Why do ex-men come back after a breakup?

We are often asked why men come back. Most often, men return after they end a relationship. Your behavior will be a factor in your return. Emotions and tensions run high after a breakup. As a rule, it is during this period that women make most of the mistakes that repel men... Let's figure out why men return to their wife, to their girlfriend, and how you can restore the relationship.

There is a secret bonus video waiting for you at the end of the article.

Why does your ex want to come back?

Every man who wants to reunite with his former passion has certain goals. Psychologists identify several main reasons that encourage exes to return:

He realizes that he made a mistake. Sometimes people make rash decisions, driven by emotions, and then regret their actions. Representatives of the stronger sex with high moral qualities most often return to ex-girlfriends. They believe that the chosen one will have a difficult time without him, and her life will become worse.
He was tired of loneliness. Having been a bachelor, the guy notes that delicious food does not appear on the table, the house is not cleaned on its own, and shirts are not washed or ironed. Being lonely, a man is forced to solve all everyday problems on his own. If the couple shared all expenses in half, then the desire to return may be due to commercialism.
Disappointment in other women. Some men are accustomed to seeing certain qualities in their life partner that they expect from new passions. However, not every woman wants to be a cook, mistress and cleaner all rolled into one. As a result, a person begins to suffer from a lack of attention and care. Therefore, guys often express a desire to return to their former passions.

A sense of ownership. In such a situation, even after breaking up, they continue to monitor the lives of their exes, because they do not want to put up with the loss of power. Realizing that the girl in whom he invested his time and resources may end up in the arms of another, the man returns.
If he quit on his own. Men rarely return to women they leave themselves. But if the girl who initiated the breakup beckons, then in almost all cases they return, despite the fact that they may have a new relationship.

We have common children. Many women wonder whether their ex-husband will return. If they have children, then this is a common story of husbands returning to their wives. However, without feelings for a woman, children cannot always become a decisive factor in the return of a spouse to the family.
Emotional pressure. There is a category of girls who can achieve anything they want with their tears. They begin to put moral pressure on their boyfriend, acting through his friends, relatives and acquaintances.
He managed to compare. The young man sees some shortcomings in his chosen one, and therefore decides to break up with her. But having started a relationship with another girl, he becomes convinced that his previous passion was much better. However, this does not always mean that the relationship can end with a happy ending. If on his life's path he meets a girl who meets his ideals, he will go to her.
Real love. It’s hard for people together, but bad for people apart. And the lovers once again quarreled and decided to separate. They start a new relationship, but at one point they break off all ties with new passions and return to their exes. This can only be explained by true love.

Actions and feelings of a young man

The behavior of men after a breakup is sometimes surprising. Especially if the initiative to break up lies with him. Instead of completely disappearing from his ex’s life, he begins to look for meetings, regularly reminds him of himself, and tries to attract attention. Often a man calls after a breakup, catching his ex by surprise. Such actions occur when the perpetrator of the breakup feels confused. After all, he is not used to being alone, making any decisions on his own, especially if the couple has been together for a long period of time.

What does a woman need to do to get her ex back?

A young lady who has broken up with her lover and wants to return him should not provoke scandals. Psychologists recommend adhering to the following tips:

do not write angry messages;
do not pester your loved one with endless calls;
do not push for pity;
avoid discussing relationships during a chance meeting with your loved one;
show that you are independent and positive;
Organize a date yourself if your spouse does not offer it;
think over your image, the main thing is that it is natural.

What to do next?

By this point, you should have already understood whether the ex-boyfriend wants to return, at least in general terms.

In fact, this knowledge is a double-edged knife. On the one hand, if you doubt whether he still has feelings, then you cannot start a new relationship. On the other hand, if you know 100% that he misses you, you will want to speed up the process of getting back together as much as possible. What, as mentioned above, cannot be done.

We have dealt with the first case, but what should we do with the second? How to behave correctly?

The secret here is to keep your emotions in check.

If you want him back, the only thing you need to do is not make contact and keep your distance.

Lack of contact reinforces what the partner already has. If he is truly bored, then some constant lack of communication will fan the spark into a real flame. Depriving attention, the ex will need it more and more. The moment you finally get in touch, these feelings will overwhelm him.

Here are the recommendations:

Intimacy

For some, sex is one of the components of a relationship, but for others, it is the most important component. And some men return to their former partners solely because they have not found another girl with whom it would be just as good in bed. If for some women a union built purely on sexual relations is unacceptable, then for others it is more than satisfactory. For some, an emotional connection is important, but for others, male libido and the ability to use it to their advantage are enough to be happy.

Old relationships in a new way

Now it’s clear why men come back after a breakup. They need a new relationship, but with an already proven partner. During this period, he receives more attention, less reproaches and pressure. Life is getting better, relationships are getting a new lease of life. Now a woman needs to show all her wisdom and establish a connection with her loved one. An important component of a full-fledged relationship in which both partners are happy is, of course, intimate intimacy.

In this you should show your imagination, buy underwear for special occasions, at least sometimes create a suitable atmosphere and often delight your loved one with bodily caresses. The same goes for tactile touch every day. You can get a relaxing massage after a working day that will relieve fatigue and tension. Pay more attention and effort to this, and soon life will begin as if all over again.

Possible scenarios

Further events develop according to several scenarios:

If the reason for the separation is leaving for another woman, then, despite all the pain and tragedy of what happened, you need to try to save your own face, and also part ways on an amicable note. You never know how life will turn out and what will happen over time. Perhaps the new relationship is not destined to develop into something more, then there is a chance to do everything to ensure that the man returns after breaking up.
When a young man goes nowhere, simply because his passion has faded. This often happens after many years of family life, when the children become adults, and nothing connects him with his wife. In this case, you can try to get your husband back by simply talking to him honestly. Maybe we should give him more freedom. Older men like to devote their free time to their favorite activities, such as fishing, hunting, etc. During this period, it is better to support your partner; with his permission, you can join his hobby. Then, perhaps, common interests and topics for communication will emerge.
If a man is tired of seeing his chosen one in an unkempt state, always dissatisfied and offended, then he needs to take care of himself as effectively as possible. And don't complain about lack of time. Nowadays there are many ways to make life easier. Get yourself in order, visit a cosmetologist, hairdresser, get a manicure and pedicure. Take time for a relaxing massage. Having transformed, tune in to a friendly mood. Ask your chosen one to help you improve your relationship. This will give you a better understanding of why men come back after a breakup. The psychology of the action will become more clear. This means that in the future it will be possible to eliminate all the reasons leading to a break in the relationship.

If you look at it, it becomes obvious that the answer to the question of whether men return after a breakup depends largely on the woman herself. If she sees the point in continuing the relationship, there are still unsaid kind words and not everything has been done together, then this will certainly be the case. Further, on the initiative of the woman, everything will happen so that the union is reunited. If there is no point in further efforts, as in the relationship itself, then there is no point in trying.

When a man returns after a breakup, a woman has a choice - to take him back or burn her bridges and let him float freely. In any case, after this moment, life will change forever. After the events experienced, neither of the couple will remain the same.

How to tell if a man will return after a breakup

Cooling down in a relationship can be temporary, but sometimes it leads to a final break in the love affair. When a woman is left alone, she begins to speculate about what her ex is thinking about now.

Thoughts of men

As a rule, guys try to sort out their feelings and understand in which direction they should move forward. Someone who is tired of living together enjoys freedom, devotes time to hobbies, and communicates with friends. Some guys jump right into a new relationship, enjoying the passion that comes with romance. At the same time, a person unconsciously compares his partner with his ex. When the emotional background stabilizes, the time comes to make a final decision.

Reasons for separation

A breakup can happen for many reasons. The most common reasons are:

I fell in love with someone else. Leaving for a mistress is most often explained by a craving for new emotions.
I'm bored with everyday life. Some housewives spend too much effort on maintaining order. At the same time, they forget about their chosen one and turn into household staff. This kind of prioritization can frustrate anyone.
The feelings have faded. After some time, feelings inevitably lose their sharpness, but any girl is able to refresh them.
Cannot provide a woman with comfortable living conditions. Constant complaints suggest that the lady is unhappy with her partner.
The relatives of the beloved with whom you have to contact are annoying. Conflicts in which the girl does not take the side of the chosen one unsettle him.

READ How to understand that a guy wants to break up: signs of crisis and tips

Signs that he will return

If the lady’s feelings have not faded away, she is interested in how long it takes for men to return after a stormy breakup. By observing the behavior of your ex-lover, you can learn about his intentions.

Particular attention should be paid to the following signs:

Even rare calls or messages indicate interest in the recipient. In this case, incoming calls may be ignored.
He asks mutual friends about how his ex is doing.
If a guy cannot calmly watch his ex-lover flirt with someone, there is no need to doubt whether he will return. Feelings of jealousy indicate the presence of attachment.
At a chance meeting, he tries to show his best side.
Communicates with the relatives of the abandoned girl.
If a man posts sad statuses on social networks and adds lyrical compositions to his audio recordings, it means he is really suffering.
Unusual activity indicates mental shock, from which a person is trying to get rid of by obtaining strong emotions.

Despite the presence of signs of interest, the girl should not rush into proposals for a meeting. You need to let your partner sort out his feelings. This may take a week or even several months, depending on the nature of the person.

Signs that he won't return

Whether men come back after a breakup depends on their temperament and outlook on life. Sometimes a guy makes a final decision and no longer tries to establish contact with his ex.

READ How to leave a girl who loves you and not offend her

The following signs may indicate this:

change of phone number;
moving;
searching for new relationships;
lack of calls and messages for a long time;
during a chance meeting, the man looks away.

If he has another

In order not to lose self-confidence, you should not idealize your rival. A guy finds a new partner when he needs to find a way out of a difficult situation and radically change his life. At the same time, his expectations about the perfection of his mistress may not be justified. The passion of secret meetings can easily dissolve in everyday life, and life's problems force people to show their true colors. It is possible that a girl whom a man considered sexy will soon turn into a nervous woman.

Reasons for breaking up a relationship on the initiative of a guy

Sometimes a guy, leaving a woman, is guided by the fact that she is not so beautiful, since his friends were not jealous of him. Someone will say that the chosen one did not love him, admired him little, criticized his character, status, achievements. Other reasons why guys leave girls include:

READ

A man abandoned a pregnant woman: reasons for leaving, problems of the expectant mother, the word of the law

imbalance;
complaints about low income, greed;
dislike of his friends;
jealousy;
inability to inspire the male sex to feats.

That is, the man believes that he is leaving a lady who could not meet his expectations. In his opinion, he deserves more. Girls, having learned the reasons for men leaving them, should take note of these arguments, draw conclusions and try to prevent a possible separation in the future.

Impulsive

Impulsive reasons are considered to be those that arose out of emotion; leaving became sudden as a result. These include:

treason;
unpredictable behavior;
lack of emotions;
crisis situations.

The most impulsive reason is betrayal. Men are kind of owners. They can't stand it when someone else owns their significant other. A man regards a girl’s unpredictable behavior in society as vulgarity and bad manners. It doesn’t matter how he was raised, his woman must be ideal.

Men need emotional support from women. They need to be admired and supported. If they have this, they have a desire to conquer the world, to be needed, to win, to strive for new heights. When this is not the case, they feel worthless, self-esteem drops, and they shift the blame onto women. Guys leave their chosen ones because they don’t want to perform feats for their sake.

READ

A guy dumped him: reasons for breaking up, ways to get over a breakup and advice from a psychologist

Crisis situations imply a period of life when a man wonders why he is next to this young lady. He wonders how his life would have turned out if he had been with someone else. Partially, this reason is a consequence of the previous one, when the emotions from the existing relationship cease to be enough.

Objective

Objective reasons are those that a man thought about for a long time and weighed all the arguments.

They can be like this:

requirement to legitimize relations;
woman's high income;
low intelligence;
lack of self-care;
incompatibility of characters;
routine in everyday life;
siphoning money from a man's wallet.

Most women dream of a stamp in their passport. They love to start conversations with their loved ones about the wedding. If such conversations occur frequently, representatives of the stronger sex get scared and break off the relationship. Most likely, the guys are simply not ready for such a step. When the time comes, the man himself will propose marriage.

An unequal financial situation can interfere with relationships. This applies to couples in which the lady earns more than her boyfriend. Sometimes it is better to remain silent about the amount of your salary. If he knows what the income of the girl he lives with is, he will develop an inferiority complex. Some will be happy about this, but then they will be tormented by a feeling of guilt, they will begin to reproach the woman for not being able to succeed in life. As a result, the man will leave for another lady whose income will be less. Only then will he feel strong, confident and significant.

Men are more interested in living next to smart women. This does not mean that you need to show your intelligence by belittling the dignity of your gentleman. But you can’t be stupid either, otherwise the man will get bored. It is also important for a guy that his lady looks well-groomed. To do this, you need to take care of your appearance.

Most often, the reason for the breakup is stated as incompatibility of characters. This is when it is difficult for people to be together due to the fact that they wake up at different times, like different foods, movies, music, and each have their own attitude to changes in life. Everyday life leads to separation, because it becomes boring to be together, the beloved does not know how to cook, the house is a mess. All this is repeated every day.

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How to painlessly survive a breakup with a guy: ways to heal the soul

Inflated financial demands of the chosen one can cause harm because the man will begin to consider the relationship with her to be consumer. For agreeing to have sex, such a girl may demand that you buy her expensive jewelry. The gentleman will think that she has no feelings, only material needs. He will think, why then live with her, because sex can be obtained with less effort with another passion.

Do exes come back?

Sometimes it happens that a man and a woman break up. Often the initiator of a break is the stronger sex. It's easier for him to deal with it. A woman needs more time and effort to get back on track.

There are frequent cases when she already forgets her beloved, he appears on the horizon. Many sexologists claim that this happens due to a sense of ownership and hunter instincts. This happens if he has not met a new love or is disappointed with her.

Why do exes come back? Psychology

Psychologists have identified several reasons why exes come back when you are no longer expecting them.

Lack of a new passion. A person needs love. The monotony in a relationship bores both partners, but due to their natural selfishness, they can simply turn around and leave. But why do men return to their exes? This behavior consists of the following: he took a walk, compared, and realized that he was in a hurry with the breakup.
A sense of ownership. The appearance of a gentleman and the resulting jealousy is the motive for the return.
Experiment. He leaves, then returns, again provoking a break. He wonders if she will accept him again.
Naivety. Having lived his life with one woman, an aging womanizer meets a young nymph, to whom he leaves his faithful life partner. He is convinced that his young partner is interested in his intelligence, potency, appearance, but not his finances. When he understands how things are, he returns to his abandoned wife.
Sex. Male psychology has proven that sex in marriage comes first for the husband. If you don't get what you want, a break occurs. He satisfies sexual needs on the side and calmly returns. Sometimes the wife doesn’t even know about the man’s infidelity.
Call of Duty. The abandoned woman begins to have psychological and financial problems, and he returns.
Love for children. The children ask dad to return to the family.
Yearning. They return to their abandoned passion because they begin to yearn for their wife and their life together.
Appearance. The beloved ceases to suit her externally. When she finds the reason for leaving and puts herself in order, he returns.
Love. Parting gives him a chance to realize that he loves this particular woman and life without her is not sweet.

Why do husbands return to their ex-wives?

Why do men return to their ex-wives? Why ex-husbands return, the psychology is that after a divorce he may begin to miss his wife and wants to return. In such cases, husbands seek reunification if:

He is guilty and wants to be forgiven.
Wants to prove his importance to his wife.
He loves his wife very much.
They miss their children.

Here are the reasons why ex-husbands return to the family.

Why ex-men come back

Those who come back are those who realized that without their beloved it is bad. Some men need time to understand that their abandoned lover is dear to him. Therefore, psychologists recommend not to rush, but to give him the opportunity to sort out his feelings himself.

Why do ex-lovers return? The reason for this may be simple jealousy. Even in separation, he continues to monitor the life of his ex, scaring away his rivals. He transforms again into an attentive gentleman and a sensitive lover.

In many cases, the desire to return is driven by comfort. He was accustomed to the comfort of home, clean clothes and delicious food.

There are many reasons why men always return to their exes, but sometimes it is difficult to understand his true motives. Sometimes a woman, refusing to accept a prodigal husband, makes the right decision, and sometimes she makes an incorrigible mistake. The main thing is to listen to your heart and not let it manipulate you. Before reuniting or parting forever, you need to think and weigh everything.

True story

Whether to accept your ex-husband back after a divorce largely depends on how long it took for him to decide to return. At first, emotional instability takes him to extremes, from the desire to burn all his things to to forgive and love until the end of his days, if only this nightmare would finally end. Unfortunately, the first option is more realistic than the second. Because even upon returning, everything will not be the same as before. There are many published stories where a husband left for his mistress and then returned to the family nest. And it seems that he is the same, the same character, the same appearance, but the look, the lack of trust, the tormenting doubts inside, turned life into hell.

Here is one of the true stories told to me first hand. My friend married for love, after 5 years of dating and an unofficial romance. But they lived together for only a year, and the faithful rushed out the door. And nothing foreshadowed, the house was clean and tidy, his wife was beautiful, his things were always perfect, the food was hot and tasty. When her husband announced that he was leaving for his mistress, she was struck like lightning under a cloudless sky; she did not know how to behave, who to blame. All she knew was that she loved her madly and had no intention of letting her go.

But her friend was not going to fight hand-to-hand with her rival. I took a more evolutionary and educated path. And if I only learned about the moment of leaving from her, then we already felt the rest together. It all started with watching numerous YouTube channels about unfaithful husbands, their psychology and the rationality of their actions. To be more faithful, we watched a couple of videos about unfaithful wives. Then we went through practices on increasing self-esteem, learned the secrets of seduction and went shopping for a new wardrobe. This was the most logical and adequate thing, which only took about a month.

The husband miraculously did not show up, so the forces of the universe came into play. At this point I decided to take a break, but a friend says that she managed to clear her mind and aura, become cleaner and more enlightened. At the same time, under witchcraft rituals with chants under the moon, she cleared the house of debris and moved heavy furniture according to the forces of Qi. And either the spirits heeded her persistence, or the neighbors with pleas for the noise to stop, or it was fate, but when she tried to push a chair into the elevator to get rid of the energy frozen in it, He showed up on the threshold.

As a result, He helped her take out the chair, and at the same time come in for tea after working part-time as a loader. As a result, they got to talking, he asked for forgiveness, said that it was a momentary infatuation, that he was to blame. She did not tell me how much she had done to get him back, she simply agreed to forgive. And it just so happened that 4.5 months have passed since leaving. This is exactly the period psychologists voice when calculating how long it takes for a husband to return from his mistress. Coincidence?

Why are they coming back?

Why do men come back after a breakup? Male psychology is designed in such a way that it is necessary to understand everything in order.

Possible reasons why you can understand whether a man will return, after what time and under what events:

A man understands that the girl in his life plays a truly important role. And without her he is not so comfortable.
Everything is relative. At first, the man believes that the relationship is no longer needed, he will live a free life. But after a while, he realizes that his woman was the best and with her he lived much better than being free or living with another mistress.
Men, at times, need to spend time completely alone to deal with their feelings. They think about the events that are taking place and decide what to do and whether it is worth renewing their relationship with their ex-girlfriend.

I have given the most common reasons why men may return to a woman after a breakup. The psychology of relationships is not very simple and you constantly have to understand it.

Why you shouldn't get back to your ex: 5 vital reasons

Revenge

Whether it was a chance meeting or he saw a new photo on your profile - it doesn’t matter.

Any man wants the woman next to him to radiate happiness. This is a matter of pride, apart from everything else.

Worthy - does not focus on this. It is enough for him that you are happy and give him feedback.

But for a man who is insecure, every compliment addressed to his woman is a new coin in the piggy bank of his self-esteem. And so he meets you and sees that you are blooming and smelling WITHOUT HIM. Or even worse - with someone else. And the biggest disaster is his cooler status.