The doctor’s words “you have cancer” have a deafening effect on any person. He remains in a state of shock from several minutes to several hours. At this time, it may seem that everything is fine with him - he endures the hardships of fate with courage and dignity. When a person out of nowhere begins to cry and complain of weakness, or suddenly begins to diligently clean the apartment and look for new doctors, do not be surprised. This is a normal adaptive physiological reaction in response to a transcendental event, which is considered to be an oncological diagnosis.
Denial, numbness, insensibility, derealization are normal reactions of a person who finds himself in a crisis situation. The American psychologist, author of the concept of psychological assistance to dying patients, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, wrote in her work “On Death and Dying”: a person who has suffered the loss of something very important experiences five states of grief. Shock and denial, the first of these, is “a healthy attempt to cope with painful and excruciating circumstances, acting as a buffer against unexpected shock.”
As a rule, the shock stage lasts no more than 9 days. The sick person may complain of difficulty breathing, stiffness, tension, or vice versa - weakness. He may demonstrate a loss of appetite and interest in what is happening around him, talk about the loss of support, describing it with the phrases “as if the ground had disappeared from under his feet.” Periods of inactivity may be followed by hours of fidgety activity, and insensibility may alternate with bouts of intense crying. This is how the patient psychologically comes to terms with what happened, gathers the thoughts and strength that he needs to overcome a difficult life situation.
It is important to remember that the cancer patient’s delay at this stage, his prolonged denial of what happened, is dangerous. Because a state of shock can develop into depression, which can only be dealt with with the help of a specialist. It has been noticed that such patients often fail to receive timely medical care, which leads to irreparable consequences. We present to your attention a few simple and yet very effective recommendations that have helped many cancer patients survive this stage with minimal losses.
Grieving Lost Opportunities Is What You Need Right Now
When we grieve limitations, we also experience a loss, although not as acute. Loss of hopes, new opportunities, loss of some image of oneself. We say goodbye to the previous version of reality. And this does not happen at one moment, but gradually.
Grief is an extremely unpleasant thing, I’ll tell you honestly. Usually nothing compensating or good can be found in it. It’s just very sad, and the sadness doesn’t go away for a long time, like a wound—it hurts and doesn’t heal.
“So why go through this grief according to your limitations? - you ask. “Isn’t it possible to do it this way?”
For one simple reason. If you accept restrictions, grieving over the inability to “become as good as new” is a clearing of rubble and a start for new freedom, no matter how strange it may sound. Only grief allows you to let go of the emotion so that it flies away and dissolves in the sky. Only grief makes it possible to use in a new way the space that emotion previously occupied.
Yes, the grieving phase is unpleasant. But it can be lived, it is finite, and at the end there is air. Therefore, the best thing you can do is don’t bother yourself. Let it go as it goes. Support yourself through grief and loss as best you can, or seek outside support.
In order to restore your spirit you need to turn to Jesus Christ
To restore your spirit, save your soul from despondency and depression, you can turn to our Lord Jesus Christ by reading Psalm 101.
Icon of the Savior. Photo: pravzhizn.ru
Psalm 101:
Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to You. Do not turn Your face away from me: even if I mourn for a day, incline Your ear to me: even if I call on You for a day, hear me soon. As if my days had disappeared, like smoke, and my bones had dried up. I was wounded like grass, and my heart was gone, as if I had forgotten to bear my bread.
Because of the voice of my groaning my bone cleaves to my flesh. We became like the tawny owl of the desert, like a nighttime corvid on its dive. Bdekh and bykh like a special bird here. All day long I have been reproached by you, and those who praise me are cursed by me. Ashes are gone, like bread is eaten, and my drink is dissolved with tears. From the presence of Thy anger and Thy wrath: as Thou hast exalted and cast down me.
My days have turned away like the shade, and I have dried up like hay. But You, Lord, remain forever, and Your memory endures forever. You have risen, having shown mercy to Zion, for the time has come to show mercy to it, for the time has come. For Thy servants will take pleasure in his stone, and his dust will blight him. And the nations will fear the name of the Lord, and all the kings of the earth will fear Your glory.
For the Lord of Zion will build and appear in His glory. Consider the prayer of the humble, and do not despise their prayers. May this be written for generations, and the people of the land will praise the Lord. As from His holy heights, the Lord looked down from Heaven to earth, to hear the groaning of the chained, to allow the sons of the slain to proclaim the name of the Lord in Zion, and His praise in Jerusalem.
Sometimes the people and the king will gather together to work for the Lord. Answering him on the way of his strength, I will build up the humiliation of my days. Do not bring me to the end of my days: Thy years are in the generation of generations.
In the beginning, O Lord, You founded the earth, and the works of Your hand are the heavens. They will perish, but You remain, and all the garments will be discarded, and all the garments I have worn will be changed. You are the same, and Your years will not become scarce. The sons of Your servants will dwell, and their seed will be corrected forever.
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In order not to lose heart when faced with problems, you need to turn to the saints with prayers
But how can we not lose heart when faced with problems that arise throughout our lives? Everyone should understand that a way out of any even difficult situation can be found. It can be found by turning to the saints with prayers and requests.
It is not necessary to read complex prayer texts. You can address the saints in your simple words. In this case, the most important thing is to apply sincerely from the purest heart. Because we must understand that only sincere prayers said with a pure soul can be fulfilled.
A person who does not want to allow his spirit to fall should regularly go to church, confess and receive communion. In the photo we see a woman confessing to a priest. Photo: s.poembook.ru
Let's figure out how to become a spiritual person, how not to lose heart in any situation? In order to prevent your spirit from falling, to prevent despair, to prevent despondency, you need to pray, fast and go to church.
It is imperative to visit the temple of God at least once a week. In it you can light candles for health, order prayers or magpies for health. In addition, you need to observe fasts. There are 4 known fasts in the Russian Orthodox Church. One of them is Christmas and Easter. Try to comply with at least one of them. But this does not mean that you should give up some food, you should fast spiritually.
Also the main and main point will be your prayer. If something happened to you that you felt that you had given up again, that you wanted to immerse yourself in your thoughts, your problems, you should turn to the saints with prayers for despondency.
To get rid of despondency, you can read the prayer of St. John of Kronstadt
In times of great despondency and sadness, you can turn to John of Kronstadt in prayer.
John of Kronstadt. Photo: hram-aif.ru
Prayer for deliverance from despondency by St. John of Kronstadt:
The Lord is the destruction of my despondency and the revival of my boldness. Everything is Lord for me. Oh, truly this Lord, glory to You! Glory to Thee, the Father Life, the Son Life, the Holy Soul Life - the Simple Being - God, who always delivers us from spiritual death, caused by passions to our souls. Glory to Thee, Trinitarian Master, for from one invocation of Thy name you enlighten the dark face of our soul and body and bestow Your peace, which surpasses all earthly and sensual good and all understanding.
