Friendship - what is it?

What it is?

Friendship is a selfless personal relationship between people, based on common hobbies and interests, on mutual respect. This is how Wikipedia describes this concept.

But I don’t want to talk about friendship in the dry language of explanatory dictionaries. I want to write poems about true friendship and sing about it. After all, this is not just mutual trust, affection, spending time together. This is a certain state of mind, an internal connection that unites hearts and souls, a desire to empathize and support each other. Very often, friends are connected by deeper ties than blood kinship.

By and large, friendship is one of the manifestations of love.

Definition

Wikipedia gives the following interpretation of the concept of friendship. This is a stable, selfless relationship between people, which is based on spiritual closeness, respect, mutual affection, common interests, mutual understanding and mutual assistance.

This phenomenon is studied in sociology, social psychology, philosophy and anthropology.

The German sociologist Ferdinand Tönnies identified two types of social communication:

Community. It is based on emotional intimacy.
Society. Based on rational calculation and division of labor.

Thus, he considered friendship to be the embodiment of community, which is characteristic of small groups with insufficiently universal social ties.

Everyone can describe in their own words what friendship is exactly in their understanding. Someone will say that this is a kinship of souls, someone will explain this concept as a partnership in which there is no place for commercialism, lies, mistrust and calculation.

Friends speak the same language and understand each other perfectly. They are always ready to help, support in difficult times, and willingly sacrifice personal time and resources.

Who can you call a friend?

A friend, as Wikipedia explains, is a sworn brother, a comrade, a sworn brother, but not a blood relative.

A friend can be called a person who understands that friendship is a 24-hour concept. Only a friend is ready to pick up the phone at any time of the day or night, listen or rush to help, without demanding anything in return. Like in a good children's song:

There are friends, and for them, friends have no days off!

A friend is a person you can rely on, who will never let you down or betray you.

Being friends does not mean living your friend’s life instead. Being friends means always being close

Becoming friends is not always easy

Friend is a term that is often overused in today's world. Many people think that if they have known a person for a long time and have developed a good relationship, then they can be called a friend. Unfortunately, we do not understand that simply attaching the label “friend” to someone we know is wrong and pointless. It actually takes a lot of time and effort to build a true friendship, and becoming true friends is really not easy.

Although when you meet a person, you may think that making friends with him will be relatively easy. And you may even have a good relationship at first, but it doesn’t last long. Because in the beginning we all want to seem like perfect people. But the truth is that everyone has problems or shortcomings that we don't want to show, and over time they do show up. And only when you got to know the person well, when you understood who he really is. What are his good and bad sides? When you already trust each other enough. That's when you can try to develop a real friendship with him.

How willingly friends will tolerate each other's shortcomings and problems determines how successful their friendship will be. It takes time to build trust to a level where people are willing to show up as their authentic selves. But this is a very important factor that helps build true friendship.

Why is friendship needed?

Is it possible to do without friends? For most people no. It’s not for nothing that people say that friendship gives strength, confidence, and cleanses the soul. With whom, if not with a friend, over a cup of delicious tea or aromatic coffee, you can discuss your problems, share your innermost thoughts and dreams, and sometimes just be silent together.

Most people do not accept loneliness, and in modern society it is impossible to completely isolate yourself from society, to withdraw into your shell. Even the most closed person has at least one person whom he can call a friend.

When a person has one true friend, he is already fabulously rich. The great Cicero also said that we use neither water nor fire as often as friendship. They also say that you can never have too many friends.

Why does this happen, why do people need friends? Everything is very simple. Every person needs someone's attention, support, care. Who else, if not a friend, can you trust with your innermost thoughts and secrets, with whom else can you discuss the circumstances and events happening in life? Who, if not a friend or girlfriend, can sincerely rejoice at successes and achievements, sympathize with grief and give wise advice?

Enter the friend zone

Several years ago, researchers set out to find out what kind of friendships arise between residents of the same house. It turned out that residents of respectable upper floors were friends only with neighbors on the floor, while everyone else made friends throughout the house.

According to research, friends are more likely to be those whose paths constantly cross: colleagues, classmates, or those who go to the same gym. However, not all so simple.

Why do we chat with one person from yoga class, but barely say hello to another? The answer is simple: we share common interests. But that's not all: at some point, two people stop being just friends and become real friends.

“The transformation of friendship into friendship occurs when one person opens up to another and checks whether that other person is ready to open up to him in turn. It’s a reciprocal process,” says sociologist Beverly Fehr. Reciprocity is the key to friendship.

What does true friendship consist of?

In fact, true friendship cannot be broken down into components, squeezed into templates or frames. It is multifaceted and individual, and in each specific case it has its own system of connections and relationships.

But there are still some fundamental components of friendship. This:

trust and respect emotional connection and mutual assistance constancy and lack of competition self-sacrifice and honesty nurturing positive qualities selflessness and faith in friendship

Confidence

Friendship and trust are like two sides of the same coin; they cannot exist without each other. It is not for nothing that trust is considered the basis of strong friendship.

Unfortunately, people do not always trust each other. Sometimes trust flares up like a spark, sometimes it takes years to earn it. And only where trust appears, friendship is born. And this fire burns as long as there is trust.

Friendship marred by mistrust is doomed, since mistrust is the first step to betrayal.

True friendship does not require pretense; with a friend you can always be yourself, without playing a role and without trying to seem better

Respect

It's hard to imagine two friends, one of whom shows disrespect to the other. Such an alliance is not initially friendship. Disrespect, no matter what it is caused by - envy, resentment or something else - destroys friendship, makes it insincere. An insincere partner most often simply uses the other for his own purposes.

The ability to respect your friend, accept him as he is, and take his opinion into account are important components of a strong friendship.

Emotional connection

Friendship is characterized by special frankness and deep affection for each other. These include common interests, the opportunity for spiritual communication with a loved one, and the desire to take part in each other’s lives, be it support or wise advice.

The emotional coloring of friendship is multifaceted and diverse:

If the ability to rejoice in the successes and achievements of a friend or girlfriend brings satisfaction and a feeling of happiness - this is friendship. If there is a feeling of calm and security in a relationship, it is friendship. If the successes of friends bring joy, this is friendship.

Help

Friendship lives by its own unwritten laws. It has no charter or rules. Friends usually, at the behest of their hearts, determine their own level of responsibility. And this is not just communication or birthday greetings. This is a mutual desire to help each other in difficult situations.

Doesn’t it often happen that when help is needed, many turn to friends rather than relatives? And a true friend will always rush to do everything possible without unnecessary questions.

Only this way and not otherwise - this is required by the unwritten law of friendship.

Option 2

Friendship enriches life, it makes a person happy. Friends that a person makes in childhood and adolescence remain with him for life. They are the closest people and come to the rescue when things are difficult. They do not envy when a friend is doing well and successful. A person never forgets about friends. Even when people are far away, they still remain friends. A friend will never betray. He will always try to get into the situation and understand. Even if you make a mistake, a friend will always support you. I can confirm these thoughts with examples from the lives and works of great Russian writers.

A.S. Pushkin was very lucky in life. He had many friends. He met most of them at the Tsarskoye Selo Lyceum. The poet dedicated many poems to his friends. Some of them were written on the anniversary of the opening of the lyceum, which was celebrated on October 19. Some have recipients. Pushkin's best friend, who lived in the next room when they were studying at the Lyceum, was Ivan Pushchin. The poem "I. I. Pushchin" has an unusual history. The poet began writing it in 1825, and finished it a year later. He completed the work on the way to Moscow on the eve of the anniversary of the Decembrist uprising. It is dedicated to the arrival of a friend to Mikhailovskoye when Pushkin was in exile. After the uprising, Pushchin was sentenced to life in hard labor. Many of Pushkin's friends suffered the same fate. This poem was not published during Pushkin's lifetime. The poet addresses his friend, rewarding him with the epithets “first, priceless.” He is very happy about his friend's arrival. Meeting him gave my soul solace. They recalled the lyceum days when they were happy and carefree. Pushkin carried his lyceum friendship throughout his life. Before his death, he really wanted to see his friend. True friendship is not afraid of either obstacles or distance.

We can find an example of true friendship in F. M. Dostoevsky’s novel “Crime and Punishment.” The main character Rodion Raskolnikov has a friend from university, Dmitry Razumikhin. He, like Raskolnikov, dropped out of the university due to lack of funds. The young man does not despair and finds work for himself: lessons, translations. Razumikhin thinks little about himself; he often helps other people. In this they are similar to Raskolnikov, who also gives his last money to those in need. They differ only in that Raskolnikov is let down by pride, thanks to which he creates his inhuman theory. Razumikhin cannot believe that his friend actually thinks so. He comes to Raskolnikov's aid after the murder and supports his mother and sister. A friend sympathizes with Raskolnikov. After the verdict, he is even looking for a place to move to Siberia. Razumikhin is an honest and open person. He does not give up on his friend even when he commits a crime. He forgave Raskolnikov all his breakdowns and was with him all the time. This is true friendship. Razumikhin's friendship, as well as Sonya's love, helped Raskolnikov to resurrect. A person needs friendship, because only friends are able to support a person when he has stumbled or gotten into trouble.

These examples convince us that the importance of friendship in a person’s life is immeasurably high. It helps you to be yourself and not despair in difficult moments. Friendship develops the best qualities in a person and makes him stronger. In communicating with friends we find joy, peace, consolation, confirmation of our thoughts. Even if we argue with friends, it helps to find the right solution. Only a friend can honestly express his opinion about you. Friendship makes joy great and sorrow small. One of the sages said that friendship is the most necessary thing in life, since no one would wish for himself a life without friends, even if he had all the other benefits.

What spoils friendship?

Unfortunately, in our time of far-fetched standards, true friendship is increasingly becoming a real luxury. Maintaining friendship is an art, but ruining a relationship is quite easy. Qualities such as envy, guile, excessive curiosity, and using a friend for selfish purposes can not only ruin friendly relations, but also sow enmity between friends.

Envy

There is nothing worse for friendship than envy. This vice often becomes fatal for both parties. Envy can push the envious person to any meanness, betrayal, or deception.

Craftiness

If a friend is capable of deceit for the sake of his own selfish goals, such friendship is worthless. She simply has no future, because sooner or later the secret becomes clear, and then comes disappointment and pain from the loss of a loved one.

Building friendships brings great rewards

True friendships bring great benefits and satisfaction to people in life. Friendship makes a person better. She gives him strength and self-confidence. Therefore, you need to make every effort to learn how to make true friendships. Become a more sociable and socially active person. Let people know who you really are and they will love you back. As a result, you will become a happier and more cheerful person. Don't be afraid to build real friendships. Although it's not easy. But the result you get is worth any effort.

How many people in your life do you consider true friends?

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How is friendship different from camaraderie?

Comrades are not friends, they are a circle of friends whose communication comes down to a common worldview or a common view of some things. Such people can unite based on interests, a joint business or work.

Companionship can often precede friendship.

How to make new friends

If you don't have friends, it's worth putting some effort into rectifying the situation.

Develop yourself. Become an increasingly interesting person, whose experience, knowledge and example can be attractive and useful to others.
Work on your inner world. What matters is the feeling that people have around you. In this regard, working with specialists is effective. For example, our course “How to create an atmosphere of love, abundance and happiness around yourself in just 20 minutes a day” will help you find inner peace and achieve success in all areas of life.
Expand your social circle. Start going to the gym or visiting interest groups - an art studio, a dance club, etc. Get a dog of the breed that you have long dreamed of, because “dog lovers” often walk together. Join new groups on social networks on topics that interest you. There are many ways to make new acquaintances. Some of these connections, quite possibly, will develop into true friendship in the future.

Types of friendship

Friendship can be different - children's, youth and adults, men's and women's, between a man and a woman.

There are friends who have managed to carry friendship throughout their entire lives: kindergarten, school, university, adulthood, maturity. This is a special art, a gift of life that is not given to everyone.

Friendship has neither age nor gender - it unites hearts and kindred spirits. And she chooses whom to connect with invisible threads of love and affection.

Children's

Touching and naive children's friendship is particularly pure. Children are still inexperienced and unselfish; they trust not experience, but childish intuition. Children's friendship is distinguished by clarity, openness and simplicity; it often begins with a shared toy, a little children's secret or game. Growing up begins with childhood friendship; it is like a ticket to adulthood.

Youth

As children grow older, they become more selective in their choice of friends. At school and adolescence, a division occurs by gender - boys are more likely to be friends with boys, girls with girls.

Youthful maximalism sharpens the edges of relationships and strengthens feelings. Teenagers, as a rule, do not ask questions “Why” or “For what” they are friends - they just feel good together. And even if this friendship ends in childhood, it remains in the memory forever, it is remembered throughout life with special awe and tenderness.

Women's

There is an opinion that there is no real female friendship. It's a myth that women are great at making friends. It’s just that the fair half lives more with experiences and problems, discusses them in detail and often. Women's friendships can be long-lasting and loyal, except when a man comes between the friends.

Men's

Someone wise said that there is nothing stronger than male friendship. Many people believe that only relationships between men can last, while female unions are temporary and short-term. It just happened that way historically. In ancient times, men needed friendship in order to survive - it was difficult to kill a mammoth alone or protect themselves from enemies. Therefore, the strong half of humanity needed not just partnerships, but strong friendships based on trust and confidence that a friend would not betray and would always be able to defend himself.

So male friendship has its roots in ancient times.