- September 9, 2018
- Psychology of relationships
- Epifantseva Anna
What to do if you meet your first love many years later? There is a story in everyone's life that is remembered more vividly than the rest. Memories of that person overshadow all subsequent ones, no matter how vivid the emotions experienced afterwards. As if he gave something that others could not give. You are drawn to him at the slightest memory of those events, and if you meet your first love years later, you are seized by a real storm of emotions mixed with curiosity. What to do here?
Ideal image
First of all, you should be aware of one thing. You once communicated with this person, and then broke up. And there was some reason why this happened. Why did it happen so? Probably, circumstances got in the way - moving, different plans for the future. Maybe for some reason you yourself interrupted communication. Or perhaps the object of desire did not want to continue. But there is only one conclusion from this situation: if a person burns with love, he always takes a thousand steps towards being together and turns the world upside down. And this thought should sober up from the surging fantasies. The peculiarity of the psychology of a lover is such that there are and cannot be any barriers for the one who loves: people destroy entire families and change cities in order to achieve reunification with their soulmate. Therefore, you need to understand that since you didn’t do everything possible, maybe you didn’t want it that much? There was a reason that held me back from reuniting with this person; my intuition probably did not deceive me. If you resume communication now, these traits will appear again. If that side did not want communication, then does it make sense to focus on one thing in order to suffer forever? A person who once left will again discover the reason why he left. In this state it will be easier to make a decision.
Causes
Psychologists say that the importance of first strong love is high. She tends to acquire over time a veil full of thoughts: “With him I would be happy. If only everything could be returned and corrected!” It may seem that you will never meet anyone like him again. This happens due to idealization; usually there is nothing real behind this idea. This is the most common phenomenon that every person encounters. Your case is not unique. Essentially, these are the thoughts of a child. If you don’t continue to think like that, then you will become very happy with others. After all, you are the master of your thoughts, and not they you? If this is a problem, watch your thoughts: what were you thinking about a minute ago? Now take any new thought that was not in your head, and think only about it. You will notice that it will begin to appear among your thoughts. This proves that you yourself can control what runs through your thoughts, if, of course, you want it.
First love can happen at 12, 18, 22, and sometimes even at 40 years old. During it, a person acquires a unique experience, he discovers hitherto unknown emotions. Everything is seen in a completely different light. This experience influences all further communication with the opposite sex. If the separation was peaceful, there were no mutual grievances, then this positive aftertaste will transfer to the next relationship. When there is a lot of pain and dissatisfaction left, a person experiences suffering, he begins to try to find compensation in other people.
From a psychological point of view, the first serious feelings are a real personal test. The personality will be “built” in accordance with the characteristics of the experience of a given situation. Like any strong surge that unbalances a person, love destroys the previous personality, and what kind of personality will be built later depends only on the lover himself. The irresponsibility or absurdity of a breakup sometimes turns into trauma and great resentment towards people. Such a trail sometimes follows a person, always serving as a reminder that he missed something important. And thoughts come that hope for happiness is lost forever. But this is the purest illusion. And there is not a single person who has not broken wood in the past.
Do men remember
Many women are concerned about this very question: what to do if a man does not forget his first love? After all, he can rush to search for her. But the answer is already in the description above. If you could not notice the answer, then I will provide a clearer answer, depending on the male type:
- Narcissus. He enjoys real life, which is why he doesn’t care at all about what happened in the past. Thanks to frequent changes of partners, he provides himself with new adventures. His life schedule is so busy that there is simply not enough space in his memory for memories from the past.
- A regular guy. This type has a calmer life. He doesn't have a ton of partners. There is a limited number of girls. Maybe from time to time, remember strong feelings experienced in the past. But for him the conditions of existence are of great importance: he wants to be satisfied with his life, as well as his feelings for his current girlfriend.
- Shy boy. What can we say, the complete opposite of a “narcissist”. This type of man is not popular with the opposite sex. Because of this, he fondly remembers his past love. But to his regret, the lady, in turn, is unlikely to remember such a man. In all other respects, the same nuances can be attributed to a shy boy as to an ordinary guy.
It is impossible to answer en masse for all men whether he will forget his first love or not. It all depends on the individual qualities of the man and his life circumstances.
Do you think it is possible to forget your first love or not? Share your opinion in the comments.
Little love
There is no situation that does not depend on you. If a person has built his life successfully, then the first feelings will be a pleasant memory and nothing more. New emotions received in your current personal life will come to the fore. And for some, meeting their first love many years later will be a reason to reconsider their life, to ask themselves the question: “Am I really happy now?” If you are strongly drawn to what is gone, perhaps something in your current lifestyle needs to be changed. As a rule, in such cases, the temptation to meet your first love after many years becomes very great. If both people are free and willingly surrender to the power of feelings, this is ideal. Be sure to plunge headlong into this pool! But the situation will be different when the choice arises - to destroy your family or not.
Why do you think that you will always remember your first love?
