In correspondence with a girl, not everything always goes smoothly. At some point, she may begin not to respond to SMS, do it with a long delay, read it, but not send anything in response - all this is popularly called ignoring. The same applies to cases when a girl does not even read the first message when you try to meet her. I would like to know the reason for this?
Today we will look at the answers to the question why a girl doesn’t respond to messages (spoiler: this does not always mean that your relationship is doomed) and we will figure out what to do about it. Even if your messages have never been ignored, I advise you to read this article to be fully equipped for the future.
Things that make it clear that you are being ignored
It happens that a girl did not immediately see the message because she was at training or working, her phone was dead - but you never know the reasons! But this is not your story if there are these signs:
- She read the message, but has not responded for over an hour.
- She does not respond, but at the same time publishes entries; the website shows that she is online.
- You write her another message, but this time it no longer appears as read.
Even if you encounter these signs, there is no reason to be discouraged until you understand the reason. Your further strategy of behavior will depend on it. And there can be many situations!
Errors
Women are very different from men in logic, emotionality, and psychology. In order to achieve reciprocity and love from the opposite sex and the girl is not silent in response to messages, this must be taken into account. Often inexperienced guys, and even mature men, make a lot of mistakes at the beginning of a relationship.
- They write too often.
- They send the same type of messages, ask the same questions two or three times. The girl gets the impression that the guy does not read the answers or corresponds with several friends at once.
- They inflate their real status and lie. There is also no need to behave too modestly, this repels the female sex, but the lie in this case will quickly be revealed.
- They become aggressive in response to silence and write harsh phrases.
- They threaten in response to refusal to meet.
- They behave too modestly, are offended, sulky, and do not show initiative.
- They talk about ex-wives, girlfriends, cause pity, whine.
- They delay inviting you on a date or calling.
- They are forbidden to communicate with girlfriends, friends, other men, although they have not yet become her lover or even a good acquaintance.
- They immediately make plans for the future. Until you get confidence in reciprocity on the part of a woman, you should not think about how many children you will have or what she will cook for you for breakfast.
- Too predictable.
- They make you bored.
- They require too much attention.
- They constantly sit on the website or in the messenger, tracking the appearance of a new acquaintance for the next letter.
- Ignore important issues.
- They forget about congratulations on their birthday or holiday.
- They add new female acquaintances to the list of friends in VK, OK in batches. Remember that your actions are visible to everyone. The girl understands that you are actively searching and will not become one of several candidates for a relationship.
- They stop writing after several monosyllabic messages, block the girl without explaining the reason.
- They think that ladies should respond to every letter instantly, and they get very angry if they don’t receive feedback right away.
She's testing you so she decided to ignore you
There are provocateur girls who like to test a man. She wants to understand how interested you are in her and how you will behave. Usually, she chooses an insignificant excuse to ignore, which she will speak about only after resolving the situation.
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Adviсe
Psychologists offer their own methods of rekindling a girl’s extinguished interest in a man. Be sure to use them if previous measures have not been successful.
Retaliatory Ignoring
The purpose of the method is to touch the girl to the quick. Perhaps she has no idea what a person experiences when he does not receive an answer to a message or question. The advice will be useful only if the cutie decided to test you and intrigue you with silence.
You need to do this:
- Write a couple of friendly SMS greetings as if you were an ordinary friend.
- Then be online regularly, but don’t write letters or visit your interlocutor’s page.
- Wait a couple of days.
- If a girl texts you, don't reply. It will be difficult, but you will have to be patient.
- The message can be sent after 3-4 days, as if you were writing them reluctantly.
- Return to the normal rhythm of communication gradually, refer to being busy, but constantly be online. Let your interlocutor think that you have other interests.
A response of ignoring will force the woman to become more active or provoke a separation. Any option will be productive: waiting for a girl who is not interested in you makes no sense. If there is a desire to communicate, then the lady will think about whether she needs to provoke her interlocutor to retaliate another time.
Swing
Another way to raise a “obstinate” lady is a psychological swing. It is based on keeping communication in good shape by activating and decreasing the intensity of correspondence. First, write often, respond quickly to SMS. Then disappear for a few days, be offline. If a lady calls, don't pick up. After two days, write as if nothing happened. A few experiments will wean the girl off from ignoring her.
If a short break in communication for educational purposes is painful for you, you can answer your interlocutor’s questions briefly and dryly. Only later will you have to come up with an excuse for your behavior.
Message templates
Now let’s figure out what to write to a girl if she doesn’t respond to messages for a long time, using specific examples. SMS templates will help you avoid doing something stupid. After reading them, the girl will not have the feeling that the guy is too intrusive. You can include in the test message several compliments and hints of a desire to meet.
Hello. We communicated so well recently. I remembered what you said about your love for (the author’s) paintings. There will be an exhibition of his works soon. I have two tickets. Will you join me?
Hello. Listen, I found a cool selection of music that you love on a friend’s wall. Post a link?
I recently talked with a friend, it turns out we have mutual acquaintances. Do you have any idea who I'm talking about?
My Instagram is kind of slow, I can send messages, but I don’t get a response. Is this the case with you too?
I don't want to bother you with text messages. But there is a feeling that something has gone wrong with us. I really want to continue our friendly communication, because we have a lot in common. By the way, I watched a cool movie today. I can share my impressions.
Maybe I offended you in some way, I'm sorry. I’m sure I can make amends) I really like you, so I worry, sometimes I’m stupid. Give me another chance.
Phone call
If you can't win a girl through correspondence, try calling her. You can get the phone number in instant messengers, sometimes it is listed in the profile on the website with contacts (Instagram, OK, VK). Be sure to think about what you will talk about in advance. Option “How are you?” Definitely not suitable for a call.
- Invite on a date.
- Tell us that you really wanted to hear her voice.
- Congratulate you on your birthday or other holiday, if there is a reason.
- Give a couple of compliments.
The first telephone conversation may be short. But it is advisable to agree on the possibility of calling back regularly.
If a girl hangs up or doesn't pick up the phone, don't bother her with calls. The lady makes it clear that there is no need to seek her favor. Perhaps she has another one.
It is not difficult to achieve mutually interesting communication via SMS if the interlocutors have the same views, opinions, and hobbies. Girls often ignore guys after the first or second attempt to make acquaintances, and then become more supportive. Don’t lose your desire to win the heart of the lady you like right away. Use our advice and everything will work out.
What to do if a girl doesn't respond to a message
There are many options for what to write if a girl doesn’t answer and how to behave. The main thing is not to let the situation take its course if you are interested in a girl, but at the same time not to be intrusive. You'll need to become a cold-blooded strategist to win her back:
- Try sending another message from the examples below. If possible, it is better not to send SMS, but to call and chat to understand exactly what is happening.
- If you realized that you offended the girl in some way, then simply apologize. Explain that there was a misunderstanding and you didn’t want to offend her.
- Give her time. If he doesn’t respond in a day, try in a week; if necessary, wait a month. But don’t rely too much on SMS: a personal chance meeting will help establish communication faster.
- If you corresponded on a social network and she disappeared, then try to contact her in other ways. Maybe she forgot her password, was blocked, lost her phone and has not yet restored all the applications. There can be a lot of reasons.
- If a girl ignores you, try asking her to meet.
Reasons for silence
Silence in response to an SMS from a man can have several reasons:
- The girl is not in the mood. Perhaps the young lady has encountered difficulties in her life, a period of PMS has set in, and fatigue has accumulated. You should wait a bit. After normalization of the state of mind, the answer will most likely come with a hint of an apology.
- The interlocutor is busy with other things. It is always impossible to respond to an email instantly. The young lady probably has work, household chores, friends
- The girl doesn't like your messages. If SMS messages contain obscene jokes, ambiguous hints, or rudeness, there is no need to ask why the girl does not respond to them. Young ladies are delicate and vulnerable natures. It is almost impossible to predict what could have offended or offended them.
- The day before there was a quarrel between you. You can quarrel for any reason: rudeness, a bad joke, the wrong topic. The interlocutor is offended and wants to stop communicating.
- The girl's relationship with her ex-boyfriend is not over. An ex-lover may be nearby and resist making new acquaintances.
- The young lady is too shy and modest. She doesn't know how to respond to your invitations to meet, love declarations. In such situations, girls often turn to forums and friends for help, and the guy languishes with anticipation, remaining alone. This is normal for a young age.
- The girl is married and is not at all interested in other young people. To avoid such situations, you need to ask about the woman’s marital status right away.
What not to do if a girl decides to remain silent
So, the girl reads the messages, but does not respond. You are in a panic: your pride is hurt and you have succumbed to emotions, so you begin to put pressure on her and immediately apply all the methods that you have learned about, but this cannot be done, just like these things:
- Don’t write to her “Where did you go? Why are you ignoring me? Answer please!". The correspondence promises to be long, but one-sided, and after that you risk being blocked altogether.
- Don’t be aggressive: “If you don’t answer, that’s fine! I didn’t really want to talk to you! I would just say that you’re not interested in me!” If a girl doesn’t write, then after such SMS she won’t want to answer at all.
- Don’t threaten: “I’ll send you messages until you answer!” You shouldn’t write something like that: it won’t help you win favor.
- Don’t proudly put a point: “If you’re interested in me, now write yourself.” He won’t write unless something is needed. Only your correct initiative can turn the situation around.
- Don't call mutual friends or her parents. If a girl takes a long time to respond to messages, then she will be unpleasant that everyone around her will know about it. It's hard to get rid of guys who behave this way, so it's better not to let them into your life right away.
- When she finally answers, treat it neutrally: without unnecessary joy and without dissatisfaction.
If a girl ignores you, then don’t be upset: there are reasons for everything. She may be hesitant to answer or be offended, but it is extremely rare that the reason for silence is that she is not interested in you. This may be the case if you don’t know each other, but if you’ve already communicated and she chooses to pointedly ignore you, then that means, at a minimum, she’s thinking about you. But if you understand that this is not so, then have pride and with dignity just leave the person who does not value you.
Acceptable Ignore and Alarm Signals
Okay, we must admit that each of us at least once responded to the interlocutor with short messages or did not write anything at all in response. There could be a million reasons for this, some of which I give in this article, but now the main thing is not “why”, but “what does it mean”. When should you perceive a temporary pause in a conversation as a natural element of it, and after which should you tense up?
In these cases, the girl’s ignoring does not mean anything and you can ignore it:
- before that, she communicated with you lively and interestedly, answered in more than one word and showed interest in communication;
- after being ignored, she explains where she was missing or at least returns the conversation to the same active direction;
- this happens sporadically or rarely, mostly you communicate normally.
But when her lack of response indicates that she is not in the mood to continue your communication:
- she ignores you most of the time, almost never showed interest in communication;
- it lasts for a long time (more than a week);
- She herself is an active and friendly person, but she is stingy with emotions towards you.
Those who recognized their situation in the first list can stop reading the article at this point. And if you get into the second one, the following blocks are for you.
How not to make a mistake
If communication is not going well, you should not make mistakes:
- remove a girl from friends;
- write aggressive messages or threats;
- blackmail or try to expose the chosen one in the absence of feelings;
- write sad statuses or post confessions on her page.
When communicating with a girl, you cannot consider her the only one in the world. When the understanding appears that she is the same as the others, feelings for her will disappear.
Ignoring is a bad sign in communication between members of the opposite sex. Even if these are temporary difficulties, an unpleasant aftertaste will remain, so after establishing communication, discuss all the problems and ask your loved one not to do this again.
How to deliberately ignore a girl to interest her
Some young people, having once learned the full power of ignoring, continue to actively use the acquired technique in conquering the opposite sex. Of course, you may be afraid to take this step, believing that in this way you will only ruin all relations with your chosen one, but note that if you act competently and thoughtfully, then such behavior will only play into your hands.
Surely similar stories have happened to you: you managed to meet an interesting girl and took her phone number. However, this is where all the good news ended - subsequently you were unable to get through to the girl or you could not get a meeting with her. It is also possible that you generally failed to interest the girl you liked, or that your beloved, after some time of harmonious relationships, suddenly began to destroy them with her behavior.
Such incidents happened to many guys, and how did they most often behave? As a rule, when faced with a girl’s whims or inattention, young people try to win her favor by giving her gifts, trying in every possible way to please, solve some of her problems, get into position, and so on. The maximum that could be achieved after all this was the phrase: “You are a good guy, but I only have friendly feelings for you.” However, the outcome can be even worse - the girl simply asks to leave her alone.
How does “correct” ignoring work?
However, things could be different if you used a technique that pick-up artists call “close-far” - ignoring is part of this technique. Ignoring refers to the “further” part. Many may be surprised that someone can behave this way when seducing a girl, believing that in this circumstance, on the contrary, the emphasis should be on increased activity, and not let everything take its course. In general, this opinion is wrong, and over time, many guys realize that it is not always possible to achieve a positive result if you constantly “go on the offensive.”
It is important to realize that ignoring is a preliminary and often necessary step before other actions. He pursues a specific task - the establishment of incorrectly built or begun relationships. The point of ignoring to a large extent is to disappear from the field of view of your chosen one for a certain period, thereby allowing her to miss you and think about you. Also, by ignoring you can achieve another goal - to smooth out the opinion about yourself if it is not very good, because we all know that over time a person reacts less sharply to everything bad and forgets about some disappointments. For example, you behaved incorrectly and the relationship went in the wrong direction. This suggests that you need to take a break and get the girl to think differently. We all know that it is better to start again after a certain time-out.
We also note that ignoring someone helps many people to underestimate the importance of a girl. If you don't show interest in her for a while, the girl who liked you even a little will undoubtedly start to worry and think about what's wrong with her or why you're barely paying her attention. Subsequently, these experiences may turn out to be in your favor - you simply explain that you were busy with something very important (if explanations are needed) and invite her on a date. Surely, after such a buildup of emotions, the girl will not refuse you. If this does happen, then hide again for a while and try again.
Ignoring can also be used if a girl behaves strangely and provokes conflicts. Many guys at these moments try to improve everything with gifts, signs of attention, when they just need to disappear for a while. Then explain it as something you needed to think about. During the period of your ignoring, the girl will reconsider her behavior and understand that she has “overstepped” and there is no need to do so.
Reasons provoking female ignorance
They can be different, as far as possible grounds for the emergence of such a radical solution are possible. But before despairing, it is necessary to properly analyze the situation itself. It is likely that clarifying the reasons will help choose a constructive model of behavior.
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Resentment and anger
In this state, ignoring is a natural and reasonable form of behavior. The girl closes herself in negativity and refuses to make contact. Resentment makes you avoid additional communication. There is no need to send thousands of SMS with confessions. They don't make sense. Being intrusive in this case is a bad way to try to restore a relationship. Trying to woo your chosen one through messages is unwise.
Until the offense completely passes, the person will not hear you.
Desire for revenge
Sometimes the chosen one suddenly stops responding. She can block any messages on social networks. Just suddenly everything changes irrevocably. The correspondence ends literally overnight. You have to use your imagination just to try to change her attitude. The intention to take revenge comes from resentment and the inability to change the situation. If a girl ignores him, this does not mean that she is not interested in the guy. Perhaps she is going to teach him a lesson and has come up with her own way of doing it.
Losing interest
In some cases, there really is a decline in mood and a reluctance to communicate anymore. When a girl suddenly began to ignore, perhaps she already had someone else. Remember that she has the right to delete online correspondence completely. She should not explain the apparent reasons for ending the interaction. Some ladies are looking for gentlemen, guided by certain principles: decent earnings, prospects for further career growth. Loss of interest can be due to any reason.
Personal animosity
If a friend categorically refuses to communicate, there is probably hatred going on. Perhaps she was offended by some harsh phrases or an outburst. If a lady suddenly blocked everything, it’s not without reason. In this case, there is no need to expect a positive answer. Most likely, you will have to deal with aggressive behavior and reluctance to make contact. Before making a final conclusion, it is useful to analyze your own feelings.
This will make it possible to understand the essence of what is happening. Breaking up on VKontakte is not a rare thing. The guy can write to someone else.
She has free time
Moreover, even if he is not there, she will find him. Let's be honest - when a man likes a woman, he is ready to move mountains. If a girl likes a man, she is capable of more. Girls can immediately abandon all their plans in order to spend time together. Yes, this is not always possible, but she will try.
If she has a really busy schedule, she will say that it won't be possible to meet at the time you suggested, but she will offer an alternative option and you will understand that communicating with you is important to her. If a girl constantly postpones dates, then she is not interested in meetings.
Help
If a girl likes you, she will look for a reason to spend as much time together as possible. The easiest option is to ask you for help. If a girl’s car constantly breaks down, repairs are underway, she needs to hang a curtain rod or move a closet, and she constantly makes these requests to you - don’t miss your chance. As a rule, girls always have several options to deal with such issues. If requests to you are repeated regularly, this means that she wants to get help from you.
She can also offer her help. Girls are usually well aware of the life of the man they like. Therefore, do not be surprised if she “accidentally” drops the phrase that she speaks excellent English at the moment when you are looking for a tutor.
A girl who likes you will be interested in your life, trying to find as many common ground as possible. You may find out that she loves the same music, the same movies, the same places.