main thing to remember is that frequent calls can cause negative emotions in a young lady. Control yourself and be patient. If your communication should take place, then she will definitely call back.
Should a girl text first?
In general, if a girl is interested enough in you, then she may well write herself. She may also take this step if you are a fairly popular person. It may be that you simply don’t know each other yet, but she knows something about you in absentia, and she is attracted to it - in this case, she may also be the first to show interest.
Of course, when communication between interlocutors proceeds in a normal manner, it does not matter which of them initiates the conversation. If the girl is not sure that you are waiting for her message, then she is unlikely to send it to you.
Obsessiveness
Another fear is to be intrusive, sticky, annoying. Wouldn't you think that about her if she wrote first? Is it convenient for you to receive her SMS so early in the morning? Or will it be distracting during working hours? Won't you be annoyed?
If a girl doesn’t respond to messages at all, then I recommend reading why in my article (opens in a new window). If she responds quite actively and constantly, then you can exhale - she really likes you and she gives you the green light.
Is there any point in calling multiple times?
“I’m calling a girl, she doesn’t answer the phone, I’ll keep calling until she answers” - if this is about you, then it’s time to understand that such actions are unacceptable, and in very rare cases lead to a favorable outcome.
- You must understand that if a young lady accidentally missed your call or could not speak at that particular moment, she will definitely call you back. If her action is deliberate and she deliberately does not want to communicate with you, it means that your endless calls will not only not be able to influence the situation, but will anger the girl even more; you are older and simply hateful to her. And, if you also start bombarding her with messages with reproaches or threats, then, most likely, the young lady will begin to treat you like a maniac, and will certainly not want to maintain a relationship.
- You can call a maximum of three times, although in some cases this is too much. Between the first and second call you can take a short pause, but before the third call you can take a longer one.
- If you had a meeting and agreed on a date, then this is not a reason to bother you every five minutes with your phone conversations. With such obsession you can only scare away the young lady.
- In any situation, be patient and calm. There are times when after two calls a guy already despairs and decides that the girl is ignoring him, and then it turns out that she simply could not speak at that moment.
The girl shows no initiative
In fact, there are many reasons for this behavior, for example, the lady is afraid of seeming intrusive or she has no desire to communicate with you. Let's try to figure out the reasons for women's silence. A few examples of why a girl doesn’t write:
- He believes that it is the man who should write first, a fairly common stereotype among women.
- The desire to nullify communication. A girl may be frightened by excessive male activity and such a desire to communicate.
- Wants to get your attention in this way. She thinks the more she ignores you or keeps you at a distance, the more interest you will develop in her.
- There just isn't enough time for social media. Perhaps the girl is very busy with school or work, and based on this, she simply does not have enough time for the Internet.
Such reasons usually occur during recent acquaintance; as a rule, after a long period of time, the dialogue appears on its own.
Too caught up in what's going on in her life2
This is the girl you probably don't want to be in a serious relationship with because she's too busy to give you time. It’s worth giving her time to sort out her life so that she can take her mind off everything that’s happening around her and stop discussing the latest fashion trends and her boss’s new haircut with her friends.
If she still hasn’t noticed you in the huge information flow around her, most likely you should stop trying to attract attention with messages and calls.
Should a guy text a girl first?
If you don't know each other, to interest her
Of course, if you want to get to know the person you like, and hope to arouse reciprocal interest on her part, then it is quite natural to write first. Some guys, wanting to attract the attention of a person, simply like her photo or simply add her as a “friend”. They sincerely believe that they have taken the “first step”, and now it’s up to the potential interlocutor. However, the vast majority of girls have a completely different opinion on this matter. Sure, it's possible that your photo or special information on your page "speaks for itself," but often that's not the case.
If your acquaintance did not attract her
Here you need to look at the situation. If you were not able to immediately interest the lady sufficiently, then, most likely, subsequent attempts should still be postponed for some time - from several days to several months. It is obvious that today you do not arouse her interest, and if you absolutely want to win the favor of this particular girl, you should show her that some changes are taking place in your life that, in your opinion, will interest her. Seeing this, most likely, she will get in touch herself or will be more willing to respond to your next message after a while.
After the first meeting
Of course, after such a meeting you should write to the girl or call. Moreover, this is usually what women expect. They need confirmation that everything went well, that they met expectations, and if the guy is silent after the meeting, this can cause anxiety in the young lady. However, sometimes this anxiety can play into your hands. And yet, situations are different, if you have a goal to hook a girl who has not yet shown strong and obvious interest, then write to her not immediately after the meeting. But if your chosen one sincerely likes you, and she openly demonstrates this, then show reciprocal attention and, if possible, show your interest.
She was told something unpleasant about you6
Girls constantly discuss young people, if a couple of days ago you wrote to ten of her other friends, rest assured, she already knows about it, and if she stopped responding, most likely she was not impressed by your promiscuity.
If she knows your ex, this is the biggest setback, especially if you broke up on a bad note. Most likely, they have already washed your bones and considered you unworthy.
Don't despair. This situation can always be corrected by the same conversations with mutual friends.
Why, why does a girl or woman stop communicating without explanation or apparent reasons?
If it seems to you that a girl has begun to communicate with you less often, then ask her directly for what reason. You shouldn’t invent it yourself, as you might make a mistake.
Possible reasons:
- Resentment. The young lady is angry for some reason. Moreover, the reason may be quite simple. There are people who are very easy to offend, since they themselves do not mind playing the role of a victim. In this case, you should leave the girl, because the grudge games will continue forever.
- Different interests. This happens after a short conversation or a first date. The girl does not see a future in your relationship. The couple should look in the same direction.
- Workload. Usually the fair sex warns that they will be busy. The workload may be due to work, school or family matters.
- The desire to separate. This is certainly not the best way to end a relationship, but many girls and men resort to it. They simply stop calling and texting each other without warning. This also happens. Therefore, if your partner does not communicate and ignores your messages, do not insist.
Why, why does a girl or woman stop communicating without explanation or apparent reasons?
