Pride is useful and necessary for a person. It allows you to follow your beliefs, maintain internal balance, maintain self-esteem, not allow yourself to be humiliated, and teaches you to value yourself. But what to do if pride develops into arrogance - a cocktail of pride, selfishness, arrogance and arrogance. Believers consider it a mortal sin. Psychology will say that pride interferes with personal development, building relationships, and career advancement. People always have to pay dearly for pride. Loneliness is one of the payment options.
What is pride?
The topic is not easy. On the one hand, pride is often confused with pride or self-esteem, on the other hand, the meaning of pride is understood too narrowly. Few people can see and admit their pride. It can be even more difficult to transform it. This requires: honesty with yourself, awareness and the desire to change something in yourself.
Pride is a very insidious thing. Often it manifests itself in all its glory not in those moments when a person feels bad, but, on the contrary, against the backdrop of growing success and well-being. Pride is often clearly manifested in people engaged in self-development and spiritual practices. And in such cases it can be extremely difficult to recognize.
Types of pride.
Pride is a fixable matter, why is it needed if there are no friends or loved ones left nearby? The simplest thing you can do is start to notice the uniqueness of the people around you. That not only you, but everyone around you is unique and inimitable. And thank those who are nearby, accept them out of a sense of gratitude, and everything will work out.
Many people walk around with their heads held high and think that they are very important people. Consciously or unconsciously, they increase their importance and the importance of their personality. And pride is a sin, or let’s say that it is dark arrogance.
Pride comes in two different types:
- The first type is material pride , when you have achieved some success, acquired material wealth, benefits, and now you show everyone how cool or tough you are. You want to tell everyone and show off your brand new watch, the latest iPhone model, your cool car, clothes, and so on. You consider yourself better than others. You are arrogant towards other people. There is also material pride in the career ladder, sports, at school, in a high position, in the government, and many other places, when because of your “status” you do not see “ordinary people”. As a result, you upset the balance; you resort to lower passions and vices and go over to the side of evil and darkness.
- The second type is spiritual pride , when you have achieved some certain results in the development of yourself, or you pretend that you have achieved something, on a subtle and spiritual plane. It's good to develop, but you also shouldn't be arrogant. If you have achieved or learned something, then well done. You can tell it, share it with people, but you shouldn’t pretend to be a “mega-super sage” who knows everything better than anyone else. Inflated self-esteem and arrogance will not lead to good things.
Therefore, we must fight pride and not allow it to exist. You can be proud, but the main thing is to see the line between pride and pride. Then the balance will not be disturbed. For everyone who upsets the balance will receive a “click on the nose.” You should not increase the significance of your importance. You are still a small grain of sand in space who has an excessive and false ego. We must understand that we are all equal. All people are cut from the same cloth. We are unity. You need to consciously abandon dark thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Consciously move towards goodness and light
Common Causes
No one is born with the pathology of pride. This is an acquired quality during life's journey.
The most common reason for the development of pride is improper upbringing . When parents instill in their child that he is better than all his peers and never punish him for mistakes, the child does not learn to accept criticism and analyze his actions. Such children do not understand that they have shortcomings, like all people who need to be worked over. work. They consider themselves special, celestial beings.
You need to praise the child, but you should not convince him that he is better than everyone else. Superiority over others is a source of pride and high self-esteem. A child entering adulthood is faced with a wall of misunderstanding. Those around him cannot tolerate his consumerist attitude. For the actions he has committed, he throws off the burden of responsibility and places it on the shoulders of others. Such a person turns out to be completely unadapted to life in society.
In addition, arrogance and arrogance, accompanying qualities of pride, develop for the following reasons:
- Special status or innate talents. There are people who are born with bright talents, thanks to which they quickly achieve success. Some of them, having gained fame, big day, begin to consider themselves better than others. People who do not have great talents, but who are overwhelmed by fame and money, can come to the same conclusions. And this is often enough for pride to appear.
- Defensive reaction. Low self-esteem can become a provocateur of ostentatious pride. The fear of being ridiculed leads a person to start being smart and ostentatious. Often this maneuver looks stupid and funny.
- Aristocratic. Expressions such as “white bone” and “blue blood” indicate that there are individuals who consider themselves ideals descended from heaven. They are proud of their lineage or the social standing of their parents.
There are many reasons for the development of pride. A person can become proud even of the little toe on his left foot. Pride is visible both in powerful and high-ranking people and in the poor and disadvantaged. It is not surprising, because for the most part, the ambitions and conceit of a proud person are unjustified.
But whatever the reasons for the presence of this negative trait, there is only one way to combat it, requiring maximum and daily efforts. To get out of the strong snare of pride, it is important to want it.
What is the difference between pride and arrogance?
Because of pride, we do not allow others to wipe their feet on us and use us as they please. Pride is a trait of a full-fledged personality, love and respect for oneself.
And pride is excessive pride, boasting, arrogance and flaunting one’s wealth and well-being. Disdain for those who, in their opinion, are not good enough. But behind this pride there are inferiority complexes. Pride is a mask, an attempt to compensate for complexes. An attempt to prove to yourself and the world that you are a worthy person.
The reasons for this behavior? The person has not experienced true self-love. For example, they were disliked in childhood, humiliated by peers, or abandoned by one of their parents. Not everyone has this reaction to childhood trauma. It happens on the contrary, that a person tries to please everyone and everything in order to be loved. As a result, there is a lot of disappointment that not everyone responds to kindness with kindness or basic gratitude.
Mask of Powerlessness
But the child does not reach the bar set by his parents, then he blames himself, considers himself mediocre, and incorrect self-esteem comes to his mind, because his parents are unhappy with him.
When a child grows up, that’s when the fear appears that he will never be able to be as good as many people around him, that they cannot like him, and therefore success, happiness and love will never come to him. He begins to openly declare that he is a loser. A deep internal conflict is brewing and a chain of complexes is formed that hide under a mask that means “don’t pay any attention to me” and “don’t expect anything special from me.” He is not used to praise and does not accept it because he does not believe in himself.
How to pacify pride?
Start your day with gratitude. Gratitude for what you already have in your life. Make this effort on yourself, silence your pride. Because all this torment is not mental, it’s your brain again playing games with you, it’s neurosis looking for a way out, it’s the fear that has settled in you and doesn’t allow you to breathe freely.
There are two ways to live life: with love or fear.
Love for yourself, individual people, your business, life in general. As long as a person is ruled by love, he lives and enjoys life, and will always find a worthy explanation for what is happening, without making himself a nonentity. A person with love in his heart has adequate self-esteem and a sober outlook on life.
Troubles and difficulties happen to everyone, regardless of their financial situation, career success or happiness in their personal life. And a person who has let love for the world in which he lives into his heart understands that everything is temporary. Temporary happiness and temporary difficulties.
“Don’t wait until the rain subsides, learn to dance in the rain.”
If fear occupies the heart, love is in the shadows. Fear will explain everything from its bell tower, find excuses for everything and make you or the surrounding reality insignificant. And you will get suffering.
Why did we say gratitude? It allows you to bring love back to the forefront and save you from torment, kick pride in the horns and breathe freely again.
Start your day with sincere gratitude, silently, out loud, on paper. List what you are grateful for in this world, a specific person or event.
Thus, you will change your attitude towards the situation, and it will definitely change for the better.
Practice: Take small steps. Every day.
- If you did or thought about something and it has already happened, just think about the situation and how you could have done it differently? This is stage 1.
- At the moment of thought or action, stop yourself, do it differently. This is stage 2.
- Before committing an action or thought, stop yourself, do it differently. This is an absolutely conscious stage 3. Reach it and the world will become different for you and your health will definitely increase.
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Expert opinion: how to get rid of pride?
Natalya Kondrakhina – psychologist, psychotherapist. Calls himself a “designer of soul and spirit.” He runs his own video blog on YouTube. On her channel you can find various meditations, reflections, practical exercises and much more.
She released 4 videos on how to get rid of pride.
In part 1, Natalya tells how to work through pride. She also examines the concept of pride and its two components: a sense of superiority and resentment.
In part 2, she shares a list of conditions that form pride, and also tells how exactly she understands the meaning of the concept “Envy”.
In Part 3, practical classes begin. She talks about the first two steps on the path to getting rid of pride, and also shares how to transform one of the states from destructive to creative.
She devoted part 4 of this block to the last two steps on how to get rid of pride.
