Forming a child’s personality is the first step in preparing him for adulthood. This is an important task for parents and society, and it is not limited to just teaching certain skills. To raise a mature personality, it is necessary not only to tell him about discipline, self-care and the like, but also to instill moral and ethical standards and spiritual values.
What is personality formation
Personality formation is a complex process that is not interrupted at any stage of human life. Simply put, it is infinite. The very concept of “personality” is very multifaceted, and there are two popular professional views on this phenomenon. One of them says that the formation of a child’s personality depends on natural innate data. The second opinion indicates that personality is a social phenomenon, and only society influences its formation.
In fact, the entire period of a person’s life, from birth to adulthood, is a process of personal growth or degradation. It is believed that development occurs in activities that are significant to the individual. The driving force can be called internal contradictions between the needs of a growing child and the real possibility of their implementation. The child’s activities are almost always determined by the parents and, to one degree or another, directed by them. Conclusion: the process of upbringing is the leading factor in the formation of a child’s personality.
Definition
The phenomenon of family is studied by philosophers, historians, psychologists, and writers. There are dozens of definitions of this concept; the most succinct one calls the family the cell of society in which the birth, formation and development of a person takes place. The psychology and behavior of the person living there, as well as success in life, depend on how harmonious the relationship is and how comfortable the home is.
It would not be an exaggeration to say that the role of the family in the development of personality is fateful. It is primarily through the efforts of parents (or spouses who founded the unit of society), and secondarily through other relatives, that the education system is laid out and implemented. What it will be like (including its effectiveness) depends on the way of life of past generations, on the emotional and physical health of parents and children themselves, financial and social situation, place of residence and many other factors. It is fair to say that a person is educated by absolutely everything that surrounds him.
If the educational measures chosen by the parents are correct, then this very quickly begins to manifest itself: first in the child’s preschool and school age, then in work and social activity. Also, the wrongly chosen vector in raising children becomes visible already when the child begins to attend preschool educational institutions.
The spiritual culture of a person is also developing, and a social orientation is being formed. Since their small team represents a micromodel of the whole society for children, at home they learn to interact with other people, form life attitudes and make plans for the future.
A person learns to get to know others, starting with his closest people. Ideally, people living under the same roof build warm relationships with each other and become a small team in which everyone has their own role. Through this role, a person enriches himself and enriches the lives of his loved ones, giving them every chance for self-realization.
Nowadays, when society and the media are doing everything to destroy the integrity of the individual, the family is that stronghold of love, purity and comfort where a person finds himself and shows his best qualities that will help him fulfill his mission in life.
Phases of personality development
There are three phases in the formation of a child’s personality
Adaptation
Lasts from birth until adolescence. The individual assimilates social experience - he adapts, imitates, adapts. During adaptation, there is an active adoption of social norms and mastery of various forms of activity. Having shown his own individuality in the group, the child cannot express himself as an individual until he masters the norms existing in the group.
He feels the need to be like others, adapting as much as possible in society. We can talk about a kindergarten or school.
Group activities can provoke the emergence of favorable conditions for the formation of the child’s personality and those traits that were not previously inherent in the individual, but which are characteristic of other members of the group.
Personalization
The child has a desire to oppose himself to others, to stand out. A critical attitude towards the norms of society and established social rules is formed. The impetus for individualization is the contradiction between the result of adaptation and the need for personalization that was not satisfied at the initial stage. The search begins for methods that help in gaining individuality and fixing it. This can manifest itself in behavior, clothing, speech, and so on. If, during the formation of a child’s personality, he has successfully coped with adaptation, then gradually he begins to understand that individuality is being lost. The individual mobilizes internal resources and begins to search for a society capable of providing the necessary personalization.
Integration
The child has a desire to find his place in society, to fit into society. Integration is easy if society accepts the person. Other results are also possible. A person tries in every possible way to preserve his difference, which leads to aggressive interaction with society and people. Integration is characterized by contradictions between the subject’s desire to demonstrate his own individuality and the community’s desire to cultivate and approve only those individual qualities of the subject that correspond to its preferences.
What factors influence the development of a child’s personality?
Many factors influence the formation of a child's personality. From a number of theories put forward by various psychologists, the main idea should be highlighted: personality development occurs on the basis of natural data, self-awareness and life experience. Formation begins at an early age.
Internal factors influencing: temperament, inherent at the genetic level. External factors: upbringing, social level, environment, and even the current era.
Many experts believe that genes have a significant influence on personality, containing information about the ancestors of the mother and father. A newborn person continues two genera at once. This does not mean that he will receive their character traits or talents. Nature will provide him with a basis for development, and all he has to do is use it.
The significance of the biological factor is high. This explains how people who grow up under the same conditions become unique and exhibit opposite qualities. Biological factors are the basis for the formation of a child’s personality. Socialization plays an equally significant role. Development occurs in stages. The perception of the world is influenced by the upbringing received by a person and the example of his parents.
Education and personality formation in the family: the importance of parents
Psychologists are convinced that parents have a decisive influence on a child’s personality, his perception of the world, feelings and aspirations. The relationship between father and mother, as well as between other relatives, is important to him. The attitude of the family directly towards the child plays a huge role.
The surrounding social environment also influences the formation of personality. Education is a purposeful process of influencing a person, and it is precisely this that is at the basis of the cultivation of personality.
Many people ask the question: “What plays a decisive role in personal development and consciousness - natural forces, social environment?” It is impossible to single out anything separately, but it is obvious that the first years of human life are fundamental. Children growing up in a family largely adopt their parents’ behavior, attitudes, and values. Subsequently, the personality may acquire additional minor touches, but it is in childhood that the foundation is laid. If the father and mother pay little attention to the baby, then he receives “material” for development from other available sources, which are not always beneficial. Parents should remember this and take care of daily quality interaction with their child. At an early age, reading fairy tales helps a lot, as it instills in the child an understanding of good and evil. Be sure to analyze what you read and think through other options for developing the story.
Some tips
Peace and harmony in the family, respectful attitude, understanding and sympathy, acceptance of individual personality traits are the key to successful family education.
In conclusion, I would like to return to the thesis with which we began our discussions about the specifics of upbringing in the family. The emotional comfort of all members of the “blood union” will allow the baby to grow up as a person who is confident in his abilities and knows how to make decisions independently. Such a personality will not be broken by life’s adversities, because from the moment he began to feel the beating of his mother’s heart, his being was filled with confidence: he is loved and expected.
Emotional fulfillment with positive emotions from the closest and dearest people will allow a little person to become a real adult who knows how to take responsibility for his actions, clearly set goals and follow them.
What mistakes do parents make when raising individuals?
When shaping a child’s personality, it is important for parents to avoid such common mistakes.
Categorical prohibition
The main mistake of education. Be patient with your baby and respect him. Without learning to understand it, parents make inevitable mistakes that lead to mental and physical problems. By ignoring the desires and interests of the child, responding to most of them with categorical prohibitions, you can even skip the initial stage of some disease. Example: you notice that the child has started eating lime. The first reaction of most parents: dissatisfaction, screaming, a ban on approaching the wall. Correct reaction: visit the doctor. The doctor will probably tell you that there is a lack of calcium salts in the baby’s body. In addition, such an attitude will create in the child a desire to perform certain actions on the sly. Many become secretive and distrustful.
Overprotection
When shaping a child’s personality, overprotection is not the best helper. Excessive care can have a negative effect on the baby. When he reaches a certain age and tries to show independence, this is often met with hostility. Example: a child wants to use a spoon himself, but the mother, fearing that he will get dirty or not be able to cope, continues to feed him herself.
Overprotection manifests itself in violent action, which can result in the emergence of neurosis. In other cases, guardianship unless absolutely necessary can result in the child never being able to make friends, because the mother and grandmother are always nearby. The individual may have difficulties with socialization; he does not acquire the ability to express and defend his opinion. Possible consequences: psychological problems that can only be eliminated with the assistance of specialists.
Excessive demands
For the full development of a child’s personality, it is necessary that he not only knows, but also understands what is allowed and what is prohibited. If you show excessive demands on him, without giving clear explanations of the reasons why you need to do as you say, then this will not lead to good. What traits will the personality acquire? Irritability, stubbornness. The best option: parents explain in detail the reasons for their demands, and over time they become the child’s personal beliefs.
Notations
The first factor provoking children's protest is lengthy lectures. Parents often believe that their child will learn information better by listening to long and repetitive lectures. There is no need for them. This approach has no constructive component. Particularly taboo is other children being held up as examples. Gradually, the child will begin to perceive them as personal enemies. Boring notations often cause a negative reaction, losing their educational value.
Immense pampering of a child
Parents who spoil their children too much create a big problem. This phenomenon is no less negative than lack of influence. Spoiled children, who do not know anything to be denied, who have no responsibilities, eventually face the impossibility of overcoming even minor life obstacles and problems. When a situation arises when their desires and reality do not coincide, they lead to overstrain of the nervous system, which can result in a breakdown.
What conditions will ensure successful personality formation?
Important conditions for the formation of a child’s personality.
Example of parents
It is important for a child to see that mom and dad do not follow a certain script, but really live a happy and fulfilling life. It is impossible to make another person happy if you yourself are unhappy. Many psychologists note that people who do not experience inner harmony often complain about problems in relationships with children. Only happy parents will be able to truly understand their child by building a trusting relationship with him. This contributes to the successful formation of personality. When trying to help your child with this, start with yourself. Reflect: do you know how to accept your feelings, do you allow yourself to truly be happy and sad. Or maybe you are restraining yourself and teaching your child excessive restraint, thereby suppressing his personality.
Communication with others
Show by example how to communicate with other people. Give yourself a little test by honestly answering the question: “Are you able to have an unbiased conversation with a person with whom you disagree in some aspects?” Is there a possibility that you are trying to impose an opinion on another person or are you submitting to someone else’s will? The child will probably adopt this feature from you.
Don’t impose your opinion and position – just share your values. Have you heard the definition of “heartfelt conversation”? Such dialogues arise when a person is ready to understand the interlocutor and share his opinion. In relationships, a person develops, allow yourself to learn new things and teach this to your child.
Care and attention
A person who has felt care and attention at the dawn of development will certainly feel confident and protected. Mother and father become important life references, exerting serious influence. It is great if a mother can demonstrate such qualities as forgiveness, acceptance, love. The child needs to feel affection and warmth. In a father, strictness and gentleness are important, acting undividedly.
Parents are the most important stage in the formation of personality. Everyone knows the words that raising children should begin with their own upbringing. Start with yourself if you want to help your child’s personality acquire important facets.
Features of development in an incomplete family
Nowadays, single-parent families are becoming more and more common; they no longer surprise anyone. More often this happens when one of the parents has died or there has been a divorce.
In such a situation, the parent with whom the children are left is forced to single-handedly do everything that is assigned to two people. Very often, in an effort to ensure normal sociocultural and financial conditions, this person forgets about the importance of spiritual and emotional communication.
A child growing up with one parent is subject to increased emotional stress because he observes a shift in social roles and integrates himself into this distorted picture. If the child's mother or father left or died when he was able to realize what was happening, then this places an additional psychological burden on him.
But even in such a situation, the child and adults are capable of developing. Personally depends on the atmosphere in the family. If the home environment and emotional state are normal, then this will become the basis for the development of parents and offspring.
The role of family in human development cannot be underestimated. It is not for nothing that happiness is often associated with family and it is believed that only those who are happy at home are truly happy.
