We often talk not only about the convenience of instant messengers, but also about the side effects that appear because of them. Today we will talk about being ignored in correspondence: I’m sure everyone faces this at least once a year. The interlocutor can read your messages and leave them without reply while online. There are many reasons for this, let’s look at the most basic ones so as not to get lost in the wild. Who is right, who is wrong and is it worth doing this - make yourself comfortable!
We often encounter people being ignored on social networks. Why is this happening?
What is ignore for?
Typically, ignoring on social networks and instant messengers is used for two purposes - to protect yourself from an intrusive interlocutor or to manipulate a person. If everything is clear with the first point (you have a colleague or friend who suffers from parcellation or simply likes to communicate too much), then the second type of ignore is used in close relationships. For example, teach a friend or significant other a lesson for something, for example, for ignoring messages. Some psychologists believe that this is the most powerful tool in interpersonal relationships.
To be honest, this was my first time encountering this tool. What do you think about this?
What is ignoring on the Internet?
Ignoring is a fairly broad concept. In a broad sense, it means a lack of response to human manifestations. Ignoring in instant messengers is a situation when your messages remain unread for a long time. In general, the word itself is an abbreviation for “ignoring.” So the term became much more popular, becoming less official. Thanks to the ignore topic, we got a lot of movies, books, news and even technology.
Do you often find yourself ignored by your interlocutors?
For example, the usual “ Notifications without sound ” feature in WhatsApp or Telegram is one of the most important in the process of being ignored. On the one hand, it allows you to focus on important matters by turning off notifications from an intrusive person. On the other hand, you can offend a person by doing this, especially if you accidentally share a screenshot with him that shows a simple mute icon.
Bad habit
It's like trying to put off something that could actually take seconds and bring enormous relief. Those who do not respond to messages themselves have a negative attitude towards this. They consider it impolite. If someone doesn't answer them, it causes anxiety and makes them think that the other person treats them poorly or doesn't consider them important enough to respond. At the same time, those who like to remain silent behave in exactly the same way.
Some of them do not like long messages in instant messengers, they scold them; such people prefer personal communication. Sometimes they are not confident that they can convey their message correctly.
Why don't they respond to messages?
If we abstract from ignoring as a tool, it turns out that we are unnecessarily complicating the situation. In Telegram or WhatsApp, you may not receive a response because you are busy: the person on the other end of the line simply does not have time to answer you or he does not consider that your messages are worthy of high priority.
Yes, unfortunately, we all have more important things to do, but we don’t want to answer our friends’ jokes. I myself sometimes don’t respond to friends for several hours when I want to get work done. Is this ignoring? To a certain degree. This is an easy manifestation of ignoring - deliberate distancing, delay or lack of reaction, emotions to correspondence.
It is likely that your interlocutor simply fell asleep after a hard day
Find even more articles about social networks and communication on the Internet in our Yandex.Zen!
The reason for this may be a little forgetfulness and emotional exhaustion: you are so tired at work that at the end of the day you look at the incoming messages and forget or do not know how to respond to them. But there is also total ignoring - this is the deliberate exclusion of reactions to a person’s manifestations, even to thoughts about him. For example, you wrote to your ex-girlfriend “How are you?”, but there was no response, although the user was online. Perhaps the chat with you was simply deleted and the messages were not read. By the way, disabling the delivery report in WhatsApp is also part of ignoring. Think about this when you decide to go into the shadows.
What to do if a girl doesn't answer: 4 possible strategies
Sent one more (not more) message
The simplest and surest way. Just don't attack her with accusations that she's ignoring you. Just ask how she's doing, or try changing the subject. Whatever you choose, remember that the main thing is to limit yourself to one message after an unanswered one, so as not to seem intrusive.
Apologize if necessary
Did you realize that you blurted out something wrong? Then find the strength to admit it and ask the girl for forgiveness for your mistake.
Wait
If a girl is out of your reach or is simply busy, then she will definitely answer you when she has the time and desire. Therefore, perhaps you should just wait a few days, and your correspondence will resume with renewed vigor.
Contact her in another way if possible.
Your communication was very warm, and you are puzzled that she disappeared without any explanation? We can assume that she has some kind of problem with the messenger you used.
If you are worried that something happened to her, you can try asking her a private message on another social network or one of her friends. However, if in this case you do not receive an answer, well... On the Internet, alas, this sometimes happens.
- Author: Maria Minaeva
What to do when a man doesn't write
First of all, don't panic or assume that he's losing interest and doesn't like you. When did premature panic draw someone to the right place? Never.
If he hasn't texted you back, it's probably due to one of the reasons we listed above. If you can't tell exactly what it is, then just leave it alone. And please don't dwell on it.
Also, don't text him a million times to follow up. If you've been texting and he hasn't responded, just leave it alone. Don't mess with words:
Are you here??
Hello???
I know the phone is working because you just posted something on Instagram!
Doing this will just make you look like a crazy and pathetic woman. Just don't do anything. If he still doesn't respond... well, then remember that the message doesn't mean much to him. Accept him for who he is and move on.
What is the reason
Some people think that the answer is so easy, so why can’t it be done. But it often happens that a person opens a message and forgets to reply to it, or sees a pop-up notification and tells himself that he will respond later when he has time to think about the answer. And as a result, you always end up in the same situation, responding with “Sorry, I just saw that” or “Damn, I saw it and forgot to answer” a week later, trying not to look like a completely terrible person.
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So, why doesn’t a man write or call?
- Guys are bad at multitasking and can't text all day if they want to get something done.
- Men communicate for the sake of achieving a goal, not for the sake of communication.
- The man is just not that into you.
- Partner is busy
Read more articles about relationships with a man on our blog
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How to get answers
many
unanswered questions on various forums and sites like Stack Overflow The main reason: most of these questions are just bad.
If you would like to ask a question, try going through the list below so that your question does not go into unanswered oblivion:
- Have you Googled your question?
Seriously. Just copy the exact message of your error and spend a few minutes reading the results. This will solve 90%+ of all the problems you are facing. - Okay, Google didn't help.
What's next? I do not believe you.
Search some more, try changing some search terms and removing everything specific to your
case (for example, project name, etc.). - Maybe ask a colleague?
If you work in a team, ask for help. Two heads are often better than one, and it's usually easier to find the answer sitting next to someone than it is via the Internet. - No colleague?
How about a duckling? I know this may seem stupid, but often the duckling method can help put problems into perspective or even solve them. Just try voicing exactly your problem to someone (or something) and see if something clicks for you. I know it sounds stupid, but you'll be surprised how effective the results can be. - Consider checking in "niche" locations.
If applicable, consider checking the GitHub repository for your specific issue or question. Or use the search function on some "niche" forums or sites (eg "sending email in MVC" on the ASP.NET forums). By the way, these sites may not be indexed, so they are more difficult to find in search engine results. - Still nothing.
What to do? If you still have no luck, then it's probably time to go somewhere. Again, most likely, a similar problem was solved before you, but you will discover this only later.
Eternal apologies
Some people have a nasty habit of reading messages, replying in their head, and then not sending anything at all. But, believe me, all the apologies of such people are actually sincere. Few of them actually like to be like this. They don't like to pick up long-running threads of an old conversation and try to turn them into something exciting. They don't like the idea of someone sitting around waiting for a message and feeling weird or anxious about it. But despite all this, this habit is very difficult to break.
Write to someone else
We are talking, first of all, about friendly relations. If your friend doesn't answer you, write to another friend and ask to meet. Why bother yourself with the fact that they don’t answer you when you can write to someone else who will answer?
If you don’t have other friends to whom you would like to write now, then focus your emotions on making more connections, rather than investing completely in one person, so that later, when he is unavailable, you will be nervous and not know what to do.
By the way, if a friend still unsubscribes, and you have already agreed to meet with another person, do not cancel your plans. Since a person did not consider it necessary to respond to your message in a timely manner, why should you now adapt to him to the detriment of yourself, if the other person considered it necessary to respond immediately and expressed his readiness to see you?
She's testing you so she decided to ignore you
There are provocateur girls who like to test a man. She wants to understand how interested you are in her and how you will behave. Usually, she chooses an insignificant excuse to ignore, which she will speak about only after resolving the situation.
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The girl stopped responding: 8 possible reasons why
She has reasons that have nothing to do with you
Just like in the sixth point of the previous list, the girl with whom you were corresponding may be completely absorbed in affairs or problems in her life. Moreover, if something really serious happened, she may not have the strength, time, or opportunity to tell you that she is busy now.
Your correspondence seems boring to her
Does the girl respond with short messages, with a long delay, and then disappears completely? Well, it is possible that she is not very interested in communicating with you. And it’s not always possible to do something about it. The same applies to those cases when the girl does not write first, but answers you.
It is important to understand and accept the fact that not all women will always be interested in corresponding with you, and this is absolutely normal.
You accidentally offended her
Has your girlfriend suddenly stopped responding to your messages? Then we advise you to carefully re-read your latest correspondence and analyze it carefully. Was there something that might have hurt her or offended her?
Sexist jokes, disrespect for the feelings of believers, aggression towards representatives of a certain group or vulgar hints can alienate a girl from you so much that she will not even consider it necessary to write to you exactly why she no longer wants to communicate with you.
Your messages violate her personal space and scare her.
We think, without further reminder, you already know very well that sending dickpics to girls without their request and clear consent is unacceptable. The same applies to a direct offer of sex (including virtual sex), if you do not yet have a close enough relationship and the interlocutor has not shown interest in this direction.
You're too intrusive
When you like someone, you want to communicate with this person every free minute. We understand your desire, but we advise you to moderate your ardor. If you literally bombard a girl with messages, and your correspondence lasts for hours, without giving her the opportunity to do anything else, then there is a risk that the interlocutor will get tired of you and run away.
- M+F How often should you write to a girl if you just met? We have the answer. The question is almost a million.
She started dating someone
This also happens. When a girl is actively searching, she, like you, can correspond with several men at once, eventually giving preference to one of them and focusing all her attention on him. And although this is offensive, remember that there is no betrayal in this.
She didn't see the message or forgot to reply.
Since correspondence with you is not the only thing a girl does during the day, it is possible that your new message will escape her attention. Remember, you probably yourself at least once, while reading a message and coming up with an answer, got distracted and, of course, forgot to send it. The same thing could happen to her.
She doesn't know what to answer
In any, even the most exciting dialogue, sometimes there is an awkward pause when the interlocutor cannot or does not want to respond to the last message received. And unless it was something offensive or inappropriate, in which case you can simply try changing the subject and start talking to her about something else.
Nothing!
Just let this situation go.
Now, in our age of information technology, you can be sure that if you wrote a message to someone, it would reach the person. Plus, considering that the average person spends two hours a day on their phone, you can be sure that even if they don't see your message right now, they will, and very soon.
And since he read it, then if he doesn’t answer you, it’s his decision. And you cannot influence this decision in any way.
Therefore, the best thing you can do in a situation where a person read your message, did not answer you, and at the same time has clearly been online for the last 24 hours, is to simply let go of this situation.
Of course, I don't know the details of your relationship with him. And naturally, maybe something happened to the person. But again, I judge by myself. In the last 15 years, when I messaged someone and they didn't respond, how many times did they not respond to me because something terrible happened?
ZERO!
So I sincerely doubt that your fear that something happened is justified. Most likely, you just really want to have control over your relationship, and when you feel that this control is being deprived of you - and this is what happens when they don’t answer you - you start to get nervous. You are probably also convinced that because you are fooling yourself, you are somehow in control of this situation. But, of course, you don’t control anything, and you understand this with your mind, although you can’t help it.
What if something did happen?
If you could really help, they would probably contact you and ask for help. And if they can’t contact you, then you can’t contact him, which means it’s pointless to write and call.
Let go of this situation!
What to do when a man doesn't answer you
First of all, stop worrying! Guys have no idea what this means for women. Most guys are shocked when we talk about how many questions we get on this topic.
If the lack of response makes you feel uneasy, then the feelings are coming from you. Something inside causes a feeling of fear of rejection. Or maybe it feeds feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness. No amount of texting from him will solve this. You need to dig deeper and figure out the essence of the problem yourself.
Text messages are not a barometer for relationships. Focus more on the quality of time you spend together. And not on the number of words you exchange every day. Naturally, as the relationship develops, the number of words decreases. And you spend more time together. A drop in posts doesn't mean you're going backwards.
Just focus on yourself. Focus on your level of confidence, your sense of value. On controlling thoughts, preventing growth into the zone of obsession. On things that are under control (you and your thoughts). And not on things that are out of control (he and his feelings).
Guys can feel emotions through text. We don't know how the brain does this, but it does. They know when you're coming from a place of desperate need. From a place where you need to react a certain way in order to feel good.
When you control the mind, all the message handling will not be a problem.
