Every girl wants to find a life partner. To do this, she does everything imaginable and unthinkable: she watches her figure, exhausts herself with workouts, buys the most beautiful outfits, creates images that would be the envy of Hollywood stylists. Often this is not enough.
Here sits a girl from whom you can’t take your eyes off, but he still walks arm in arm with another, not even necessarily a beautiful woman. And a single woman can only continue to wonder what kind of women men choose?
What does self-esteem have to do with it?i
Russian psychologists and sociologists at Tyumen State University conducted an interesting study to find out whether men's self-esteem influences their choice of women.
For scientific analysis, men were divided into age groups: 18-24 years, 26-32 years, 33-40 years. The subjects' self-esteem was measured using the Dembo-Rubinstein method as modified by Yanshin: vertical lines are drawn on a piece of paper in a horizontal position, indicating scales of health, intelligence, character, happiness, self-satisfaction and optimism.
First, the experimenter draws the first line - a health scale. The bottom is the very sick people, the top is the healthiest. The subject is asked to mark where he is. Then the second, third, etc. lines are drawn. After determining self-esteem, men were divided into the following groups: inflated self-esteem, high, average low.
And here are the final results. Men with low self-esteem prefer clean, thrifty, non-vulgar and understanding women.
Those with high self-esteem choose to match themselves: independent, purposeful and with character.
It was also possible to find out that the traditional image of a woman is “good” for men, but the modern, more independent one is “negative” and they are opposed to each other. Experts note that attractiveness is important for all men.
Who are they avoiding?2
Before you try to understand which women men choose, you need to figure out who they don’t like at all.
Some girls easily find boyfriends and even manage to get married. Others are much less lucky in this matter. Moreover, problems can begin immediately after meeting, when the candy-bouquet period has not yet ended.
That is, when they did not have time to really get to know each other. The partner may simply begin to ignore the woman: not answer calls and even avoid dates, citing constant busyness. If he is not afraid of offending the girl, then he will not come up with excuses.
The search for the reasons for such behavior immediately begins, often in the chosen one, forgetting about oneself, the beloved. And if he says “it’s not about you at all, but about me,” then the woman will take it on faith without hesitation, then the situation will repeat itself over and over again. He just doesn’t want to explain what’s really going on without allowing her to understand her own mistakes.
Of course, it may well be that the situation turned out in such an unpleasant way because of him, but most likely, the lady simply turned out to be one of those whom the stronger sex prefers to avoid.
Where to find a good wife?
The first criterion is that where living conditions are more difficult for a woman, there the girl will be much less spoiled, and she will also believe more that a man should be the head of the house. After all, the more difficult the living conditions, the more responsibilities fall on a man’s shoulders, and his physical strength is also required, which a woman does not have, which means a man is more in demand and necessary for survival.
For example, in Europe, a girl will initially be spoiled, with inflated demands and with a great desire to sue you at the first bad behavior of yours in order to seize part of your business and apartment, therefore in European countries the birth rate and mutual respect and happiness in marriages are rapidly falling . And a woman doesn’t need it to survive if the state gives her a subsidy.
A bad wife will make her husband a loser too.
How can a man find a good girl to marry?
Moreover, for the information of women, men in these countries are also much more feminine than in the CIS; due to gender equality, they are not ready to pay for a girl even in a cafe and charge her 50% for living together, because in their understanding marriage is more likely deal, and are also ready to clean the house and cook, just to “force” the woman to go to work. At the same time, in reality, most women living in such conditions even forget how to cook, leaving it to men.
As a result, these men themselves begin to slowly degrade in “masculine” character traits, and at the same time become less and less attractive to a normal woman, who, in turn, again begins to understand that such men are only suitable for their use, and it is even strange to love them, after all, a woman needs a man as a protector, not a cohabitant.
Then it becomes normal for a girl to sleep with whomever she wants, since everyone has the same rights and you can do whatever you want, from which she loses her femininity and also becomes much closer in character to a man, which is why in the CIS there are much more beautiful and sexy women than in Europe and America.
But in eastern countries, a woman cannot physically survive alone in desert conditions; accordingly, the role of a man is much higher and the man in the family “by default” is respected an order of magnitude more. Women want and need men's help, and do not try to put all the problems on their shoulders.
Accordingly, in such countries the birth rate is much higher, and a woman and a man are happier in harmonious family relationships, since it does not even occur to a woman to get rid of male protection and guardianship, while leveling her rights and responsibilities, as they are trying to do in a “civilized and democratic" Europe.
In which country do the best girls for marriage live?
Why are girls so demanding of men?
Accordingly, even Europeans have understood where to look for the best wives, so today it has become incredibly fashionable for foreigners to marry girls from less prosperous countries, for example, from the CIS, especially Ukraine and Russia.
Since European men rightly begin to understand that a local woman will be many times more capricious and less admiring of his person, and most likely will soon leave him altogether in order to divide his property. But the Russian woman will probably stick to her rich foreigner husband, and he will be considered rich even if he lives there on a state benefit of 800 euros.
But now, even in our “second world” countries, women are starting to become a little impudent and exploit men, so they are starting to look at young Thai women and residents of other nearby countries and islands for the best options. Who understand that living in poverty with local guys has nothing to catch them, but they are ready to idolize wealthier Europeans, realizing how lucky they are to have met such a man.
Therefore, with all other characteristics being equal, a man will be happier with a girl from a more “provincial city”, perhaps even from a more or less adequate village, or even from another country, with a less high financial situation, and ideally also stricter religious and moral standards.
Germany
There are not many beauties among German women, but they are incredibly strong in character and able to cope with children and everyday life. They know their business and understand perfectly well that it is useless to demand from a man what he does not want to do.
German women don’t ask unnecessary questions and don’t “blow out” their lover. Family traditions are still alive in this country. And although the woman is no longer in a second role, but is equal to the man, she does not try to overtake him in everything, turning marriage into a competition.
Brazil
Latin women have a magical charisma that attracts men from all over the world. These ladies know a lot about proper seduction. Their physical beauty is complemented by their inner beauty. They are smiling, happy and love life.
They don't demand money or status. It is important for them that their boyfriend, husband or companion be extremely open and faithful. All this is supported by loyalty and responsiveness on the part of the partner. These ladies know how to wait and can even tolerate the antics of their beloved man, although their patience is also limited.
Thailand
Asian girls living in the country of Thailand take second place. Such girls dream of a family and always try to look good for their husband. They are caring, take care of themselves, and value marriage with their chosen man. Such girls, due to the mentality of the country, are not capable of betrayal, because this is considered a great shame. In addition, they are very shy in society, but next to their man they open their souls.
Colombia
Girls from Latin America are a real find for a man who wants to connect his destiny with a foreigner. Thanks to the mixed culture of Colombia, these girls have a very interesting and memorable appearance. They will easily win the heart of any man, because their beauty is difficult to ignore. In addition, they are very caring and kind wives. For them, the priority is the well-being of the family and happiness in marriage.
Dull3
She has completely neglected herself, has lost interest in what is happening around her, is constantly in a bad mood, does not even pay attention to her man, but at the same time she can still yearn for her ex. No man will like this; he will try to run away as far as possible and as quickly as possible from such a woman.
After all, they are looking for and loving something completely different; they want ease from relationships, so that they can breathe freely and enjoy them. How can she even breathe if she is dissatisfied with everything, gets angry at every, even insignificant, reason, sticks out her complex inner world, without thinking about whether a man needs it at all.
In addition, such girls often do not consider themselves attractive, telling their partner about this, and if he did not think so before, then he may well start. She is digging her own grave with her negativity.
What to do: try to tune in to a positive wave, love yourself and life. It’s difficult to be happy; in a sense, it’s a talent. But those women who master it will be able to keep a man close. He will be charged with positive energy from her, which will have a good effect on the relationship.
How to determine readiness for marriage
Determining your own readiness for marriage is no easier than finding a worthy candidate to move through life together. When you want to get married and are hesitant, which way should you swing - back, into the comfort zone, where everything is so familiar and arranged, or forward, into the world of pots and drying diapers?
If the right girl has already been found and the only question is whether the time has come for the decisive step, you can look at the list of factors that indicate that the point of no return has already been crossed, and calmly make an offer, if any are present in your life:
- the couple has no need to take a break from each other; on the contrary, even everyday life, with washing and cooking, is perceived by both at ease and without sharp edges;
- young people relax together everywhere - they have a wide circle of mutual acquaintances and questions such as whether or not to take your significant other to the next party don’t even arise;
- the man has developed (or initially had) a calm attitude towards “women’s days” and the associated inconveniences - going to the store for hygiene products, caring for a girl if she doesn’t feel well;
- the fear of the thought of future children has disappeared, moreover, corresponding dreams and plans arise;
- relatives on both sides of the young people are already aware of the seriousness of the relationship;
- there are joint large purchases - furniture or equipment, and all expenses are spent from the “common pocket”.
The main factor that most men have a very difficult time overcoming is the complete extension of their personal zone to their girlfriend. If this moment is completely blurred and the concept of individual space is pushed aside, this speaks volumes, and in particular, about complete readiness for marriage. What does it mean? When a girl can take your phone to scroll through a page on a social network, and it doesn’t annoy you, you can safely take her to the registry office - the time has come.
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Successful4
Nowadays, the idea of gender equality is gaining more and more followers not only among women, but also among men. The latter are already more relaxed about ladies who earn more and are able to provide for their family. And yet the patriarchal way of life still persists in the minds of people and it is unknown when it will be completely eradicated.
In the meantime, it exists, that is, men who are afraid of successful women, especially when they are much superior to them. Such relationships can cause him unpleasant sensations inside, a feeling of awkwardness, and he is not far from complexes.
All this will then result in external irritation and discontent. A man will feel that he simply cannot match a woman and provide her at the same level, so he will decide to find someone with whom he will feel successful.
What to do: give out information about yourself in doses. You don’t need to talk about your successes and income right away, otherwise it will scare him away. It is better to find out what he has achieved - this will demonstrate interest in the partner.
How to check?
If fidelity is the criterion that has the most important role for you, then the question of how to ensure its fidelity will be very relevant. It is better to live together before marriage in order to observe how her behavior and attitude towards you will change with the beginning of everyday life together. Her style of relationships with friends and relatives can tell a lot.
Faithful people are faithful in everything, and even if they take a kitten from the street, they bear full responsibility for it until the cat’s last breath. Such girls will not approve and justify the lady whom you invent and tell your beloved about how she cheated on your friend. She will never condemn, but she will not justify either.
You cannot become faithful by your own decision. You can be one from the very beginning. It is easier to soberly assess the chances of fidelity than to then check your spouse for adultery, which is often discovered after the fact.
I would like to give advice to men: if you meet a faithful woman, appreciate her, cherish her. Such individuals usually experience your betrayals and lies very painfully, even if they are silent and say nothing about it.
Zaumnykh5
No matter what men say, they are afraid of smart women and, therefore, avoid them. Moreover, according to research by American scientists, initially they are pleasant and interested in communicating with intellectually developed girls, but after getting to know them better, the attraction begins to disappear. A man reduces communication to nothing, avoids and distances himself from a woman. The reason is the same: the stronger sex begins to feel uncomfortable, as if their masculinity is being infringed upon.
But it's not that simple. Guys are not interested at all with stupid dummies. In fact, men avoid arrogant female representatives, and not those who have intelligence. It’s unpleasant when she puts herself above, tries not to show her intelligence, but to crush and almost crush a man with it.
What to do: Don't brag. Truly smart ladies will never belittle their chosen one. His ignorance is not at all a reason to grin and roll his eyes, giving explanations like a small child. If he wants to know, he will find all the information himself, or you can do it with him, guiding but not forcing.
Myths about male choice
Many psychologists openly say that modern young ladies are completely illiterate in the science of charming the stronger sex. They are not able to understand how men choose a woman for themselves, and for the sake of the attention of a nice guy they begin to transform their appearance, invent various false stories and exaggerate their own merits. They are driven to such behavior by the most common myths about the qualities that a girl must have in order to be taken as a wife.
Guys only pay attention to appearance
When thinking about which girl to choose as a wife, gentlemen of our time will certainly appreciate her appearance. However, huge lips, drawn-on eyebrows and an “outstanding” size 5 bust are not the main thing. Guys, oddly enough, love naturalness. Glamorous beauties with huge extended nails and wide-open eyes with Hollywood eyelashes are just a sex object for them, nothing more. Only a few people decide to marry such a lady.
Men love stupid people
Pretending to be a fool and being one are two different things. Not everyone wants to spend their life with a girl who is only interested in shopping, stupid TV shows and manicures. Guys value more erudite and comprehensively developed young ladies who do not boast of knowledge, but maintain a conversation on various topics.
A wife should not be older than her husband
The age difference with the chosen one never bothered the guys. On the contrary, some individuals prefer to deal with older, experienced and less reckless women than young beauties.
What kind of girls do they choose as wives? There are certain patterns that allow you to navigate the criteria for male choice.
Forever dissatisfied6
A man tries for a woman, gives her gifts, shows her attention, earns money, and in return receives only reproaches. Everything is not enough for her, like that old woman from the fairy tale about the goldfish who was left with a broken trough. Greed and eternal discontent can easily destroy love, no matter how strong it is. Don't take what you have for granted.
What to do: don’t be the mistress of the sea. Men want to be knights in shining armor for their lovers. They are truly ready to treat them like princesses or even queens. But this does not mean that a woman should behave like a spoiled especially blue-blooded woman. A man should not feel obligated; he will very soon get tired of this attitude.
In general, it is already possible to draw conclusions about female traits that are attractive to men. All that remains is to summarize everything and sort it into categories in order to understand which women men choose.
Formula for a happy marriage
When a man is faced with the question of choosing a bride, he automatically compiles in his mind a classic list of advantages that ideal women should have.
Everyone has their own priorities. Some people want a kind and affectionate housewife, caring and modest, while others want a smart and beautiful woman so that she can shine in society. The third secretly dreams of a rich heiress who would solve financial problems in the family, and the fourth, the main thing is to have a passionate lover in bed.
There are also individuals who don’t care what kind of wife they are, they just wish they could get one as soon as possible and settle down. This is done under pressure from society - so that they will finally leave him alone, because now he has the status of a married man with a family.
They all definitely want to be proud of their wives and show them off to friends and colleagues. But among women there are cunning creatures who, if desired, can depict everything at once and at the same time. Alas, this does not last long until she uses a man, so you should not trust the list and rush to add all the advantages of the next candidate you like.
Some naive grooms are in a hurry to give their heart to the first girl they meet who reciprocates their feelings. The reason for such haste is the lack of experience in communicating with the opposite sex or the long tedious wait for a soul mate.
What is a happy marriage? These are, first of all, successful partnerships.
According to the American psychologist John Gottman, author of the book “The Mathematics of Marriage”, who has studied the problem of divorce for decades, the decisive factor in a happy marriage is not love, but strong friendship - the basis of strong stable relationships.
Therefore, when choosing a wife, first proceed from the same criteria that guide you when choosing a friend.
Self-confident7
Yes, the stronger sex does not like it when a woman is so self-confident that she begins to belittle her partner. However, low self-esteem also does not attract men. Firstly, you need to find a middle ground, and secondly, understand that confidence does not equal self-confidence.
Girls who know their worth are automatically placed in a man’s eyes at a level higher than others. It is interesting to pursue such ladies, and besides, the partner will be charged by her self-confidence. This is especially important for successful men.
Men don't want to hear constant whining about a woman's complexes. Sooner or later, they will say: yes, that’s how it is, you need to get better, good luck in this matter, and I guess I’ll go.
Who attracts male attention:
Recommendations that will help you attract the attention of a representative of the stronger sex
Tips to help you in this situation:
- Appearance plays an important role. Not everyone likes too artificial young ladies. But neat clothes, well-groomed hair, hands, and face are important attributes. Guys like dresses that flatter their figure.
- Smile, be positive. Representatives of the stronger sex really like such women.
- Identify common interests with the young person and support them. To build a long-term relationship, you need to live his life. Find out what he is interested in, where he goes, how he lives - you need to find common ground.
- Be interesting, develop yourself. Girls who are versatile, passionate about something, and able to carry on a conversation arouse much more interest.
- Try to be yourself. Men are smarter than we think. They feel falsehood and deception, and this really spoils the impression. And you can't pretend all the time.
- Psychologists advise showing a sense of humor - it speaks of your easy-going character and ability to defuse the situation. But don’t overdo it and don’t abuse the jokes on the chosen one himself.
- Know how to listen and hear him.
- Appreciate him and praise him. Guys are like children in this regard—it’s impossible to praise them enough. But be sincere: false flattery will be noticed and will leave a bad impression of you.
- Don't be intrusive. Many young people welcome women's initiative, but obsession is something else. He may want to be alone, that's normal. He may have his own interests, friends, time spent in male company. This needs to be understood and accepted.
- Stay mysterious. Don’t rush to immediately lay out everything about yourself, demonstrating all your strengths and weaknesses. Reveal new facets gradually.
- Do not live only for him and the relationship - this way he can quickly lose interest in you. You are also a person. You have your own interests and life apart from him.
- Avoid criticism. Few people will like this. Support him and motivate him.
For some reason, many people consider a wedding to be some kind of magical ritual. After which you can relax and rest on your laurels. The partner, they say, isn’t going anywhere, so why waste your energy. In such couples, the husband and wife often gain weight after marriage. They stop taking care of themselves and are ashamed of their physiological processes, becoming vulgar and rude. A depressing sight, isn't it?
Remember that a stamp in your passport does not guarantee you the eternal love of your chosen one. She can easily fly away from your common nest. And then you will have to ask yourself the question again: How to choose the right wife?
Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
What kind of women do men choose? Smart?8
No, there are no contradictions here. Men choose intelligent women who are able to carry on a conversation and can pleasantly surprise. Judging by sociological surveys conducted in 30 countries, men value intelligence more than external data. This is especially noticeable in developed countries. A man with a higher education is looking for a companion to match him. This is understandable, because he will simply be bored with a beautiful but ignorant girl, they will have nothing to talk about.
In addition, smart ladies themselves know perfectly well not only how to win a man, but also how to keep him. And they never demonstrate their intellectual superiority, understanding how important it is for a man to be in charge.
Ideal parameters
If we build the top characteristic criteria that a man always keeps in mind when thinking about his future wife, then the ideal wife should be:
- beautiful and well-groomed;
- smart, but not smarter than her husband;
- flexible, but with character (personality);
- balanced;
- economic.
It was not for nothing that the last item ended up at the bottom of the list, since men remember it, as a rule, realizing some practical side of the issue after they have listed what really worries them. The exception is “mature husbands” who have already been married before - for them this aspect may even be on the second or third level of the top, but, of course, not before the external characteristics of the chosen one.
What kind of women do men choose? Attractive?9
There is no escape from this. Men still love with their eyes, and the first thing people pay attention to is appearance. A woman may not have long legs, a thin waist, a wide bust and other characteristics of models from the covers of glossy magazines.
But she should still always look well-groomed. You don’t even have to spend thousands of rubles on personal care. You can create a stylish wardrobe from the simplest things. You can always find a way to tidy up your hair. A woman does not need to change herself, just add a little shine, grace and charm to her appearance.
The ideal wife - myth or reality?
This and the next section seem to be discussing the same topic, but they are not. How a man imagines his future, without yet having in mind a specific object with which he could connect it, and how this future should be are two different things. Now let's talk about grandiose plans and fantasies, the name of which is the ideal wife.
The creation of a reference image, if it does not turn into an obsession, is a normal state of the process of stimulating consciousness, working for the future. If a person did not have the ability to dream, he would not strive to realize both himself and the space around him; in other words, would be mired in the swamp of the current moment. The pursuit of the ideal is the norm, despite the fact that everyone understands the very absurdity of the idea. After all, in fact, none of us needs an ideal; it is impossible to fall in love with it.
It often happens that “the one” towards which the heart trembled is strikingly different from the image embodied in the thought form, but what is interesting is that from that moment the thought form itself, the ideal so carefully cultivated in the mind, changes radically and acquires completely earthly and imperfect. It is a proven fact that the first girl who changed the features of a soulless but ideal mental model to her own parameters, for many years, or even for the rest of her life, dooms a man to look for these features in other women.
What kind of women do men choose? Confident?10
It is important that they are confident and not self-confident. If she wants to be loved and desired, then first of all she needs to love herself, as she is. A woman must understand that she is worthy of happiness, then it will naturally reach out to her. Confidence makes you walk with your head held high, your posture straight, thanks to it a smile appears on your lips and your eyes sparkle.
This alone adds half the attractiveness to a woman. Alas, often behind external bravado lies internal insecurity, which will still break through and those around you will feel it. You can often see a plump lady around whom men hover, whom women admire, because she literally exudes confidence, charm, and inner energy.
What kind of women do men choose? Grateful?11
We remember that men are offended when the woman they love either ignores his accomplishments done for her, taking them for granted, or, even worse, demonstrates her “finess.” There is no need to say or even hint “this is not enough for me, give me more and better”; no one will like this.
Men, no matter how strong they want to appear, want to be praised for what they do. The opinion of the woman they love is especially important to them, and her approval is the best reward for him.
You shouldn’t believe that the stronger sex doesn’t need compliments; everyone enjoys receiving them. It is also important for them to feel their importance and value in the eyes of their chosen one. Smart women know how to give a compliment without words; often an admiring glance or an approving smile says much more.
What kind of women do men choose? Sincere? 12
There is no need to try to manipulate a man, resort to threats, refusal of sex, tears, screams, hysterics. Such behavior will not lead to anything good. Most likely, the result will be exactly the opposite. He will be scared and will not want to deal with someone from whom you don’t know what to expect, when her mood changes from bad to good and back again. In the end, the chosen one will simply run away.
Men choose those women who will not mess with their brains, play the silent game, forcing them to guess their desires and feel eternally guilty. For the same reasons, he will give preference to an honest and balanced young lady.
They like it when they speak directly and explain what the problem is. This shows a high degree of trust in the couple, established contact between two people, and the ability to communicate.
