How to motivate your child to study

Why do children go to school?

We know why: to get an education, go to college, become a full-fledged member of society, etc., etc. All this is clear to us, but is it clear to a child? At what age is a conscious concept of why knowledge is needed formed? After all, you can attend classes for various reasons: under pressure, out of inertia, because everyone is learning, in order to match the environment or surpass it, in order to achieve success or avoid failure, simply because it is interesting. All these reasons are called motivations, external and internal. Not all of them are equal. The most talented will not demonstrate their full abilities if they do not want or are not interested in learning, if there is no confidence in the existence of a direct connection between study and success in life.

Extrinsic motivation : Parents need their child to learn. So they force him to do this, using the famous principle of carrots and sticks: they punish him for deuces, treat him with candy for fives. The question is - how effective is it?

Internal motivation : the child declares: “I want!”
and doesn’t go to the movies with everyone else, but sits down to draw. Or read a book. Or even solve problems. The child is interested in learning new things, realizing his abilities, and overcoming difficulties. The stimulus in this case is the subject of knowledge itself - interesting and fascinating. For each one.

How to increase your child’s motivation to study - advice from a psychologist

In short:

Teach in a playful way;
Don't blackmail the student;
Gain trust;
Support your child's hobbies;
Praise even for a small achievement;
Do not compare the student with other children;
Minimize stress;
Be interested not only in grades, but also in the knowledge gained;
Tell us about your studies at school;
Tell us about professions;
Learn to set goals and achieve them;
Broaden your student's horizons.

The game form is the best in teaching primary schoolchildren. While playing, they easily absorb useful information. An important difference between this form of presenting material is the absence of assessment of the student’s results. You can organize the presentation of material in the form of a quest, where you need to apply the appropriate knowledge and skills to achieve a new level. Children will see their own gaps and receive an incentive to study. Practice the method as needed.

The game form is the best in teaching primary schoolchildren

Blackmail is not the best motivational tool. If adults threaten to deprive a child of a desired gift for getting C grades in subjects, this will cause him stress and internal resistance to acquiring knowledge. It is no secret that teachers do not always objectively assess students’ preparation for the subject. Any student can get a C for a lesson, even with diligent preparation.

Instead of blackmail and threats, it is advisable to gain the trust of a little person who has difficulty overcoming life's adversities. Ask him which objects he likes and which ones cause irritation or fear. In a confidential conversation, find out the key points and try to help the baby.

If adults threaten to deprive a child of a desired gift for getting C grades in subjects, this will cause him stress and internal resistance.

The hobbies of a little person are not an empty pastime, but an important aspect of the development of personal data. Do not impose your own interests on the student, let him develop the talents inherent in nature. Perhaps his hobby is music or movies, photography, sports. The task of adults is to help them realize themselves.

Being passionate about one school subject is a great excuse to increase your motivation. We need to fully support this interest, find additional information and videos. If a student begins to improve his knowledge in one (favorite) subject, he will soon become better at other subjects.

Try to broaden your child’s horizons, show him the world from different sides. Explain that every school subject is closely related to life and has practical significance, find a way to prove this with simple examples.

Don't forget to praise. Small regular rewards are much more important than one valuable, but rarely received, gift. They stimulate you to study new material and achieve good results. Never reward your child for success with cash prizes or expensive gifts: this will create a need to raise the tariff bar and turn the learning process into a business.

Encouragement or praise stimulates learning new material and achieving good results.

Nothing lowers self-esteem more than comparison with others. Because a person cannot become different even with all the desire. We are all individuals, even our fingerprints are different. Parents must understand that responsibility for their child’s failures lies entirely with them. This means they were raised incorrectly. But many parents try to shift their blame onto the fragile shoulders of their offspring. Praise your baby more, love him with all his strengths and weaknesses.

It is difficult even for a high school student to cope with the volume of educational material, let alone first-graders. Tell us how best to cope with new responsibilities, do not scold the student for his mistakes. A child has the right to receive bad grades; he does not have to be an excellent student.

Remember that emotional reward is a powerful incentive to take action. Sometimes praise goes beyond gifts or cash prizes: the student feels proud of his achievements and will try harder in the future.

Do not forget to be interested in what new the student learned in class . If parents are only interested in good grades, this approach devalues knowledge. Over time, a child may lose motivation to learn new things.

Tell your child how you studied at school, what difficulties you encountered. It is important to make it clear that any obstacles can be overcome through joint efforts. The child should feel friendly support, not criticism and the inevitability of punishment. Any word of encouragement, said at the right time, is valuable for motivation.

Tell us how you studied at school

Tell your child what professions there are. Find out what he wants to be when he grows up. Explain that mastering a profession requires knowledge that can be obtained at school. Give advice on how to study better to become successful.

School education is still far from perfect, so you shouldn’t rely on it alone. Enroll your child in thematic clubs and provide him with the necessary literature for additional education.

Motivation to study among primary schoolchildren

In elementary school, a child can study quite successfully, focusing on the teacher’s assessment or the opinion of his parents. The baby is poorly aware of the value of knowledge itself. Favorite items often include items that contain an element of play and fun: work, drawing, physical education. At this age, most children are dominated by the desire to please an adult, respected person, to please him with their successes and, on the contrary, an unwillingness to listen to his reproaches.

“I study because if I get a bad grade, they will scold me.” Lena G. 1st grade.

“I study for my mother. She gets upset when I can't keep up. I feel sorry for her". Masha P. 2nd grade.

“I study to be smart. My dad is very smart, and I should be the same.” Lisa G. 1st grade.

It should also be taken into account that the meaning of the word “learn” in a child’s understanding can be much broader than just the acquisition of knowledge. The child also includes the desire to see friends and play in the concept of school studies. All these activities can and do serve as sufficient incentive to “endure” boring lessons. Conversely, poor relationships with peers can also negatively affect academic performance.

Question : Is extrinsic motivation so bad? Is it really in conflict with the inner one? After all, any work should be rewarded. If diligence is not rewarded, fatigue and apathy will inevitably set in. In addition, the student can simply feel the benefits of good study. It can become a habit, like good manners.

Psychologist : Without a doubt, at a certain stage, especially in the lower grades, you cannot do without it. Take advantage of this time! You can still force your beloved child to study better. While your care and control are still beneficial for the child.

You just need to observe moderation: the main thing should remain knowledge itself, and not the sweet pie received as a reward.

Why extrinsic motivation doesn't work

When we say: “Do this and you will get this,” the child initially perceives the promise with enthusiasm. At the same time, his instinct of self-preservation also kicks in.

The child begins to look not for a creative way to solve a problem, but for the most reliable and shortest one.

He asks himself: “Why take the risk and take the test yourself? It’s better to copy from an excellent student, it’s more reliable.” It turns out that there is a substitution of goals: not studying for the sake of knowledge, but studying for the sake of receiving an award.

External motivation can work great, but only in combination with internal motivation. By itself, it does not move forward, but forces you to “serve the number”, to quickly get what you want, cursing what you do for the sake of it.

How to motivate your child to study in high school

Although interest in specific subjects still largely depends on the personality of the teacher, gradually at this age respect for adults loses its relevance. The desire to be better or at least no worse than other classmates comes to the fore. Psychologists call these “prestige motives”:

“I love it when teachers praise me.” Yaroslav G. 5th grade.

“If there is to be - so, to be the best! I like getting straight A’s, being the best in the class.” Misha K. 4th grade.

You should not blame your child for vanity: this is normal for a certain age. Later, with the development of personality, the place of these motives will be taken by others, less dependent on external factors. And the desire for praise will remain in the background, making the student’s school life brighter and more attractive.

Question : Why is competition so bad? After all, the so-called “prestigious motives” is the same competition.

Psychologist : Competition in the real world is inevitable. Our whole life is a race. The problem is that an unformed nature can be unsettled by the first setbacks. It is more useful to compete not with others, but with yourself.

Motivation to study among teenagers in high school

A condition for successfully mastering the school curriculum (and not only) at this age is the desire to gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.

“I love learning something new every day! I’m wondering myself: how much can I remember?” Lena F., 9th grade.

Teenagers begin to realize the usefulness of acquired knowledge as a means to gain something even more valuable.

“I want to speak English fluently. Read Shakespeare in the original." Masha B. 7th grade.

“The main thing in life is money. Most troubles, most quarrels in the family occur due to their absence. I want to earn a lot, then everything will be fine for me.” Sasha V. 8th grade.

Question : What can be said about overly ideal and overly mercantile motivations?

Psychologist : You shouldn’t express your dissatisfaction out loud: you will only do harm. Children just haven't learned to lie properly yet.

This largely depends on the judgments of the father and mother, plus youthful maximalism. Over time, both will smooth out and stop shocking others. The people around are different: some work in libraries for a meager salary and feel satisfaction from communicating with beauty, others actively earn money.

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Where to begin

Restoring motivation to study is a long process, and success mainly depends on parents. Adults first need to think about the three Cs: content, cooperation and freedom of choice.

Content. When a child does not comply with our demands, we look for ways to influence his behavior. Start somewhere else: think about how reasonable your request is. Probably nothing bad will happen if a child gets more than just B’s and A’s in physics. And children ignore the request “not to make noise” not because they are naughty, but because of the psychological characteristics of their age.
Cooperation. Unfortunately, many parents are not familiar with this word in the context of communication with their child. But the older your children are, the more often you should involve them in cooperation. Discuss, explain, make plans together. Try talking to your child like an adult. There is no need to be hostile to the desire of a 15-year-old boy to become an astronaut. Calmly explain why you think this is unrealistic. Perhaps in your words your son will find internal motivation for growth.
Freedom of choice. The child should feel part of the process, then he will be more responsible in solving problems. When he behaves badly, ask him why. You may argue that you already know what it is, but try it anyway. The answer may surprise you!

How to form motives for studying in graduate classes

In the graduating classes, the workload increases sharply, and classes oriented towards higher educational institutions are allocated. The old abstract messages: “a lot of money”, “a lot of knowledge” - are no longer suitable. Success is achieved by those who clearly know what they want and who made an independent, specific professional choice early on.

“In 11th grade, I decided that I would enter MGIMO. Mom and dad thought that I couldn’t do it and advised me to choose another university. But I still got in! I did it myself!” Lydia G., first year student at MGIMO.

“I wanted to finish school as quickly as possible and become independent. Now I’m studying as an evening student and earning money myself.” Tatyana K., first-year student at Moscow State University of Technology and Technology.

“My mother was a teacher. Maybe that’s why I felt my calling back in the seventh grade. At the same time, I organized patronage for the lower grades and help for those lagging behind.” Teplova O.I. Honored Teacher of the Russian Federation, two-time Soros grant winner.

Question : How to solve the problem of freedom to choose goals and school curriculum? Some objects will still be a burden, perceived as an unnecessary burden.

Psychologist : In this case, the following motive will work: these lessons need to be done in order to do what is interesting, so that they do not spoil the certificate when entering a chosen university.

Is it possible to develop motivation?

Alas, modern psychology claims that it is impossible to form the notorious motive from the outside. Each person must do this himself. Teachers and parents can only facilitate this process or, conversely, hinder it, which, unfortunately, happens much more often.

There are a number of theories, sometimes paradoxical, about ways to increase internal motivation in the educational process. Sometimes these methods are quite controversial, sometimes they are simply not applicable to the real situation. Therefore, we will limit ourselves to a few practical tips:

Try to set the student up for a positive result. If your son regularly makes 15-20 mistakes in dictations, but only 10 were found in the last one, praise him for it! There is a small but success.
Don't make him promise to do the next task perfectly. Such a task is impossible!
Punishment for bad grades (spanking, deprivation of walks) never brought any benefit. It, as well as phrases like: “Homework must be done by five o’clock!” can only be used when you know for sure that your son or daughter was fooling around instead of doing his homework. If a child spends three hours studying textbooks instead of the required two, praise him: he is interested, he is trying.
Do not rush to offer your help when completing tasks. Do this only when you see that the child himself cannot cope.
Do not overdo it with prizes and awards for academic success. The main prize should remain the knowledge itself!
Be careful in competitive situations. (There are only three prize places, and there are 25 people in the class!) It is better to teach your child to analyze and compare their own results and achievements.
Do not impose a goal on your child from the outside. In this case, its achievement will be necessary for you, not for him! Enroll your children in clubs and developmental sections. Try to identify their own interests. Even if all your life you have dreamed of seeing your daughter become a mathematician, but what she loves most is cross stitch. It’s better to accept: she won’t make Sofia Kovalevskaya, but perhaps Coco Chanel will.
Try to identify an element of intrigue and mystery in the tasks. “Entertaining Mathematics”, “Problem Book” by G. Oster, all kinds of puzzles and puns, stories about travel and great discoveries will help to captivate your child with school subjects.

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Reasons for reluctance to study

Young schoolchildren, teenagers and students have different attitudes towards learning. Therefore, the reasons for reluctance to learn are also different. If first-graders attend school with pleasure and rejoice in the teacher’s praise, then in middle grades the situation changes. On the one hand, this is due to a change in teaching staff. On the other hand, the attitude towards students is also changing: much more is demanded from them, they are treated more strictly.

The child does not want to study

If younger schoolchildren can be motivated to study by interesting material or a playful way of presenting the material, then for high school students this approach is ineffective. Teenagers strive to show the world that they are becoming adults.

Here are the main reasons for low motivation to learn:

age discrepancy;
conflicts with teachers;
conflicts with students;
physical defects;
family conflicts;
pressure from parents.

Age discrepancy

Some parents get excited about the idea of raising a child prodigy and load the little person with all sorts of information in order to surprise everyone. Moms and dads strive to send their children to school as early as possible, taking away a carefree childhood. This is a selfish approach to one’s own child, who becomes a hostage to the ambitions of adults.

Only school psychologists who see that the child is not psychologically ready for school can bring parents to their senses. Mental development is not always combined with the willingness to sit without moving for a long time. The child can learn, but it is difficult for him to maintain attention for a long time.

Conflicts with teachers

For some children, a careless word or an incorrect remark is enough to become offended. The student holds a grudge inside, worries, and has difficulty learning the material. The teacher does not always understand the reason for failure. If moral teaching and punishment for bad grades are added at home, then the little person may become withdrawn and begin to hate studying.

Conflicts with students

Every child goes through this. Someone can fight back and designate their personal inviolable space, while others become a laughing stock for their classmates. Parents should closely monitor the child’s behavior, academic performance, and state of mind. If you miss the problem, psychological trauma can negatively affect not only your studies. This is especially true for teenagers, whose self-esteem often suffers.

Conflicts in the family

Daughter ignoring her unhappy parents
If a student does not have mutual understanding with his parents, then it will not be easy to establish the learning process. A student finds himself caught between two fires: at school he is scolded for poor preparation for lessons, and at home he receives punishment for bad grades. In such an atmosphere, it is problematic to motivate a child to study: he closes himself off from the world and considers life unfair.

Physical defects

Adolescent children are exceptionally cruel to various physical disabilities of their classmates. Not all, but many. They mercilessly ridicule bodily defects, tease, and offend. It goes to stutterers, children with glasses, tall people, and awkwardly built children. Often students with physical defects are afraid to attend school, do not want to study, and suffer because of their appearance or speech characteristics. Such a student should definitely be shown to a psychologist; a professional will try to save him from emotional trauma.

Pressure from parents

Some parents are so passionate about their children’s progress that they don’t notice how they are beginning to suppress their child with their demands. They force the child to be the best and threaten punishment for bad grades. Some of them even scold for straight A's, demanding exceptional grades. Such responsibility places an unbearable burden on the shoulders of a small person, he loses interest in acquiring knowledge and motivation. This is a protective reaction of the psyche from parental despotism.

Mom scolds her child for getting "C" grades in school