From childhood, every person is constantly in society - this could be a family, a kindergarten, a school, a university, etc. It’s rare that someone, going all this long way, is left without comrades, but such cases still happen.
It is difficult to imagine that a person can live his life without friends, because everyone needs support, understanding and just company to have fun or share experiences. Of course, some say that all this is offered to them by the family, but one can argue with this, and friendships are still significantly different from family relationships. It is not always possible to share with your parents or spouse what you would entrust to your friends.
The lack of friends can be due to several reasons. This is due to:
- Inability or unwillingness to maintain relationships and build them.
- Disappointment in friendship as such. This may be due to the fact that the person has been betrayed or severely offended in the past.
- Shyness or lack of self-confidence.
- Confidence that support is not needed, that everything can be solved and survived on your own, without the help of others.
This is a list of only the main reasons - there may be much more. Although it is not so important why this happened, the main thing is that it really is a problem, although many do not want to admit it. Everyone needs to be needed and loved, and not just relatives.
Why are friends needed?
One can argue for a long time about how important a role friends play in life, but all their charm can only be appreciated by those who have them, because friends are a second family, and some over time become much closer than relatives. You can choose your friends yourself and they will walk with you side by side throughout the entire journey, and life will show what your relationship is really worth and whether you can trust them.
A person without friends is lonely and withdrawn. It is often difficult for him to find a common language with other people, to make concessions, to be happy for someone or to sympathize. Over time, such people become tough and unsociable. They themselves do not understand that the lack of close communication harms them and over time this only gets worse. Moreover, often the problem is in themselves, in the reluctance to meet and find loved ones. Some believe that this minimizes the chance of feeling the pain of resentment. This is simply a defensive reaction and fear of something that in most cases will never happen. But it is impossible to insure yourself against everything in life by cutting yourself off from everyone and living alone. The bulk of fears, complexes and concerns exist only in our heads.
It is, of course, possible to live without friends, but this deprives us of many wonderful moments and joy, because friends give that charge of energy, happiness and freedom that cannot be compared with anything. They will always come to the rescue when you feel bad mentally or physically, they will support you if it seems that there is no way out, and they will tell you the truth when you need it, even if it is oh so unsweetened.
Friends are wealth that does not dry out over the years, but becomes better and more valuable.
There are never many of them. Usually there are only a few people closest to you, but these are the people who will give you their last and will never leave you. They become so close that they know you better than you know yourself.
Without friends, a person cannot be a complete person; he will always seem to be missing something. It is impossible to feel harmonious if there are no people nearby with whom you can share your thoughts and experiences. Even the most inveterate introvert sometimes wants to sit in a quiet place with someone with whom it’s nice to be silent. After all, a true friend understands you without words.
Why difficulties may arise
It's much easier to make friends as a child
In your childhood, you made friends very easily; it was enough to play in the same sandbox or jump on a trampoline together. Now things are a little different. Why can difficulties arise and in general, it’s normal if there is no camaraderie.
- At a young age, friendships began literally out of the blue, with the slightest common views, for example, dislike for a certain teacher.
- There is no urgent need for new people to appear in your life. At an earlier age there was a need for social development.
- At an advanced age, it is more difficult to find a person who will fully meet your needs.
What are the consequences of not having friends?
While the lack of friends is morally unpleasant, it also has a negative impact on health and overall well-being. After all, whether it is joy or sadness, if there is no one to share it with, then everything remains only in thoughts. Psychologists have long argued that in order to cope with pain or negative emotions, you need to tell someone about them, speak out loud about your experiences. In the absence of friends, a person has to cope with stress on his own, and this is detrimental to the cardiovascular and nervous systems in the first place and to health in general. This explains why lonely people die earlier than those with close friends and family.
Why friendship is necessary
You need to think about why friendly relations between people are needed at all.
- Sharing common interests and values.
- Supporting each other in difficult times, the opportunity to pour out your soul to someone.
- A feeling of your value and importance for another person.
- The ability to communicate with a person without the need to live in the same area.
How to find friends?
Undoubtedly, finding friends is not an easy task. This can take a long time, because it is impossible to predict what a person really is and how he behaves in various life situations. All this is learned with experience and gradually. Some are not ready, or simply do not want to spend a lot of time to establish relationships, maintain them and have the strength to survive quarrels and misunderstandings. In addition to all this, it is important to be able to forgive and find compromises. And it’s not uncommon to come across people who disappoint and betray, strengthening the belief that it’s easier and calmer without friends. The main thing is to be sure that everything will work out, and you will definitely find those who will become close to you.
It is necessary to constantly develop, go to all kinds of meetings, trainings and social events, not be afraid to communicate and make new acquaintances.
There will be people who will support you in your interests, and over time communication can become closer. Most will remain just acquaintances, but among them there will be those who will become close friends, and it is impossible to predict who exactly.
You should not be afraid to look for opportunities to communicate by any means - for this there is the Internet, telephone and other types of communication. Even if for some reason you don’t have time to talk with friends often, you can correspond with them and send various photos. Now this is not a problem, all types of communication have the right to life if a person is dear to you, if you are ready to share part of your life and warmth with him.
Having friends is nice. Comrades are able to bring into your life the warmth of their soul, a piece of the kindness of their heart. The presence of a dear person nearby will allow you to overcome the necessary trials if they happen. In addition, you can have fun with friends, relax and work. It’s not worth giving up such an amazing opportunity - to have true comrades and to be needed by someone.
Exceptions
A lot can be forgiven and understood if a person is aware of his shortcomings, strives to compensate for his harm to the people around him and tries to change. If he admits his problems, can at least temporarily pull himself together and takes care not to harm his loved ones with his characteristics - not all is lost. And if you can notice real progress in his behavior, appreciate him, whatever his initial shortcomings and problems. Continuous effort is very rare among people.
Extroverts and introverts
All people are divided into two types: extroverts and introverts.
If extroverts are open to the world, they are ready to share their thoughts, emotions, experiences, it costs them nothing to approach any person and start a conversation with him, then an introvert is a closed person who prefers to be alone with himself, trusting mainly only himself.
It is not common to find pure types that have the behavioral characteristics of only one type. More often than not, two opposites coexist in one person in unequal proportions.
Each type has its own problems. For example, extroverts may suffer reputational consequences for being extremely open or trusting the wrong person. Extroverts also expect a lot from people and from life, so there is a risk of being disappointed at some point.
Introverts are often compared to a snail and a turtle - creatures that, in case of danger, hide in their own home in the hope of isolating themselves from the entire hostile world. Hiddenness, isolation, being outside of society are some of the biggest problems of introverts.
But there is also that trouble that any person can have, regardless of his psychological type. This is the problem associated with not having friends.
Homeless man's goal setting
People who have been able to return from vagrancy to a normal life agree on one thing: you need to overcome your despair and set small but achievable goals: find a roof over your head, save up for new shoes, find a place where you can wash regularly. Subsequently, they will develop into more tangible ones: finding a job, restoring documents. And you also need to enlist the support of people: even if it seems to you that the whole world has turned against you, this is not so. If two doors close, a third one will open, the main thing is to knock more persistently.
Nowadays, homeless people have a great way to ask for help: social media. By telling your story on your page or in a popular city public page and achieving its dissemination, you will certainly receive support - even if you are in a foreign city and completely alone. The identifiable victim effect can work to your advantage in this case.
The illusion of help
There are all kinds of charitable organizations and homeless assistance centers, but is it really possible to get support from them? To be placed in a shelter, they may require papers - many homeless people in Moscow have described such cases. Where did the homeless person get his documents? Points for distributing hot meals are also a controversial story, since, having jostled in queues with lathered and dirty tramps, you risk not only getting even more dirty (even if your clothes are relatively clean), but also becoming infected with scabies, lice and other not very pleasant conditions homeless existence due to illness. But here everything is measured by the degree of despair: if you want to eat, you won’t tolerate it. Charitable foundations, as if in mockery, offer a humanitarian package with cereal, which, apparently, is offered to be chewed raw. There is no point in knocking on the thresholds of deputy reception rooms, city administrations and other municipal institutions - it is easier to die under their doors than to wait for help.
Sometimes homeless people ask clergy for protection. It would seem that it would be a charitable deed to shelter someone who has lost their home. But it is unlikely that you will be able to spend the night in the church or even on its territory. Things are different with monasteries: they more willingly accept those who are looking for housing and food, but in exchange for a bed and three meals a day, the homeless person will be loaded with the most difficult and dirty work, knowing that he has nowhere to go. You also cannot count on sympathy and friendliness.
In general, the reality is that if you are left on the street, you will have to muster all your willpower to survive. You will need perseverance, ingenuity and a disruptive character more than ever before.
Life changes
It was unusual for us to get used to a new way of life. Therefore, we tried our best to cope with the situation when nothing is possible and restrictions are everywhere. Many experienced this time very hard, but in the end everyone managed to get used to the new rules. When the opportunity arises to go to a fun party again, sit with friends in a cafe, go to the theater or concert, you need to get used to it again. That is, returning to communication turned out to be the same enormous change that you need to get used to. In addition, many people have found remote jobs and rearranged their schedules to be at home all the time. This also affected some children who were reluctant to return to school.
What to do with clothes
At first you'll be left with decent clothes, but sleeping on the streets and living as a homeless person will take their toll.
Since we are judged by our appearance, our chances of finding a job and getting help from strangers drop sharply if you are wearing dirty cast-offs. Firstly, try to clean yourself up as much as possible and not get too dirty - even if you are homeless, you don’t have to look like a homeless person. Secondly, if you still have a mobile phone, go to sites with advertisements and look for clothes as a gift. It is also possible to get help from the church: sometimes parishioners leave clothes there for those in need. However, even clean and washed clothes won't last long if you don't shower regularly. How can you do this if you are homeless? In the summer, homeless people swim in city ponds - it’s better than nothing. In large cities there are special baths for them, where they can wash completely free of charge. Sometimes friends let you swim and wash your clothes once.
