Jealousy is so common nowadays that we take it for granted. Many girls really like it when their boyfriend is jealous and they take it as a sign of love. But the sad fact is that jealousy has nothing to do with love. Jealousy is simply an emotion that a person experiences due to low self-esteem. I think you have also experienced this feeling and understand what I am talking about.
Jealousy can often be seen in monogamous relationships. When people had a single partner throughout their lives. But jealousy becomes a problem when it develops into paranoia and obsession. So you should identify jealousy in the early stages and try to eliminate it. But the problem is that a man can hide his feelings. He doesn't want to admit uncertainty, so he just stays silent. And at this moment you don’t know how to understand that a guy is jealous.
The main reasons for jealousy in men
Male jealousy is a complex phenomenon and its consequences are unpredictable. To stop this process, you need to have a good understanding of the reasons for its origin. Let's look at the most common of them:
- Diffidence. The strong half of humanity is also characterized by low self-esteem. Sometimes they are afraid that their loved one will leave for someone better, more beautiful, stronger and more successful.
- Psychological trauma. Situations experienced in the past can suppress common sense. In this state, a young man cannot remain reasonable and calm.
- A sense of ownership. Even modest attention to the woman you love from other men will be met with aggression. The guy is afraid of losing his power, scandals arise on this basis, relationships fall apart.
- Provocations of the beloved. Sometimes a girl wants to feel loved and needed again. Because of this, she may begin to flirt with members of the stronger sex. This also deeply hurts men and deals a blow to their pride.
The reasons for jealousy will determine how to deal with it. Talk to your loved one and find out what's going on.
Kinds
Jealousy on the part of a man is a very unpleasant phenomenon that can bring discord even into close and trusting relationships. It contains a whole range of feelings, including the desire for possessiveness, anger, suspicion, and humiliation. If the problem is how to understand that a friend is jealous of you, get to know the varieties of this feeling.
READ How to stop being jealous of a girl: advice from psychologists
Hidden
Jealousy often manifests itself in hidden form.
A man often calls with questions: “Where are you?” and what are you doing?". This is not a manifestation of care, but a persistent attempt to find out what the beloved is doing and with whom she spends time. Sometimes a guy starts asking a girl about fans, hoping that she will give herself away. At the same time, he looks straight at him and gets very excited. Ask him directly if he is jealous. It's disarming.
Another sign of hidden jealousy may be that a man appears nearby every time as soon as another representative of the opposite sex approaches his beloved. He is sure that he should be aware of all the girl’s acquaintances.
READ Female jealousy: causes, symptoms, ways to get rid of it
Pathological
A pathologically jealous person can be enraged by a film scene in which the heroine has a lover. He comes to the conclusion that his beloved also has an affair. This unpleasant feeling negatively affects the psyche of even the strongest of men. He may not show it, but it harms the relationship.
How to understand that a man is hiding his doubts about a girl’s fidelity
You should not test a man for jealousy, because this can anger him even more and ruin the relationship. It is better to try to take a closer look at his behavior, which may be as follows:
- He began to take better care of himself. If the guy you are jealous of is younger than your chosen one, then the latter will begin to be interested in more youthful clothes. If your friend is older, your partner will try to look more respectable in your eyes.
- Silent reproach in his eyes is the norm. He just looks at you while you are communicating with someone else, and then suddenly starts joking and laughing loudly, attracting your attention with the same expression in his eyes - they say, do you see who you traded me for? And by the way, I’m much better!
- He may refuse your company, distance himself from you for a while in order to cause bewilderment and a feeling of guilt. If you find yourself thinking about trying to apologize without a clear understanding of the problem, then keep in mind that you have met a jealous manipulator who desperately lacks your attention.
Why a guy is jealous, how it manifests itself and what to do about it, watch this video:
When a man tries to hide his jealousy, he begins to behave unnaturally, sometimes gets irritated for no reason, sometimes becomes inappropriately cheerful. You should definitely notice such a manifestation of this destructive feeling!
Most representatives of the fair sex identify male jealousy with feelings of love. In fact, male jealousy, from the point of view of psychologists, can signal serious psychological problems in a man. If you notice that your lover is beginning to become increasingly jealous of you, find out what the reasons, consequences and methods for solving this state of your life partner may be.
Signs of jealousy
Not all girls know how to understand that a guy is jealous. Let's look at several signs of the behavior of a jealous person in everyday life. Even if a boyfriend hides his feelings, they can be figured out.
Jealous means he loves
Women often think that their lover makes scenes of jealousy because of love. But this is not always the case. A sense of possessiveness often plays a decisive role in his behavior. The guy doesn’t want to lose you, so he tries to remove other representatives of the stronger sex from the girl’s attention.
Reading the signs
Guys don't always show their emotions violently. This depends on the temperament of each individual person, as well as on how trusting the relationship is between a man and a woman. If you want to know how you can tell if he's jealous, you need to understand some of the hidden signs that indicate problems in your relationship.
Excessive suspicion
In this case, the loved one often interrogates the girls. He is interested in why she was late at work, why a colleague gave her a ride home, whether she often meets with her friends, and why she liked the stylist at the hairdresser around the corner so much. Of course, not everyone will like this behavior on the part of a man, since the situation becomes like constant surveillance.
A jealous man can cause scandals in public places. Polite waiters in cafes, telephone calls and much more infuriate him.
Detective game
If a young man starts checking your phone for no reason, looking through correspondence, studying the history in the computer browser - these are clear signs that he is going crazy with jealousy. For some reason, the man began to doubt your fidelity; it is important for him to find evidence of infidelity.
Offended look
Sometimes men begin to withdraw into themselves and deliberately play “silence” with their beloved, refuse dinner and show other signs of resentment. All this may also indicate doubts about the fidelity of the beloved and deep feelings inside. It’s interesting that a man can screw himself up, come up with a story of an affair with his beloved on the side, believe in it and not even allow the girl to explain herself.
READ A guy communicates with other girls: reasons and ways to solve the problem
What else can you do to find out about his feelings?
Here are a few more ways to test a guy’s feelings on VK:
- Shows initiative. That is, he writes to you. You don’t have to sit and wait for a message from him; you can write it yourself. But if a guy writes to you first, it means he is not indifferent to you.
- Sends songs with love meaning. If a line with such subtext slips into the song, then this is certainly a hint that he likes you. Why not say it directly? There is no answer to this.
- When you just wake up and go online, you will immediately see a message from him: “Good morning!”, In the evening he will wish you the best dreams.
Methods for solving the problem
Even if it seems that your loved one is jealous of you for no reason, you should not let the situation take its course. It is worth understanding the reasons for this behavior and having a heart-to-heart talk. Of course, only the man himself can curb his feelings, but his beloved girl has the power to help him do this, to support him:
- Talk to the jealous person calmly, but try to find out what worries him.
- Convince your loved one that you value relationships and do not want affairs with other men.
- Draw up a set of rules of behavior in your couple and define the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Point out that he should not interrogate or rummage through your personal belongings, and you will not give reasons for jealousy.
- If you have male friends, introduce them to your boyfriend. You can also introduce your friends to him. Make it clear that your communication does not threaten the relationship, so there is no need to worry.
If you are trying to improve your relationship, but it is not helping, seek help from a professional psychologist. True, if a man does not want to deal with jealousy himself, attempts to help will not be effective. In such cases, couples separate.
Loyalty check
You can use one small trick. Ask a friend to meet him and chat a little. Will he say the same words he says to you? Send a large number of emoticons? Will he call you somewhere? If he likes you, he will not answer her at all or will be reluctant to answer.
You and your friend can sit at different laptops and phones, try to start a correspondence at the same time. Observe whether he will lie to you or simply ignore his friend. If you have been corresponding with your chosen one for several days and he is passionate about communication, he will not start getting to know his girlfriend. But if a guy suspects or finds out something, he can get very angry and offended by it.
Another way to check a guy’s feelings is to leave all your contacts on social networks and your own phone number. Will he do the same? Will he give away all his contacts? Then you can understand how open the guy is to you.
How different zodiac signs are jealous
Representatives of different zodiac signs show jealousy in different ways:
- Aries. Women and men born under the sign of Aries are hot-tempered and temperamental. If they are overwhelmed by a feeling of jealousy, they react violently, and it is not easy to prove that their suspicions are groundless. Wait for Aries to cool down, and then talk to him calmly and affectionately.
- Calf . Representatives of this sign treat their partner as property. They don’t want someone else to take possession of their “toy” - this introduces instability into their usual way of life and is simply unpleasant. Initially, a man can endure and keep everything to himself, but soon his patience may end, and then his partner will not be happy. That's why it's interesting how to understand that a Taurus man is jealous.
- Twins. Representatives of the sign rarely give in to jealousy. They begin to experience it when there is not enough communication with a loved one. In this situation, a guy born under this sign may have an obsessive idea that his beloved is devoting her time to someone else. To avoid conflicts, spend time together more often.
- Cancer. Suspicious people are born under this sign. From the slightest reason, they can invent a whole story and believe in it. These men subtly sense if their partner has entered into a relationship with someone else, so don’t even try to cheat. It’s better to be sincere and share your feelings more often - this will bring you closer.
- A lion. Leos react sharply to any communication between their chosen one and the opposite sex. They do not like it when someone wants to take over their territory; these people are endowed with pride and do not tolerate betrayal. There is no point in insulting their self-esteem. The Leo man will simply erase the unfaithful woman from his life.
- Virgo. These men are afraid that they will lose their beloved and be left alone. It is difficult for them to arrange their personal life, so they actively protect it. Outwardly the guy looks cold, but inside the jealous person has a real storm. Representatives of this sign will like it if you devote time to them - periodically write SMS, communicate on the phone.
- Scales. These men do not create scandals and try to sort out an unpleasant situation calmly. It is important for them not so much to convict their beloved of treason, but to regain their spiritual comfort. You can sometimes give Libra a reason to be jealous by demonstrating that other men are not indifferent to you. But don’t get carried away with such games, otherwise you will lose your loved one.
- Scorpion. Easily finds reasons for jealousy and draws energy from conflicts. If Scorpio suspects his beloved of infidelity, he will not be too lazy to understand the situation. You can convince him of devotion with the help of a stormy intimate life. This is one way to get rid of negative emotions and calm down.
- Sagittarius. Representatives of the sign are very freedom-loving and rarely give in to jealousy. If they fall in love, they do not allow their partner to leave for another person. In order not to disappoint Sagittarius, try not to hurt his pride and become an authority for him.
- Capricorn. He is practical and does not want to waste his energy on negative emotions. He wants to see a serious companion nearby. If you often give reasons for jealousy, Capricorn will refuse an exhausting relationship.
- Aquarius. Guys of this sign do not arrange violent scenes of jealousy and interrogation. They want to trust the woman they love. But when the chosen one gives reason to doubt her, she is unlikely to be able to receive forgiveness later. You shouldn't hurt his feelings.
- Fish. Representatives of this zodiac constellation tend to be constantly jealous. They take betrayal to heart, but hide their feelings. In order for your loved one to stop suffering, help him find a hobby and realize himself. Try to maintain ease in relationships.
Male jealousy has many manifestations and destroys the union. Don't let your loved one doubt themselves. It is important to know how you can understand that a guy is jealous, be able to calm him down and take the relationship in a positive direction.
Indifference and difficult life situations
Try to show a little composure. Not writing, not calling him a couple of times is the next way to test a guy’s feelings. Try not to appear on social networks for a while. He will immediately become worried and call you. Ask what happened, why she disappeared for so long. You need to be prepared for this and find a more truthful excuse.
During a difficult situation or illness, tell him about it. This is another effective way to test a guy’s feelings. A person who cares about you will definitely support you, sympathize with you, come and help you in every way he can.