Hopelessness is a feeling that has complex mechanisms of formation, belonging to the negative layer of experiences, the basis of which is the subjective perception of the picture of the world as hopeless, since there is no objective unsolvability. It is born when faced with insurmountable obstacles or the impossibility of correcting what happened, i.e. borders closely on hopelessness, despair, and a feeling of one’s own powerlessness.
A feeling of hopelessness appears when faith and hope for a different outcome of the situation disappear, actions become meaningless and a person realizes the impossibility of changes in the desired direction. The inability to see ways of achieving exactly what you want gives rise to a feeling of hopelessness, since the irreversibility of the desired and pleasant consequences, which will also be impossible to prevent, will cause a feeling of joy and slight euphoria. There is also a version that hopelessness arises with the goal of protecting the nervous system from overload, and a person from wrong actions, being a defense mechanism against the wrong path. Those. It’s easier for the body to cut off the supply of energy to something that the subconscious has already assessed as unpromising than to try to reverse the uselessness.
What it is
A state of extreme hopelessness rarely occurs on its own; usually a person takes an active part in this, driving himself into a hopeless corner, losing faith and giving up. Without being biologically fixed at the level of reflexive behavior, fear, satisfaction, security, and hopelessness are largely regulated by the person himself, his ability to notice meanings and maintain his inner faith.
The feeling of hopelessness is a critical moment in the perception of the world and oneself, influencing changes in the value and semantic space. In such a state, everything takes on a negative connotation and there is no way out anywhere, guidelines and desires are lost, the meaning of daily actions, and possibly the whole life. Lost illusions associated with achieving what you want can turn a person towards other goals, or they can force them to stumble into a dead end of impossibility and slow down their whole life. In such a dead end, there is no strength to turn around to choose another direction and there is a terrible awareness of the impossibility of moving on.
A state of extreme hopelessness leads people to alcoholism and drug addiction as ways to escape from the impossibility of reality, and pushes some to commit suicide. This is the highest measure of development and sensation of this feeling, gradually covering all areas of life, regardless of where it began, like metastases in the last stages of cancer. That is why it is important to notice the first signs of loss of faith and hope for changing the situation, for the prospect of development and overcoming, because these are the internal supports that help overcome hopelessness.
There are many life situations that contribute to the development of hopelessness. This is when your health has deteriorated, and after that your apartment has been robbed, when you don’t have a job you love and close relationships, when a project is not a year old, doesn’t get off the ground, or the child whose treatment you are treating isn’t getting better. There are many other examples, both in everyday life and in unique circumstances, but the worst moments of despair occur when several personally significant factors come together. Personal significance is paramount, because even if people die around you, but these are strangers and not loved ones, it is unlikely that this will shake your previous world order with the same force as the death of one dear person. But at the same time, not critical violations, but from all aspects of life can lead to the same result, taken in quantity. It will feel like there will be two different hopelessness - the first is about the loss of an important sphere of life, the second is about the permanent meaninglessness of life.
The most difficult moments are when several factors are combined, and one of them is basic in a person’s semantic system. Seeing exclusively the destruction of his own needs, a person loses faith in the best and loses the strength to overcome difficulties; he turns out to be able to notice only closed doors, without the ability to look around. In many ways, this inability to look around in search of new meanings and paths is due to the large number of frustrations experienced and the lesson learned that the more you look, the more disappointments you have to experience. Without proper support, possibly psychotherapy, hopelessness of this level leads to thoughts of ending life.
Being in a long-term chronic state of hopelessness, not only the mood and volitional manifestations of a person begin to deteriorate, this affects his personality as a whole, and also affects somatic development. The most common physiological reactions are decreased immunity, weakness, postural disorders (hunched over, stooped), breathing problems (pneumonia and bronchitis), neurological disorders (limb tremors and nervous tics), sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares, intermittent sleep). The longer a person does not get out of the state of hopelessness, the more the disorders worsen, and if in the initial stages it is possible to cope even with physical problems by adjusting the psychological component, then later you have to seek help from physical specialists.
How hope and despair are related
There is something common between despair and hope. This is inaction. That is, both in a state of hope and in a state of despair, a person waits for good events from the outside, without making any effort for this.
For example, a woman gives birth to a child and hopes that he will take care of her, help, love, support her. The child does not do this, and as a result, the woman falls into despair and thinks what and where she did wrong, that there is no hope. This means, in her understanding, that her child is a bad person.
A person who regularly goes to a psychologist, pours out his soul and complains about life, but does nothing on his own, is also in a state of expectant despair and inaction. His choice is empty hopes, which from the outside are in no way supported by actions.
Hopelessness is when a person has passed the extreme stage of despair and has ceased to hope and believe in the best.
Dialogue on the topic of hopelessness in the video, examples and solutions.
Signs of hopelessness
Modern psychology has come to the conclusion that hopelessness is not one specific feeling. It consists of many others. If a person is in despair and hopelessness, then he has both physiological and emotional manifestations.
Features in men
If a man feels like he is in a hopeless situation, then he experiences:
A depressed mood that is not affected by life events or external circumstances.
A pessimistic view of events that will happen or may happen in the future.
A feeling of anxiety and fear that accompanies literally every event in life.
Inability to concentrate on a specific task or activity.
Lack of desire to make any, even the simplest, everyday decisions.
Insomnia or increased sleepiness, reluctance to get out of bed due to hopelessness.
Decreased or complete loss of self-esteem.
Lack of vital energy and motivation to perform any actions.
Features in women
If a woman finds herself in a hopeless situation, in her opinion, then this is expressed:
Lack of pleasant sensations from actions and events that previously brought pleasure.
Attitude to what is happening with an increased degree of pessimism.
A sharp decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence.
The desire to get stuck in monotonous work or household chores.
A gradual increase in negative emotions, an increased risk of lashing out at someone around you.
Fear of your future.
A state of impossibility of entering into the usual life schedule.
Feeling of hopelessness for children
Children can also be susceptible to feelings of hopelessness, since their psyche has not yet settled down or become stronger. For example, if a child loses a loved one, a pet, does not feel support and love from his parents, and experiences fears.
Hopelessness in a child manifests itself in specific signs:
State of regression. For example, a child who is quite capable of going to the toilet on his own begins to wet the bed. Regression can also be expressed in the condition of the fingers, the demand for increased attention from adults, and increased moodiness.
The unexpected appearance of unfounded fears. A previously calm child suddenly began to be afraid of loud noises, the dark, dogs, etc.
Increased aggressiveness. The kid began to throw toys, be rude, fight, respond sharply, and swing at other people.
Deterioration of health. Parents should be alert to intestinal problems, rashes on the body, abdominal pain, and fever.
Sleep disturbance. The child sleeps poorly, does not get enough sleep, and complains of fatigue during the day.
Decline in school performance. Hopelessness negatively affects the processes of memorization, imagination, thinking, and attention. Because of this, grades deteriorate, and teachers receive complaints about inattention and lack of diligence.
Reluctance to communicate. The child stays away from the group of peers, has stopped taking part in games, and there is a decrease in the level of discipline.
If something from the list happened only 1-2 times, then there is nothing to worry about; all people, including children, have bad days and attacks of bad mood. Parents should be alerted if symptoms persist for several weeks.
Since the child’s psyche is quite flexible and pliable, with due attention and proper rehabilitation, the child can quickly recover without the risk of relapse.
How to cope with the feeling of hopelessness - there is a way out
To overcome hopelessness, first of all, you need to work with yourself, with your thoughts:
- Accept the situation, understand that it has already happened, and the past cannot be corrected. But you can act in the present and try to change your future for the better. It's not a shame to admit defeat, it's a shame to do nothing.
- Give yourself the opportunity to mentally rest. You don’t need to force yourself into any kind of framework, but just do what you like. For example, eat a couple of chocolate cakes, watch a good movie, take a walk in the forest or just get a good night's sleep. The main thing is not to blame yourself for all this.
- Do not remain in a static state, provide yourself with at least minimal physical activity (walking, doing exercises, dancing to music).
- Find a goal for yourself that will distract you from gloomy thoughts and soul-searching. It’s not scary if it is everyday and not at all sublime. The main task is to keep yourself busy.
- Try to think as positively as possible and not focus on negative scenarios. If a person is focused only on the negative, then good ways to solve the problem pass by and useful advice is ignored.
- Do not worry about your problem alone, talk about it with loved ones or friends. The opportunity to speak out is already a good way to relieve yourself of the burden of despair. You don't need to be alone, but talk to someone at least once a day.
If a person understands that he cannot solve his problems on his own, then it is important to contact a psychotherapist who will help him get out of the crisis and, together with the client, will think about alternative ways to solve his problems.
Unwillingness to live and despair - what to do in case of extreme manifestations
The feeling of doom can be so strong that a person often thinks about dying. If you are thinking about suicide, you should consult a qualified psychologist or psychotherapist. You can also contact emergency psychological services anonymously by phone.
We talked in detail about methods of dealing with suicidal thoughts in an article about the reluctance to live.
How not to fall into despair - prevention
From constant living in despair, psychosomatic problems arise, the psyche is destroyed, and the quality of life suffers. It is necessary to prevent this condition when everything is good in life, in order to prevent a feeling of hopelessness. What is needed for this:
- Realize the need for hobbies and interests in life, and be sure to leave time for them. Hobbies fill you with energy, which is enough for all tasks.
- More new things in life, the picture should constantly change. New impressions, people, places. This mechanism is formed by evolution, and novelty helps maintain self-confidence.
- If a person is physically active, then the likelihood of feeling hopeless is noticeably reduced.
- Constantly set goals and achieve them. This fills a person with internal resources, joy, a sense of satisfaction and pride in himself.
- Help others, do not remain indifferent to someone else's misfortune. It's energizing.
What else is a good prevention of hopelessness and despair?
It is important to learn to relax, to free your head from negative thoughts (creativity, meditative practices, communication with animals, relaxation methods can help with this).
On our website there is a practice called “Yes, but”, it allows you to look at circumstances from the other side.
How to overcome the despair of lack of money
It is difficult to fight the despair of lack of money, since the modern world broadcasts the attitude that only those who have money are successful. You can do it yourself:
- Learn to spend money wisely.
- Show ingenuity and creativity. Not everything a person needs can be bought with money. You can do something with your own hands, you can repair something old, you can exchange it with someone. There are joint purchases.
- Understand that wealth is not just about money. Rich is the one who can freely manage his time. A rich person is one who has well-established social connections, etc.
- Think about what opportunities were obtained due to a lack of money (for example, the ability to sew, cook with a minimum of ingredients), and also about which of these opportunities will help improve financial well-being.
How not to despair from loneliness
Moments of despair and hopelessness in people are often associated with a feeling of loneliness. How to survive this state and not succumb to negative emotions:
- Realize that the presence or absence of a soulmate does not make a person bad or good.
- Do not meet “the first person you meet” to fill the feeling of inner emptiness.
- Analyze your condition, understand why it’s bad to be alone, what negative consequences may arise from this.
- Read more interesting books, watch quality films.
- Join a club based on your interests. Every city has development centers, coworking spaces, and studios.
- Chat online, look for friends on the Internet.
- Animals are also great friends, so it's worth considering getting a four-legged companion.
- Go for walks more often.
- Realize that a person, first of all, must be his own best friend.
Thank you for reading the article. We would like to remind you that you can find a way out of any situation, the main thing is to change the destructive feeling of hopelessness to actions towards what you want.
Repost the article, send it to your family and friends, save it for yourself so that you can return to the techniques from time to time and work through your negative feelings.
How not to do stupid things out of despair
The feeling of hopelessness sometimes overwhelms a person so much that he stops thinking sensibly and can do stupid things. You can get rid of obsessive thoughts and protect yourself from stupidity in different ways:
- Just take a deep breath and then exhale. Do this exercise several times. Sometimes the brain just needs some fresh air to make a decision.
- Try not to do anything serious in a state of despair. It is advisable to rest, go to bed, and solve the problem with a fresh mind.
- Force your own brain to think in a positive way, imagine the most beautiful and positive outcome of the situation. This will improve a person's well-being.
- Talk honestly with yourself and decide what exactly will change in life if the situation is decided not in the person’s favor. Most likely, nothing major will happen, and troubles can always be solved or corrected. And if you do something stupid, the situation won't get any easier.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help from family and friends, but never descend to ordinary whining and complaints.
Have you ever done something stupid in a state of despair? Do you know how to cope with despair? Share your experience in the comments.
