Unconditional love is so different from the love we are used to receiving that most of us don't really know what it is.
Nowadays, “love” refers to various forms of infatuation, passion, intimacy, attachment, codependency and selfish needs and this is not about true love.
True love is a rare and incredibly valuable feeling. The moment you experience true unconditional love is the moment you feel fully seen, understood, forgiven, accepted and able to love yourself just as you are. It is the most all-encompassing and liberating feeling you have ever experienced.
Unconditional love is the most healing force in the universe. But unfortunately, we become so hungry in our daily lives that we become emotionally and spiritually unhealthy. One of the saddest looks you will ever see is from a being who has been deprived of unconditional love.
“Love is long-suffering, it is kind, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love never fails, although prophecy will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished.” Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Unconditional love means loving someone or something without any conditions. In other words, no matter what the other person says, does, feels, thinks or believes, we still love them unconditionally. Unconditional love can also be applied to other beings such as animals. But perhaps most importantly, unconditional love can be applied directly to ourselves.
The more we are able to love ourselves unconditionally, the more we will be able to love others in the same way. This principle echoes the famous words of Jesus, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and other enlightened masters such as Lao Tzu, who said, “When you accept yourself, the whole world accepts you.”
“If we generalize everything that is called love in the world, then we get a certain intense feeling mixed with physical attractiveness, the desire to possess and control, as well as with dependence, eroticism and novelty. Such “love” is usually short-lived and changeable, and depending on the circumstances it either grows or decreases. When plans are upset, then in place of this emotion often appears anger, which was previously hidden under the guise of love. It is widely believed that from love to hate there is only one step, but what is being said here is not Love at all, but rather a sentimental feeling of dependence.” Dr. David R. Hawkins
Conditional love is the exact opposite of unconditional love. In fact, conditional love is not “love” in the truest sense of the word because it comes from the ego and not from the heart.
Unlike unconditional love, which is given freely, conditional love must be “earned.” When this false form of love is earned, only then is love, respect and kindness given.
While unconditional love is limitless and vast, conditional love is constraining and limited. While unconditional love does not need anything, conditional love is given only when something is received.
What is love?
Love is affection and aspiration for someone (the object of love), a feeling of deep sympathy. It is a set of positive psycho-emotional states, from simple pleasure to sublime virtue.
Due to the variety of shades of meaning and the complexity of the feeling itself, love is one of the most difficult states to define and describe. Love can be for the Motherland, for the mother, for children, for a man or woman, for God, for oneself, and all these are different sets of feelings and states.
Typically, love is characterized by strong attraction and emotional attachment.
In ancient Greece, there were several types of love: romantic (eros), family (storge), friendly (philia) and sacrificial (agape). Romantic love is often accompanied by a feeling of euphoria (opens in a new tab).
Love can also be unrequited and platonic.
The Harm of Unlimited Acceptance2
On the one hand, such an attitude can be very useful - for example, when it comes to the connection between mother and child. But in the romantic realm, unconditional love leads to unhealthy situations. A sexually mature man or adult woman is not a baby who is unable to change himself for the sake of building quality relationships in society.
And unconditional love becomes especially dangerous in a partnership built on the principles of BDSM. In such a couple, everything rests on the exchange of power, delineation of clear boundaries, and devotion to their Master (Mistress).
Where can I get unconditional love?
Unconditional love lives within us. It is a mistake to look for it around, in the outside world. Anyone who tries to earn love through their actions is usually disappointed when they do not receive the kind of attitude they expect in return.
This can cause grief and resentment, disturbances in the psycho-emotional state and illness.
Unconditional love is selfless and does not require anything in return. By directing his love outward, a person himself is filled with love even more and becomes happier.
Here are some effective ways to practice unconditional love for yourself and others:
Whenever you experience emotions that are not love, accept them rather than push them away.
Since childhood, we are taught to avoid and suppress “negative” emotions. Hidden emotions begin to create darkness. The practice of accepting how you feel instead of fighting to stop the emotion or artificially forcing yourself to be happy. Respect your emotions and the messages they bring.
Practice mindfulness and connect with your body
How do you feel your body? Do you feel pain, fatigue, stiffness, tension or heaviness? Practice consciously observing these sensations without judgment. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to relax. Observe your body and allow whatever you feel to be, you will have access to deeper levels of peace.
Accept your negative thoughts and habits
Remember, it is normal to struggle with negative thoughts and habits. It is important to remember that these thoughts and habits do not define you - you accept their existence, but you should not identify yourself with them. Accept your tendency to be negative and even self-hating. Even self-hatred is an opportunity to forgive and practice unconditional self-love.
Ask yourself: “Am I putting conditions on this relationship?”
Be honest. Does someone's behavior or beliefs prevent you from loving them? It is normal to feel angry and sad towards another person. What can you do to open your heart to the person or group of people in your life?
5. Give something to another without wanting anything in return.
You can try this little practice every day. For example, you could pay a compliment, do someone a favor, let someone go ahead of you in line, or do any other form of help that will brighten someone else's day.
Be aware of the triggers that make you disconnect
Triggers are wounds within us that have not yet healed. When someone touches our unhealed wound, the triggers cause us to react with anger, isolation, and even hatred. By paying attention to your triggers, you will develop more self-awareness. The more mindful you are, the more you can practice self-love and forgiveness of others.
Forgive others (and yourself) and set yourself free
Forgiveness is an act of self-liberation. You don't forgive others for the sake of being a self-righteous saint, you forgive to release the weight of resentment from your heart. Think about all the resentments you may be holding right now. What can you do to find peace through forgiveness?
Practice loving yourself and others “as is”
Unconditional love means accepting all the good, the ugly, and the ugly about yourself and others. Remember that no one is perfect and no one can ever be perfect. Life is a constant journey and growth. Don't love others based on what they look like, who they are or what they do, love a person exactly as they are at that moment, simply because they are worthy to be loved. The same advice applies to you: embrace all the pain, wounds and imperfections within you. Love without conditions.
What is unconditional love? It is unconditional self-acceptance and openness towards yourself and others; it is the most powerful force in the Universe.
I hope you now have a clear understanding of the meaning of unconditional love and how to start applying it in your life. If you have any questions or would like to schedule a consultation, please write your question in the comments on social networks, and for consultations, contact me using the feedback form or by phone by going to the contact page.
Unconditional love for children
Mothers usually love their children with unconditional love. No matter how the child tests her patience and nerves, forming his character, no matter what he does, his mother will always love him. This love is an example of love without conditions, which we all should love ourselves, our loved ones and in general everyone, without exception.
A mother's unconditional love is very important for young children. When a child feels loved regardless of his actions, mistakes and failures, he seems to be safe and feels protected. In conditions of unconditional love, it is easier for him to develop and learn about the world, his psyche and sense of self are formed correctly.
It is important for a parent not to forget about the unconditionality of his love for his child and not to stop showing love, despite his behavior or grades received at school.
My 3-year-old son, after I play with him, feed him something tasty or give him a ride, often says: “Dad, I love you very much.” And when I scold him, he calls me a turd. This is the kind of conditional love he has now. Having the greatest need for love, young children prefer to love for something specific.
The equation looks like this:
I will only love you if _____ (you do this, say this, provide this, make me feel this way).
Conditional love is inherently selfish and self-centered. Conditional love only lasts as long as certain unspoken rules are maintained or followed.
Some of the most common unspoken rules behind conditional love include:
- I will only love you if you make me feel good.
- I will love you only if you look attractive.
- I will love you only if you are successful and popular.
- I will only love you if you have a good career.
- I will only love you if you do what I say.
- I will only love you if you believe in what I do.
- I will only love you if you support my bad habits.
- I will only love you if you keep giving me money.
- I will only love you if you are good in bed.
- I will only love you if I can control you.
- I will only love you if I approve of your life decisions.
- I will only love you if you behave correctly.
- I will only love you if you sacrifice something for me.
- I will only love you if you give up your dreams.
- I will only love you if you love me.
You can see how conditional love is doomed to failure and absolute misery.
Relationships with your partner, children, family, friends and parents can be conditional love. Many of us have experienced these types of shallow relationships.
Unconditional love does not need to be earned or proven. It is eternal and endless. If you want to learn to experience unconditional love, you must be willing to change your habits.
Unconditional love for God
Deeply religious people love God with unconditional love. They do not need confirmation of reciprocity and reciprocal feelings on his part. Everything that happens around is perceived as God’s providence, accepted with love and humility.
It was with unconditional love that Jesus Christ loved everyone and with its help healed the souls and bodies of the people he met.
The concept of unconditional love is used in various meditation, spiritual and healing techniques. For example, practitioners of Theta Healing (opens in a new tab) fill themselves, their loved ones and other people with unconditional love. Using the energy of unconditional love in Theta Healing, instant healing is accomplished.
A person filled with such energy becomes happier and more successful.
Do you want to be filled with unconditional love? Then this is the place for you.
Egoists are around us i
Supporters of the idea of unconditional love believe that only complete egoists and manipulators make demands on another person. Unconditional love is considered a certain standard, a symbol of progress. Are you dating an alcoholic guy who alternates his date with you with a week-long binge? Does your girl wear a thin strap instead of a skirt that attracts the eyes of every man? It’s nonsense, if you don’t accept your partner with all his desires and character traits, it means you don’t have the ability for unconditional love. This is exactly what any proponent of this concept will say.
Love yourself unconditionally
I don't think you should sacrifice your own well-being for another person. Even if we can love a partner unconditionally, this does not always mean that we can maintain a long-term relationship with him. After all, if a person has hurt you and you feel that it is better to leave this relationship, no matter how much you love him, then that is what you should do. You can, of course, forgive a person, but when he really needs you, then you should always remember that you need to take care of yourself. You must first love yourself unconditionally!
Unconditional love between a man and a woman
“Give people your love! What do you have to lose except your loneliness? , - words of John Kehoe from the book “The Subconscious Can Do Anything!”
How often do you encounter unrequited love? Tears, disappointment, mental pain and the worst thing - disbelief.
Lack of faith in life and other men.
How do you become loved, how do you become the desired and only woman? How to fall in love with a man?
The most important thing is to understand that everything in life is given to us either for happiness or for valuable experience!
And we simply need this very experience, because without it we will not be able to attract what we want into our lives or we will not be able to keep it. Therefore, you need to first of all understand that if one relationship failed or ended in unrequited love, then this means that you have gained very valuable experience that will help you attract your true love into your life!!!
In addition, this experience of unrequited love makes yours even richer and more beautiful! Therefore, mentally thank the man, thanks to whom you are now one step closer to your true love.
And now about the most important thing - what unconditional love is.
In our lives there is an undeniable law of the Universe - the LAW OF GIVING. One of the most significant. It states that
“You need to UNCONDITIONALLY give what you want.”
Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin, and a medal cannot exist without one side. And the law of life is that first you need to give, and then only perhaps you can receive something in return.
And whether you receive something in return or not depends on how unselfishly you gave.
How can this law be applied to men in order to become loved and desired?
Men are very sensitive to women who have “I want to get married” written on their foreheads on a subconscious level. Men read this in the first few seconds, and since men are often afraid to get married, they immediately avoid such women.
A man is a conqueror, a hunter, he needs a riot of feelings and emotions, he has a natural need to “hunt” a woman and conquer her, it is important for him to feel his taste of winning. And then - bam, and she just wants to get married... Where are the feelings, where are the emotions? Where is the desire to conquer this particular woman?
Where are the feelings, where are the emotions? Where is the desire to conquer this particular woman?
Therefore, it is important to radiate goodness and love into this world. Unconditionally give love to people
Be open and radiant. There are even special ones for learning to truly enjoy life and begin to emit a magical inner light. Let yourself go and reboot your feelings!
There are some very cool sayings,
which accurately express the essence of unconditional love. Which show what you need to do to attract love and please a man.
“He who takes fills his palms, he who gives fills his heart...” - Lao Tzu
“You can’t stay in the shadows if you emit light yourself,” I don’t know whose beautiful words these are
“Unconditional love - love without pretensions - is the only chance to evoke a reciprocal feeling. Give up the desire to receive and appropriate something, love just like that, without expecting anything, and then, perhaps, a miracle will happen - they will love you. The stronger the desire for possession, that is, reciprocal love, the stronger the action of equilibrium forces that will do everything “out of spite.” Love without conditions, without the right of possession, does not create relationships of dependence and generates creative, positive energy. Only unconditional love can create a miracle - reciprocal love,” Vadim Zeland, “Reality Transurfing.”
Disappointing conclusions due to errors9
Adherents of unconditional love believe that partnerships can be comparable to parent-child relationships, although in reality the latter have a completely different neurophysiological basis. A sexual relationship for an adult is much more complicated, which is why not everyone can live “happily ever after.” And in the end, unjustified expectations lead to disappointed conclusions: “Only mom is worthy of love (only dad is worthy).” Perhaps this is so - the only question is what kind of love?
An adult does not live under the care of his parents: he is forced to constantly deal with the external environment and its changing conditions. Humans are hardwired to survive and succeed—whether it's finding food, shelter, or quality relationships with sexual partners.
Are you a believer in unconditional love? To be honest with yourself, answer the question: how would your feelings change if your partner cheated on you? Would you be genuinely happy that he was having a good time with another member of the opposite sex, and would you encourage him to continue to do so? If not, then there can be no talk of any “unconditional love” in a relationship.
The view of psychologists 5
The founder of the concept of unconditional love in psychological science was Carl Rogers. He put forward the idea of unconditional acceptance of the client.
This was one of the main techniques used by Rogers in psychotherapy. He showed his clients full support and acceptance, no matter what they said or did. Rogers believed that all psychologists should treat their clients this way.
Partner Acceptance
What about the things you don't like about your partner? Are you ready to live with these things, even if they bother you? In order for a relationship to develop successfully, this is necessary. But remember the main thing is that we cannot change a person so that he becomes what we want him to be. He must be willing to make changes on his own. And mostly for my own sake, not for yours.
For example, your partner goes out with friends every Saturday night to relax and does not invite you. You don't like it. You ask to change this somehow, but he insists on spending the evening only with friends. Are you ready to accept this? Or will you make a problem out of it? Yes, we should be able to “make sacrifices” for the people we love, but we should also be able to fully accept them for who they are. Perhaps this is really important to him, or maybe this evening away from you is the reason your relationship remains strong.
